The Cold Truth

Thought for the day:  Cheers to a new year and another chance to get it right.  [Oprah Winfrey]

You guys still there???

Ta DA! I'm ba-a-a-a-ck! Better late than never, right? Oh, and by the way, if you didn't happen to notice my semi-lengthy absence from the ol' blogosphere, kindly have the decency to keep that rather unflattering fact to yourself, okay? After all, (harumph) an old lady needs her illusions...

 More importantly, let me wish you all a very HAPPY NEW YEAR! Jeez, it's hard to believe it's the tenth already, isn't it? I hope your Holiday celebrations were off-the-chart terrific, and your new year is off to a stellar start.

Mark Twain said, Now is the time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving the road to hell with them as usual.  So... now that we've passed that first week milestone, how you doing so far? I'm pleased to say I haven't broken a single resolution yet. (Then again, I never make any.)

[seniorark]

The weather is warming up quite nicely now, but earlier this week, most of the country... including Georgia... was painfully c-c-c-c-old. And since it's kinda late in the month to babble about our (old news!) Christmas and New Year's celebrations, or about the galloping case of pink eye I'm still recovering from, (Why do they call it pink when it's actually bright bloody red...?) how's about if I babble about the cold?

                                                                    As in...

[seniorark]

How cold was it? It was so cold...

*  Hitchhikers were holding up pictures of a thumb.
* A recorded message at the  911 center said to call back in the spring.
* I saw a squirrel throwing himself at an electric fence.
* My friend chipped a tooth on her soup.
* The old lady across the street couldn't believe how badly her teeth were chattering on Tuesday night. They were sitting in a glass at the time.
* Chickens have been running into KFC, and begging to be thrown into the deep fryer.
* Starbucks started selling coffee on a stick.
* When farmers milked their cows, they got ice cream.
* If you can believe it, politicians had their hands in their OWN pockets.
* I saw a dog over on Main Street. The poor thing was frozen to the fire hydrant.
* We have one of those new rain showerheads. I love it, but the other day, when I turned it on, I got hail.
* Smarticus and I ate lunch at a greasy spoon on Wednesday... just for the heartburn.
* EVERYBODY had a stiff upper lip.

Okay, I'm on a roll with this whole talking about cold stuff, so I'm gonna share one more thing with you before wrapping it up. You know how the people in some cities pride themselves on being able to handle frigid temperatures better than people in other cities? There have been quite a few funny pieces written along this line about various American cities, and you may have seen some of them. One of the truly cool things about amateur radio is how it opens the door to enjoying friendships with people from all over the world. So, thanks to amateur radio, and specifically to a funny Finnish amateur radio operator, here's a fun piece about cold-weather fortitude... with a bit of an international flair. All temperatures are in degrees Centigrade.

• +15 --- Spanish wear caps, gloves, and winter coats; Finns are sunbathing.
• +10 --- French desperately try to get their central heating on; Finns plant flowers.
• + 5 --- Italian cars won't start; Finns drive convertibles.
•    0 --- Pure water freezes; water in River Vantaa thickens a bit.
• - 5 --- First people are found frozen in California; Finnish midsummer festival ends.
• -10 --- Scots turn the heat on in their houses; Finns start to wear long-sleeved shirts.
• -20 --- Swedes stay indoors; Finns are having last barbecue before winter.
• -30 --- Half of the Greek people have been frozen to death; Finns start to dry laundry indoors.
• -50 --- Polar bears evacuate North Pole; Finnish army starts its winter training.
• -70 --- Siberians are moving to Moscow; Finns are furious, because their Kiskenkorva liquor can't be stored outdoors anymore.
• -273 --- Absolute zero; Finns admit that it is quite cold outside.
• -300 --- Hell freezes over; Finland wins the World Cup.

So, there ya have it. Time for a cuppa hot tea, dontcha think? Or maybe ...  a little nap. My brother is coming for a visit, so I'll see you guys again next Friday. Matter of fact, Friday-only posts may become the norm for me in 2014. It's time for me to decide if I'm a writer who blogs... or a blogger who writes. That next book ain't gonna write itself... (Dammit.)

    [Morguefile]

Be at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each New Year find you a better man.  {Benjamin Franklin}

Gee, I dunno, Ben. I'm pretty darned happy with the man I've got... [me]

                                    Until next time, take care of yourselves. And each other.

[Many thanks to the fine folks at icanhascheezburger for granting me permission to use the cat images shown at the top of this post.]