Making a Difference

Thought for the day:  We can't all do great things in life, but we can all do small things with great love. [Mother Teresa]

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With temperatures still high enough to sizzle an egg on the sidewalk, it's hard to believe summer break is over, and the new school year is already underway. Thinking about our grandchildren being back in school reminded me once again of just how important teachers are. Their attitudes and interactions with young people can leave indelible impressions... whether good or bad... that can last for a lifetime. I suspect that all of us, no matter how young or old, can name at least one favorite teacher. (Right?)

Anyhow, that's what this post is about... on the surface, anyway. It's about a story I read some years ago about how one very special teacher made a huge difference in the life of a young boy. First, a little background. Three Letters From Teddy was written in 1976 by a gal named Elizabeth Ballard, and was published in a small Christian magazine. Since then, variations of her original story, tidbits of which the author drew from real life, have been used by many other writers and inspirational speakers over the years. In fact, copies of her story were sent to every teacher in the state of Colorado in 1998, and later that year, Paul Harvey read it on-air as a piece of news. When interviewed in 2001, the author, now named Elizabeth Ungar, expressed disappointment that her piece of creative writing continues to be passed around, both on and off the Internet... without her name attached... as though it were a true story.

Okay, so it isn't a 100% true story, and there was no real Teddy, as portrayed in the story, and there was no real Mrs. Thompson, as portrayed in the story, but other children... and adults... with problems do exist, and the genuine compassion of real teachers... and other real people... most definitely does make a difference. Those real truths contained within Ms. Ungar's story explain its longevity, and the fact that it continues to resonate and inspire. We want to believe.

Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle. [author unknown]

So, with a nod and a tip of the hat to Ms. Ungar, are you ready for a Swiderski-ized version of her tale? Here goes...

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As she stood in front of her fifth grade class on the first day of school, Mrs. Thompson couldn't help but notice Teddy, the slovenly boy slumped in the back row, and she silently resigned herself to the fact that he was going to be a royal pain in her sizable keister all year long. According to his fourth grade teacher, he didn't work or play well with others, he dressed like a slob, and was constantly in need of a bath. In a nutshell, the boy had an uncanny knack for being a trouble-maker.

[image by Gianne Rensen V. Antonio]

As the weeks went by, the boy turned out to be exactly what she'd expected. Everything she'd been told about him was true.

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Each year, she reviewed the past records of all her students, and for whatever reason, she looked at Teddy's records last. When she did, she was mortified. His first grade teacher wrote, Teddy is a bright child with a ready laugh. He does his work neatly, and has good manners... he is a joy to be around. His second grade teacher wrote, Teddy is an excellent student, well-liked by his classmates, but he is troubled, because his mother has a terminal illness, and life at home must be a struggle. His third grade teacher wrote, His mother's death has been hard on him. He tries to do his best, but his father doesn't show much interest, and his home life will soon affect him if some steps aren't taken. And his fourth grade teacher added, Teddy is withdrawn and doesn't show much interest in school. He doesn't have many friends, and he sometimes sleeps in class. 

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 Mrs. Thompson was ashamed of herself, and felt even worse in December, when her students brought her Christmas presents. All of them were wrapped in beautiful ribbons and bright paper... except for Teddy's. His was clumsily wrapped in a brown paper bag.  Inside was a rhinestone bracelet with missing stones, and a nearly-empty bottle of perfume. When she opened it, some of the children started to laugh at first, but she quickly quieted them when she exclaimed about how pretty the bracelet was, and put it on. Then she dabbed a bit of the perfume on her wrist. Teddy stayed after school that day just long enough to say, "Today you smelled just like my Mom used to."

After all the children left, she cried, and that was the day she quit teaching reading, writing and arithmetic, and began to teach children... and she paid particular attention to Teddy every day.  As she worked with him, his mind seemed to come alive. The more she encouraged him, the faster he responded. By the end of the year, Teddy had blossomed into one of the smartest children in her class.

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A year later, she found a note from him under the door to her classroom, telling her she was the best teacher he'd ever had.

 Six years after that, she got a letter from him. He told her he'd finished high school, third in his class, and she was still the best teacher he'd ever had.

Four years later, she got a second letter, saying that while things had been tough at times, he'd stayed in school, had stuck with it, and would soon graduate from college with the highest of honors. He told her yet again that she was still the best and favorite teacher he'd ever had.

The third letter came four years later. This time he explained that after he got his bachelor's degree, he decided to go a little further. The letter explained that she was still the best and favorite teacher he ever had, but now his name was a little longer. The letter was signed, Theodore F. Stoddard, MD.

The story doesn't end there. Mrs. Thompson heard from Teddy again, telling her he'd met a girl, and was planning to get married. He said his father had died a couple years earlier, and he wanted to know if Mrs. Thompson would be willing to come to his wedding, and to sit in the place that was usually reserved for the mother of the groom.

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She, of course, went to the wedding, and she humbly sat in the mother-of-the-groom seat.  And she proudly wore the bracelet and perfume he'd given her so many years before.

When they hugged each other, he whispered in her ear, "Thank you so much for believing in me. You made me feel important, and showed me that I could make a difference." 

With tears in her eyes, Mrs. Thompson whispered back to him, "You've got it all wrong, Teddy. You're the one who taught me that I could make a difference. I didn't know how to teach until I met you."

                                   *****

It's a great story, isn't it? And one of the greatest things about it is that it speaks to all of us. Teachers carry a huge burden of trying to make a positive difference in the lives of the children in their classrooms, but each of us can make a difference, too. We may not make a living standing in front of a classroom, but we do interact with people every day. Our attitude towards them can make a difference. A kind word, a smile... they can both make a difference. Every day, each of us has the potential to be the bright spot in someone else's day. A kind word of encouragement from us has the potential to give someone the strength to continue. Quite a responsibility, eh? But we can do it. Our name may not be Mrs. Thompson... but I'm very confident that we can be just as compassionate.

                                        Until next time, take care of yourselves. And each other.

In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirits. [Albert Schweitzer]

Hell! Why not aim to BE one of those people who rekindle inner spirits? [me]

Try to be a rainbow in someone's cloud.  [Maya Angelou]

One kind word can warm three winters. [Japanese proverb]

Appreciation can make a day, even change a life. Your willingness to put it into words is all that is necessary.  [Margaret Cousins]

Be careful of your words. Once they are said, they can only be forgiven, not forgotten. [author unknown]

I had a friend who believed in me, and I didn't have the heart to let him down.[Abraham Lincoln]

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CLASS DISMISSED!!!

Of Mockingbirds and Cowbirds

Thought for the day:  Before I can live with other folks, I've got to live with myself. The one thing that doesn't abide by majority rule is a person's conscience. [Harper Lee]

Receiving the Presidential Medal of Freedom, 2005 [wikipedia]

Nelle Harper Lee had strong opinions about right, wrong, and the role of conscience, but she never sought fame or fortune. In 1964, she said,

I never expected any sort of success with "Mockingbird." I was hoping for a quick and merciful death at the hands of the reviewers but, at the same time, I sort of hoped someone would like it enough to give me encouragement. Public encouragement. I hoped for a little, as I said, but I got rather a whole lot, and in some ways, this was just about as frightening as the quick merciful death I'd expected. 

Last week, Ms. Lee passed away peacefully in her sleep, so she finally got that merciful death she was talking about, but whether she wanted it or not, she also got plenty of attention over the years because of her book, too. She never wanted to be in the limelight, but ever since To Kill a Mockingbird was published to great critical acclaim in 1960, she's been one of the most celebrated and beloved writers of our time. She rarely gave interviews or made public appearances, but she did accept numerous awards and honorary degrees over the years, beginning with the Pulitzer Prize for literature in 1961... but she adamantly refused to make a speech while accepting them. As she put it, Well, it's better to be silent than to be a fool. 

But she most definitely was not a fool. In 1964, when a school board in Virginia wanted to ban her book on the grounds of it being immoral literature, she wrote them the following letter:


Recently I have received echoes down this way of the Hanover County School Board's activities, and what I've heard makes me wonder if any of its members can read.

Surely it is plain to the simplest intelligence that To Kill a Mockingbird spells out in words of seldom more than two syllables a code of honor and conduct, Christian in its ethic, that is the heritage of all Southerners. To hear that the novel is 'immoral' has made me count the years between now and 1984, for I have yet to come across a better example of doublethink.

I feel, however, that the problem is one of illiteracy, not Marxism. Therefore I enclose a small contribution to the Beadle Bumble Fund that I hope will be used to enroll the Hanover County School Board in any first grade of its choice.

(Isn't that letter GREAT???

In a 2011 interview, longtime family friend Reverend Thomas Butts revealed what Lee, or Nelle, as her friends knew her, had told him regarding why she had never written another book: 

Two reasons: one, I wouldn't go through the pressure and publicity I went through with "To Kill a Mockingbird" for any amount of money. Second, I have said what I wanted to say, and I will not say it again. 

So isn't it kind of surprising that she agreed to last year's publication of the re-discovered manuscript of her Go Set a Watchman? In essence, it isn't a sequel to Mockingbird, but rather, an early, unpolished draft of Mockingbird itself. I haven't read it, and don't know if I ever will, because I don't think I want to see Atticus Finch portrayed as a racist. How about you? Any of you read it? If you have, I'd love to know what you think.

May Nelle Harper Lee rest in peace, happily out of the limelight, and may her Mockingbird continue to inspire readers for many generations to come. Here are some of her more memorable quotes:

• You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view... until you climb inside of his skin and walk around in it.
• Real courage is when you know you're licked before you begin, but you begin anyway and see it through, no matter what.
• Until I feared I would lose it, I never loved to read. One does not love breathing.
• I think there's one kind of folks. Folks.
• Sometimes, the Bible in the hand of one man is worse than the whiskey bottle in the hand of another... There are just some kind of men who're so busy worrying about the next world, they've never learned to live in this one.
• People generally see what they look for, and hear what they listen for.
• People in their right minds never take pride in their talents.
• You just hold your head high, and keep those fists down. No matter what anybody says to you, don't you let 'em get your goat. Try fightin' with your head for a change. 

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Do you remember the significance of the mockingbird in Ms. Lee's book? It is described as a songbird that does nothing but bring pleasure to people, and Atticus told Scout it's a sin to kill one of them. Within the context of the book, the mockingbird has most commonly been recognized as a symbol for innocence. 

photo by Galawebdesing [wikipedia]

Which brings me to the other part of this post. The cowbird part. Not saying those birds are inherently guilty, but they do lay their eggs in the nests of other birds, relieving them of the responsibilities of nest-building and raising their young. (I realize some mockingbirds do the same, but for the sake of argument, let's ignore that inconvenient little fact for now, shall we?) 

Now then, let's talk about cowbird-like people. You know, the ones who can't be bothered to raise their children in a responsible manner. John Rosemond, who writes a syndicated column on parenting, recently wrote an excellent article about the rights of children. According to him, one of those rights is to not be protected from the consequences of their actions. You've gotta know who I'm thinking about here. Ethan Couch, the privileged teenager who killed four people while driving under the influence of alcohol and drugs, and faced scant consequences, because of his Affluenza defense, which essentially claimed his (cowbird) parents had coddled him into a sense of irresponsibility. I've already written two posts about this case and his flight to Mexico after breaking his probation, so I won't belabor it now, but I wanted to give you a quick update. Shortly after I wrote the last post about him, he stopped fighting extradition, and was returned to the States. Last Friday, he appeared before a Texas judge, who ruled that the case WILL be handled in adult court this time. That means he will most likely be sentenced to four months or so behind bars before resuming his ten years of probation, and if he breaks probation again, he could get up to ten years in jail for each of the people he killed. For now, he is being held in maximum security, and in solitary confinement for 23 hours out of 24. Think he's taking it seriously now? With any luck, maybe, just maybe, he will develop the kind of conscience Harper Lee so famously wrote about. For his sake, I sincerely hope so.

                                                        Okay, bye... gotta fly!

                                Until next time, take care of yourselves. And each other.