You'd Better Shop Around

Thought for the day:  Seeing's as how most of the merchandise sold in America's WalMarts was produced in China, do you suppose most of the stuff in China's WalMarts was made in the USA?

Nah, I don't think so, either.

Even though WalMart stores have popped up in many parts of the world, including China, the merchandise must vary quite a bit from country to country. I mean, how likely is it that a shopper in China would have any interest in buying corn dogs, a book about Uncle Sam, or a Super Bowl tee shirt?

So what does a WalMart shopper in China want to buy, you ask? Hehe. I'm so glad you asked, because we're about to take a little gander inside a Chinese

                                                                    Ready??? Here goes!

Not sure if the powdered horse milk is for foals or fools people.

I reckon anti-bacterial undies keep a fella's dong phu from getting too phooey, huh?

In case you can't tell, that's assorted reptile parts in them there bags. For most of us, frog legs are about as adventurous as we wanta get.

Underwear may be sanitized, but Chinese people evidently don't have a problem scooping rice out of big open-air bins.

Now, this is a bunch of bull. Or at least, it's a pile of a certain anatomical part of a bunch of bulls, if you get my drift An aphrodisiac, maybe? More like a purgative, if ya ask me.

Not the kind of Crocs we're accustomed to seeing at the store, is it?

So exactly what do you remove from water to make it dietetic? Oh, wait! I've got it. Maybe they add something to it. Like ipecac. That'd knock those pounds right off...

YUM! Savory duck carcasses.

What? Not interested in DIY frog legs?

Again, no concerns about the sanitary conditions of bulk meat, either.

Now these are kinda cool. More men might drink water if it tasted like meat. Hey! Where's the bacon...?

Um, yep. Those things are exactly what they look like. Pig faces. Smoked, maybe? I'd rather have bacon with my eggs, thank you very much.

How about some assorted animal ribs? No need to be shy, people... just help yourself.

Although this picture was included on numerous websites along with a mess of other shots allegedly taken inside a Chinese WalMart, I suspect it's bogus. But funny. I like funny. (But I don't want to see eyeballs in my pickle jar.)










So there ya have it. What's the strangest thing you ever saw in a Superstore? In America, the strangest thing in the store may not be the merchandise; it may be the shoppers. Let's just say... they have a...  fantastic sense of fashion. Don't believe me? Check out this People of Walmart video. (There's plenty more of 'em on Youtube, too.)

Since the topic today is picking on  about Walmart, I might as well throw this out there, too. Didja hear that WalMart is thinking about selling wine under its own label? Their marketing department thinks a cheap-ass huge potential market for cheap-ass  inexpensive wine exists. Who knows? Could be they're right. After all, who doesn't love Two Buck Chuck? So whattaya think Wally World should call their wines? How about these creative suggestions:

•  Chateau Traileur Parc
• White Trashfindel
• Big Red Gulp
• World Championship WRiesling
• NASCARbernet
• Chef Boyardeaux
• Peanut Noir
• I Can't Believe it's not Vinegar 
• Grape Expectations
• Nasti Spumante

The beauty of Wal-Mart wine is it will make ya sick go equally well with white meat (possum) or red (squirrel). (No need to tell me this scintillating information I received from a friend is yet another hoax. I know perfectly well squirrel meat isn't red.)

Next Monday, the lovely and talented Dianne Salerni will be interviewing me on her blog. It seems she has a few questions about Hot Flashes and Cold Lemonade. How about that? She's a fantastic writer, and it'll be a genuine honor to visit with her. Tell ya what. Why don't y'all stop in and say howdy, okay? Heck, I'll even bake a chocolate rum cake.

Not enough blatant self-promotion for ya? How's this? Yesterday, my old hometown newspaper in Maryland ran an article about ... moi and my book. Life is good. Oh yeah, life is definitely good.

                                    Until next time, take care of yourselves. And each other.