In 1952, Armon M. Sweat, Jr., a member of the Texas House of Representatives, was asked for his opinion of whiskey. Being the true politician that he was, this was his response, as recorded in the Political Archives of Texas:
"If you mean whiskey, the devil's brew, the poison scourge, the bloody monster that defiles innocence, dethrones reason, destroys the home, creates misery and poverty, yea, literally takes the bread from the mouths of little children; if you mean that evil drink that topples Christian men and women from the pinnacles of righteous and gracious living into the bottomless pit of degradation, shame, despair, helplessness, and hopelessness, then, my friend, I am opposed to it with every fiber of my being.
"However, if by whiskey you mean the lubricant of conversation, the philosophic juice, the elixir of life, the liquid that is consumed when good fellows get together, that puts a song in their hearts and the warm glow of contentment in their eyes; if you mean Christmas cheer, the stimulating sip that puts a little spring in the step of an elderly gentleman on a frosty morning; if you mean that drink that enables man to magnify his joy, and to forget life's great tragedies and heartbreaks and sorrow; if you mean that drink the sale of which pours into Texas treasuries untold millions of dollars each year, that provides tender care for our little crippled children, our blind, our deaf, our dumb, our pitifully aged and infirm, to build the finest highways, hospitals, universities, and community colleges in this nation, then my friend, I am absolutely, unequivocally in favor of it.
"This is my position, and as always, I refuse to compromise on matters of principle."
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. [Ben Franklin]
Whoever drinks beer, he is quick to sleep;
Whoever sleeps long, does not sin;
Whoever does not sin, enters Heaven!
Thus, let us drink beer! [Martin Luther]
While Smarticus and I were in Dahlonega, we went to a wine tasting... in broad daylight even. How decadent! I must admit, I'm a lightweight when it comes to alcohol, so those little bitty glasses of delight put a giddy little giddy-up in my step and made the world look even rosier.
Here's to alcohol, the rose-colored glasses of life. [F.Scott Fitzgerald]
While in that wine-tasting shop, I took pictures of some stuff that tickled my funny bone. So this post is gonna take a look at the funny side of drinking. Yeah, like the good politician Sweat from Texas, I know alcohol has a nasty underbelly, but who wants to write... or read... about a nasty underbelly? Far better to share a smile or two.
A cute bar towel, huh? Not that it's at all applicable to any women I know.
I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. [W.C. Fields]
I should've bought some of these napkins, darn it.
I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three, I'm under the table,
After four, I'm under the host.
Another bar towel.
I knew I was drunk. I felt sophisticated and couldn't pronounce it. [anonymous]
Yet another towel.
In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria. [Ben Franklin]
My personal favorite. This sign was next to the cash register.
Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. [Ernest Hemingway]
Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. [Dave Barry]
dribbleglass (Which reminds me, we're overdue for one of those road trip posts, aren't we?)
Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded. Trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or fourteenth. [George Burns]
One must always respect one's beverage.
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. [Henny Youngman]
I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample, it had an olive in it. [Rodney Dangerfield]
Don't try to join the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms. It turns out they're apparently against all three. [Wiley Post]
Wine is sunlight, held together by water. [Galileo]
The mouth of a perfectly happy man is filled with beer. [Ancient Egyptian proverb, circa 2200 B.C.!!!]
The following video is just over nine minutes long, which may be longer than you want to hang around. No problem. But if you have time, I think you'll get a kick out of Bill Cosby's 30+ year-old take on drinking...
And one final clip. A short one, which I could hardly believe I found. This is one of the folk songs my cousin Phyllis and I used to sing when we were teenagers. Anybody else ever hear of it before?
Okay, that's it for now. Until next time, take care of yourselves. And each other.