Wednesday, March 14, 2012

A Little Byte of Humor

Thought for the day:  A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history --- with the possible exception of handguns and tequila.  [Mitch Ratcliffe]

Most of us have a love-hate relationship with our computers. The first computer I ever worked with was so huge it filled an entire room, ceiling to floor. Had to enter data onto a bazillion IBM cards, feed them into that behemoth, and then wait for it to churn out the results in its own sweet time. Boy, times sure have changed, haven't they?

 But one thing hasn't changed : Never ever let a computer know you're in a hurry.

Whatever frustrations you ever experience with your computer, I think it's fairly safe to say you ... aren't alone.

My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.

Are your kids addicted to computer

Is it a bit of a hassle to get them away from the  house?

Buying the right computer and getting it to work properly is no more complicated than building a nuclear reactor from wristwatch parts in a darkened room using only your teeth.  [Dave Barry]

Is the area around your computer a little ... messy?

There are 10 kinds of people in the world ... those who understand binary, and those who don't.

Have you ever taken your computer where ...  no computer has ever gone before?
There is only one satisfying way to boot a computer.  [J.H. Goldfuss]

Have you ever wished you had a set-up like this?

A simpler version for retired men?

Experts agree that the best type of computer for your individual needs is one that comes on the market about two days after you actually purchase some other computer.  [Dave Barry]

Okay, I spend a lot of time sitting at this computer, but I absolutely draw the line HERE! (The Internet connection probably sucks from six feet under, anyway.)
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.  [Emo Philips]

Well, that's it for today. I believe I'll unglue my derriere from this chair, walk away from this addictive computer, and go outside. The sweet gum balls are about ankle high now, so maybe it's time to tame 'em with a rake. Oh, don't forget! Have a nice slice of pi today.

Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft ... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.  [Wernher von Braun]

                                  Until next time, take care of yourselves. And each other.


  1. The thought for the day (Mitch Ratcliffe) is an extremely apt observation.
    I've been computerized much longer than I care to remember - - but I very often yearn for the simple, uncomplicated days of typewriters and snail mail.....

  2. I love the picture of the laptop being used in the stall! Bwa-ha-ha!

  3. The computer has taken new forms now, i.e., smart phones and tablets. You can't walk into any room and not see more than half the people scrolling up and down on their newest toy. This includes me. It is an addiction.

  4. OK, I AM a little bit messy, but I didn't give permission to have my study photographed!

  5. LOL! Lots of truth in all that computer humor.

  6. Love the throne room set up.....but hubby says I spend way to much time in there as it is.

  7. It's all true! And wow- I remember those days of the computer that took up a whole room. The room was glass-enclosed and air conditioned, and everyone was paranoid about dust. And loud?! Look how far we've come, indeed.

  8. You hit so many nails on the head, I bet everyone has the squirmy-wormies. Recently I've been so proud of myself that I've almost completely given up TV....... yeah right..... I'm trying to cut down on computer too but I still have that yearning to read my favorite blogs. :)

  9. It's amazing how much better computer's have gotten -- faster and easier to use. I no longer get angry at mine. There there, nice computer...

  10. Jon- I know what you mean. My husband and I refuse to follow the trend of carrying a PDA, and opt instead to carry a good ol' PAD and pencil.

    Dianne- Yeah, that's a hoot, isn't it? (But I wouldn't be surprised to see someone actually DO that, would you?)

    Arleen- You're right; it is an addiction, and one I certainly never expected to acquire. (At least the monkeys on our back are getting smaller, right?)

    Cro- When I'm working on the computer, books and folders and papers have a way of piling up around me of their own accord. (The only reason food wrappers don't pile up is there's a trash can right beside me.)

    Linda- Uh-huh.

    Delores- The throne is too funny, isn't it? But it really needs to have a fridge and well-stocked bookshelf beside it to make it the perfect seat.

    Laura- Those old computer rooms seem unbelievable in light of today's technology. It used to crack me up when our kids grumbled about their computer being heavy or slow.

    Manzie- With most of the stuff that's on TV these days, it wouldn't be hard to give that up, but the computer? OY! It's like a lifeline to the rest of the world. I can leave it alone to spend time with the family, but not sure I ever want to give it up for good.

    Carrie- You're right. I'm almost afraid to say it, but it's been a looooong time since I've seen the horrible "blue screen of death." (Don't miss it, either!)

  11. I think my guy would love that toilet set up, although his iPhone does the trick! ha! Hope you are enjoying some time outside today! :-)

  12. We don't even have a home computer and, after looking at those pictures, I think I'm glad :)

  13. Hilarious post as always! Kids these days really are hooked on computers and smart phones. I remember when there was one computer in our family, and you had assigned "computer time". Dialing up to the internet took half that time. :P

  14. Hi Susan,

    You are number 258 on my blog hopping through the Eights journey . You can check out my post about it @ JennsScribbles.

    Nice to know that, just as I suspected, my computer can sense when I'm in a hurry. FUNNY images. Many felt oddly familiar.

  15. Never ever let a computer know you're in a hurry.

    There have never been words more true! :)

  16. Outstanding photos, and I love Dave Barry. In days of yore, we had a printer that required us to feed him with one sheet of paper at a time. Feeding the sheets without getting a crooked print job was almost as difficult as having a baby. Almost. Not quite.


  17. Tracy- I think a lot of guys ... and maybe some gals, too ... would like that potty. Didn't spend as much time outside as I'd planned. Too much pollen. (That's as good an excuse as any, right?)

    Judy- Good for you! Gives you a bit of freedom, doesn't it?

    Shelley- Glad you enjoyed it. Our kids grew up with computers, and now our grandchildren are already more computer literate than I am.

    Jenn- Wow, you've been doing some serious blog-hopping, haven't you? Thanks for stopping by. And yes, I'm convinced our computers know when we're in a hurry. (Ever notice how it always wants to do a bunch of updates when you wanta shut down?)

    Al- Thanks. That one really tickles me, too.

    DL- You betcha.

    Janie- Barry really comes up with some funny lines, doesn't he? Boy, that printer must have been a real pain in the ol' patootie.

    Y'all take care.

  18. The "thought for the day" is my favorite quote on here. I woke the dog laughing at just how true it is.

    I love your posts. So well written, witty and smart. Thanks Mrs. Swiderski :D

  19. great pics and I admit to being slightly addicted, which is kinda funny since I didn't grow up with computers. But boy I sure fell in love when they arrived on the scene :)

  20. Hi Susan .. amazing ridiculous thoughts - that certainly could have one rolling around .. the thought of a coffined connected PC, and a toilet embraced computer .. all a bit much .. I hope your raking went well!

    Enjoy the Spring weather .. cheers for now .. Hilary

  21. Thankfully my hubs has taken over our household IT department. I'm terrible at it.

    And enjoy that fresh air.

  22. Skippy- You're welcome, little girl. "Mrs. Swiderski???" Yipes. No, no, no ... that's my MOTHER-IN-LAW. Sheesh.

    Marcy- At least it isn't an addiction that makes ya sick or obese. (Unless you happen to eat a whole bag of chocolate-covered pretzels while you're sitting at the computer, like I just did.)

    Hilary- I think we skipped right past springtime this year, even though, according to the calendar, it's still WINTER. Over eighty degrees today, for heaven's sake. And ankle-deep pollen. (But the flowers are pretty!) Take care. Cheers to you, too.

    Tina- My hubby's the computer whiz kid around here, too. (Thank goodness.)

  23. Ok, I'm in instant blog-love. You had me at cogito ergo spud, and then sealed the deal with your very first quote. My first computer was the family's Atari 800, circa 1981, and you loaded games with a cassette tape drive. I remember playing European countries and capitals over and over again. I still know them, only half of those countries don't exist anymore...
    Thanks for your visit. You're right that hubby needs his own pair, but he's a miser and would never spend that much for shoes for himself. No problem for his wife, though the sweetie.
    Tina @ Life is Good
    Co-Host of the April A to Z Challenge
    Twitter: @AprilA2Z #atozchallenge

  24. P.S That's my kid outside the window with the controller. He's also the one being dragged to the car...just in case you were wondering who they were...
    Tina @ Life is Good
    Co-Host of the April A to Z Challenge
    Twitter: @AprilA2Z #atozchallenge

  25. Funny. Thanks for the lift. I must say, I do love my computer. It's the centerpiece of two of my major avocations... photography and writing... and a major source of entertainment. Time to get my ass out of this chair and go outside. Wait a minute, it's night time. OK, get off my ass and go lay on the couch and stare at another flat screen.

  26. It's scary how addictive and connected we are all becoming...and it's probably gonna get worse. Hope you did have a nice slice of pi! And the pi cake was delicious!

  27. Ah yes, computers! There's something I need to get for my was it? Something about a stick. Hang on...oh yeah, I need to get a 'memory stick'? Now then, where am I?

  28. I just spent five hours fighting with my new wireless printer/scanner/fax. Had to fiddle with the router settings and all that stuff.

    I'm not a big techie, but geez...felt like I was doing brain surgery.

  29. Tina- The first computer our kids used when they were growing up was a Timex-Sinclair, and it worked with a cassette player, too. One of our sons would spend hours and hours and hours programming a game on that thing, and then would inadvertently hit the wrong key and lose everything. (He sure was happy when we upgraded.)

    Mr. C- At least your arse gets an occasional change of scenery, right?

    Debbie- I think maybe the addiction is cyclic. Our kids spent way too much time on the computer when they were younger, but now that they're working and raising families, they don't have the time anymore. Now their kids and retired parents are the ones at the keyboards.

    Gary- It'd be nice if we could plug one of those memory sticks into our own brains, wouldn't it?

    Jay- Ugh. Not fun. When we first got the wireless router in our house, I had a heckuva time keeping a connection in my office. Turned out, there were several other routers in equal proximity. So my hubby had to run an ether cable in here. Me, I just stay out of his way and applaud when he's done.

  30. The bathroom set-up is also my favorite! That chair looks very comfortable, but there should be a mini fridge next to it! Julie

  31. Julie- Absolutely. A mini fridge, and a snack box of goodies. Maybe a radio ... and a magazine rack ...