Friday, October 14, 2016

Only in Canada, Eh?

Thought for the day:  In any world menu, Canada must be considered the vichyssoise of nations — it's cold, half-French, and difficult to stir. [J.Stuart Keate]

In January about twenty years ago, I accompanied Smarticus on a business trip to the St. Pete area in Florida. The weather was unexpectedly chilly and breezy, so much so that I put on long pants and a jacket before taking a walk. I came across a group of people splashing around in the water and sunbathing on the beach in swimsuits.

Yep. You guessed it. They were from Canada. ♥

Americans are benevolently ignorant about Canada, and Canadians are malevolently well informed about the United States. [John Bartlet Brebner]

It's true. We Americans tend to be grossly uninformed when it comes to our sturdy cold-resistant neighbors to the north, while Canada is the most educated country in the world, (More than 50% have college degrees.) so I wouldn't be surprised if more of them know what's happening in our country than our own citizens do. With our presidential election right around the corner, and scores of Americans vowing to migrate to Canada afterwards, I considered it my civic duty to provide some much-needed information before you guys start packing your bags. You know, just so you know a little bit more about Canada than what you learned from watching the movie Strange Brew. So, are ya ready, hosers?

First off, if you're already a lover of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese, or Kraft dinner, as it's known in Canada, you'll fit right in. Why this neon-colored mixture of powdered cheese-like substance is such a hit up there is beyond me, but Canadians consume more of this golden-colored stuff than any other nation in the world... to the tune of like 1.7 million boxes per week. A former Prime Minister even called it his favorite food. Go figure.





As I'm sure you already know, Canada is nuts about hockey. They are also extraordinarily tolerant and polite.

Q: How do you get a Canadian to apologize?
A: Step on his foot. 

Q: How do you get fifty Canadians out of a pool?
A: You say, "Please get out of the pool."

Q: How many Canadians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They don't change light bulbs; they accept them the way they are.



Not my idea of playing on the ocean! [source: Reddit]
Yeah, it gets cold in Canada. Really really cold. The lowest recorded temperature occurred on February 3, 1947, when the mercury dipped to a phenomenal -84.7 degrees F. (-63 C) in Snag,  Yukon.

And believe it or not, in Newfoundland, the Atlantic Ocean sometimes freezes hard enough for residents to play hockey on it!





[morguefile]
You may have heard a little something-something about polar bears. Yep, they've got 'em! Churchill, Manitoba, is the Polar Bear Capital of the World. In this small town of less than 1000 residents, which can allegedly be walked from one end to the other in fifteen minutes flat, it isn't unusual to see as many as sixty bears on any given day. As a matter of safety, residents never lock their car doors, so pedestrians have easy access to them as an escape plan when they run into a bear. (Um, not literally. If they literally ran into one of these behemoths, which can reach ten feet and 1400 pounds, I don't think escape would be a viable option.)

[wikipedia- credit: Andrew Enns]
Would you believe more than 50% of the world's natural lakes are located in Canada? British Columbia's Lake Okanagan, as shown in the picture, contains Canada's counterpart to Scotland's Nessie... and his name is Ogopogo. 

With all of those lakes and forests, there's lots of wide open spaces and parks to enjoy. The Wood Buffalo National Park in Alberta is larger than the entire country of Switzerland. But even though Canada is the second-largest country in the world, the population is smaller than that of Tokyo's metro area. so there's plenty of elbow room to handle the influx of American cousins.

[wikipedia]
The Canadian/ U.S. border is the longest international border in the world, and it isn't under military guard. The words written above this Peace Arch at the crossing between Surrey, British Columbia and Blaine, Washington, says, Brethren dwelling together in unity. Not too surprising for a country that has had no weapons of mass destruction since 1984, and has signed multiple treaties repudiating their possession.

But don't let that fool you. Yes, they are a peace-loving people, but after the bombing of Pearl Harbor, Canada actually declared war on Japan a day before the United States did.

[morguefile]



No, you aren't mistaken. That is the Eiffel Tower, and it's still in Paris, where it's always been. But did you know it almost moved to Canada in 1967? When the tower was originally built in 1889 as part of the Paris Expo, the permit only granted rights for the tower to remain there for twenty years, after which time it was either to be dismantled or moved. When the permit expired, the powers that be wisely recognized what an important fixture the tower had become, so the decision was made to keep it in place.

However, Charles DeGaulle made a secret deal with the mayor of Montreal to move the tower to Montreal for its 1967 Expo. The deal went up in smoke when the committee that manages the tower poo-pooed it.



[wikipedia]





How you'll feel about this next tidbit about Canada depends on how you feel about snakes, garter snakes in particular. The Narcisse Snake Dens, located about 130 km north of Winnipeg, is the garter snake capital of the world. I'm talking tens of thousands of them in a fairly small area. From about mid-April to early May, visitors can watch these snakes in all of their writhing glory, as they crawl all over each other and search for a mate, or whatever else it is that snakes might do. The viewing platforms allow people to watch from afar. But I'm gonna allow you to watch from reeeeeally afar. In this video...


I know they're harmless, but seeing that many of them in one place is creepy. So let's look at something that's more uplifting. The world's first UFO Landing Pad...

[wikipedia- credit: Heterodyne]
And here it is. It was built in St. Paul, Alberta, as one of the country's Centennial Projects in 1967. There are two engraved markers there, one of which essentially declares the place to belong to the international community. The wording on that one is very nice, but the wording on the other plaque is outstanding:

As mankind stands on the threshold of inter galactic travel, let us not forget our failures on earth. 
If we are to become voyageurs of space, we must learn the true meaning of tolerance to others that are different from us.
We must remember that no matter how large the universe, the smallest creature has its place in the order of life. 
If we fail to conquer disease and pestilence on earth, but instead transmit them to other planets, we shall never be welcome.
If we fail to travel earth without destroying the environment, how shall we ever travel the universe safely.
If we cannot develop international goodwill among all men, how shall we ever develop inter galactic goodwill among all beings.
Lastly, if mankind travels this earth or universe armed with kindness, tolerance, hope and good spirits, he will always be welcomed. [ANON]

Quite a statement, eh?

[wikipedia]
SNOLAB is located in Sudbury, Ontario, and this is a picture of the part of it that's above ground The actual labs, the deepest clean labs in the world, are located in a mine about a mile underground. The extreme depth allows the secret experiments with neutrinos and dark matter (very deep subjects!) to be conducted away from environmental interference.


Okay, check out the object in this picture. What do you think it is? It kinda looks like a funny-shaped hunk of pepperoni, doesn't it?

Well, it's actually a... toe. Yes, a toe. A mummified human toe, dehydrated and preserved in salt, to be exact. It happens to be the key ingredient to making a Sour Toe Cocktail. In Dawson City, Yukon, all you have to do to become a member of the Sour Toe Cocktail Club is finish a drink (of anything!) with a real human toe like this in the bottom of the glass. The club's motto is You can drink it fast, you can drink it slow — but the lips have gotta touch the toe. And they do mean touch. There's a 500-dollar fine for swallowing the toe. (Believe it or not, some have had to  pay that fine...) Wanta see more? (Of course you do!)



All in all, I'd say the folks north of the border are a lot like us. They like to have fun, and there's lots of beautiful places all over the country for them to have it in. And lots of different flavors of fun that don't involve petrified toes. Like the spiffy bathtub races held on Vancouver Island every year.

 Hey! If you're still ready to get away from U.S. politics, and you'd like to drop some weight in the bargain, you might consider moving to the (c-c-c-cold) northern part of Canada, where there is unusually low gravity. Discovered in the '60s, there are several theories as to why gravity is lower there, but the important thing is that it IS. Talk about an easy peasy way to lose weight, eh? Unfortunately, it won't be enough to help you meet that new year's resolution you made. Only about one tenth of an ounce per every 150 pounds. (sigh)

Bottom line, Canada is a gorgeous country, and Canadians are awesome people. Tolerant, polite, smart, and fun-loving. Matter of fact, as comedian John Wing, Jr. said, A Canadian is merely an unarmed American with health care.  Ya know, in spite of the political chaos here, I'm perfectly happy living where I am, but I'm also happy to have met so many wonderful Canadians in the blogosphere. It was also fun to learn a teensy bit about their country. Who knows? Maybe Smarticus and I can vacation up that-a-way someday. (In the summer!)



                                Until next time, take care of yourselves. And each other.

THE END

67 comments:

  1. Wow, Susan - thank you for teaching me that much about Canada! (I especially liked the quote of John Wing jr.) A cousin of mine lives in Canada, and some acquaintances moved there. I only saw a lot of snow from the plane when we travelled to NY - in May...

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    1. Hi, Britta. John Wing, Jr. is a Canadian comedian, and I found a lot of good quotes from him, but that one was my favorite.

      Snow in May? I believe I'll pass...

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  2. I love this post, Susan. It provides compassionate and fun summary of a great nation at a time when our own country is going through its quadrennial lunacy.

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    1. Thanks, dude. I actually find it appalling how little most Americans know about Canada, or just about any nation. (including our own...)

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  3. As a Canadian, born in the USA, I applaud you pointing out some of the little know facts. It isn't that cold on the west coast at its southern end near the border due to the Pacific Ocean's warm currents - El Nino, but in the prairies and further north it does get a LOT below freezing. The east coast and Quebec and Ontario can also get some very cold weather and snow. British Columbia, where I live is very pleasant, although rainy in certain seasons. I love it here.

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    1. From what I've read and seen about Canada, there's an awful lot about it for anyone to love. :)

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  4. I loved this post. Some day I hope to visit the polar bear capital.
    And no day ever do I intend to drink a sour toe cocktail.

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    1. Thanks. I'm glad you liked it. It would be fascinating to see that many polar bears in the wild, but pretty scary, too. As for the sour toe, not my cuppa tea. (Than again, maybe you could have it IN a cup of tea...)

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  5. Wanna know what I like about Canada? It has great scenery for filming locations. Some of my favourite shows were filmed in Canada, like Stargate SG-1.
    And of course there's my Canadian blog friends, who all seem so happy.
    I hope to visit one day, during their summer of course and even then I'd probably need winter clothes (*~*)

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    1. I used to love Stargate SG-1, too. :)

      You and me, both. Even in the summer, I'd definitely pack a sweater.

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  6. I'll skip watching the snakes and the guy with the toe in his drink. Apart from that - a fantastic post as usual. I loved the quotes.

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  7. If it wasn't so damn cold, I'd seriously consider living in Canada! Love that last pic, lol.

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    1. Well, YOU don't exactly live in tropical warmth, either... :)

      (I like that pic, too!)

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  8. haha no one on the east coast uses that stupid "eh" thing, thankfully. I just want to smack people who use it over and over again, so not Canadian, eh? lol

    Most I knew, except the polar bear one.

    And you forgot, no matter what province you are from, tell an American the name and the first thing most say, "That's by Alaska, right?" Pfffft lol

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    1. Glad to hear you don't use (overuse) that "eh" thing. I thought it'd be funny to throw it into the post as a stereotype. In reality, hearing it all the time would drive me nuts.

      There's a lot of truth to that! Most Americans are dumb when it comes to Canada.

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  9. You showed us there are many good reasons to love Canada and the people who live there. If only it was warmer .......

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    1. Yeah, that cold weather would be a deal-breaker for me.

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  10. I love Canada - I've been to Quebec, Victoria, and Vancouver. Just lovely - scenery and people. Nice folks. What's a little snow and cold? Eh. Hockey rules!
    Have a good weekend

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    1. A "little" snow and cold would be fine. Here in Georgia, we occasionally get a "little" snow, which means a dusting that doesn't last more than a couple hours. What they have in Canada is an entirely different beast. :)

      You have a super weekend, too!

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  11. Funny.....each of those pieces of information is true about individual tiny portions of a vast land. Here in Ontario we nearly died from the heat this summer. You should have been here instead of Florida. Come and visit us but take care to stay away from Tim Horton's. The long line ups at the door are caused by Canadians arguing about who should go in first, who's going to hold the door and who can say 'sorry' the most often.

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    1. Yeah, I know. With as big as your country is, it'd be impossible to make generalizations that'd cover the whole story. Except for the part about being polite, obviously. HA Love it.

      I read quite a few things about your Tim Horton's. Made we want to go get some donuts. (Or Timbits. Sounds kinda dirty...)

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  12. I immediately thought of How I Met Your Mother and how frustrated Robin would get when her friends didn't "get" her Canadian pride. They even brought Alan Thicke and Alex Trebek onto the show! And yes, lots of hockey and beer.

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    1. Good example!

      They might not want me up there. I prefer football and tea. :)

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  13. That was a fun and interesting post, Susan. I will admit, though, that the snakes and the toe skeeved me out. HA! :D I'm not a big fan of cold weather either, but it is a beautiful and scenic place.

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    1. Skeeved you out, huh? I haven't heard that expression in a long time, but the sight of all those snakes kinda skeeved me out, too.

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  14. Let's see - I don't like freezing weather or hockey or snakes. I do eat Kraft Macaroni and Cheese ONLY because it's inexpensive - - not because I have any faith that there's real cheese in it....

    What I REALLY crave is politeness and sanity - - which is getting more and more difficult to find here in the U.S.
    And I would do ANYTHING to get away from this insanely bizarre presidential race.
    Perhaps Canada is the route to take......

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    1. As D.G. pointed out in her comment above, the southwest corner of Canada doesn't get all that cold, so there ya go. You could just as well not watch hockey up there as you don't watch it here. The good manners and civility are huge selling points for me, too.

      As for the election, less than a month to go. (HOO-rah!)

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  15. And of course, they have Neil Young. Enough said. :-) Great post. I love Canada and seriously plan to visit it with my wife some day.

    Greetings from London.

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    1. HA! Yeah, Neil Young is a definite plus. Justin Beiber, on the other hand...

      Greetings back atcha.

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  16. Would have preferred not knowing about that toe as it's now suppertime. Not possible now. :)
    Great information, so nice to meet such fun loving, intelligent folk! But I'm moving to the warmth, like you though, I'll visit during the summer. You need a passport now, don't you, or one of those license like ID's!

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    1. As for the toe, sorry about that. Some things you just can't "unlearn." :)

      No matter how much less it might cost to go up there in the winter, summer would still be the time for warm-weather folks like us to visit.

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  17. I consider myself to be pretty intelligent & well informed, yet I didn't know MOST of this stuff!!

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    1. You ARE a smart cookie, but nobody can know everything about everything. :)

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  18. You just added a few more items on my list of what I like about Canada and Canadians. When we lived in Buffalo, we used to visit Toronto occasionally, when I wanted to get homesick for a European-looking city. Heh. And sometimes we'd drive over the border in Niagara Falls to get a candy bar called Coffeecrisp. My husband used to joke that I was the only person he knew who'd go to a foreign country for a candy bar.

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  19. Sour Toe Cocktail ... pass. I don't want that nasty thing in my drink!

    And my husband says PASS on the town with the polar bears.

    Other than that, I hope to visit Canada some day.

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    1. No sour toe? Where's your sense of adventure, woman? HA

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  20. Hi Susan - count me out on many of these things .. snakes and sour toes - revolting though ... still from the salt you'd need another drink, presumably not another 'sour toe' ...

    Coffeecrisps are delicious ... something to avoid for sensible folk ... ! But I enjoyed my trip to British Columbia and it is a stunning country, I'd love to visit the rest of it ... sometime. Thanks for these tips, or otherwise!

    Cheers Hilary

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    1. Hi, Hilary.

      No sour toes for you either, huh? Such a bunch of sissies! (Easy for me to say... I'm not likely to ever be that far north...)

      Canada does look like a stunning country, and with lots of good things going for it, most notably its people.

      Cheers back atcha.

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  21. Guilty, as charged ... I'm inexcusably ignorant of our northern neighbors. Their good manners, alone, are reason enough to relocate, except DH harbors a HUGE dislike for cold weather.
    Whuss :)
    How I'd love to see a polar bear up close! That's pretty neat, they're given what sounds like a sort of refuge. Aside from koalas, they're my favorite creature.

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    1. HA! Yeah, I'm one of those whusses, too. :)

      Not sure I want to see any huge bear too up-close and personal. A koala? For sure! And a duck-billed platypus, too, while I'm at it.

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  22. Great collection of info. Thank you.

    Personally, I've been debating about moving to Canada. With the state of the union, I simply don't feel at home anymore in America. So many people are so vicious and uninformed, coupled with the blatant idiocy that is now our election...itS definitely made me start looking elsewhere.

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    1. I get where you're coming from, but I still believe in America's ability to land on her feet, and in the balance of power within the three branches to keep us afloat.

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  23. I love Canada so much. Every time I have been there I have enjoyed and the people are so lovely.. I have been on the east and west coast and loved the weather. But I must admit I loved, Lake Louise in Banff the best.
    Great post as always ! So very clever.

    cheers, parsnip

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    1. You've done a lot of traveling, haven't you? That's terrific. I've seen pics of Lake Louise, and it looks gorgeous to the max.

      Thank you, ma'am. :)

      Cheers back atcha.

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  24. Hello from Alberta, Canada ... nice write up ... and thanks for stopping at my blog as well ... Love, cat.

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    1. Hello from Norcross, Georgia. :)

      I'm glad you liked the post. After doing a bit of research, I now know you live in an area with a HUGE national park. Sounds wonderful!

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  25. Those posters made me laugh because my best friend is Canadian and that is exactly how she is. Trying to argue with a Canadian is no fun at all. In the end you feel so bad that you end up apologising for something THEY'VE done.
    I must say, Canada is my dream place to move to eventually.

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    1. HA! I can imagine how it might take all the steam out of a good argument if the other person refuses to rise to the bait, so to speak.

      It sounds like Canada may be the dream destination for a lot of people. Take care, kiddo.

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  26. I'd love to visit Canada again. I'd go see Jo Wake and make her cook me dinner. Anything without a toe. Or a snake. Those are two things I could do without!

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  27. LOL! My grandfather is a Canuck. There's a reason I adopted the eh, eh? (It's a nod to my family heritage.) The only problem with Canada, other than the cold, is the fact that the health care system is so slow and the government taxes the people at about 50%. Otherwise, it might be a pretty pleasant place to be. (And of course they don't have to watch their borders. We're the only ones they border!)

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    1. One of my aunts was married to a Canadian, and they spent half the year in Florida, and the other half in Canada, just so they could make use of the health care benefits and cheaper medicines up north. They were kinda elderly, so I don't know how the taxes worked for them, but they never complained to me about the health care.

      Well, they may START watching their border after this election. :)

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  28. Been so busy, I almost doubled up on Yammy Fridays! Thanks for a few things I didn't know, as usual :). Considering I'm 4 hours from Canadia, you'd think I'd know more about our friendly neighbor to the north. All I know is that I drank cocoa at a sidewalk cafe in January in Montreal, and I loved it! (but then I must be dead or a polar bear myself)
    x

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    1. Well, if you were in Montreal in January, you ALREADY know more about Canada than I do. Nothing trumps (sorry!) being there. :)

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  29. May we display your header on our new site directory? As it is now, the site title (linked back to your home page) is listed, and we think displaying the header will attract more attention. In any event, we hope you will come by and see what is going on at SiteHoundSniffs.com.

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    1. Hi-ya, Jerry. It's a very nice thought, and I appreciate it, but my header picture doesn't stay the same. I change it for each new post.

      Delete
    2. I just checked that site. Wow, you've sure put a lot of work into it. Very cool!

      Delete
    3. You changing your header image would not matter, but displaying whatever image is displayed will. For as you saw, those with their headers displayed stood out from the other listings. Having headers displayed also enhances the experience for those coming to the site to find something to keep them entertained or whatever. So, I hope you will let us go ahead and include it.

      Delete
    4. Thank you so very much for giving permission. Aside from the All category and the slideshow on the Home page, you can see your header under Literary and the United States.

      Delete
    5. You are most welcome! The slideshow on the Home page pooped out, though. Sorry.

      Delete
    6. No need to apologize, for heaven's sake. You're the one doing all the work! :)

      Delete
  30. After reading this, I am ready to pack a bag, buy heavy clothing and shoes, and head your way.

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    1. HA! I don't think you wanta head MY way. We aren't in Canada... we're in Georgia. Not the best place to go if you're enamored with cold weather. If you come here, you won't need heavy clothing and shoes nearly as much as you'd need shorts and flip flops. :)

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