Monday, July 11, 2011

Spacious Sardine Cans

Thought for the day:  Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.  

Do these glasses look OK on me?
I'm not really here right now. That is, I'm writing this post on Saturday, but when it appears like magic on my blog on Monday, I won't actually be here. (Dontcha love that Blogger lets us do that?)

I'll be at the opth   ophth   eye doctor's on Monday. So might as well get the post done early, right? In fact, I'm gonna try to set up multiple posts today, because I won't "be around" for a while. You've heard of the British invasion of the '60s? Well, we're expecting a Polish invasion at our house. Our grandchildren. Seven of them will be visiting. All our kids and their spouses, too. So, as you can imagine, I'm gonna be kinda busy ... cooking, cooking, cooking, running the washing machine, and most important of all, enjoying the kids and grandkids. Not sure if I'll have any time at all to get on the computer, but if I do, I'll try to check for your comments. Probably won't be checking your blogs, though. Sorry. Not that I don't love you guys, but I love those younguns more.

2012 Mini coupe

There was a write-up in last night's newspaper about the 2012 two-seat Mini coupe. The Mini Coopers are kinda cute, but this new top-of-the-line sporty coupe will be able to achieve speeds of 149 mph. Not that I have any interest in traveling that fast, but it's a bit of a disconnect to think of a Mini and that kind of speed. You can even order luxurious leather seats and special spiffy alloy wheels for it. Considering all the options on this cute little car that's being marketed as a vehicle to "maximize driving fun",  you could almost call this a luxury car. If you don't mind riding around in a sardine can, that is. 

Made me think about what sort of luxury features I'd put into a car. Leather interiors are nice, and even here in Atlanta, heated seats feel mighty good on a chilly winter morning, but there are a couple more practical luxuries I believe most parents would pay extra money to call their own. Like those windows limos have separating the front seat from the back. Can you imagine? How many times have you had to endure the raucous sounds of children bruising the crap out of each other in a ridiculous game of punch buggy in the back seat? Or heard the question, "Are we there yet?" Oh, and my favorite: the endless litany of "He's touching me!" and "She touched me first!" emanating from the back seat. How many times have you heard THAT? Enough times that you're tempted to pull the car over and do a little "touching" yourself? Well, then, just think of it. If you had one of those super duper cool windows, you could hit the button, and voila! Peace and quiet. 

One other feature that might come in handy, although I don't believe I'd ever have the chutzpah to use it, would be an ejection seat. Got any back seat drivers who drive you nuts? Give 'em a warning, and then pfffft! Out they go. Just having that puppy in the car as an option would likely put an end to most of that annoying know-it-all babbling. You'd never even have to use it. Not more than once, anyway ...

OK, back to the "fast" or "luxury" Mini. Either one is a bit of an oxymoron, isn't it? So, just for fun, let's look at some other oxymorons. The most commonly referenced oxymoron is probably "jumbo shrimp", but here are some others you may not have heard before. Let's call them 

 The Top 35 Oxymorons of All Time   

  • State worker
  • Legally drunk
  • Exact estimate
  • Act naturally
  • Found missing
  • Resident alien
  • Genuine imitation
  • Airline food
  • Good grief
  • Government organization
  • Sanitary landfill
  • Alone together
  • Small crowd
  • Business ethics
  • Soft rock
  • Amtrak schedule
  • Military intelligence
  • Sweet sorrow
  • Compassionate conservative
  • "Now, then ... "
  • Passive aggression
  • Clearly misunderstood
  • Peace force
  • Extinct life
  • Plastic glasses
  • Terribly pleased
  • Computer security
  • Political science
  • Tight slacks
  • Definite maybe
  • Pretty ugly
  • Rap music
  • Working vacation
  • Religious tolerance
  • Microsoft Works

Pretty good, huh? That list was sent to me almost a decade ago by one of Georgia's Emergency Managers. I thought it was funny then, and I still think it's funny, now.

How about you? Have any oxymorons you'd care to share? Or a luxury feature you'd like to see in your next vehicle? Do tell.

Until next time, take care of yourselves. And each other.

Have a fuzzy-licious happy day


  1. Enjoy those grandchildren.

  2. Peaceful demonstration? Quiet grandchildren?

  3. Susan, enjoy your family time. It is so very precious.

  4. Luxury feature for a car... Dolph Lundgren, ca. 1985, as my personal chauffeur...

    Feast and have fun! We'll all be here when you get back.

  5. Love the Mini; wanted to buy one last time around, but my son, Mr. Knows Everything, said it was a deathtrap for me. When I see one go by, I wish I had not listened to him. It is one cute car.

    For 10 years we, along with a group of friends, drove down to Florida for vacation - a one and a half day trip. We packed 2 1/2 weeks of stuff and four kids in an Oldsmobile sedan. There were many times I wished I had the ejection seat for myself.

    Relaxing family vacation, 3 words, but oxymoron none-the-less.

    Have a good time with your family.

  6. Hi, Delores. Thanks. I'm sure planning on it. (Now, if only I don't wear myself out before they even get here ...)

    Hi, Cro. I've seen a peaceful demonstration before, but quiet grandchildren? Only when they're asleep.

    Hi, Karen. Thank you. I will.
    Hi, Austan. Oooo, that sounds good. Or how bout Cary Grant, circa 1960?

    Hi, Starting Over. The Mini is really cute, but I have to agree with your son. The only other vehicle one of them can tangle with and come out ahead is a bicycle, and that might be a toss-up. I'd rather have a little more heavy metal around me when I'm on the nutso interstate around here. Yeah, stuffed in a car with that many people, I imagine a calgon-take-me-away ejection seat would've come in pretty handy at times.

  7. Rap Music! Now that IS an oxymoron! I once tried to explain to my 19-yr-old that it's not music if it doesn't have a tune, but he just thought I was too old to understand. Like Duh!

    Enjoy your grandkids!

  8. Oh, have fun with those kids and grandkids! :)

  9. Love that list of oxymorons!!! Have fun with the kids! I also have relatives in town this week, and it's wonderful!

  10. Hi, Kara. Oh, that is definitely a good one, only I never call it "rap music." I always call it "rap crap." Has a nice sound to it, don't you think?

    Hi, Linda. Thank you, ma'am. Gonna try.

    Hi Dianne. Enjoy your visitors, too. Our first wave gets here tomorrow, and I can't wait! Still have a ton of stuff to do, but one way or another, we'll be ready for them. (Not sure about our cats, though. They're not happy with all the makeshift beds behind "closed doors"!

  11. Hi, Susan, I bet you are really enjoying having family there with you. I'll bet they are bushels of fun, too! I love the Mini Cooper cars. I looked at them when I was shopping for a new car back in 2008, but wound up with a Toyota Yaris, which is also a small car. Mine is candy apple red, and suits my personality to a "T". I couldn't afford the Mini Cooper, but I really drooled over them. Have fun! Love, Ruby

  12. Great luxury additions to cars! I especially like the ejection seat! Have a wonderful time with your grandchildren! I'm sure they'll provide lots of interesting material for you! Julie

  13. Enjoy those grandbabies! We all deserve a break.

  14. Hi, Ruby. I'm thoroughly enjoying the family. (and thoroughly enjoying this wee respite this morning, too!) Great minds think alike. My little car is called bright red ... and they weren't kidding when they called it bright!

    Hi, Julie. I've been having a blast with the "first wave" of grandkids. The second group comes in later today, and it'll be fun to see how they all get along together. One of our grandsons keeps dancing around and saying, "I'm gonna see my cousins! I'm gonna see my cousins!" although he doesn't have a clue what that means.

    Hi, Florida. We're enjoying the break, and as long as the BenGay holds out, the kiddies won't "break" us.