Tuesday, December 10, 2013

No Skirting the Issue

Thought for the day: Yer bum's out the windae.  [Scottish slang for, You're talking rubbish.]


My bum isn't out the windae when I say I love this picture of our daughter and son-in-law. He cuts a mighty fine figure in his kilt, doesn't he? And their poses? Priceless.





Aye, 'tis no secret that there's something charmin' about a Scotsman sportin' a kilt... no matter how coy he may be about what he's wearing under it. (i.e. She: What's worn under your kilt? He: Nothing, lass. It all works just fine.) Indeed,  the lads seem to enjoy perpetuating the mystery. But, guess what? Thanks to a picture I found on seniorark, I can now provide a definitive answer to that age-old question about kilts and skivvies.








OH, laddies! And a fine cheeky revelation it is!










I shared the following video with you once before, but now that the truth has been laid bare once and for all, I believe this auspicious occasion calls for an encore.


Gee I don't know why, but for absolutely no reason at all, an old Saturday Night Live skit just came to mind. For copyright reasons, I can't share it, but it's a classic skit called... (ahem)...  Schweddy Balls. (If you've never seen it before, you should be able to find a facsimile of it on Youtube.)

This post is a wee bit short, so tell ya what. I'm gonna fill it out with a wee joke:

As the dance was coming to an end, a Scottish lass smiled at a handsome young man and said, "Would it be that ye'd be wantin' to walk me home noo?"

"Aye, it would!" he said. "And how would it be that ye'd be knowin'?"

"Oh, by the twanklin' in yer aie," she said. After a wee walk down the lane, she said, "Oh, and would it be that ye'd be wantin' to hold me hand noo?"

"Aye, it would!" he said. "And how would it be that ye'd be knowin'?"

"Oh, by the twanklin' in yer aie," she said again. A few minutes later, she stopped, and asked, "Oh, and would it be that ye'd be wantin' to kiss me noo?"

"Aye, it would!" he said, moistening his lips. "And how would it be that ye'd be knowin'?"

"Oh, 'tis that twanklin' in yer aie!" After they shared a kiss, she peeked at him through her eyelashes and whispered, "Oh, and would it be that ye'd be wantin' to make love to me noo?"

"Aye, it would," he said gruffly. "And how might ye be knowin'? By that twanklin' in me aie?"

"Oh nae, lad. By the tiltie in your kiltie."
++++++++++++

By the way, never tell a drunken Scotsman he's wearing a skirt. That just might get ye kilt!

                                Until next time, take care of yourselves. And each other.








87 comments:

  1. Why do Scotsmen always march when they play their bagpipes?
    It's more difficult to hit a moving target!

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  2. I've always loved the bagpipes....the skirts, not so much lol.

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    1. I love well-played bagpipes. (You shoulda heard how I managed to mangle 'em when I was a young girl! OY!)

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  3. Did Scottish military inspection require officers to check their soldiers' hemlines? My mother's people were Scots and would never tell me, so I stopped asking them, oh weeks ago.

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    1. HA! Good point, dude. Length matters. Of the KILT, dude, of the kilt.

      Delete
  4. Haha Susan... gotta love those kilts on those men ;-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aye, they're the bum... oops, I mean the bomb.

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  5. I do love a man in a kilt, my first husband and sons are entitled to wear one if they wish, but they never have. Hubby had Scottish grandparents.
    My favourite part of any parade/pageant out here is the pipes and drums bands with the men in their kilts.
    That video clip is hilarious! First prize....

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    1. I guess some men feel good in a kilt, and some men don't. I can't imagine my husband ever putting one on... then again, he's Polish.

      I'm glad you watched the video. I think it's hilarious, too.

      Delete
  6. In BUGLES AND A TIGER (great book) John Masters tells about going to Sandhurst and then debating what regiment to sign with upon graduation. At the graduation dance he went to the loo and found a Scots officer there relieving himself.

    "Join a Scots regiment, laddie," he said. "The kilt's a grand garment for fornication and diarrhea!"

    Diana at About Myself By Myself

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    Replies
    1. I LOVE that anecdote! Gee, thanks, Diana. I guess you realize that NOW I'm gonna have to find that book so I can read it. Sheesh. (HA!)

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  7. At the college I work at, there was a student walking around campus a couple months back wearing a kilt...we were wondering if maybe it was a fraternity dare!

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    1. Maybe it was... or maybe he was just airing out the boys. (Sorry. That wasn't nice.) Maybe he was showing his colors. There. That sounds better.

      Delete
  8. I used to work with a man who had a kilt (he didn't wear it to work). I asked what a Scotsman wears under his kilt. He said, His socks and shoes. I adore Schweddy Balls. It makes me laugh every time. What a fun post. God bless your sweet heart.

    Love,
    Janie

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    Replies
    1. Yep, that sounds about like a standard answer to the question.

      Cool! I'm glad you like Scwheddy Balls (heh, heh) and you had some fun here. God bless your sweet little heart, too.

      Delete
  9. Not being of Scottish descent, I have never worn a kilt, nor have I ever had an inclination. I like to keep the, um... ship in order, so to speak -- no lose marbles on the deck. I was the kids tucked safely into their beds. I like the eggs snuggled into their carton. I want the horses kept in their corral, not scampering recklessly around the pasture...

    Absolutely do not want the bells a'chimin' with every step.

    But that's just my personal preference.

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    1. HA! I get the picture. You painted it beautifully, and made me laugh, to boot. (You've gotta get an A-plus for this comment!)

      Delete
    2. Well, thanks! And it's good to know you weren't grading on spelling. That should be

      -- "loose" instead of "lose"
      -- "want the kids" not "was the kids"

      Sheesh...

      ;^)

      Delete
  10. Great picture of your daughter and son-in-law! I do love a man in a kilt. *sigh*

    BTW, thanks so much for your kind review of Quick Fix on Amazon. Much appreciated. :)

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    1. Thanks. Aye, me, too.

      My pleasure. I'm sorry it took me so long to copy the Goodreads review onto Amazon. (I forgot!)

      Delete
  11. Chris's response made me laugh out loud! Lovely pic of your daughter and her hubby

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    1. Yeah, Chris' comment has to be one of the best comments ever!

      Thanks. That picture makes me smile every time I look at it.

      Delete
  12. A delightful post and the picture of you daughter and son-in-law is great.
    A man in a kilt is a lovely sight to see.

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    1. Thanks, Jeanie. I'm glad you liked it. And aye, a lovely sight to see, but I'd just as soon the wind not be blowing...

      Delete
  13. Well, I'm a mutt: Irish, German, a li'l bit of American Indian (Mohawk), and... Scottish.

    But the whole kilt thing? Sorry. I find it really "icky" in the 21st Century. I mean, why stop with the kilt? Hell, just have the whole operation done, Glen. Glenda? Whatever...

    ~ D-FensDogg
    'Loyal American Underground'

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    1. I suppose I'm a mutt, too, but I'm first generation American on my father's side. He emigrated from Scotland. (So ye stepped in it, lad!)

      You've got it all wrong about the kilt. You see, clothes don't make the man, and a manly man in a kilt looks even manlier. Honest!

      By the way, our son-in-law doesn't wear a kilt when he plays a gig or tends bar. Just at his clan reunion, which is where the photo was taken.

      Delete
    2. I said it before. I says it again: "ICKY!"

      Youse womens can believe what ya wants,
      but "real men" know "ICKY!" when they sees it.

      The first time Man listened to Woman, he followed her example and bit into the apple. It's been nuttin' but skirts-- er, excuse me... I mean, "kilts"... It's been nuttin' but "kilts" for men since then.

      I may have to complete the "skirt's" 'Honey-Do' list, but I'll be damned if I'm gonna wear the "skirt's" clothing too!!!

      [*By all means, forward this to any skirt-wearing Scottish man you know!*]

      ~ D-FensDogg
      'Loyal American Underground'

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    3. Got it! You aren't secure enough in your masculinity to risk wearing a kilt... but you don't mind letting a female order you around. I see. Well, if nothing else, you've got the Scottish "dour" down quite well. HA!

      Delete
    4. Wow! It's almost as if you can read my mind almost.

      ~ D-FensDogg
      'Loyal American Underground'

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    5. Oh, SUSAN(NA)... one last thing.

      I wasn't aware of any Scottish "dour", but I certainly know about the Irishman's "Sense O'Tragedy".

      A lot of years ago, a friend sent me the following quote. It may (or may not) have originated with Shaw (I hate Shaw, by the way) but I've repeated it many times over the years and I think you will appreciate it too:

      "Irishmen have a keen sense of tragedy
      to sustain them in times of joy."


      Classic stuffs there, and containing 80-proof Irish blood myself, I totally get that.

      ~ D-FensDogg
      'Loyal American Underground'

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    6. That quote is fantastic. I know some people like that, too. When they can see the light at the end of the tunnel, they start shooting at it to put it out.

      Only 80 proof?

      Delete
  14. My husband is a carpenter and he showed me some work attire he found online recently. One item was a work kilt. He and my son (who are partners in their business) decided they aren't quite ready for that particular item just yet.

    Have a great week!

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    1. Hmmm, not sure about a work kilt. I guess it depends on the work.

      You have a great week, too!

      Delete
  15. Love the schweddy balls - who's singing it? (He sounds more Canadian than Scottish!)

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    1. Well, the schweddy balls video doesn't have any singing on it; it's just really cornball humor... slightly off-color. The Drunken Scotsmen song is sung by the Irish Rovers. Catchy, isn't it?

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  16. Ya gotta love those kilt wearers. I did. My husband was Scottish and proud of his kilt. I couldn't hear the song because of the loud machines in my house..... my post explains. Oh, what a life we lead..... ta dum...

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    1. Especially because your husband wore a kilt, I hope you can come back later to listen to that song. I think you'll love it.

      Now, I'd better go see what kind of machines are making noise at your house...

      Delete
  17. Hmmmm can't say I'm a fan
    Some of them you can tell never had a tan
    Oh that I do not need to see
    Plus damn bagpipes annoy me

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    1. Not all men are built
      To be wearing a kilt,
      But that's quite okay...
      Stick with jeans at your bay.

      Delete
  18. I tend to agree with Pat's sentiments (above).

    Why are so few kilts worn here in Texas? Because the wind is extremely strong. The few brave dudes who wear kilts are compelled to sew lead in the hems to keep them down.

    So, why do Scottsmen wear kilts?

    Because the sound of zippers scare the sheep away.

    (Think about that one carefully. If you don't have a dirty mind, you won't get it).

    This could possibly be my worst comment ever......

    ReplyDelete
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    1. You live and learn. I was brought up to believe it was New Zilland where men were men and sheep were nervous.

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    2. Sue, I believe good-looking sheep all over the world should keep their eyes open.

      Jon, I think you're right about the blowing wind in your part of Texas being the reason so few men there wear kilts. They don't want their tender regions to get sand blasted.

      Delete
  19. LOL LOL. Well, thank God we finally have a definitive answer.
    Love the pic of your daughter and her husband, how fun. :)

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    1. See? Don't ever say I never taught you anything. (HA!)

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  20. Bagpipes make me weep. The kilt is harmless, and suits some wonderfully.
    Love the musical interlude. But, drat you, you have created an ear worm.

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    1. The only song played on bagpipes that makes my eyes leak is "Amazing Grace." That one gets me every time.

      HA! That song is reeeeeally infectious, isn't it?

      Delete
  21. "May just get you kilt." Ha! Great joke. But those pics... I know I've seen a lot of bums, but I still cringe. :)

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    1. Thanks! Glad you like my weird sense of humor. I guess I'm weird in another way, too. I think bums are cute as all get-out.

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  22. What fun, Susan ... love the picture of your daughter an SIL ! so the sense of humor doesn't fall tooooo far from the source... lol

    I like bagpipe music ... have gone to a few festivals ... gives mes chills

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    1. With Smarticus and me as parents, our poor kids didn't have much choice but to have a sense of humor.

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  23. hahahahahaha...
    much to finish this week but after that I am making The Square Ones, Kilts for their Christmas gift.... not sure how long they will stay on, hopefully for at lest one photo. And we do know what THEY are wearing under their kilts.

    cheers, parsnip

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    1. Oh, fantastic! I can hardly wait to see THOSE pictures! Tams, too, right?

      Cheers!

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    2. welllllllllllllll.... lets not get dreams of grandeur. But it is a good idea.
      Watson does wear a driving cap and fhehamish has been known to wear a Christmas Tree so... who knows ?

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    3. When I was a young girl, I had a couple little Scottish terrier toys. They were wearing tams, and they had magnets on their feet, so I could put them on the metal-topped table, and hold another magnet under the table to make the dogs move.Now, I'm not saying your dogs should have magnets on their feet, but the tams sure would look cute!

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  24. Hubby and I, and the kids for that matter, all have kilts. We wear them (with undergarments) the the local Scottish festival each year. If I'm lucky I get hubby to put it on a few other times too. There is something about a man in a kilt.

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    1. Very cool! (Well, not as cool as it'd be if you skipped the undergarments. HA!) Yes, I agree. Not just any many can pull off wearing a kilt, though. It takes a certain attitude. Self-confidence.

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  25. Great post - and I don't know what made me laugh more, your post, or all the comments!

    I had a co-worker in South Carolina who wore a kilt one day to work. Good thing I always carry a camera - I took his picture and put it in the company newsletter.

    A Scots boy came home from school and told his mother he had been given a part in the school play. "Wonderful," says the mother, "What part is it?" The boy says "I play the part of the Scottish husband!" The mother scowls and says: "Go back and tell your teacher you want a speaking part."

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    1. Thanks. Yeah, a bunch of really smart cookies hang out here, and they come up with some super comments. (That includes you!)

      Good one!

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  26. Cute picture of your daughter, and son-in-law! I've seen that SNL skit with Alec Baldwin, but I like the " tiltie in the kiltie" better! Glad there was a nice breeze for the men's bagpipes!

    Julie

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    1. Well, I'm glad you like my "tiltie in the kiltie" joke. After a couple glasses of wine, I can tell it with quite the brogue.

      Aye!

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  27. My goodness, that is a CHEEKY revelation in the marching Scottsmen. I cannot object at all, though!

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  28. I don't think I've ever seen a man in a kilt in person, just through pictures. I do like the way they look.

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    1. Yeah, me, too. Just think Mel Gibson in "Braveheart"...

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  29. Ha! I've always wondered it myself, and now we all know the truth.

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  30. And of course there's the story of the Scottsman who, having over indulged, passed out against the pub wall. To lassies passing couldn't resist stopping for a peek to see if it was true and, indeed, found that it was. They decided to play a trick on the old highlander by tying a ribbon to his pride and joy. When finally he awoke he leaned against a tree to take a leak and upon discovering the ribbon proclaimed, " I dinna know where ya been laddie, but I see ya took first prize!"

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    1. Indeed! That's from "The Drunken Scotsmen" by the Irish Rovers... the song in the video. HA! (Great minds think alike.)

      Delete
  31. Dear Susan,
    a funny post and great photo - I'm talking of the one taken from behind...! Two years ago I spent a month in utterly lovely Edinburgh, which revealed many of its beautiful secrets, and made me fall in love with bagpipes.

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    1. Dear Britta,

      Thank you. I'm glad you liked it. Oh, I'd love to visit Edinburgh some day. That's where my father was born.

      Delete
    2. Then you absolutely must see it. Even without such a terrific reason it is an absolute dream-town!

      Delete
  32. Fantastic photos! The cheeky revelation is awesome the man has some nice lean muscle under his kilt.:)

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  33. We saw men in kilts on a trip we took once, and it was downright cold outside so I was a bit surprised!! I'm not surprised there's a cheeky revelation to be found either. ;)

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    1. Cold weather and kilts (or skirts) don't go together very well. I don't suppose the men were wearing pantyhose... (shades of Joe Namath)

      Delete
  34. Ha! I'm laughing not just because this is a very amusing post but also because of the synchronicity. I came to your blog as Jethro Tull came on my laptop's speakers. :-) "Up to Me". Beautiful post with a Scottish blues and prog rock band in the background.

    Greetings from London.

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    1. Dontcha know? I planned that! Yeah, right...

      Greetings back atcha from Atlanta.

      Delete
  35. Laughing here! Scotland's a lot of fun (but never arrive on a Sunday because it's too dead for words). Once, we visited the Wee Cambre islands and, after securing a room at Mrs. McGilicuty's B&B, walked to the nearby pub, next to the PO and a mercantile store. Long bubbly story short: Around 0200, as we returned to our B&B, this guy and his son who'd been at our bubbly table, joined us. Come to find out, they was Mrs. M's hub and son. She was so ticked at him, she wouldn't let any of us into the house for an hour. Hmmm, Scotland - can't help but love the place. (And we saw Mrs. M. in a feature about Scotland on the Discovery Channel a few months ago. She looked as formidable as ever, bless her heart -- as she cooked the most amazing breakfast ever the next morning for all of us.)

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    1. Great story. I know I'd love it there.

      Seems to me, on the original "I Love Lucy" show from the '50s, McGillacutty was Lucy's maiden name. (Could be wrong, though.)

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  36. Hi Susan .. gosh you're good at telling said stories .. love the kilts .. and what a fun video .. Schweddy Balls blocked here! typical ...

    Diana's comment about the book Bugles and TIgers sounds about right .. while Kittie's tale adds to the mix ..

    Cheers Hilary

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    1. I'm glad you liked the fun song in the video, but sorry the other one was blocked there. Bummer.

      Cheers!

      Delete