Pssst... Need a News Fix?

Thought for the day:  If Thomas Edison invented electric light today, the news would report it as "candle-making industry threatened."  [Newt Gringrich]

Hi. My name is Susan. I am an information junkie and newspaper addict. How about you?

As anyone who reads a lot of newspapers can attest, headlines are sometimes written with some mighty questionable word choices. (I mean, come on! Do they even read what they write?) Sure, sometimes the wording might be an intentional play on words, like the headline a friend sent me recently. It's  from a June 14, 1996 Toronto newspaper, and reads, Marijuana issue sent to joint committee.

No argument... that'd be a rather appropriate place to send it, dontcha think? But was the wording intentional... or an inadvertent funny? I dunno. You decide.

It's been quite a while since we took a look at some newspaper headlines that tickle my funnybone, so we're gonna do that today. But first, let's take a quick look at some blogosphere news, shall we?

Remember the False Start Friday idea that Suze came up with last November? Participants got to resurrect a dead snippet of their old writing, dust it off, and then give it a new lease on live by posting it on their blog. Well, it's baaaaack. Only two dates slated for it this time, though: this coming Friday, and the last Friday in February. Wanta get in on the fun? It's probably too late to sign up for this week, but you could always give it a shot. (Might help if you can squeeze out a virtual tear or two while begging Suze to let you in.) If not this week, then how about next month? I promise: no one will throw stones at your baby. And you might be surprised... it just might turn out that you decide to keep that baby in the land of the living and do some more work on it. Who knows? It could happen. Um, I'm not sure why this particular picture is associated with False Starts,  but it doesn't mean you have to write sci-fi. Anything goes.

                                         [Don't trust atoms. They make everything up.]

Coming up next Monday is a blogfest sponsored by a fabulous (and international) foursome: Stephen Tremp, Mark Koopmans, Elise Fallson, and Carolyn Brown. The idea for that one is, obviously, to briefly introduce yourself to a bunch of bloggers who don't know much of anything about you (Maybe 100 words or so.) No telling what you might have in common with some of the other people you might meet through this fest. Kinda like speed-meeting. You can sign up on any of those four blog links.

[Hello, I love you, won't you tell me your name? Jim Morrison ]

This last blogfest I wanta tell you about isn't gonna take place until March, but telling you now gives you the opportunity to give it some thought. What it, you ask? Suppose you answer your front door one morning and find a box addressed to you... from you. More precisely, from a you ten years in the future. What do you suppose might be in that box? This fest has three super-cool hostesses: Suze... Nicki Elson ... and Mary Pax. Sound like fun? If you wanta take a fun trip back from the future, click on the badge in the sidebar, and register today... or tomorrow... or yesterday. Whatever. Just do it.

[Time travel used to be thought of as just science fiction, but Einstein's general theory of relativity allows for the possibility that we could warp space-time so much that you could go off in a rocket and return before you set out.  Stephen Hawking]

Okay, that's all the bloggie news for now. Ready for some interesting headlines?

Oh, yeah. Just one more thing. Today's thought for the day reminded me of something else. In 1845, Frenchmen Frederic Bastiat wrote a satirical letter to the French Parliament, expressing his tongue-in-cheek concerns regarding the candle-making industry. He wrote: We are suffering from the ruinous competition of a rival who apparently works under conditions so far superior to our own for the production of light that he is flooding the domestic market with it at an incredibly low cost... This rival, which is none other than the sun, is waging war on us... We ask you to be so good as to pass a law requiring the closing of all windows, dormers, skylights...    

                             Until next time, take care of yourselves. And each other.                                

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Thought for the day:  I'd rather have a life full of mistakes than a heart full of regret. 

President-elect Truman

When I was a preschooler, my favorite joke asked, "What would you rather have chase you, an elephant or a gorilla?" And the answer, which tickled me down to my chubby little four-year-old toes, was, "I'd rather have the elephant chase the gorilla."

Yeah, I know, not very funny, but I still like that way of thinking. Yeah, sure  it's better to make mistakes than have regrets, but given my druthers, I'd rather bail out on both of those lousy options. I say, let the elephant chase the gorilla again.  He needs the exercise.

If the truth be known, everybody makes mistakes. Most of us have the good fortune of screwing up on a semi-private level, though, so few people ever find out about our grievous gaffes. Most of us don't, say, find our errors and lapses in judgement emblazoned across the headlines of a newspaper for all the world to see.

One of the biggest journalistic boners of all time happened on November 3, 1948, when the Chicago Daily Tribune declared Dewey the new president of the United States. Oopsie moment, big time.

The following headlines don't even come close to that level of journalistic screw-up, but I found them amusing, and hope they give y'all a few smiles, too.

                                                                                 
                                                                                  

                                                                                                                                                                                

                                                                                 

                                                                               

                                                                                  

                                                                             

                                                                                 

Well, that's all I got for today. But then again, some days, a smile is more than enough.

Hmmm, I think I'll go find myself a gorilla to chase. (I could use the exercise, too.)

Until next time, take care of yourselves. And each other.