Tuesday, July 3, 2018

Keep the Change!

Thought for the day: In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being.We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirits. [Albert Schweitzer]

Yep, it's that time again. Welcome to this month's edition of the Insecure Writer's Support Group meeting... er, virtual meeting, that is. Today, writers all over the world will be posting about the ups and downs, the highs and lows, the ins and outs... of writing. We'll celebrate... we'll complain... we'll commiserate and help rekindle those inner spirits. Whatever we need, this is the place to find it. Humble thanks and a jolly tip of the hat go to Alex Cavanaugh, our fearless ninja leader and the originator of this fine group, and to all of the other fine folks who've worked so hard to make it the huge success it is today. If you'd like to join (It's FREE!) or would like to read some of the other posts, please go HERE

On the writing front, progress has been glacially slow lately. Sales of my new book have been anemic; and reviews, practically non-existent. (sigh) Makes it a tad more difficult to stay focused and maintain enthusiasm about writing books two and three. But fear not. My enthusiasm will return. It always does. Now if only my damned muse would return from vacation...

Let's move right on to this month's question, shall we?

What are your ultimate writing goals, and how have they changed over time (if at all)?


When I was a senior in high school... you know, back in the Dark Ages... I contributed to and helped edit the school's literary magazine. After all these years, I still remember a poem my friend Bruce Troup wrote for it:

Change is never constant;
Constance never changes.
But all things change constantly.

Simple, yet profound, right? I guess that's why it's stuck with me for so long. 

Anyhow, to answer the question, of course my writing goals have changed. I used to think I was destined to be a great writer. Before I learned how to read, I made up the words and pretended to read books out loud. In second grade, a test we took to determine our potential career path (I kid you not!) said I'd be an author... and I believed it. In the summers, I concocted serialized fairy tales, and would sit in the shade of a tree and tell them to a group of neighborhood kids several afternoons a week. In fifth grade, filled with self-confidence, I entered an American Legion essay contest about Brotherhood...

[source: morguefile]

...and I LOST.

Talk about being one deflated puppy. Not even an Honorable Mention! I was crushed, because I'd worked so hard on that essay, and I thought it was so good...

PBBBBT! (That's the sound of my adolescent ego deflating.) Who was I trying to kid? I'd never be a writer.

Then my teacher, Mr. DeGrafft,  who was also one of the judges for the contest, took the time to tell me the judges loved my essay... but it didn't fit within the parameters of what the American Legion was looking for in a winning essay. They wanted rah-rah, Mom and apple pie feel-good declarations about our shared humanity and the inherent kindness of mankind.

 I, on the other hand, wrote about how people seemed to have an us vs. them mentality, so I thought the only thing that would lead to true brotherhood on our planet would be if we discovered a bigger adversary on another one.

Not exactly what they were looking for. But that wonderful teacher... that kind caring man...  rekindled my inner spirit by telling me why my essay didn't do well. He had so much confidence in me, he helped restore some of my confidence in myself. For that, I will always be grateful.


Since then, I've always been involved with some kind of writing, and like everyone else, my confidence levels ebb and flow. (Where's Mr. DeGrafft when ya need him?) Things might be at the ebb level now, but I'm pretty sure the drive will roll back in any day now...

So what's changed? I no longer believe I'm ever going to be a great writer. Nor do I dream about Pulitzer prizes and cheering crowds waiting for me at book signings. I don't expect to be accepted in every anthology I submit to, and I don't expect every story I send to a magazine to be published. Whether or not I ever had any innate talent is immaterial. I'm endlessly grateful for those teachers who instilled confidence in my writing and editing ability, but since I've gotten older, I've adjusted the bar to a more realistic level.

I write because I love to write, and I still love to spin a story. Do I still get discouraged? Sure, I do. But I'm a big girl now, (in more ways than one...) and I don't need affirmation and support like I did as a kid. (But I'd still like it every once in a while...)

That's why reviews matter so much to me. At their best, they show me that I've connected with another human being... and THAT is my overwhelming goal. When I feel a little low, I re-read some of the fantabulous reviews for Hot Flashes and Cold Lemonade, and I look at some of the wonderful emails readers have sent me...

and I smile with gratitude. Life is good... even if no alien forces have united us yet.



                                 Until next time, take care of yourselves. And each other.























74 comments:

  1. I hope your lovely book will soon get the success it deserves! Just keep at it! Hugs, Valerie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you. Only it's kinda... "our" book. :)
      Hugs back atcha.

      Delete
  2. I suspect that you continue to write because you have to, that writing is as integral to who you are as breathing.
    Aren't the Mr DeGrafts of this world amazing. People who can turn the sunshine back on, sunshine we believed was gone for good.
    I do hope that you start to receive a fraction of the support you give to others.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, you're right. If I didn't write, I'd be one of those little old ladies who mutter stories to themselves all the time. :)

      The ability to turn the sunshine back on with kindness and support was part of Mr. DeGrafft's magic. He may not have made much money as a teacher, but he certainly touched a wealth of young lives in a positive way. We all loved him.

      Thank you, dear lady.

      Delete
  3. I love you, friend Susan, Always, cat.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I don't do reviews, I'm terrible at explaining why I like or don't like a book. I did say several posts ago that I'd finished reading Explosive Beginnings and liked it. I hope you get your inspiration back, I'm looking forward to book 2.
    I'm astonished at the test to determine a potential career path in second grade, that's kind of early. Come to think of it, I don't remember ever having such a test, the most we got was asked what we might like to be when we finished school.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You don't have to explain why you do or don't like something when you write a review. Some people write looooooong (too long!) pieces, and they go into great detail about the characters or the plot, or whatever. Other people simply write something simple and to the point like, "Enjoyable read!" or "Mediocre, at best." or "Don't waste your time on this garbage." On Goodreads, some don't even do that. They simply rate a book, and don't write a single word about it. As comfortable as you are with words, I'd think you'd have no trouble writing a sentence of two about any of the books you read. But... I understand if that simply isn't your thing. Bottom line? Thank you for reading, and I'm glad you enjoyed it. :)

      Looking back on it, it really was kind of wacky to test second graders to determine potential career choices. I wonder how many of us followed those paths? (I suspect very few did.)

      Delete
  5. haha your younger self was right. Only way we'll all come together is if aliens attack, or dragons, or psycho hobbits.

    Yeah, I just write because I enjoy it. The rest of the crap can go up the creek and sink in it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I used to think the younger me was right, but with as much anger, hatred, and divisiveness as there is in the world nowadays, I'm not sure we could even come together enough to fight a common enemy. I hope the old me is wrong. :)

      Delete
    2. Oh, we'd probably come together, then if we won, we'd go back to fighting over what's left.

      Delete
  6. Maybe your Muse and your Enthusiasm are on vacation together, and they'll arrive home at the same time.... :)

    A lack of reviews doesn't mean you aren't connecting with readers. Not everyone leaves reviews. They might tell a friend instead. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. HA! Maybe they are, but I wish they would've taken me with them! I could use a little beach time, too...

      That's a good thought. Thanks. :)

      Delete
  7. People may be trying to leave reviews on Amazon and not being able to. I've had one that I left for someone removed and was told that I couldn't post a review for someone else due to "bias" - I don't even know the author.

    I think you're a fabulous writer - both books of yours that I've read were fantastic. Keep going with books 2 & 3. I want to see what happens next.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's absurd... and frustrating... that Amazon arbitrarily decides who's biased and who's not. They'd already made soooo many of my reviews disappear... (sigh) We'll just keep on keeping on.

      Thanks, Ellen. I appreciate it.

      Delete
  8. That we've connected with someone else matters more than anything.
    I thought the theme of your essay was awesome.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Agreed. Those connections make it all worthwhile.

      Thanks! I have a feeling you might've even written a similar essay...

      Delete
  9. Yes, everything including ourselves keeps changing. Nothing ever stays the same. This time will pass too. It's summer and a time to slow down and refresh for the days to come.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know change is inevitable, but I've always been a bit of a "being perfectly happy just the way things ARE" kinda gal, so I'm not always quick to embrace changes. (i.e. I STILL don't have a cell phone, and I STILL don't want one!)

      Yes, slow-down time. In this heat, that's the best way to handle it.

      Delete
  10. It has been a difficult and busy few months for me so I have had little down time (mentally and physically) to do “me” time. I have saved reading your book for when I go on vacation later this month. I look forward to it. After I finish it, I promise you that I will write a review.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I do hope thing slow down for you soon. Yeah, I know difficult times are supposed to make us stronger, but I think you're strong enough. Time for a rest. I hope you have a glorious vacation.

      Thank you. :)

      Delete
  11. The joys of the ups and downs, eh? You know, when a book is new, it's often beneficial to query reviewers individually. Once there's a certain number of reviews, people tend to be less timid about sharing their thoughts. It's totally the mob mentality.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, ups and downs. I reckon we just have to hang on and try to enjoy the ride. Good idea about contacting individual reviewers. I may do that. (Or not...) :)

      Delete
  12. Life is change, eh? Thank God for mentors like your Mr. DeGrafft who give us a boost when we're ready to give up. Wishing you happy writing in July, and lots of positive reviews.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, sometimes the changes are so fast, it's hard to keep up with them. Mr. DeGrafft was a dear man, and so are all of the other people who have the gift of boosting other people's spirits.

      Happy writing to you, too!

      Delete
  13. I loved the story about your teacher. What a great guy. And I also love the sound of the essay you wrote. I would have gone for that over the happy ending stories too. You know I go for the dark stuff!
    So glad you kept writing and continue to keep on today. We are all lucky to be readers of your stories. :)
    Happy 4th!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mr. DeGrafft was definitely a great guy. All these years later, I know of several other people who still consider him their best teacher of all time.

      Happy 4th to you, too!

      Delete
  14. I like that poem your friend wrote. It's so true. So many writers knew they wanted to write when they were really young. Like you. I didn't know for a long time. But once I started, I couldn't stop.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. For me, I think loving to write went hand-in-hand with loving to read. It's really an addiction to the written word, in general. You may not have known you wanted to write at an early age, but I bet you were an avid reader! And now? You're making up for lost time. I've pre-ordered Gracie's 2nd book. Can't wait! Hmmm, I believe I've read ALL of your books...you could say I was lucky enough to get in on the proverbial ground floor of your writing career. :)

      Delete
  15. My daughter wrote an essay for one of those American Legion contests when she was in fourth or fifth grade. She got third place in spite of the fact that she said America could be better. She also mentioned that when Tiger Woods was a kid that he and his dad couldn't play at a (I think it was) a navy golf course. The silence in the room made me think, Uh-oh. But when all the prize giving was over, an old lady came up to my daughter and said, You just always keep believing that way and you'll be fine.

    Love,
    Janie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's an awesome story. I'm glad the judges weren't predisposed to having a cookie-cutter winner and were able to judge your daughter's essay on its own merits. In the fifties, thinking outside the desired box wasn't terribly encouraged. (Not that it stopped me...!) Your daughter sounds like she was an amazing clear-thinking young lady. Gee, I wonder where she could've possibly gotten that from...

      Delete
  16. .. What 'Cynical' said! Both of your books were so enjoyable, and I can't wait for the next! (Have you considered setting a lure for the muse?)

    Seriously, I'm in awe of your Mr. DeGafft. Now, THAT's a teacher.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you. :) Hmmm, I wonder what kind of lure might work... a box of candy, maybe...?

      Me, too. He was one helluva teacher. And one helluva man.

      Delete
  17. LOL! So the way to bring us peacefully together is to find someone else to fight :) You should have had top marks for insight, and you show the mark of a true writer ... write what you need to, regardless of what others want to read.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The only problem with writing what you need to, regardless of what others want to read, is that then... they DON"T read it! HA!

      Delete
  18. I enjoyed reading your story. Writing is definitely a journey. Happy IWSG!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks. You're right. It is a journey, and we can't let the detours keep us from completing the trip. Happy IWSG to you, too!

      Delete
  19. Happy fourth of July to you! Give your muse a break...it's vacation time! She's probably hanging out at the beach. Or in the mountains. Or in the library, coming up with ideas for writing.

    What a great teacher you had, to encourage you like that.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I hope you guys had a bang-up 4th, too!

      I wouldn't mind my muse going on vacation so much if she'd only thought to take ME along. :)

      For sure. I was very fortunate to have had some fabulous teachers. Mr. McGrafft was my favorite.

      Delete
  20. Hi Susan - that's great your teacher was encouraging and didn't just let you sink away ... especially away from writing and creating - you've got such a lovely way with words ... take care and perhaps get Smarticus to get you a paddling pool - or join the GrandKids ... enjoy the weather and change - Hilary

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi-ya, Hilary.

      You're right. I really lucked out with that teacher. (And lots of other ones, too.)

      HA! No more pools for me! We had a big one for years, but after the kids grew up and moved out, we ended up filling it in. It required too much maintenance for as little as we used it. I'd rather jump into the ocean or gulf with the grandkids.... and soon, hopefully.

      Take care. Cheers!

      Delete
  21. Hi Susan! It's incredible that your second grade test indicated you'd become an author! I'm so glad that your teacher took the time to explain what happened in the writing contest and motivated you to stay on course. You truly were ahead of your time. I really enjoyed Explosive Beginnings and know things will pick up soon. I thought of Archie at the Fireworks tonight. Hope you had a fun 4th of July.


    Julie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi-ya, Julie! I've been thinking about you a lot lately. I hope you're doing well.

      HA! Maybe I was ahead of my time then, but not anymore. Now, I'm perfectly happy to keep on using my old landline telephones... even a couple with rotary dials. (Don't need no stinkin' cell phone... who wants a phone smarter than they are...?)

      We did. I hope you had a super 4th, too.

      Delete
  22. Got my copy, am pledging a review. I knew I was a writer early too - quit not, Susan, because the only thing I don't like so far is the lack of time to sit and read! As a writer I would not say I was insecure, but still sometimes check my stats and sigh. I tell myself I do not have to be a 'success' I just have to get these words out and enjoy life - and then I remind myself of that often! xxx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think, in the pursuit of maintaining sanity and equilibrium, we'd both be better off if we ignored those stinking stats. I like your definition of "success" much better. But whatever you do, don't stop writing.

      Delete
    2. Am reading Explosive Beginnings - loving it!
      And yes, going to keep writing whatever the stats say :-)

      Delete
  23. I needed that affirmation as a kid, but now what I really often need is just a kick in the pants.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Greetings Susan. Good luck with you latest novel, I wish you all the best with it. I was in a special school when I was younger, and we only got taught basic English and Maths! Not very good, thankfully I wasn't in their for long! I enjoy writing too, and it's therapeutic. Keep writing and sharing. Blessings to you. Love love, Andrew.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Greetings, Andrew. Thanks. I agree about writing being therapeutic. It can be a lot easier to put our feelings down on paper than it is to say them out loud. I like to say I think better with a pen than I do with my brain. :) Blessings back atcha.

      Delete
  25. Not only are you a good writer, but you are a caring writer/blogger,kind to all you encounter. Your day-to-day goodness is more important than any writing prize.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow, Liza. That may be the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me. Thank you.

      Delete
  26. So sorry you've been losing enthusiasm to write lately. I know too well how hopeless things can feel when sales and such remain stagnant. *hugs*

    And wow, if only there were more teachers like Mr. DeGrafft in the world. That's awesome how he gave you the encouragement you needed back then!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, but I'm sure the blahs will pass. :)

      Yeah, I sure wish my kids and grandchildren had teachers like Mr. DeGrafft. He was one of the best.

      Delete
  27. Turn that frown upside down. Hey, I understand. The book world is tough and there's lots of competition. Your book is very good - do not doubt yourself. I don't know how (see my book sales numbers), but you have to push - try to do a talk at your local library. Try to get in with some book groups in your area - to read, answer questions, and sell. That's how I got some sales.

    And keep writing....I'm ready for your sequels.

    Take care

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm not really frowning... it's more of a sigh. :) C'est la vie.

      Thanks. I'll still writing. The "pushing" stuff is way outside my comfort zone. Don't believe me? I was an Amway salesperson for a verrrry brief while. The problem? I didn't want to bother people by going door-to-door, and I certainly wasn't going to give a sales pitch to my friends... I DID, however, sell a few cans of spray shoe polish to my father... :)

      Delete
  28. That was kind of your teacher to take the time to encourage you to keep writing, but I don't really think he did it out of kindness. I think he truly believed that you were, are, and continue to be a talented writer. I believe it too, by the way. If he didn't think you were talented, he wouldn't have taken the time to speak to you about it. I hope you keep writing because I want to keep reading what you have to say. :-) Have a great week!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for the encouragement. :)

      You have a super week, too!

      Delete
  29. Sometimes it can be frustrating being a writer. But you have to remember why you do it. It's because you enjoy creating the stories. Keep going. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Being a writer isn't frustrating. When the words are flowing from who-knows-where, it's a real joy. So I'll hang onto that, and keep going. :)

      Delete
  30. Teachers can and do have such an impact on us. I remember some of mine with thanks and affection, they were so encouraging …

    That teacher you had sounds a great teacher to encourage you like that.

    Sending positive thoughts to you

    All the best Jan

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Absolutely! Teachers have unprecedented power to impact the lives of their students. It's too bad society doesn't have a better appreciation for their importance and pay them accordingly.

      *SMACK!* Wow, thanks... just got your positive thought. :)

      All the best back atcha.

      Delete
  31. May your flow begin flowing soon! I’m off to check out your book now. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks! It's flowing slooooowly... I think I may need to reboot my battery... :)

      Delete
  32. Susan, it's been too long since I told you I sure like how you write. As you know, I kept in contact with my favorite teacher, Willie in Sonoma, who is in his 80s now but still corrects my spelling and grammar --as he has done for over 1/2 century. As to "Where's Mr. DeGrafft when ya need him?". He's there inside your mind, correcting, encouraging. Willie uses email and the phone, but the intent and benefit is the same.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Geo. I appreciate it.

      I think it is soooo awesome that you've stayed in touch with your teacher all these years. The only teacher I kept in touch with was my 12th grade English teacher. We wrote for a while when I went away to college, but the tone of his letters became a tad too boyfriend-like, so that was the end of that.

      Delete
  33. I can't help it, Susan. I get "deflated" when I receive a rejection, too. The good thing is you pick yourself up, dust off those blasted keys you [and I] keep having issues with, and send off our next attempt at being published. You're in the right group to find support. I'll be sure we're connected on social media and follow your blog. Please follow my blog if you haven't already. All best to you!
    http://victoriamarielees.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I believe I hear music...

      "Ya gotta pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again..." :)

      That song may not have been written just for writers, but it sure fills the bill.

      All the best right back atcha.

      Delete
  34. I love that quote at the beginning of the post. That's the effect many friends have on me. :-)

    Greetings from London,

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Me, too. The world would be a better place if there were more inner fire-stokers in it. The very best kind of friends to have... and to be.

      Greetings back atcha.

      Delete