Friday, March 6, 2015

Poly Ticks

Thought for the day:  No man's good enough to govern another man without the other's consent. [Abraham Lincoln]

[morguefile]
Since the beginning of recorded history, politicians have been both revered and reviled... revered by themselves, and reviled by the rest of us. Heck, even before the start of recorded history, I'll betcha a handful of cave men considered themselves to be in charge, while the rest of 'em went along, simply because they didn't give a jolly damn who did the leading.

Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber.  [Plato]


[morguefile]


I dunno. Maybe that's how so many clowns end up in office. Maybe voters just don't care.

What spurred this head-scratching line of thought is the recent re-election of a fella named Joseph D. Morrissey. This guy has such a long history of getting into fistfights, being in contempt of court, and getting thrown in jail, his nickname is Fighting Joe, and because of his habitual unethical and inappropriate behavior, he lost his license to practice law more than a decade ago. In 1992, voters had no problem electing him when he was in jail, so I guess they figured it was no big deal to do it again.  Yep, he is currently serving time for contributing to the delinquency of a minor (for having sex with a seventeen-year-old employee), but courtesy of a work-release program, the scoundrel is spending his days serving in Virginia's General Assembly, and his nights cooling his heels in the slammer.

[morguefile]
Now, I don't mean to pick on the voters in Virginia. It isn't as though that's an isolated case. Nope. Unfortunately, voters all over the country seem to have no problem putting ethically-challenged people in office... over and over again. Are our choices that bad that a mayor who's been put in jail for cocaine use can get re-elected as soon as he's freed? To show how intelligent and capable that D.C. mayor (Marion Barry) was, he actually asked, What right does Congress have to go around making laws just because they deem it necessary? 

Are our choices that bad that a politician who's repeatedly lied to the public, cheated on his family, and used taxpayer money to fly off to South America to be with his mistress is later forgiven, not by his wife, who divorced him, but by the voters, who accepted his mea culpa and happily put him back in office?

Georgia's no different. Most voters don't even raise an eyebrow about the shady ethics and even shadier backroom deals conducted by the good ol' boys who run our state. Business as usual, I guess.

Remember Gary Hart? When he was trying to capture the Democratic nomination for president, he was captured on film with a very curvaceous young lady... to whom he was not married, if ya get my drift. Know what he said? The attractive lady whom I had only recently been introduced to dropped into my lap – I chose not to dump her off. (What a gentleman!)

At least, he had the decency to drop out of the running and into obscurity. Can't say as much for plenty of other politicians, who continue to get away with improprieties out the wazoo. Somehow, I don't think Ted Kennedy was even offended by his nickname: Tyrannosaurus Sex. Massachusetts voters must not have been offended by his drunkenness and womanizing, either. They elected him to term after term, even after a pregnant young lady died in his car when he drove off a bridge in the summer of 1969. He swam to safety.

So what qualifies someone for political office these day? Evidently, it's not ethics, and I don't think it's brains, either. Must be MONEY, and lots of it. Name recognition helps, too. Voters seem to mark the ballot for the person they kinda sorta remember hearing something about... even if they can't remember what it was they heard...

Sigh.

Oh well, I got that off my chest. Now let's make fun of some of our past politicians, shall we? (They make it soooooo easy.)


In the category of I don't think this is what they meant to say:

  • This President is going to lead us out of this recovery.  [Dan Quayle] 
  • A zebra does not change its spots.  [Al Gore] 
  • It's no exaggeration to say that the undecided could go one way or another. [George Bush, Sr.] 
  • Rarely is the question asked "Is our children learning?"  [George W Bush]
  • That low down scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass - and I'm just the one to do it! [Texan Congressional candidate]
  • Traditionally, most of our imports come from overseas. [Australian minister Keppel Enderby] 
  • Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we. [George W. Bush] 
  • Things are more like they are now, than they ever were before. [Dwight D Eisenhower] 
  • If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign!  [George W Bush] 
  • I stand by all the misstatements that I've made. [Dan Quayle]
Ahhh, V.P. Dan Quayle. He deserves a category all to himself. (Bless his heart.)

  • One word sums up probably the responsibility of any vice president, and that one word is 'to be prepared'.
  • I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix. 
  • It's wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago. 
  • I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn't study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people. 
  • We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a part of Europe. 
  • The global importance of the Middle East is that it keeps the Far East and the Near East from encroaching on each other. 
  • We're going to have the best-educated American people in the world.
  • I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy - but that could change. 
  • We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur. 
  • The future will be better tomorrow.
Our two Presidents Bush said so many cockamamie things, there have been whole books written about Bushisms. This is what a couple other politicians had to say about them:  He can't help it. He was born with a silver foot in his mouth. [Ann Richards, former Texas governor, about the senior Bush]  If ignorance goes to forty dollars a barrel, I want drilling rights to George Bush's head. [Jim Hightower, former Texas Commissioner of Agriculture, about the younger Bush] 

Oh what the heck, thanks to our colorful politicians, political cartoonists are never lacking for a topic. Talk about job security. The only thing wrong with political jokes is... they keep getting elected.

Political language is designed to make lies sound truthful and murder respectable, and to give an appearance of solidity to pure wind.  [George Orwell]

A politician thinks of the next election – a statesman, of the next generation. [James Freeman Clarke]

Yep, that's what we need. More statesmen, and less politicians. We need more people on the scene like Winston Churchhill. But just wait a minute... before you Brits get all high-and-mighty because your leaders don't get involved in as many scandals as ours here in the upstart colonies, I heard your Prince Charles was recently caught getting down and dirty. Uh-huh. That's right. Way down and dirty. Heh, heh, heh.

Um, never mind. My bad. Turns out he was 250 feet underground to mark the 150th anniversary of London's sewers. 

                          Big deal! Our leaders generate plenty of stink all by themselves.
[source: the lovely Pixel Peeper's blog ]

                                      Until next time, take care of yourselves. And each other.

81 comments:

  1. Susan, this is like finding a forgotten bottle of champagne at the back of the fridge. It's been a tiring day and I'm improved by this post. Must say, though, Ike's quip --"Things are more like they are now than they ever were before"-- sounds lot like the stuff he used to mean to say. People didn't always get his humor. In fact, I'd be delighted to come up with that for 'Trainride". Oh, all I know is, when Truman was in office I couldn't read, then Ike was elected and I could. I'll always like Ike --for that alone even.

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    1. Thanks, dude. I'm glad the post gave you a little lift. (Champagne would have been tastier, though.)

      Actually, now that you mention it, Ike's comment sounds exactly like something you would write on your blog. Go ahead. Use it. He won't mind.

      I liked Ike, too. I wish I still had my old "I Like Ike" pin. Heck, I could sell it, and might even get enough to buy, I dunno, a bottle of champagne? (A cheap one.)

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  2. Funny--but unfortunately true!!

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    1. All we can do is shake our heads and appreciate the humor in the situation.

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  3. Not to mention the number of times that a past person has been elected to public office. I suppose in their favour, they don't lie, take bribes or indulge in unethical behaviour...
    A minor quibble. Kep Enderby has been misspelt. Mind you, as a past person he won't be complaining.
    Our current prime minister once told people that no-one could be a suppository of wisdom. On that occasion he was telling the truth.
    I wish that this post wasn't true. I am very glad that it is funny.

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    1. Sounds like a joke: the only honest politician is a dead one.

      Oops, sorry for the misspelling. That's exactly how his name was spelled on the site where I found that quote. I'll correct it right away. (Thanks!)

      No, no one can be a suppository of wisdom, but they could at least try a little harder not to sound and act like nincompoops.

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  4. So your lovely country is run by convicted criminals, perverts and doofuses?
    Hmmm (*~*)

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  5. We've got more than a few plonkers across the pond, too - and with an election cooking the lies are simmering!

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    1. I reckon every country has more than a few plonkers. It's just too bad so many of them decide to run for office... and worse, WE are foolish enough to elect them.

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  6. As EC said, people who have passed on have sometimes won easily over their opponents. Electing dead people is often the best choice. A quiet politician who stays in his box does no harm.

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    1. What's that old saying? "Dead men tell no lies." Right there, that makes them an appealing alternative.

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  7. you summed it up. I sometimes think we know too much these days and thus the old back room deals can't get worked out, thus leading to total stalemate.. I think politics and government moved along better over a few drinks and not as many tweets. Sigh indeed. Have a great weekend

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    1. Could be. Or maybe we don't know ENOUGH. All we get on the news is spin, and God help anyone who gets info via the all-knowing Internet. Even someone who actively seeks to make an informed decision in the voting booth is taking a leap of faith, largely based on someone else's opinions of the facts.

      You have a super weekend, too.

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  8. Nothing like calling yourself a jackass or stretching one word into three. Politicians for you. The only thing that changes is their smug face, all the same.

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    1. Yeah, those politicians sure make it harder to maintain an optimistic demeanor...

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  9. Susan thank you for this post. Recently I've been wondering what in the world is going on with people? I do not understand how people make the decisions about the politicians they elect. I once had a conversation with the man who truly believed that Marion Berry should be reelected after his cocaine conviction. I just couldn't believe it! I don't know if you've watched a Netflix series House of Cards or not, but I now believe that it's pretty accurate to what is actually happening in our government at all levels. it is highly disturbing! And I love that quote that you included from Plato.

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    1. I think part of the problem is apathy, and the other part is misinformation. There is so much false information and deliberate twisting of the facts going on, even those of us who want to vote responsibly are becoming more apathetic.

      No, I haven't seen that series, because we don't get Netflix, but I've heard a lot of good things about it.

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  10. SUSKI ~
    I'll bet you didn't expect me (of all people) to leave a comment on THIS blog bit, didja? (Cough! Hack! Choke! Expire...)

    Oh, gosh, this was so funny (and sad). But how could it not be when you had so much A-list funny (and sad) material to draw from?

    I could add so many more, as you can imagine. In fact, I own 3 books of George "W" malaprops, bungled sentences, and just plain stupidity that I could go on for hours writing them here. Lucky for you, I won't. I'm going to keep it short and sweet, by adding just a few bonehead statements by politicians:

    "You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test."
    ~ George W. Bush

    "They want the federal government controlling Social Security like it's some kind of federal program."
    ~ George "(W)ish I Had A Brain" Bush

    "For every fatal shooting, there were roughly three nonfatal shootings. And, folks, this is unacceptable in America. It's just unacceptable. And we're going to do something about it."
    ~ "W.(ish I Had A Brain)" ...again

    "It depends on what the meaning of the word 'is' is."
    ~ Bill Clinton

    And apparently, Barack Obama thinks that there are 60 states in the Union: [Link:] 58 plus the 2 (Alaska and Hawaii) his handlers couldn't justify Obama visiting.

    Yeah, I know I said I was going to add just "a few", and "a few" usually means "three". But once I started, I couldn't quickly stop. Plus, I meant "a few" in the "the United States of America has 60 states" kind of way.

    ~ D-FensDogg
    'Loyal American Underground'

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    1. I'm so glad you stopped by. I just knew that if you did, you'd have some fantastic comments to make. And you do!

      Those Bushisms are priceless! Thanks.

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  11. Brilliant post, Susan!
    I will share it with my family and friends.Thanks so much.

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  12. Politicians provide much material to make us laugh. Perhaps part of the reason for that is that they are always in the spotlight and every fault can be seen. For that reason (and for many others!) I'm glad I'm not a politician. I'm sure I'd be source of much humor too, and not in a good way. Ha! Great post,Susan! :-)

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    1. I'd like to think that both you and I would do better in the spotlight than some of these politicians do. But you're right. I wouldn't want to be a politician. Maybe a diplomat... (All of us women, especially mothers, know how to do that pretty well.)

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  13. The only kind of political posts I like to read are the ones that I can laugh at. This qualifies. :)

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    1. Yeah, me, too. It's none of my beeswax what anyone's political "beliefs" are, and I'm sure no one gives a diddle about mine, either. Far better to just make fun of all of the clowns.

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  14. Priceless thoughts on politics and politicians. We have a general election coming up in Britain. Let's see. :-)

    Greetings from London.

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    1. Thanks. I'm glad you liked it. Good luck with your election!

      Greetings right back atcha.

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  15. Yes, it's getting to be that time again. I think I'll need a bloodhound to try to sniff out the truth in all that's said and written.

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    1. Yep, but I think you'll need more than a bloodhound. Seems like the campaigning period keeps getting longer and longer, doesn't it? The politicians are more interested in holding onto their seats or getting into new seats than they are in doing whatever the heck it is they're supposed to be doing. (It's been so long since they've attended to business, it's hard to remember what that business is supposed to be.)

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  16. I wonder what Dan Quayle is up to these days. Favorite Young Man texted me recently to say that if a certain person is elected president, then he's going to apply for political asylum in Canada. I said I'd go, too, and we came up with a list of reasons that we should be granted asylum. They're not true, but government is not about truth.

    Love,
    Janie

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    1. Dan Quayle kinda disappeared from the public scene, didn't he? Too bad more politicians don't have the sense to do the same.

      Government and truth in the same sentence? What a hoot!

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  17. My daughter has banned me from watching the news. Especially the evening news, living were I do. I really don't mind a lot of "speaking" mistakes some of our presidents make as @STM likes to point out. But I want someone who wants to make our life better,
    Living in a border state and city, you see the democrat party at it's vote grabbing, money spending worst. My democrat party has let me down and only needs me to pay my taxes for their vote grabbing.
    So no matter who is put in office it will not make my life better. It is too late.
    I have thought of moving but were ?
    I could go on and on but this is your post. Funny but sadly funny.

    cheers, parsnip



    cheers, parsnip

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  18. Yeah. you're right. It IS sadly funny. I used to have such faith in our leaders, and believed they were actually interested in selfless service, and doing the best they could for the country.

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  19. Good to see that US politics is much the same as UK politics. Over here in France, however, it's a whole different nest of vipers.

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    1. Vipers is a good name for them, and I think they've infested political nests all over the world.

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  20. I wonder if there's only hope for our little experiment here; it certainly isn't working out for well for the majority, ie, the 99%.

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  21. Quaylisms are hilarious.

    It's horrible that many people who run things are unethical.

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    1. Quayle was pretty funny without meaning to be, but he came across as one of the good guys.

      Sure is. And the high cost of running for office probably keeps a lot of really decent capable people away, too.

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  22. Oh my gosh, Dan Quayle. I'm kind of surprised he hasn't been president yet. As for electing men who are currently serving time in jail ... well, at least they didn't elect a woman, by gosh! (I swear, some people probably think that. After all, isn't Hilary Clinton being raked over the coals for using personal email at work? But a man having sex with a 17 year old? Well, men will be men.)

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    1. In spite of how many times poor Dan Quayle stuck his foot in his month, I don't think he was dumb. Certainly not dumb enough to run for office again.

      I know what you mean about electing a woman, although I think it just may happen in my lifetime. (Assuming I live to be 150.) But I think Hilary really messed up by using her private server for emails when she was Sec of State.

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  23. I was a political science major during most of my undergraduate career, and the one thing I came away with was this: It's not that we vote for losers and poor leaders. It's that there are only certain types of people attracted to high level politics. Unfortunately they're the ones we'd least like to see in office.

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    1. "Only certain types of people are attracted to high level politics." Interesting concept. I'll have to chew on that one for a while. I like to think a variety of people may be attracted to serve, but what differentiates the good from the bad is their underlying motivation.

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  24. I find it easier to forgive politicians for some of the dumb things they've said (and most certainly didn't mean to say). The stress of public speaking would probably cause most people to mangle sentences. And what the heck, it makes for some great lines and provides some comic relief.

    But concerning the more serious offenses, I agree with your commentators... your observations are very funny, but it's really sad that they are so funny.

    And isn't that outhouse picture just perfect for this post? ;-)

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    1. My feelings about political misspeaking depends on the context. Anyone can mess up when speaking off the cuff, and the proper response would be an "oopsie" and shared laughter. No harm done. But I expect politicians to know better than shoot off their mouths about any topic without knowing the facts. I'd rather hear them admit ignorance than try to dazzle us with BS.

      YES! That picture is absolutely perfect! (Thank you!)

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  25. Oh Susan, thank you so much for the laugh... that was hysterical... especially the Dan Quayle sayings.. Everyone says something off or funny from time to time but oh my goodness, that man opened his mouth and silly fell out... unfortunately he thought he was being serious...

    We are not immune to the crazies in Canada either... I think their heads get swelled so they can't think as well...

    Have a great week ahead xox

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    1. I'm happy to oblige, my dear. Laughter's good for whatever ails us.

      Ah HA! You explained it! Those big heads aren't filled with brains... it's just... hot air!

      You have a super week, too.

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  26. Sorry, had an instinctive choke reflex on seeing the picture at the top, As for politicians in general, they are a foul lot but I tend to cut them some slack in the sense that the people tend to keep reelecting them making them a reflection of the nation. Both those idiots who keep voting for them and the morons who don't come to the polls.

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  27. Que Deus te dê um esplendoroso dia, com raios luminosos que te possam clarear os olhos para ver o quanto és importante. Deus Pai te fez assim: mulher importante e figura do próprio amor. Ele te moldou como uma rosa: forte e justa como os espinhos, linda e suave como as pétalas.
    FELIZ DIA INTERNACIONAL DAS MULHERES!
    Um doce abraço, Marie.

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    1. Thanks, Marie. I hope you had a wonderful Women's Day, too.

      Big hugs back at you.

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  28. Its fun Susan! Great post and interesting view!

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  29. Oh yes, I remember Dan Quayle. And his affinity for speaking when he shouldn't.

    Fun fact: the former mayor of our small cowtown was elected because his family is well known in the community. During his reign, there was an intersection that needed a stoplight. Instead of building one, he designed a $4 million dollar double roundabout that almost bankrupted the town. Also, to this day, people still crash there on a daily basis. Because rednecks don't understand how roundabouts work.

    He was NOT reelected...

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    1. OY! Your former mayor sounds a lot like some of the local politicians around here, but at least the folks in your small cowtown had the good sense not to re-elect the guy.

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  30. Thanks for a fun morning for me! Loved your post.

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  31. Susan: This country laughed so hard at the Bush/Quale comments that we decided to elect a joke.

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    1. It's a good thing most Americans have a sense of humor.

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  32. Dan Quayle always begs the question, why? Like the Kardashians and Paris Hilton, I never could quite understand what he was for. Saying that, he could give any stand up comedian a run for their money, even if his funny quips were unintentional.

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    1. Yeah, Dan Quayle came out with some real doozies. Poor guy. I kinda felt sorry for him. It's no wonder he always had such a hard time expressing himself... it isn't easy speaking with a mouth full of foot.

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  33. Loved the ballot, and there were too many great quotes to mention! It seems like only yesterday when Dan Quayle had the "potatoe" incident!

    Julie

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    1. Thanks. Glad ya liked the quotes.

      Yeah, poor Dan. He REEEEEEEALLY thought he was right when he told those schoolkids about the "correct" spelling, didn't he?

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  34. We in Australia of course to have problems with some politicians, both Federal, State and local government and always will.
    As far as American politics are concerned we down under often have a good laugh at what we hear of their goings on. I am not sure though that anyone here has kept track of how many faux pas our pollies have made over the years. I do remember one Prime Minister (Labor) saying that no child shall live in poverty in 1990 (there are still some not doing too well) and another PM (Liberal) saying "life wasn't meant to be easy". I've often wondered how knew that as he is quite a wealthy man. Then of course on the day Australia won the America's Cup our then PM (the same Labor man) said that any employer who didn't give the people a day off was "a bum". I must admit we didn't have a day off but many of us were late for work that day after sitting up till the wee small hours watching the end of the final race.
    Sorry I've gone on a bit there but politics are something one could go on and on about ad infinitum and never solve the problems that will always plague us.

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    1. I think no matter what the country, if there are politicians, there's gonna be problems of some kind. Goes with the territory, I suppose. Americans have the dubious honor, though, of being at center stage and in the spotlight, so people all over the world have the opportunity to take well-deserved pokes at us and have a little fun at our expense.

      You can go on a bit any time you'd like. :) I always enjoy hearing from you.

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  35. You're right it's the name recognition, get arrested, get elected. No brains needed, just money.... Plus, I think lots of folks vote for the idiot because they think it's funny. During election time in our house - tension is high. We never, ever agree.

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    1. My hubby and I rarely, if ever, agree on politics, either. Most of the time, we figure our votes serve to cancel each other's out. How annoying!

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  36. Kick them all out of office and replace them with new and fresh inspiring people who truly want to make a difference...

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    1. Sounds like a plan! Unfortunately, I hear that same rallying cry every election cycle... but the majority of people continue to vote for the incumbents. It doesn't matter that the approval rating for Congress is at a historical low, or that most people claim to be in favor of term limits. Maybe it's a matter of "better the crook they know than the one they don't know."

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  37. Hi Susan ... I hate to think what's going to happen in our election on 7th May - it is going to be an interesting time - frustratingly could be disastrous for Britain ... I'm happy to have more parties and more choice, but I don't want the break up of Britain.

    Going underground in London must be incredible .. they're building Crossrail at the moment - and the sewers are all part of that huge project ... 30cm between the new tunnels, and present platforms, roads, houses etc ... it is so interesting ...

    I think I'm back vaguely ... !!!! Looking forward to more thought provoking posts ... if only people would think that endorsing people who break so many rules, or are not worth idolising ... sadly people are people - often not very bright ..... cheers Hilary

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    1. Hi-ya, Hilary! Good to hear from you again!

      I guess we all get a little apprehensive about approaching elections, especially when the stakes are so high. Good luck! Here, we're already starting to get bombarded with political garbage regarding the next presidential election, and that's almost two years away. ARRRRRGH!

      HA! You're right. People aren't always all that bright.

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  38. Why do we keep re-electing these people? Because we elected them the first time and no one is going to admit their first decision was wrong.

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    1. Hmmm, maybe so, but if that's an operative principle, why do so darned many people get divorced? :)

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  39. Interesting post and insightful comments. Thanks for sharing!

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  40. I don't know how I missed this blog bit. Your posts are always so outstanding and this one was STELLAR.

    Have you noticed that mayoral races are even interesting, if by interesting you mean corrupt? When I lived in Augusta a former mayor was running again. He had to leave office the first time for embezzlement. Naturally, he was ahead in the polls. Right now, Jacksonville is in the midst of a mayoral election. The current mayor seems to be leading the pack, but he is a disgrace to the office. His budget will bankrupt the city. Do people just not care about this sort of thing? Of course, his leading opponent seems to be a career politician (never a good thing) and the one most likely to do a good job doesn't seen to have much chance of winning. So, yep, it does feel like a ballot is cast (most of the time) for Bad or Worse.

    In fact, with that in mind I predict a Presidential match-up of Hilary Clinton vs. Jeb Bush. If that doesn't make you want to vomit, I don't know what will.

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    1. Well, thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

      I'm not sure if ANY elected office is exempt from shady characters and loose ethics anymore. It seems as though Georgia legislators even have a special knack for changing "ethics" laws to create larger loopholes for them to crawl through in better comfort.

      A while ago, I would have agreed with your prediction of another Clinton vs. Bush match-up, but now I'm not so sure. We shall see.

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  41. Kwame Kilpatrick kept coming to mind for me while I was reading. Detroit mayor, liar, cheat, thief... still loved by so many even while he is incarcerated. So endearing (not). Some things I just don't 'get.'

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    1. Good example! (Don't feel bad... I don't "get" it, either.)

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