Friday, February 14, 2014

Love is in the Air

Thought for the day:  If love had a scent, I don't think it would smell like chocolate and roses. I think it'd smell more like baby powder and pot roast. 


Happy Valentine's Day, y'all. Got big plans for the day? No telling what Smarticus and I will be doing, but we'll probably be out and about somewhere, so I won't be Jill-on-the-spot about responding to comments today. Maybe not even until Monday.

Anyhow, so how do you like my love monkey? I'm not talking about Smarticus; I'm talking about that cute little stuffed monkey in the picture, which he gave me for Valentine's Day a few years ago. If you squeeze his belly, he gives a wolf whistle, and says in a dirty ol' man kinda voice, I go bananas over you!  Again, I'm talking about the monkey, not Smarticus, although come to think of it, it's just the sort of thing he'd say. That's why it's such a perfect gift. Forget about jewelry and furs, and all that jazz. A gift that makes me laugh wins me over every time.



Okay, so chocolate ain't bad, either. After all, a box of candy is never the wrong size, right? Although it came close to being too large one year. Smarticus bought me a box of chocolates big enough to cover the entire top of the coffee table. I kid you not. Whew! Talk about a LOT of candy! It took me almost two whole hours to eat it all. (Just kidding. It took more like three.)

I'll never forget some of the romantic cards and gifts Smarticus has given me over the years. (sigh) We were all of twelve or thirteen the very first time he wrote a poem (just for me!) in my autograph book. It went like this: Roses are red; violets are blue. You've got a shape like a B-52. I mean, doesn't that send shivers of sheer delight up and down your spine?

We weren't much older that that when he extended a lovely decorated box toward me, smiled seductively, and told me to open it. When I did, I found a barf-worthy severed finger lying atop a fluffy bed of cotton. It was his finger, of course, stuck through a hole in the box bottom and doctored up to look as disgusting as he could make it. Yeah, I know. Smartius was a bit of a farticus in those days.

But, what can I say? I married him anyway. How could I not? He's a gen-u-ine original, and even after all these years, he still knows how to make me laugh, and he still knows how to make my heart sing.


Talking about original, have you ever wondered who St. Valentine was and why he's associated with a feast day devoted to love? Why we associate this day with the color red... with red roses in particular... and why we exchange Valentines?

Well, then, you've come to the right place.

Our man Valentine was a priest in Rome during the reign of Claudius the Cruel, an emperor with an unholy affinity for declaring war. In fact, this dude's wars were so frequent and so unpopular, it got to where very few men were joining the military. The emperor, who was evidently just as stupid as he was cruel, decided the only reason men weren't rushing to fight his wonderful wars was because they were too darned attached to their wives and family. So he came up with a solution. He banned marriages.

But fear not. Our hero priest continued to perform marriage ceremonies in secret. That is, until the mean ol' emperor found out about it, and had him killed. By beating, stoning, and then beheading. (Talk about overkill.) Valentine was killed on February 14, 270.

Legend has it that he left a special note for the jailer's daughter, and signed it... from your Valentine. 

So, why the color red, you ask? For obvious reasons, blood red is the color of martyrs. And thanks to the martyred St. Valentine... it also became the color of love. Red roses represent Venus, the goddess of love. And Valentine himself sent the first Valentine card. St. Valentine's feast day was established in 496, but it didn't become recognized as a lovers' holiday and big day of romance until ten centuries later, when popular belief held that the fourteenth of February marked the start of mating season for birds.



So, if you consider Valentine's Day to be for the birds... you aren't entirely wrong.









At right is an example of a 1909 Valentine's Day card, which I found on Wikipedia. As a young girl, I remember buying big fancy cards for my mother... complete with scented stuffed satin hearts and lace around the edges... for the exorbitant price of thirty-five cents. My sweet Smarticus has sent me a bunch of beautiful cards over the years, but he'd still probably be more comfortable with one that said: Roses are red; violets are blue. Sugar is sweet, and so are you... The roses are wilting; the violets are dead. The sugar bowl's empty, and so is your head.

Just kidding. He's actually quite the romantic. (But I sure am glad he didn't know about St. Valentine losing his head over love when we were kids. The finger was bad enough.)

 How about some of these for the worst Valentine's Day gifts ever:







THIS wouldn't be a very nice Valentine's Day gift, either... especially if it came on the heels of a box of chocolates as big as the coffee table. No, just kidding. This isn't a gift from Smarticus. (It's actually one of our 1969 wedding gifts. Yep! Still got it!) But I'm just saying, it's not a very sentimental gift. It's right up there with giving your honey a bottle of diet pills, or a pair of slacks with wide load printed on the seat. 


Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never met.

Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in muddy boots.

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

Love doesn't make the world go 'round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile. [Franklin P. Jones]

You can't blame gravity for falling in love.  [Albert Einstein]


Lots of things are considered aphrodisiacs... like big red juicy strawberries, and rich dark chocolate... or better yet, big red juicy strawberries dipped in rich dark chocolate...

Um, where was I?

Oh, yeah. I wanted to tell you guys about one of the best aphrodisiacs of all time. Wanta put your lady love in the mood? Do the dinner dishes. I tell ya, nothing is as sexy to a woman as seeing her man tackling a load of dishes  while she's in the easy chair with her feet propped up... eating strawberries dipped in chocolate. Or if ya reeeeeally want to make her weak in the knees... clean the toilet bowl. 

Put a lotta love in your heart


Anyhow, whether you celebrate in a small way, or whether you go reeeally BIG...

Happy Valentine's Day, y'all. But wouldn't it be nice if we celebrated love...  every day?







                  For all you fans of The Big Bang Theory, here's a video I think you'll enjoy:


                                        Until next time, take care of yourselves. And each other.


Never go to bed mad--- stay up and fight.  [Phyllis Diller]

88 comments:

  1. If I recall correctly, you have been married like a whole year longer than I have. Wow! What's your secret? Happy Valentine's Day to you both!

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    1. Well, Smarticus always says the secret lies in two little words: "Yes.dear." (Whether he means them or not.)

      I hope you guys had a wonderful Valentine's Day, too.

      Delete
  2. Happy Valentine's Day - may all of your days be filled with love and laughter. Which I am sure they are.

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    1. Thanks. I hope you had a good one, too. I think our days are as filled with love and laughter as we make them. In a lot of ways, it's a conscious decision.

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  3. A scale would definitely be the worst gift! Thanks for sharing the history of St. Valentine. It's sad that he died so tragically. There was a news story announcing that a mayor in Georgia was canceling Valentine's Day due to the snowstorm. Florists and other services were having difficulty in making deliveries. I hope that this doesn't effect you, and your "love monkey." Happy Valentine's Day!

    Julie

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    1. That story about the "cancelled Valentine's Day" was a joke that took on a mind of its own. The Oconee county sheriff's department put a tongue-in-cheek message on their facebook page, saying something like because of the icy roads, the local men didn't have to go out to buy flowers or candy, because Valentine's Day was called off. I'd heard that the story went viral online, but had no idea it was making the broadcast news in other towns, too. That's too funny.

      I hope you had a fantabulous chocolate-filled Valentine's Day.

      Delete
  4. If love had a scent it would be vanilla.
    I LOVE Howard's song to Bernadette.

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    1. Hmmmm, yeah, really good vanilla.

      Me, too. It always makes me tear up a little.

      Delete
  5. Susan... funny that I never really knew the Valentine's story... it is interesting to hear the origin of holidays...

    I think love is great but you certainly need a lot of laughter to get through life too... it is what will help you get through the rough times.

    Happy Valentine's day... I hope it was a fun day for you :)

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    1. Yep, love and laughter definitely go together,

      Thanks! I hope you had a fun day, too.

      Delete
  6. Thanks for introducing me to the story of the original St. Valentine - - I had no idea. He certainly had a heroic heart (not to mention a romantic one). It's a shame that he came to such a tragic end.

    I luv the Love monkey - - - and I would love a coffee table-sized box of chocolates even more. I'll let you in on a secret - -

    just between you & me, nobody else will know - -

    I bought a box of Valentine candy this week and I'm going to eat it all by myself. It's a gift to me. Am I unwholsomely selfish, or what??

    Have a wonderful Valentine's Day!

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    1. I absolutely LOVE your secret. Not selfish at all. You've gotta be good to yourself, cowboy!

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  7. Dear Susan,
    you really enlightened me about Valentine's day, thank you! In Germany it is a relatively new feast (as Halloween) - and often thought of as the copy invented by merchands. As I see it, here only lovers send each other a card or gift. I agree with you:
    "Forget about jewelry and furs, and all that jazz. A gift that makes me laugh wins me over every time."
    Though, come to think of it: why not have the cake and eat it :-) ?

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    1. Dear Britta,

      You're right! Having your cake and eating it too would be a fun (and fattening) approach, too. Better yet, I'd rather have and eat chocolate candy. I asked my hubby not to get me any candy this year, but he gave me some anyway, and said it was from our cats. Well, naturally, I had to EAT it. Wouldn't want to hurt their feelings... they're so sensitive...

      Delete
  8. Hey, Miss Susan! Looks like you know how to celebrate Valentine's Day. Happy V.Day to you, too. Those chocolates look mighty good to me. :) I'm glad you have Smarticus to celebrate with. The little monkey is adorable. My sister in law who is 94 has one of those fur covered weighing scales, too. I get to see her every spring when I go back to Tennessee to visit. See you later. Love, your friend, Ruby

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    1. Hi, dear Ruby! It's good to hear from you again. I'm crushed. You mean ours isn't the last fur-covered scale remaining in the world? HA!

      Delete
  9. Happy Valentine's Day. I remember learning last year for the first time about St. Valentine's and his fate. He died for love in every sense of the word!

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    1. I hope you and your lady had a wonderful Valentine's Day.

      Ya caught me! I reran the part about St. Valentine.

      Delete
  10. Dear Susan
    Sweet and funny. Giving a bottle of diet pills???? Good one. When I lived in Florida I knew a gal whose boy friend gave her new breast implants for her birthday. (She kept increasing the size and they were beginning to look like watermellons) She was jumping for joy over that present.

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    1. HA! That's too funny. She'd better not have done too much jumping for joy. Being whopped in the face with those things could get downright painful. On the plus side, she had her own built-in flotation devices...

      Delete
  11. My mother sent my dad the same card every year. It was a picture of a chicken with one feather. When opened up, it said, "I may not be a spring chicken, but I'm still game". Every year, my dear dad would smile and say "Thank you, dear", then kiss my mom. The best thing about love is having someone to laugh with.

    You and Smarticus have found the formula for "happily ever after" severed finger gift and all.

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    1. I love that story about your parents. It sounds like they had something very special. (Besides you, I mean...)

      Delete
  12. I love hearing about the worst ever Valentines Day gifts but this is the first time I have heard about someone getting a finger. :)
    I got just what I wanted...a nicely loaded Starbucks card.
    Happy Valentines Day.

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    1. Not that you mention it, he DID "give me the finger"...

      I'm glad you got what you wanted. Me, too.

      Delete
  13. Ha! My brothers and I did that severed-finger trick to our parents when we were little. Our mother was not amused. *grin*

    You and Smarticus are obviously meant for each other. :)

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    1. HA! Oh, I'll bet your mother was secretly amused.

      Thanks. We think so. (We crack each other up.)

      Delete
  14. >>... If love had a scent, I don't think it would smell like chocolate and roses. I think it'd smell more like baby powder and pot roast.

    I wasn't sure what to get my sweetie for Valentines Day. After much deliberation I finally settled on a dozen baby powdered-roses and a chocolate covered pot roast.

    She said, "Oh, Honey, you SHOULDN'T have!"

    ~ D-FensDogg
    'Loyal American Underground'

    POSTSCRIPT: I still remember some of those old Valentine Cards we used to give out to each other in elementary school. My favorite - the all-time classic - showed two peas in a pod and the saying went: "Peas Be My Podner".

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    1. Smart aleck. The baby powder-scented roses would be fine, but don't even joke about messing with chocolate like that...

      I remember those cards, too. Each of us decorated a shoe box as a Valentine-y mailbox to sit on our desk. Even then, I got the biggest kick out of the punny ones.

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  15. Every time I hear that little song it just melts my heart......

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    1. Yeah, me, too. Almost makes me wanta change my name...

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  16. Twelve or thirteen! Wow, you guys were seriously childhood sweethearts. You don't hear that story very often anymore, how wonderful! Although having a childhood sweetheart usually does involve a faux severed finger or two.

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    1. Well, we weren't really sweethearts at twelve or thirteen... just good friends. For us, that was the perfect place to start.

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  17. I must agree with Linda; you and Smarticus are perfect for each other :)

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  18. A friend of mine does stand-up comedy, and he has a great bit about how you can tell the age of a relationship by how long the man spends in the Hallmark aisle. I will not do it justice in this comment, but the following sums it up:

    Newlyweds-man agonizes over every card

    Young marrieds)-man may read a few, then grabs one

    Married a long time-man does not slow down or look when walking by the cards, just grabs one

    He did not mention at what point the man just forgets its Valentine Day at all!

    Hope you have a happy one!

    Larry

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    1. Your friend's stand-up routine must get a lot of laughs. There's a lot of truth in what he says about men and greeting cards. Most men, anyhow. My hubby's more likely to pick two, simply because he can't decide which he likes best.

      It was a happy one! Thanks.

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  19. haha way to give the finger
    A memory that will sure linger

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    1. Yeah, he started with a finger,
      But then he took my hand;
      Now what really lingers
      Are our simple gold bands.

      Delete
  20. Your posts are always fun and informative.

    I hope that you and Smarticus make the most of this day and he does something outrageously romantic so you have a follow-up post!

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    1. Thanks!

      Oh yeah, definitely romantic, but no follow-up This old gal doesn't kiss and tell.

      Delete
  21. Also, I dedicated something to you on the HERE'S TO YOU post. Hope you like it....

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  22. Phyllis Diller was really funny. :)

    I love strawberries, but not with dark chocolate. I like 'em with feta, almonds, olive oil, darling buds and pepper. Sound weird? Try it before you knock it!

    Happy V-day, my dear.

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    1. Yes, she was. So was the sound of her laughter.

      Not gonna knock it, but just between you and me, I don't even know what darling buds are. (I could probably call my grandchildren that, though...)

      Thanks. I hope you had a happy V-day, too.

      Delete
  23. And a very Happy Valentines Day to you too!

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    1. Thanks, Wendy. I hope you had a good one, too.

      Delete
  24. Your joy and love shine through. I think you two do have Valentine's Day every day. Ray makes me laugh and I think that's key - oh, and I like a card. He's finally figured that out. It's all good. So enjoy your weekend.

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    1. Thanks. Sweet of you to say.

      I hope you and Ray had a super Valentine's Day, too.

      Delete
  25. I love The Big Bang theory song. I recently started watching the first season on DVD, thanks to recommendations from friends. It's hilarious. Without Willy Dunne Wooters, I'm mass without the speed of light squared.

    Love,
    Janie

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    1. I forgot to say: therefore, no energy.

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    2. Good one!

      I'm glad you like "Big Bang", too. It's one of our favorite shows.

      Delete
  26. Happy Valentine's Day to you and Smarticus!

    There is no such thing as "too much chocolate" for me. As a matter of fact, I'll be getting some more Valentine's chocolates tomorrow. When it's half off, you can buy twice as much!

    And this "half off" ... that applies to the calories, too, doesn't it?

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    1. Thanks! I hope you guys had a wonderful Valentine's Day, too.

      If only. If the "half off" applied to the calorie count, I'd ALWAYS have gobs of chocolates around. Trouble is, I have very little self-control when it comes to chocolate. If it's in the house, there's no rest in my butt until I eat it all... and enlarge my butt in the process.

      Delete
  27. What an extraordinary coincidence that St Val should be beheaded (et al) on St Valentines Day; Spooky. Next they'll be telling us that Mohammed Ali has something to do with Boxing Day.

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  28. Baby powder! I'd completely forgot about that smell. Happy Valentine to you and your other half! :-) Lovely post.

    Greetings from London.

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    1. Baby powder is like a sweet perfume, isn't it? Or maybe it's just because of the babies who wear it.

      Thanks. Greetings back atcha.

      Delete
  29. Hahahah! Valentine's Day is a memory minefield. I hope you have a photo somewhere of that coffee table Valentine! Now that man's a keeper! :)

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    1. Hey! It's great to see you on Blogger again!

      Believe it or not, we never took a picture of that King Kong-sized box of candy. (I guess I was too busy eating it!) Yeah, he's done A-OK during our 50-year trial period, so I think I'll keep him.

      Delete
  30. Awesome St. Valentine info. I admit to a certain deficiency in my hagiographical knowledge (understatement).

    I spent Valentine's Day reading and prepping for a storm, charging electronics and lining up candles. Not a bad way to go, really, especially since I didn't lose power. Although, I wouldn't have minded a little chocolate. :)

    Haven't checked the statutes, but I'm almost certain giving a scale as a Valentine's Day gift is a prosecutable offense in at least the 48 contiguous states.

    I agree, we should celebrate love every day, and I hope you and Smarticus celebrated in style. There is no greater gift than a smile.

    VR Barkowski

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    1. I'm not sure, but I think chocolate qualifies as an essential part of storm preparations. I hope you went out on the 15th and properly restocked your chocolate cache, and at half price, too!

      Yep, a smile may not cost a cent at the cash register, but its worth is immeasurable.

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  31. A '69 scale. Cool. I wish I kept some of my older stuff.

    Look at all those love birds in these pics. So sweet. Interesting post.

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    1. I probably kept too much of my older stuff...

      Delete
  32. Hi, Susan! I hope you'll consider joining my bloggers' book club. Details are here: http://armchairsquid.blogspot.com/2014/02/the-cephalopod-coffeehouse-february.html

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    1. Hi-ya! I've read some of the great book reviews and recommendations for your book club. Thanks for the invitation; I'll definitely look into it, and will try to join in with y'all next month.

      Delete
  33. Hi Susan - hope you're having a lovely weekend ... I loved my Valentine - from Lenny!! Cheers Hilary

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    1. It's quite an honor to be a GrandBlogmom, you know. How very sweet of Lenny. He must be a very special young man.

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    2. Hiya - Lenny is one special lad ... especially when they come all the way from Georgia land! He writes such wonderful emails too ..

      Cheers H

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  34. Hubby cleared the snow and ice from the driveway the gutters and the roof. Love when he shows care for the property he owns and then gets the work done outside! LOL

    Happy Valentine's Day! just a little late...

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    1. I know what you mean. Every hard-work job he does is a job YOU don't have to do.

      Thanks! I hope you and your hubby had a terrific Valentine's Day, too.

      Delete
  35. I LOVE the love monkey! LOL, best Valentine's present ever. Kudos to Smartacus. :D

    Now I want to smell baby powder and pot roast. Perfect.

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    1. Yeah, Smartacus hit a home run with that love monkey. A grand slam, actually, because it came with chocolates.

      Delete
  36. Thank you for your comment on my blog Susan... I totally agree that forgiveness is for us... I totally believe in forgiveness... I just wish other people could forgive me... it's hard when they don't...

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    1. You have no control over whether someone else will forgive you. All you can do is apologize, and then walk away. Let it go, sweetie, and try to forgive yourself.

      Delete
  37. You nailed it with dishes. If my husband did dishes once (he won't even do them if I'm sick), I'd be running to Victoria's Secret to get the latest update. :) A man who helps around the house...that's romantic. :)

    I hope you had a happy holiday. :)

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    1. I know! And why is it that men don't GET that? What's more, we don't want an insincere long-suffering whined, "Do you want me to help...?" Nope. We want our man to take the sponge out of our hand and take charge! Tell us, "Go sit down and relax, sweetie. I've got this." Oh yeah! Best sweet nothings ever!

      We did. I hope you did, too.

      Delete
  38. the huge panties was the worst one--what a stupid man.

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    1. Yeah, that's a lousy one the deserves some payback... like a jock strap, extra small.

      Delete
  39. This is the perfect post. Gee, I wish I had time to write longer posts, but Ol' Man Time does not permit. I love your blog. I would have gladly taken some of that chocolate off your hands, or shall I say out of your mouth. LOL! Cheers!!

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    1. Ol' Man Time ain't "on your side", eh? I know what you mean. I started out posting six or seven times a week. Now, I'm lucky to squeeze out one.

      Tell ya what, if anybody wants to take chocolate off my hands, they're gonna have to be mighty fast. I swear, that stuff just disappears around me, and I have no idea where it goes... (Yeah, right.)

      Cheers!

      Delete
  40. Great videos - I'm a huge BBT fan. Hope your V-Day was awesome!

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    1. Me, too. I think BBT is the best comedy on TV.

      It was! I hope yours was, too.

      Delete
  41. I hope you punched him in the arm real hard for the B-52 line. I love it, though, and the fact that he gave you a valentine when you were both so young. Very romantic, Susan.

    PS I'm honored and excited about our project. Woot! Woot!

    xoRobyn

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    1. I don't remember punching him on the arm, but I may have. (He deserved it!)

      I'm glad you're onboard. We may have to change the name, though, to old and not-so-old broads. It's gonna be a blast!

      Delete