Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Drivel from a Ditzy Dizzy Dame

Thought for the day:  The trouble with bucket seats is everybody doesn't have the same sized bucket.

Is the world spinning, or is it just me?
I never much cared for rides that spin you around. I dunno; maybe I inherited my poor grandmother's propensity for sea sickness, but what I do know is I don't like that nauseating feeling of being wobbly and off-balance. But I AM learning to live with it.

For more than a month, I've been fighting tinnitus and vertigo.What cracks me up is that one of the side effects of the medication the doctor prescribed is  ... dizziness. Swell, right? So, while most people have to imbibe multiple adult beverages to lurch around the room like a fool, all I have to do is stand up. Essentially, I'm getting the buzz without the booze. So, at least for now, I truly am a dizzy dame. And feeling rather ditzy, to boot. So if I ramble even more than usual today, sorry 'bout that.

Here we are, the first day of June. We surpassed ninety degrees multiple times in May, and today's supposed to be the hottest day so far this year. So, I ask you ... HOW

IS IT ????

  • Chickens are laying hard-cooked eggs.
  • Hot water is coming out of both taps.
  • Birds are using pot holders to get worms out of the ground.
  • The worms are crunchy.
  • Cows are giving evaporated milk.
  • Seat belt buckles can double as branding irons.
  • Sun tea can be made instantly.
  • Parking lot asphalt is sticky.
  • Trees are whistling for the dogs.
In spite of the heat, we'll be using our new charcoal grill today. And it's all our son-in-law's fault.

A couple weeks ago, he promised us the best pork chops we'd ever eaten in our entire lives. And he delivered. Big time. So much so that we went to Wally World and bought a charcoal grill just so we could reproduce them at home. And tonight's the night. 

And, what's more, I'm going to tell YOU the secrets to making these fabulous chops! Believe me, they will be the BEST, I promise you, the BEST you've ever tasted. The recipe came from the pages of the August, 2009 Cook's illustrated magazine. The magazine calls them, "Really Good Grill-Smoked Pork Chops", but they lie. NOT "really good." The B-E-S-T. 
  • Grill preparation: You'll want a disposable aluminum pan (or something similar) in the center of your grill, with hot coals on either side of it. (So you'll have HOT sections on the sides, and a COOLER section in the middle.)  Soak 2 cups of wood chips, (preferably hickory) for about 30 minutes, and then place the chips onto the hot charcoal. Put your grate in place, and then close the lid until the grate is hot and the chips are smoking. (about 5 minutes)
  • You'll need rib chops, approximately 1 1/2 inches thick. (Don't trim the fat!)
  • Rub the chops with salt/ pepper mix and pass two skewers through the loin muscle of each chop, and then space them about an inch apart on the skewers. (The idea is to be able to stand your chops up on the grill, bone-side down, and to allow the smoke to circulate through them.)
  • Once the grate is hot and the chips are smoking, place skewered chops, bone-side down, in the center of your grill, right above the aluminum pan. Cover, and cook approximately 30 minutes.
  • Remove chops from grill so you can take out the skewers. Brush one side of chops with sauce, then place them, sauce side down, over the hot charcoal. Cook, uncovered, for 2-4 minutes. Brush sauce on topside, then turn to sear other side over the hot charcoal for additional 2-4 minutes.
  • Remove from grill and tent with aluminum foil, allowing meat to rest for five minutes.
  • ENJOY!!!!!
  • SAUCE: I suppose you could use whatever your favorite sauce is, but here's the recommended recipe: 1/2 cup catsup; 1/4 cup mild molasses; 2 T grated onion; 2 T Worcestershire sauce; 2 T Dijon mustard; 2 T cider vinegar; 1 T brown sugar. Combine ingredients in a small saucepan and simmer over medium heat, stirring occasionally, for 5-7 minutes. (until it reaches a catsup-like consistency) Set 1/2 cup of it aside to serve at the table. The rest, for the grilling itself.

Oh man, now I've got pork chops on my mind. They are sooooo good. Charred crust, rosy-pink moist meat, and a true smoky flavor. Try 'em. If you like pork chops, I guarantee, you will LOVE these. 

I reckon this is enough disjointed babble for one day. Until next time, take care of yourselves. And each other. I believe I'm gonna go make some BBQ sauce.


  1. Your timing is perfect - I was just wondering what to do with some pork chops I planned to grill tonight!

    As for the How Hot is It List, my favourite is the birds wearing pot holders. Now that's hot!

  2. Vertigo? Ugh. I had that a while back. Not pleasant at all. Hope you're over it soon.

    You had me cracking up over how hot it is (here, too), and those chops sound delicious!

  3. Enjoy your barbecue! Sorry to hear about the vertigo. I know that is no fun at all, and I hope it clears up for you ASAP!

  4. They sound delicious. Yum

    I hope you are feeling better soon.

  5. They sound great and complicated. We ate out tonight.

  6. Sounds like a terrific recipe! Sorry you're so dizzy, but you don't seem ditzy to me. Feel better soon! Julie

  7. Recipe sounds delish! I would have to go buy a new grill too. We've got propane.

    I can sympathize with the scorching weather. I guess it's better than tornadoes!

  8. My gosh, we must be distant cousins. I did the same blog today, but not as colorful or as interesting. Do you have any Irish in your background, as the humor of us put-upon, guilt-ridden, taller leprechaun's always comes out.

    We are all sweating on the east coast, but Pa is getting some cool relief tomorrow from the west. Thank God for the west.

  9. Nom. Now I want to fire up the grill! Sorry you're having these health issues, too. Hope it straightens itself out soon and the side effects lessen.

    Angela @ The Bookshelf Muse

  10. Tinnitus must be dreadful. I feel very sorry for you!

    Pork chops sound delicious. A good sticky sauce over ribs is my kinda food!

  11. Hot? It's Hades where I am. I can't stand the heat. And we can't use the air conditioning. My clothes dry on the line in 9 minutes, down from 17. I have to put booties on the dogs to keep their little feet from frying off. And I'm hoping because it's too hot to eat, I may lose 5 pounds or so. Wouldn't that be nice.

    Sorry about the tinnitus and vertigo. That's not pleasant at all.

  12. Hi, All. Thank you all for your comments.

    Kara- I hope you gave that recipe a try. If so, how'd they turn out for you? Yeah, it's hot, hot, hot. The hyperactive chihuahua next door doesn't even have the energy to yap.

    Linda- It's encouraging to hear that your vertigo is a thing of the past. Mine seems to be a byproduct of the tinnitus. If the doctor can figure out a way to turn off the noise inside of my ears, I should be AOK.

    Dianne- Thank you, dear lady. I appreciate it.

    Skippy- Thanks. The chops were G-O-O-D!

    Karla- They're not complicated at all. (But I must admit, not as simple as going out and letting someone ELSE cook!)

    Julie- Thanks. Oh, I've definitely had my ditzy moments.

    Danielle- You're right. The heat is most definitely better than tornadoes. I can hide from the heat in the air conditioning. Nowhere to hide if a tornado decides to target you.

    Starting Over- No respite from the heat in sight here. Every day in the 6-day forecast projects highs in the mid-90s. Like I already told you on your blog, I'm not Irish, but I'm willing to adopt you as a distant cousin. I like the idea of being a tall leprechaun.

    Angela- Thanks. And go ahead ... fire up that grill! (You won't be sorry!)

    Cro- Welcome, dear sir. I believe this is your first visit. The tinnitus is annoying, but if there's enough background noise, I can kinda tune it out. (Like my hubby swears I do to HIM!) Go ahead. Try the chops. Your wife will think you're an accomplished chef!

    Anne- OMG, no air conditioning??? That IS hades. I can do without a lot of things, but in this heat, air conditioning is a must. Sweating off the weight isn't my idea of fun.

  13. Hope you enjoyed the BBQ, Susan, even in this heat. I see you live in the "deep" south. I'm in Northern Virginia, which I consider the south. It IS HOT!

    Sorry you're feeling so dizzy. But I'm glad you stopped by. You asked if my memoir would be in the bookstores. Not unless it should get picked up by a major publisher! But my small publisher has done a terrific job. It's best to order the paperback through them, not Amazon. They charge less for S&H.

    If you go back to my blog, you'll see on the left sidebar where to order the print book through the publisher, and also where you can click to order an ebook if you have an ereader. I think/hope you might like it. I've had some incredible response so far from the book, which gives me chills.

    Take care. Get well!
    Ann Best, Memoir Author

  14. I love smoked pork chops! I'm drooling.

    I hope you're feeling better soon. Vertigo is a nasty problem to beat.

  15. Hi, Ann. Yeah, we're in GA, which is about as "deep" south as you can get. (For some reason, locals don't seem to consider Florida a "southern state" ... maybe because of all the northern transplants there?)Thanks for the info on ordering your book. (soooo exciting!)

    Hi, Connie. Don't drool! Throw some chops on the grill! I reckon the vertigo is gonna take time. Maybe if the doc can lick the tinnitus, the vertigo will go, too. Thanks for the good wishes. Take care.

  16. Hi, Susan,
    I don't have a grill, but I do some pretty good pork chops in a skillet, and add cream of celery soup on top of them along with a lid, and cook slowly. After they are done, I add a little bit of milk and make a gravy to go on top of them. They are quite good. I love smoked, barbequed chops as well. Supposed to be right near a hundred degrees here today.
    I have tinnitus and have had for about 9 or 10 years now. Dizziness if I get up on my feet too quickly. Good luck with it.

  17. Hi, Ruby. Your chops sound mighty good, too, especially if you throw some onions in there. YUM! Sorry to hear you've have tinnitus for so long, although I suppose by now, you've gotten used to it. I've already learned to tune it out pretty well, as long as there's some background noise to distract me. Harder in the quiet of the night, though, isn't it? Sometimes, it's hard to believe my husband can sleep through all that noise, HA! You take care, and keep cool!