Friday, August 12, 2016

Making a Difference

Thought for the day:  We can't all do great things in life, but we can all do small things with great love. [Mother Teresa]

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With temperatures still high enough to sizzle an egg on the sidewalk, it's hard to believe summer break is over, and the new school year is already underway. Thinking about our grandchildren being back in school reminded me once again of just how important teachers are. Their attitudes and interactions with young people can leave indelible impressions... whether good or bad... that can last for a lifetime. I suspect that all of us, no matter how young or old, can name at least one favorite teacher. (Right?)

Anyhow, that's what this post is about... on the surface, anyway. It's about a story I read some years ago about how one very special teacher made a huge difference in the life of a young boy. First, a little background. Three Letters From Teddy was written in 1976 by a gal named Elizabeth Ballard, and was published in a small Christian magazine. Since then, variations of her original story, tidbits of which the author drew from real life, have been used by many other writers and inspirational speakers over the years. In fact, copies of her story were sent to every teacher in the state of Colorado in 1998, and later that year, Paul Harvey read it on-air as a piece of news. When interviewed in 2001, the author, now named Elizabeth Ungar, expressed disappointment that her piece of creative writing continues to be passed around, both on and off the Internet... without her name attached... as though it were a true story.

Okay, so it isn't a 100% true story, and there was no real Teddy, as portrayed in the story, and there was no real Mrs. Thompson, as portrayed in the story, but other children... and adults... with problems do exist, and the genuine compassion of real teachers... and other real people... most definitely does make a difference. Those real truths contained within Ms. Ungar's story explain its longevity, and the fact that it continues to resonate and inspire. We want to believe.

Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle. [author unknown]

So, with a nod and a tip of the hat to Ms. Ungar, are you ready for a Swiderski-ized version of her tale? Here goes...

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As she stood in front of her fifth grade class on the first day of school, Mrs. Thompson couldn't help but notice Teddy, the slovenly boy slumped in the back row, and she silently resigned herself to the fact that he was going to be a royal pain in her sizable keister all year long. According to his fourth grade teacher, he didn't work or play well with others, he dressed like a slob, and was constantly in need of a bath. In a nutshell, the boy had an uncanny knack for being a trouble-maker.


[image by Gianne Rensen V. Antonio]






As the weeks went by, the boy turned out to be exactly what she'd expected. Everything she'd been told about him was true.














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Each year, she reviewed the past records of all her students, and for whatever reason, she looked at Teddy's records last. When she did, she was mortified. His first grade teacher wrote, Teddy is a bright child with a ready laugh. He does his work neatly, and has good manners... he is a joy to be around. His second grade teacher wrote, Teddy is an excellent student, well-liked by his classmates, but he is troubled, because his mother has a terminal illness, and life at home must be a struggle. His third grade teacher wrote, His mother's death has been hard on him. He tries to do his best, but his father doesn't show much interest, and his home life will soon affect him if some steps aren't taken. And his fourth grade teacher added, Teddy is withdrawn and doesn't show much interest in school. He doesn't have many friends, and he sometimes sleeps in class. 


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 Mrs. Thompson was ashamed of herself, and felt even worse in December, when her students brought her Christmas presents. All of them were wrapped in beautiful ribbons and bright paper... except for Teddy's. His was clumsily wrapped in a brown paper bag.  Inside was a rhinestone bracelet with missing stones, and a nearly-empty bottle of perfume. When she opened it, some of the children started to laugh at first, but she quickly quieted them when she exclaimed about how pretty the bracelet was, and put it on. Then she dabbed a bit of the perfume on her wrist. Teddy stayed after school that day just long enough to say, "Today you smelled just like my Mom used to."
After all the children left, she cried, and that was the day she quit teaching reading, writing and arithmetic, and began to teach children... and she paid particular attention to Teddy every day.  As she worked with him, his mind seemed to come alive. The more she encouraged him, the faster he responded. By the end of the year, Teddy had blossomed into one of the smartest children in her class.

[morguefile]
A year later, she found a note from him under the door to her classroom, telling her she was the best teacher he'd ever had.

 Six years after that, she got a letter from him. He told her he'd finished high school, third in his class, and she was still the best teacher he'd ever had.

Four years later, she got a second letter, saying that while things had been tough at times, he'd stayed in school, had stuck with it, and would soon graduate from college with the highest of honors. He told her yet again that she was still the best and favorite teacher he'd ever had.

The third letter came four years later. This time he explained that after he got his bachelor's degree, he decided to go a little further. The letter explained that she was still the best and favorite teacher he ever had, but now his name was a little longer. The letter was signed, Theodore F. Stoddard, MD.

The story doesn't end there. Mrs. Thompson heard from Teddy again, telling her he'd met a girl, and was planning to get married. He said his father had died a couple years earlier, and he wanted to know if Mrs. Thompson would be willing to come to his wedding, and to sit in the place that was usually reserved for the mother of the groom.

[morguefile]

She, of course, went to the wedding, and she humbly sat in the mother-of-the-groom seat.  And she proudly wore the bracelet and perfume he'd given her so many years before.

When they hugged each other, he whispered in her ear, "Thank you so much for believing in me. You made me feel important, and showed me that I could make a difference." 

With tears in her eyes, Mrs. Thompson whispered back to him, "You've got it all wrong, Teddy. You're the one who taught me that I could make a difference. I didn't know how to teach until I met you."

                                   *****

It's a great story, isn't it? And one of the greatest things about it is that it speaks to all of us. Teachers carry a huge burden of trying to make a positive difference in the lives of the children in their classrooms, but each of us can make a difference, too. We may not make a living standing in front of a classroom, but we do interact with people every day. Our attitude towards them can make a difference. A kind word, a smile... they can both make a difference. Every day, each of us has the potential to be the bright spot in someone else's day. A kind word of encouragement from us has the potential to give someone the strength to continue. Quite a responsibility, eh? But we can do it. Our name may not be Mrs. Thompson... but I'm very confident that we can be just as compassionate.

                                        Until next time, take care of yourselves. And each other.

In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirits. [Albert Schweitzer]

Hell! Why not aim to BE one of those people who rekindle inner spirits? [me]

Try to be a rainbow in someone's cloud.  [Maya Angelou]

One kind word can warm three winters. [Japanese proverb]

Appreciation can make a day, even change a life. Your willingness to put it into words is all that is necessary.  [Margaret Cousins]

Be careful of your words. Once they are said, they can only be forgiven, not forgotten. [author unknown]

I had a friend who believed in me, and I didn't have the heart to let him down.[Abraham Lincoln]

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CLASS DISMISSED!!!



46 comments:

  1. What a beautiful story. It makes me think of individuals who showed me kindness and understanding and ignited something wonderful in me.

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    1. It also makes me think about the individuals who DON'T receive any kindness or understanding, and how different their lives might be if they did.

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  2. Truly beautiful, hopeful and empowering.
    And of course it made my sentimental eyes leak.
    Thank you. I am a firm believer in the 'ripples in the pond' effect. I just need reminding some days.

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  3. I hope you have some teachers reading this. They do such wonderful work, and are so rarely appreciated for it all.

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    1. A few teachers are fairly regular visitors here, so I hope they stop by to see this post, too. You're right about teachers being grossly under-appreciated. (And underpaid.)

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  4. You evoke 1960s memories here: Helping my mother grade papers past midnight --I did the the English essays; she graded the Spanish and Latin. I know how hard teachers work and how deep the rewards are. Why my sister decided to become a teacher was never a mystery to me. I became a gardener.

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    1. Very cool that your mother was a teacher. I'm sure you were a terrific gardener, dude, but I'm also sure you would have been a fantastic teacher.

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  5. I've heard versions of the teddy story before. It certainly makes you think about the quiet kids who sit in class and work just enough to get to the next grade, the ones whose home life isn't all it could be. The ones who eave school the minute they're old enough. I wonder if the teachers who pass these kids along think later what might have been if they'd had time or inclination to take more interest.

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    1. It takes an extraordinary teacher to see beyond the sad, mopey exterior of a student, and to effectively reach and teach the potentially successful child inside, but I think any good teacher must be forever haunted and regretful over the children who slipped through the cracks, and didn't get the help they needed.

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  6. There's always something valuable under the surface - - if only more people would take the time and trouble to excavate.

    What a brilliant story - it really touched my heart. There is definitely more to teaching (and learning) than the mere rudiments. I am reminded of special teachers that helped me by going beyond the call of duty. We need more of them.

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    1. Absolutely. We really CAN judge a book by its cover, sometimes, but people? Not so much.

      Yes, we DO need more teachers like that. Maybe if they were paid better, we'd get 'em.

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  7. That was sweet. And I did have a few awesome teachers (thank you, Mr. Wallace).

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    1. I think we ALL had some awesome teachers. Thank goodness!

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  8. I loved the story and loved how you told it. The only label that should be put on people is 'human', and all humans have potential. Caring and kindness brings out the best in us and others.

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    1. Thanks. YES! I completely agree. Even though he got good grades, one of our sons used to get frustrated if his teachers said he wasn't living up to his potential, but I was grateful his teachers were wise enough to recognize just how much untapped potential he still had.

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  9. That is a great story indeed. Teachers truly do make a world of difference, the good ones at least. Can't learn everything from a book.

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    1. Teachers play a tremendously important role, and you're right about all learning not coming from a book. (We also have the Internet! HA)

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  10. Lovely story. It is so true that we all can make a difference to those around us. We never really know how far that influence reaches either. Have a nice weekend!

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    1. Absolutely. A single action can spread like ripples in a pond.

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  11. I can't comment, there is something my eye I need to attend to.

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  12. this was a tissue alert story. Great post and oh so true. Thumbs up to teachers who teach children and do care - so many do. Thanks. Stay cool and have a super weekend

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    1. Yes... three cheers for teachers!

      Not sure about the "keeping cool" part, but we'll try. The same back atcha. Have a terrific weekend.

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  13. Beautiful--& I don't even care if it's true or not!!

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    1. Unlike in politics, sometimes the underlying truths mean more than the actual facts. :)

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  14. It's unfortunate, the only teacher I recall in any detail invites feelings of worthlessness. Crazy, but only recently I discovered a 4th grade classmate on FB ... who carries with him the same resentment and self-esteem issues. You'd think, after more than 50 years we'd give it up?

    I love Miz Elizabeth's line about quitting teaching reading, writing and arithmetic and began teaching children. Thanks for republishing her essay!

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    1. That's too bad. A poor teacher can make an indelible mark, too, but it's a painful one. My sixth grade teacher was extremely cruel to some of the kids, and if I (who he took an icky liking to, for some reason) can remember those occasions so well, I'm sure the kids he treated so poorly can remember them, too. Fifty plus years don't change anything. Those old memories are deep-seated.

      Which begs the question: if a person doesn't care for children, why-oh-why would (s)he choose to be a teacher?

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  15. Gee thanks, I was eating my lunch trying to catch up with some blogs and I read yours and got all choked up !
    I really don't remember any teachers beyond I liked them. When I went to school
    Everyone sat in class and obeyed the teacher. We learned reading and writing and arithmetic, history, geography music and art. I had a great education. Now we have all the political correct classes and in the biggest school district half of 3rd graders in this school district, flunked English they could not pass into 4th grade. I could go on and on about this very political school district but my blood pressure is rising.
    Thank You for publishing this story.

    cheers, parsnip and thehamish

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    1. No doubt, classrooms look (and sound) a lot different than they did when we were in school. With all of the extra challenges teachers have to face today, a good teacher is an even more valuable asset to society than ever.

      Cheers back atcha!

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  16. What a beautiful story. Blinking really fast here, too.

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    1. In your hot weather, blinking fast is a good thing to do... might stir up a little breeze. :)

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  17. I do have a teacher I remember. While I had always loved to read and write he gave me me hope that I could turn that into something someday. He died of cancer shortly after I graduated and the whole community mourned. He had touched so many lives.

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    1. A teacher like that is a real blessing to both his students and the community.

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  18. I have heard this story before and I cried each time... I had a teacher in grade six Mrs. Hieghton... she knew somehow I was having a tough time at home with my step mother because she often took me aside to tell me what a wonderful job I was doing in school and how smart I was. Because of her I always put my best effort forward and didn't disappear into the background. I always appreciated that she saw the best in me... I have such tremendous respect for teachers and for the hard work they have... most of them are so amazing and quietly going about theirs jobs of inspiring our children... xox

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    1. It's a blessing that you had the kind of teacher who helped you bloom, in spite of the difficulties.

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  19. I've seen this story passed around on the internet many times, but I never knew the background -- that it was a piece of creative writing. Still an inspirational story, however.

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    1. Yeah, I thought the inspirational aspect of it was the most important. And I have no doubt that YOU were the kind of teacher who changed lives. True story!

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  20. Such a beautiful story! Thanks for sharing. I had good teachers who made all the difference and a few who scared the life out of me, but all it really takes is one person to believe in you and it will change your heart!

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    1. For the most part, I had such wonderful teachers throughout school, it made up for the not-so-wonderful other things going on in my life. The only scary teacher I had was in sixth grade. I'm telling ya, he was a dead ringer for Ichabod Crane, and he was reeeeeally mean to some of the kids. Me, he liked, but it felt kinda icky.

      Yes, all it takes is one person to make a difference.

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  21. Those are all great, inspirational quotes! Thanks for sharing!

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  22. Real or not, it's a great story, and I love your re-telling. I'm just glad it's not TOO modern of a re-telling, because if it was re-told for this era, Teddy would have unnecessarily been giving ADHD medication and would have ended up a slobbering zombie. FIN.

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    1. Unfortunately, what you're saying is sad, but true. There were disruptive students back in the '50s, too, but nobody tried to medicate them into submission.

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  23. Such a wonderful story. It’s so important we don’t make assumptions about our fellow human beings, whether they be children or adults. We can’t walk in someone else’s shoes until we open our hearts. And when we prejudge, our hearts remain closed.

    Just recently I read a story about how donated washing machines dramatically increased attendance in two school districts. Heartbreaking as it is, Kids aren’t going to school because they have no clean clothes to wear. A couple of appliances, a little empathy, and 90% of participating students increased their attendance.

    VR Barkowski

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    1. Wow, that's an amazing story about the washing machines. It's eye-opening how acquiring something most of us take for granted can improve someone's life that much.

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