Monday, January 21, 2013

Cold Enough For Ya?

Thought for the day:  It's been so cold in Texas, my brother's rooster ran into KFC and begged to use the pressure cooker.


[seniorark]
Okay, so I lied. Parts of Texas have been bitterly cold this year, (right, Jon?) but not where my brother lives, so none of his chickens have actually made a suicide run to KFC.

So sue me. I thought it was funny.

I don't know where that incredible ice storm picture I found at seniorark was taken, but I do know it's someplace I don't wanta be. How about you? Has it been a cold winter where you live?  I know some of you guys reading this are in the middle of a miserable summer heat wave right now, but most of us are in the middle of winter. Not that you'd know it around here. It was 76 degrees a couple weekends ago, and our daffodils look like they're gonna bloom any day now.

Nonetheless, I trust that some of you are feeling the cold right now, are seeing snow outside your window, and are already daydreaming about springtime. So these are just for you...

[seniorark]
How cold is it? It's so cold...
  • Hitchhikers are holding up pictures of a thumb.
  • A recorded message at the  911 center says to call back in the spring.
  • I saw a squirrel throwing himself at an electric fence.
  • My friend chipped a tooth on her soup.
  • The old lady across the street couldn't believe how badly her teeth were chattering last night. They were sitting in a glass at the time. 
  • Starbucks started selling coffee on a stick.
  • When farmers milk their cows, they get ice cream.
  • If you can believe it, politicians have their hands in their OWN pockets.
  • I saw a dog over on Main Street. The poor thing was frozen to the fire hydrant.
  • We have one of those new rain showerheads. I love it, but the other day, when I turned it on, I got hail.
  • My husband and I ate lunch at a greasy spoon yesterday... just for the heartburn.
  • EVERYBODY has a stiff upper lip.
[Morguefile]

So, let's chat. Wanta know why  cold weather is on my mind today? 

I'll tell ya. Because of Julie Flanders' hot new book with a super cool title:  Polar Night. 


And that's not ALL!







[Morguefile]







I'm plunging in to help her cover make a big splash!













                                                                   

                                                                   Ready to see it? 


                                                           
                                                            It is absolutely gorgeous.


                                                                     
                                                                     Chillingly so...





                                         

                                      WOW, right? Wanta hear something about the book?

                                                    Take it awaaaaay, Julie:

Book Blurb: When Detective Danny Fitzpatrick leaves his hometown of Chicago and moves to Fairbanks, Alaska he wants nothing more than to escape the violence and heartbreak that left his life in pieces. Numbed by alcohol and the frozen temperatures of an Alaskan winter, Danny is content with a dead-end job investigating Fairbanks' cold cases. That all changes when a pretty blond woman goes missing on the winter solstice, and Danny stumbles upon some surprising connections between her disappearance and that of another Fairbanks woman three years earlier. Forced out of his lethargy, Danny sets out to both find the missing woman and solve his own cold case.

The investigation points Danny towards Aleksei Nechayev, the handsome and charming proprietor of an old asylum turned haunted tourist attraction in the Arctic town of Coldfoot. As he tries to find a link between Nechayev and his case, Danny's instinct tells him that Nechayev is much more than what he seems.

Danny has no idea that Nechayev is hiding a secret that is much more horrifying than anything he could ever have imagined. As his obsession with finding the missing women grows, Danny finds his own life in danger. And when the truth is finally revealed, the world as he knows it will never be the same.


Bio: Julie Flanders is a librarian and a freelance writer who has written for both online and print publications. She is an avid animal lover and shares her home in Cincinnati, Ohio with her dog and cat. Polar Night, a suspense thriller with a supernatural twist, is her first novel. It will be published by Ink Smith Publishing on February 7, 2013. Find Julie online at her blog, on Twitter, and on Facebook.

******

There ya go. February 7 is the date to remember. Best wishes to Julie for a red hot launch next month.

******

Okay, I'm on a roll with this whole talking about cold stuff, so I'm gonna share one more thing with you before wrapping it up. You know how the people in some cities pride themselves on being able to handle frigid temperatures better than people in other cities? There have been quite a few funny pieces written along this line about various American cities, and you may have seen some of them. One of the truly cool things about amateur radio is how it opens the door to enjoying friendships with people from all over the world. So, thanks to amateur radio, and specifically to a funny Finnish amateur radio operator, here's a fun piece about cold-weather fortitude... with a bit of an international flair. All temperatures are in degrees Centigrade.
  • +15 --- Spanish wear caps, gloves, and winter coats; Finns are sunbathing.
  • +10 --- French desperately try to get their central heating on; Finns plant flowers.
  • + 5 --- Italian cars won't start; Finns drive convertibles.
  •    0 --- Pure water freezes; water in River Vantaa thickens a bit.
  • - 5 --- First people are found frozen in California; Finnish midsummer festival ends.
  • -10 --- Scots turn the heat on in their houses; Finns start to wear long-sleeved shirts.
  • -20 --- Swedes stay indoors; Finns are having last barbecue before winter.
  • -30 --- Half of the Greek people have been frozen to death; Finns start to dry laundry indoors.
  • -50 --- Polar bears evacuate North Pole; Finnish army starts its winter training.
  • -70 --- Siberians are moving to Moscow; Finns are furious, because their Kiskenkorva liquor can't be stored outdoors anymore.
  • -273 --- Absolute zero; Finns admit that it is quite cold outside.
  • -300 --- Hell freezes over; Finland wins the World Cup.
So, there ya have it. Time for a cuppa hot tea, dontcha think? Or maybe ...  a little nap.

    [Morguefile]

                                    Until next time, take care of yourselves. And each other.


62 comments:

  1. Yes, it's a bit hellish here also. I've actually been to Hell (if that's the one in the Cayman Islands).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I doubt if that sign is from the Caymans. It may get hot as hell there, but I doubt if it freezes over.

      Delete
  2. I got lots of laughs from all the cold jokes, and it helped warm me up. Parts of Texas have indeed been bitterly cold this year. I live on the high plains of West TX where the elevation is over 3,300 feet. That's incredibly high, considering that most of Texas is as flat as Twiggy's boobs.
    (Aw, heck, some of us remember Twiggy, don't we???).

    Anyway, it can get surprisingly cold here in the winter. There are only two seasons here - cold as a penguin's kiss and hotter than Hades.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No wonder you love it there so much. And of course I remember Twiggy.

      Delete
  3. What a creative lead in to Polar Night! I'm so excited for Julie! It's pretty cold here too, but I'll try not to chip a tooth on my soup! I'll have to remember to savor not gulp! Julie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, if I'm nothing else, I'm ... "different".

      Love that "savor not gulp" reference. Made me smile.

      Delete
  4. Those jokes are hilarious! The Finns appear to be a mighty tough people.
    "Politicians have their hands in their OWN pockets"
    I do NOT believe that, not even for a millisecond.

    @Jon; I remember Twiggy, huge eyes, stick figure arms and legs, girls world-wide starving themselves to look just like her.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, you've got a point about the politicians, but it makes a good funny, anyway.

      Delete
  5. Just what I needed for a Monday. Lots of cold. lol It's been up and down this winter. It gets cold for a couple of weeks, then warms up, then gets cold again. We had snow last week, they cancelled school, my daughter went out at 8am to sled, and the snow melted by 10.

    Julie's novel sounds really good. Thanks for spotlighting it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The kind of snow you had last week sounds like what we (only rarely) get here in the Atlanta area. It barely lasts long enough to make a snowball. Matter of fact, schools here shut down if the weather prognosticators say it MIGHT snow. And if a couple of flakes DO fall, people abandon their vehicles on the side (or right in the middle!) of the road, and walk home. (Okay, so that's a slight exaggeration, but not by much!)

      Delete
  6. I enjoy cold weather...just not the ice-based precipitation that often accompanies it. I've seen Julie's book everywhere today. An interesting premise set in one of my favorite vacation spots...quite a combination! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I like the kind of cold that's invigorating and puts a rose in your cheek, and snow is such a rare novelty here, I even enjoy that. (As long as I don't have to drive in it... Atlanta people do NOT know how to drive in snow and ice... or rain, for that matter.)

      Delete
  7. These fun facts are fantastic. :) Our weather has been wacky here... 56 yesterday, with the wind chill today it's 15. Welcome to New England.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. BRRRR. No, thank you. When I watched the weather report this morning, I thought about one of our blogger buddies who lives in Minneapolis. She's been saying it hasn't been cold enough. Well, it was six below zero there this morning, and I couldn't help but think about her waiting for a bus to take her to work this morning. Somehow, I don't think she's complaining about it being too warm now.

      Delete
  8. Actually warmer here than usual, but sure you would still consider it cold hahaha love tho jokes and great cover too, whoops forgot a rhyme to come due. It's so cold, that things aren't bold. Can't blame the pool, also don't drool. Or it will freeze and only thaw with a spring breeze.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's always nice when you leave a rhyme,
      But I also know it takes more time.
      So, don't strain your brain, for I swear it's true,
      I'm simply happy to hear from you.

      Delete
  9. I laughed so much at this post, that I can hardly see the computer screen through my tears!

    My Spawn and I both love snow but I fear that the 'Great Grit Famine' of 2010, is about to be repeated here. It's shameful how other countries cope well with a huge amount of the white stuff, (and no I don't mean cocaine) yet Britain comes to a complete standstill at the sight of a snowflake. We're an embarrassment to humans everywhere.

    Now I'm off to risk certain death, by trying not to break my neck on the ice. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The British reaction to snow can't possibly be any worse than what it is here in the Atlanta area. I kid you not, schools have been closed, meetings canceled, and businesses shut down for the day... all because the weather report said it was GONNA snow. (And then didn't...) God help us if any white stuff actually DOES snow. Traffic jams out the wazoo... vehicles abandoned... and tee shirts printed saying "I survived the snowjam of ____" And another oddity: as soon as the weatherman even says the dreaded S word, there's an instantaneous run on the grocery stores. For whatever reason, everyone around here stocks up on bread.

      Be careful out there on that ice!

      Delete
  10. Oh geezzz.....this is too funny! Except....we are at -16 right now...8:50am. High today is supposed to be... -12. Tonight's low.....-24 to -40. Thank goodness it's supposed to last for just one more day. In the meantime, woodstove is cranked, infrared heaters are full bore, including the one in the water closet...to keep the water pipes from freezing. 21 years of this. Yeah....brain freeze! Stay warm and cozy!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Keep laughing; it might keep your blood from freezing. Yipes! I don't mind a little bit of cold, (very little) but what you're experiencing right now is downright brutal. Think spring!

      Delete
  11. Sus, I literally laughed out loud at more than one of those -- that was great!

    As for Julie, babe, wow! That cover is absolutely gorgeous! I really, really like it and, I have to say, the blurb has my curiosity piqued. Not just what it conveys but how it's written. Sometimes you just know -- through the intangibles -- that you're in capable hands. Very well done.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Super! It's always good to start the day with a laugh or two. (Helps keep ya warm.)

      Delete
  12. "My friend chipped a tooth on her soup" that one made me literally laugh out loud. It's going to be 22 for the high here today. I love winter and the cold weather but I'm definitely in the minority.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The cold is relative. I like a nice brisk cold... but don't want any part of anything below freezing. Unless it's actually, ya know, in my freezer.

      Delete
  13. Loved the funnies, Susan. And, yes, we had a few days of coldness here in MS, where the cars were layered in ice. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi-ya, Linda! Good to see ya back again. We've had a couple bouts of cold weather, (by Atlanta's standards) but no heavy icing. That's not usual for your area, either, is it? Hang in there. It'll be spring before we know it.

      Delete
  14. I'm in the Pocono Mountains on a ski trip with my family, and after two days with temps near 40, it's taken a downward turn. VERY cold out here today!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, but if you're in the Poconos skiing, you actually want cold, right? I mean, you're actually seeking it out! Yipes. Hope you have a lot of fun out there on the slopes. I'll just wait back here in the lodge by the fire... sipping a hot toddy.

      Delete
  15. Thank you for sharing this, Susan! I knew you would come up with something fun and you didn't disappoint LOL. I love the polar bears and especially the last pic LOL. Thanks so much!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Hi Susan
    Cold weather is never a real subject in Montana. It's like what Forest Gump says.... It just happens. Last winter was especially warm and you could hear the complaints up to Alaska. I like the comparisons with the Finnish. I know they are a sturdy group. We used to have a cabin in Northern Mn and neighbor to a Finnish community. We all had saunas but they taught us to afterward run outside and roll in the snow to close the pores. Yay, I could do it. Loved the eating in a greasy spoon just for the heartburn.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You guys in Montana INVENTED cold weather didn't ya? I don't know about that rolling in the snow after getting out of a sauna, although I know a lot of (hearty) people do it. Closing the pores in one thing, but I'm afraid I'd leave a finger or two out there lying in the snow. (Just kidding.)

      Delete
  17. I'm absolutely freezing although I'm inside, wearing a fuzzy pink robe over three sweaters and two pairs of sweat pants and six pairs of socks. We're down to 61 today. hahahahahaha -- FLORIDA!

    Love,
    Janie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Smarty pants! You had me going for a second there.

      Delete
  18. 25 below zero in MN today!!! I didn't leave the house. :-) Starbucks on a stick....I am surprised the MN State Fair hasn't tried that yet, everything is on a stick. Off to do more Spring daydreaming....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Holy moley! Sounds like the perfect time to stay inside and read a book. Or drink hot chocolate. Anything but step outside. It'd be like what our son said about a brutally cold snap when he was going to college in Chicago. He said when he stepped outside, he could feel the hair in his nose freeze. Not MY idea of fun.

      Delete
  19. Susan, I remembered seeing a town called Hell on that old '50s tv show "I Search For Adventure" that really did freeze over, so I looked it up:
    Hell is a village in the Lånke area of the municipality of Stjørdal in Nord-Trøndelag county, Norway.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A veritable font of information! Thanks. That kind of stuff is so cool... er, cold?

      Chill, dude.

      Delete
  20. Julie Flanders' book sounds very intriguing!

    Loved all the cold jokes; I knew the ones with the Finns, except it had Buffalonians instead of Finns.

    I'm going to Buffalo the end of this month (my annual quick trip for granddaughters birthdays). My husband calls this my annual reminder trip why we live in Florida.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmm, Buffalo in January, huh? Maybe you should consider visiting in June for her HALF-birthday.

      Delete
  21. i love love the pictures, so funny. this is the third time i've seen cover reveal and it is sooooo good!! new follower, hi!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi, Tammy. Thanks so much for stopping by and for signing on as a new follower. I do appreciate it. Welcome aboard! Yes, Julie's book looks like it's really gonna be a good one, doesn't it? I'll be dropping by your blog asap... so put the kettle on...

      Delete
  22. I wouldn't mind a bit of winter chill to ice over this horrible hot summer I'm experiencing here in Oz... ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Too bad we can't control the outside thermostat, huh? I know you've been sweltering. Give us a few months, and the tables will be turned. You'll be shivering, and we'll be cranking up the air conditioner.

      Delete
  23. Overall its been far hotter than normal in my section of South Carolina. In fact I've noticed my grass starting to turn green again.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, it's been pretty darned warm here, too. I don't mind the temperatures, but we need some hard freezes to kill some of the bugs.

      Delete
  24. Julie's cover has been everywhere.

    LOL - those cold jokes were great. We will finally be cold tonight - 18 degrees. Not a chance for snow though.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad ya liked the jokes, Sounds like you're happy about the cold weather coming in, too. It was pretty nippy when I went out to pick up the newspaper this morning, but it's supposed to warm up nicely. Okay by me. I don't want snow. I'm ready for daffodils.

      Delete
  25. Love it!!! I was reading your "cold Finns" stuff to my family this morning. They all liked it. Thanks for sharing!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Cool! Glad the "cold Finns" started your day off with a few chuckles.

      Delete
  26. The Finns are like that :)
    We're having 70F temps this week and I saw an 81F day in the forecast. But still chilly at night. But it's not spring yet. We'll probably get another big chill in a couple of weeks.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No, it's not spring yet, but the poor plants around here seem to think otherwise.

      Delete
  27. Congrats to Julie Flanders on her book!

    And yes, I'm cold. We had a burst of warm weather too, but alas it is gone now.

    www.GirlwithaNewLife2.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, like Janie said, it's dipped all the way down to 61 degrees there, huh?

      Delete
  28. Effing cold here too
    Snow, ice it's too cold to have a craft pee on my field...... ( another product of getting older)
    Keep warm dear heart

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So I hear. No problem keeping warm here so far, but you need to stay out of that effing cold as much as you can, so you get rid of that nasty flu for good.

      Delete
  29. Howdy Susan,

    Ah yes and speaking of making an ice of myself, it's so cold over here, in lil ol' England, I went into my freezer to warm up. And Julie's book has been noted over here.

    A most informative and very cool posting, Susan.

    Now I shall get my ice the heck outta' here...not easy typing with mittens on! :)

    Gary

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, from what I've heard, you need some long johns over there about now. Try to stay warm. A certain Jack Russell curled up on your lap should do the trick. Take care.

      Delete
  30. Congrats to Julie. Polar Night looks like a great read.

    It's still warm where I am. Once in a while we get a nice cold front that doesn't last too long.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's the very best kind of cold front... a brief one!

      Delete
  31. it is so cold here...single digits and no snow...not much fun really!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Brrrr, you know it's too cold when the inside of your freezer is warmer than your back yard is.

      Delete