Know How to Play 'Em

Thought for the day: Never play poker with the world's fastest animal, because he's a cheetah.

[image courtesy of morguefile]

You like to play cards? It's been far too long since I've played, but I never met a card game I didn't enjoy. Before I started school, playing poker taught me how to count. (Took me a while to stop saying jack after ten, though... HA! Just kidding. Sorta.)

Tell ya what. We're going to play a virtual game of cards today, and what's more... we're all gonna win, because I'm dealing us all the same hand. We're going to consider five different things, and I'm gonna assign a value to each one. (Hey! My blog, my rules!)

The key to success is playing the hand you were dealt like it was the hand you wanted.

[image: wikipedia]

Recognize this flower? It's a lotus blossom. Gorgeous, isn't it? Can you imagine a building designed in the image of one of these beautiful flowers?

Imagine it no more, because I'm going to show you such a thing. It's the Wujen Lotus Conference Center in China. This breathtaking building rises above a two-story subterranean municipal facility that lies beneath a man-made lake. The lotus part of the building houses part of the city's planning bureau, as well as some meeting rooms and conference centers. I declare this building to be our ACE. Rather than show you a mere static shot of our top card, how about a short video?

Now for our KING: I reckon 75-year old John Brooker, of Norfolk, England, was getting a wee bit bored with life as a retiree. So he spent thirteen years shaping a one-hundred foot dragon from his ten-foot tall privet hedge. What a guy, huh? (He can trim our hedges any ol' time... and there's no need for anything fancy, either. I'm happy if they're more or less the the same height...)

[image: wikipedia, courtesy of Schwedde66]

And now for our QUEEN.

The Golden Bridge, near DaNang, Vietnam, which opened earlier this year, is a footbridge connecting a cable car station to the gardens at Ba Na Hill resort. Two giant stone hands rise from the ground, as though Mother Nature herself were supporting it.

Our fourth card is a TEN. For a pair of SHOES, you  might wonder? Nope, for the company that makes them. In March of this year, Adidas announced that it had sold its millionth pair of Ultraboost shoes. (AKA ten to the sixth power...) Big deal, you say? After all, look at all the mediocre burgers McD's has managed to sell, right? But there's something different about these shoes. Something special. Believe it or not, they're made of salvaged ocean trash. In 2016, Adidas partnered with Parley for the Oceans, a global network of researchers seeking ways to rescue our oceans, and each pair of Ultraboost shoes is made from eleven discarded plastic bottles that were removed from our oceans, beaches, and coastal communities. One shoe at a time, one step at a time, they're making a difference.

Our last card is a...JOKER. A wild card... but we can make it a jack to complete our winning royal flush.

It's the Ryugyong Hotel in Pyongyang, North Korea, and it's the tallest unfinished skyscraper in the world. Shaped like a pyramid, this 105-story, 1080-foot behemoth was begun in 1987, with much fanfare, of course, but construction came to an abrupt halt in 1992, after the fall of the Soviet Union. Like a giant abandoned ghost, it loomed over the city without windows or any interior work until 2008, when an infusion of money from Egyptian Orascom Telecommunications enabled the construction to begin anew. The exterior was finally completed in 2011, and a partial grand opening was announced for 2013, but it never happened. Still hasn't happened. Still isn't finished. Mysteries linger over whether it will ever open, or if more than a handful of people will ever get a peek inside. It sits dark and ominous, with nothing but a single night light at its tips to alert airplane pilots to its lurking presence.

So there ya have it... our winning royal flush. Come to think of it, in a way, life is kinda like a card game. To win big, you have to stifle your fear and go all in every once in a while. Sure, there are times it'd be easier to give up, to simply fold rather than to play the hand you've been dealt, but you can't win if you don't play. Believe in yourself. Think life has been stacking the deck against you? Nah, life's no four flusher... it's not a cheetah. But when the chips are down, only you can decide if what you want is worth the effort. Maybe, instead of folding, you should up the ante and try even harder. As far as the future goes, it's full of wild cards, because we never know for sure what's coming, but we do have the power to make of it what we will. One thing for sure: as far as value goes, you guys are all blue chips. Every single one of you, and THAT... you can bet on!

                               Until next time, take care of yourselves. And each other.

We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the game. [Randy Pausch, professional poker player]

One Block at a Time

Thought for the day:  During darkened conditions,  a bare foot can serve quite well as an inexpensive device for finding every missing LEGO®  left lying on the floor. 

[morguefile]

When we were kids, we played with erector sets and Tinkertoys, which are both probably considered far too dangerous for children to have in today's world. Too many sharp edges, I suppose. As opposed to LEGOs®, which are definitely more colorful, and allegedly much safer. (Ever step on one of them? They feel pretty darned sharp to me...)

At any rate, they're a lot of fun for kids of all ages. (Just between you and me, Smarticus and I may or may not have been known to remain on the floor assembling some of those brightly-colored marvels long after the grandchildren have lost interest and moved onto something else.)

When we visited the Atlanta Botanical Gardens in 2014, I shared some pictures of the fabulous  mosaicultures they had on exhibit. Well, towards the end of last year, we visited the new branch of the Gardens, located in Gainesville, where a LEGO® exhibit was on display. Let's just say the stuff they had there is a heckuva lot more sophisticated than I ever imagined anyone building with those blocks. Wanta see...?

This first one is rather simple. (Albeit, beyond my skill level.) It shows a couple squirrels and birds at a feeder.

Here's a closer look at a couple of the birds.

A gardener tending a plant.

A true-to-life sized roto-tiller.

A sundial.The bushes surrounding the dial had clocks hanging from them. (Yes, that's my shadow... time for me to pay more attention...)

A hummingbird and trumpet plant.

A mallard duck and his babies... and an egg.

Praying mantis.

A woodpecker on a tree that's wrapped in a web of red yarn.

A majestic bald eagle.

A corn snake... according to the sign at the gardens. According to my brother, who KNOWS his snakes, it's actually a milk snake.

And a monarch butterfly.

Pretty cool, huh? The gardens in Gainesville are considerable smaller than the ones in Atlanta, but they're still quite lovely, and feature lots of walking trails through the surrounding woods, too. It made for a terrific way to spend a beautiful day in the great outdoors.

[morguefile]

Oh, and check out this picture. This most impressive LEGO® knight and dragon weren't at the gardens; I found this pic on morguefile. The things some talented people can make out of these simple, but ingenious, blocks, is nothing short of amazing. Seems to me, there must be some sort of lesson to be learned from this...

There is strength in numbers. When the bricks stick together, great things can be accomplished. [Steve Klusmeyer]

And that's all from this brick... or more like blockhead... for now.

                            Until next time, take care of yourselves. And each other.

Some of Our Favorite Minions

Thought for the day:  The reason we grandparents get along so well with our grandchildren is we have so much in common. The kids are enjoying their first childhood, and we're enjoying our second. 

L to R: Jaiden, Devyn, Aaron, their cousin McKenzie, and Kymber

As always, we had a super-duper time with our grandchildren this past weekend. Among other things, we share a common appreciation for the very best in sophisticated potty humor, general silliness, and... the Despicable Me movies. We especially love the minions. So, natch, we all piled into two cars on Saturday, and ventured out to see the Minions Movie. 

In addition to the five cuties in the picture, our group also included our son, daughter-in-law, and her thirteen-year-old sister. Oh, and Smarticus and me. To tell the truth, Smarticus and I were somewhat dubious about the wisdom of trying to see this movie the day after its release... and on a Saturday, yet. I had visions of what Saturday matinees looked like back in the fifties... you know, with hordes of rowdy kids making lots of rude noises, while throwing candy and popcorn at each other. (Wet root beer barrel candies reeeeeally stick well in hair... or (ahem) so I've heard...) But no. Our son was right, and we were wrong. The theater wasn't even all that crowded. And I must say, the kids who were there were very well behaved. So we really enjoyed ourselves. It's a super fun movie, and when I asked Aaron afterwards what his favorite part was, he said, "The whole movie!" So there ya have it. A two thumbs up from the Swiderski clan.

And now, while I continue in catch-up mode, how about a re-run?  The following post originally ran in October of 2012 under the title, Never Too Old to Play.

***********************

Thought for the day:  It is utterly false and cruelly arbitrary to put all the play and learning into childhood, all the work into middle age, and all the regrets into old age.  [Margaret Mead]

We can never be young again, but doggone it, that doesn't mean we can't enjoy our second childhood. As many a psychiatrist has said, it's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to us.

Even the ol' pessimist Fredrich Nietzsche said, In every real man a child is hidden that wants to play.

And Plato said, Life must be lived as play.

Jeez Louise, who are we to argue with those guys? I mean, they were two seriously smart dudes.

So play we must.

Let's investigate our capacity for fun, shall we? Do you have any toys left from your childhood? I only have a few.

It was pretty much the standard in our extended family to pass toys around. Whatever toys I received from my older cousins, I'd later pass on to the younger ones, so I was really surprised to come across this little china tea cup in my parents' house when we were cleaning it out after my father died. As far as I know, it's the only piece remaining from the tea set I played with as a little girl. I don't exactly play with it anymore, but it makes me smile every time I look at it.

This is the only original toy I've kept in my possession since childhood. My aunt made the pouch in about 1954 or so, and my ball and jacks have resided in it ever since. At one time, some of the jacks were brightly colored, others were shiny, and the ball actually bounced. (Now the ball kinda goes THUD.)

These little China dolls were sent to me in the late '50s by military friends who were stationed in Japan. The dolls sat on display  in my mother's china cabinet for years, and over time, the elastic bands holding the arms and legs gave up the ghost. About twenty-five years ago, my father replaced the bands, and my parents sent the dolls to me as a Christmas surprise.














Okay, second question: Since you've been an adult, have you ever bought a toy for yourself?

I did.

What can I say?

I fell in love with Alf.








Okay, here's another one for you. Have you ever bought a toy for your child or grandchild because you wanted to play with it? Boy, oh, boy, have I ever! I could hardly wait for my kids to be old enough to play Stratego, to build models, and to create magic with an erector set. Reading my favorite children's books to my kids and grandkids is even more enjoyable than it was when I read them for the first time as a child.

Does anybody still buy you toys?

Smarticus and I usually give each other fun little gadgets to play with, because we're both overgrown kids at heart. But my favorite... my absolute favorite toy he ever got me is this:

Can you believe it???? It's a genuine original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Bubble Bomber!!! Woo HOO!

Every time I saw the commercial for this toy on TV, I went nuts for it. Kept telling my hubby how I wished our kids were younger so we could buy it for them. (Right.) And ta-DA, he gave it to me for my birthday! (Can that man take a hint, or what???)

It is the coolest thing ever! You put in soap solution and a little bit of cooking oil, which warms up, so when you release a bubble bomb, it's filled with smoke. The bubble hits the ground, goes POP, and out comes the smoke. It's probably been close to thirty years since he gave it to me, and I still love it. It is still the coolest toy ever. (One of these days, I suppose I should let the grandchildren play with it...)

                                                    Okay, one last one to show you.

Isn't he adorable? When you squeeze his belly, he wolf whistles, and says, "I go bananas over you."

                                              Your turn. Tell me about your toys.

A child who does not play is not a child, but the man who doesn't play has lost forever the child who lived in him and who he will miss terribly.  [Pablo Neruda]

[source: seniorark.com]

Oh yeah, I've got a really neat jump rope, too, and a couple hula hoops. Last time I jumped rope with some of the grandkids, I fell on my arse. I thought it was hysterical, but my son and husband were mortified. Said I couldn't play anymore.

Think that'll stop me from playing next time ...?


Oh, no, no, no. I'll just be more cautious.

                                    Until next time, take care of yourselves. And each other.

                                                I will not play tug o' war.
                                                I'd rather play hug o' war.
                                               Where everyone hugs instead of tugs,
                                               Where everyone giggles and rolls on the rug,
                                               Where everyone kisses and everyone grins,
                                               And everyone cuddles, and everyone wins.
                                                             [Shel Silverstein]

******************

One last thing. I thought you might like a simple summer recipe. I used to cook and cut up chicken breasts to make this salad, but this time, I picked up a rotisserie chicken on sale. Smarticus and I ate the wings and legs so it couldn't get away, and then I cut up the white meat. (Reserving some, of course, for our resident felines.)

To the cut-up chicken, add cooked pasta. Small shells, elbows, whatever. Add chopped celery, chopped onions, and halved grapes, both red and green, as well as canned mandarin oranges, mayo, and curry powder to taste. It's simple to make, and reeeeeeeally good. It's also tasty when made with shrimp instead of chicken. Heck, I'll bet it's even good without any meat at all...

(If you're interested in the actual recipe with actual measurements, let me know. I'm sure I must have the original recipe around here somewhere...)

                                      Until next time, take care of yourselves. And each other.

Gone... Fishing?

Thought for the day:  When you come to the edge of the light that you know, and you are about to step off into the darkness of the unknown, faith is knowing that one of two things will happen. There will be something to land on, or you will learn how to fly. [anonymous]

You like to go fishing? I do, but it's been years since I've had a rod and reel in my hands. Okay, so technically, I didn't have a rod and reel in my hands in that picture, either, but I'm sure I was just (ahem) taking a little break. After all, we used to head out before the sun came up, and reeling in those monstrous sunfish is hard work, ya know.

So, am I going fishing this weekend? Not exactly. But I'm gonna be doing something pretty cool, and in a way, I will be fishing for something...

Nope, I'm not gonna be jumping out of an airplane or flying a hot air balloon, either, although I'm sure my navigational skills would easily be on par with the clever person controlling the balloon in that picture.

Bottom line? I'm gonna be away from the computer until some time next week. In the meantime, I'll leave you with a re-run of a post which first ran more than two years ago under the title Wonderful Wednesday. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know it isn't Wednesday, but just pretend, okay? See y'all next week. By Friday at the latest. I hope you have a super weekend. Hey! Why not... go fishing?

(I hope I catch more than this dude!)

****************

Thought for the day: Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.

Have you ever noticed that Wednesdays don't get much love? A Wednesday is what one of my friends would call, "a red-headed step-child." It certainly doesn't get revered like a weekend day, but then again, it doesn't get maligned like poor Monday, either. But I'll bet you never heard anyone say, "Thank God it's Wednesday!" Face it. Wednesday doesn't get much attention at all.

At the very best, some people call it "Hump Day", and depending on your perspective, that might not be all bad. But at least for this day, for this week, I'm declaring today Wonderful Wednesday. You hereby have permission, nay, an imperative to squeeze every bit of enjoyment out of this day as you possibly can. Come to think of it, that wouldn't be a bad way to approach every day, would it?

I was planning to write about the joys of growing older today. Really! There ARE some! There are many things for which I can be grateful. (Like I'm very grateful that wrinkles don't hurt.) But, alas and alack, that dear lady Linda Grimes beat me to the punch today with her blog. Great minds think alike, eh?

So, instead, I'll tell you a couple stories. The first is the tale of what has to be one of the luckiest young men in the world. While hiking in Utah in 2005, the then 21-year-old got caught in an avalanche. No, no, wait! That's not the lucky part. Here it comes: would you believe this young man RODE the avalanche an amazing 1000 feet down a ridge -- FEET-FIRST -- and then walked away with nothing but minor injuries?! (And one HECK of a story!)

 I mean, can you IMAGINE this??? Talk about the ultimate rush. That had to have been an experience that young man will NEVER forget. And I hope he yelled a joyous YEE-HAAAA the whole ride down.

Sometimes, it feels like we're all caught in an avalanche of time, doesn't it?  The days, the weeks, the years, they all fly by so quickly, and the best we can do is hold on for dear life, "ride it out", and hopefully, stay on our feet the whole way down.

Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving in a pretty and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming, "WOW! What a ride!"

Don't you love that quote? Wish I knew where it originated. It's one that many people have sent me over the years, but never with attribution. Nonetheless, let's all aim to try to live this Wonderful Wednesday with that young man's glorious ride, and that glorious quote, in mind.

The other story is about a young bride and one of the first meals she prepared for her new husband.

It was a beautiful ham, but before roasting it, this lovely young bride whacked off a large chunk of the meat and chucked it straight into the garbage can. This immediately prompted her astonished (and financially responsible) husband to ask his dearly beloved why-oh-why-dear-heart was she trashing what looked like a perfectly good piece of meat. The sweet young thing batted her eyelashes and said she did it because that's what her mother always did. So, the next time they saw her parents, the young man asked his mother-in-law about her unusual ham-cooking method. She said she did it that way because that's how HER mother always did it. By this time, the young bride was as curious as her husband, and they could hardly wait to hear Grandma's response to the riddle about the wasted hunk of ham. When they asked her, she laughed, and said, "I didn't have a pan big enough to hold the whole thing."

Isn't it funny how we sometimes get caught in traditions without questioning the purpose or logic behind them? Perhaps, in writing, we may meticulously follow the "old rules" without questioning whether they still apply, or if they're particularly well-suited for our particular style of writing. For example, I'm a real stickler for grammar, but (gasp!) I don't always write in full sentences. Some writers say that in the pursuit of creativity, anything goes. Wanta end a sentence with a preposition? Go for it! Split an infinitive? Have at it! Lift your head to the heavens and say, "I am writer! Hear me roar!" Then write what you want to write the way you want to write it.

Or not. What do you think?

OK, so I didn't write about growing older today, but I simply must share this delightful poem with you. It was written by the inimitable Maya Angelou.

When I was in my younger days, I weighed a few pounds less,
I needn't hold my tummy in to wear a belted dress.
But now that I am older, I've set my body free;
There's the comfort of elastic where once my waist would be.

Inventor of those high-heeled shoes, my feet have not forgiven;
I have to wear a nine now, but used to wear a seven.
And how about those pantyhose --- they're sized by weight, you see,
So how come when I put them on, the crotch is at my knee?

I need to wear these glasses, as the print's been getting smaller;
And it wasn't very long ago I know that I was taller.
Though my hair has turned to gray and my skin no longer fits,
On the inside, I'm the same old me, it's the outside's changed a bit.

On that note, I'll say goodbye for now. Be kind to yourselves. And each other.

Kicking a Few Things Around

Thought for the day:  In football, everything is complicated by the presence of the opposite team.  [Jean-Paul Sartre]

Okay, so granted, Sartre was probably talking about that other kind of football, the one we Americans call soccer, but it's still a nifty quote. And although soccer is a nifty game, we're not gonna talk about it today. Nope, we're gonna kick around some stuff about American football.

You a football fan? We're rabid avid Falcons fans. Our kids and grandkids, too. See? Even though they live in Florida, our younger son and his baby boy were all decked out in style to watch the Falcons play this past Sunday. (Too bad da Birds didn't win. Wait 'til next week, though!)


RAH! RAH! Now that football season has started, I figured I'd blatantly seize the opportunity to explain a couple football happenings from my novel Hot Flashes and Cold Lemonade. (Aw, crap, she's talking about her damned book again.)

NO, no, now wait. Hold on. I'm not pimping my book. A couple readers questioned these two items is all, so I thought I'd remind y'all that I wrote a book address them here. You might even find it interesting.

Characters MaryBeth and Willie go to a Washington Redskins game, and a reader from Baltimore wanted to know why the heck they didn't go to a Baltimore Ravens game, fuh cryin' out loud.

Well, Baltimore's in love with the Ravens now, but that wasn't always the case. Its first love was the Colts, who played there from 1953 until 1983, when they slunk out of town under cover of darkness to move to Indianapolis. After that infamous departure, many locals threw their heart-broken support to the Redskins. Our story takes place in the late '90s, and although the Ravens started playing in Baltimore in '97, some fans were reticent about supporting the newbies, so they stuck with the Redskins for a while. Ergo, MaryBeth and Willie went to a Redskins game. (Plus, I had an ulterior motive for getting them on the Baltimore-Washington Parkway.)

Big Georgette and Boss Hog

Much to my surprise, the other question came from my very own Smarticus. He wanted to know what the deal was about them wearing pig snouts at the game. (Oh, like that's any dumber than fans wearing a big block of cheese on their heads?)

Anyhow, in the 1980s, the 'Skins offensive line was... how shall I put this... large. Very large, as in super-sized. Their coach Joe Bugel called them... the hogs. (Ah-HA!)

Yep, so beginning in 1983, twelve male 'Skins fans... dubbed the Hogettes...  started donning dresses and pig snouts to every game to cheer on their team. (They also raised a considerable amount of money for charity.)

When this iconic group retired in 2012, it had twelve active members and fifteen former ones. Three were inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame as part of the VISA Hall of Fans. (I'll betcha the hall has inducted at least one cheesehead, too.)

Bottom line? This group started wearing snouts in honor of the original hogs of the early '80s, and other fans quickly followed suit. ( No telling how many of the fans who wear them to games today know why they wear them, but now... you do.)

With a new season underway, football fans are... floating on air.

Hey! How's about some football funnies? Believe it or not, these are actual quotes:

• Joe Theisman- Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein. (Um, yeah. Good ol'... Norman.)
• Torrin Polk- (talking about his coach) He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings. (Heck, why not? Joe Namath wore pantyhose.)
• George Rogers- I want to rush for 1000 or 1500 yards, whichever comes first. (I'm thinking this guy probably wasn't a math major.)
• Bill Peterson- (former Oilers coach) You guys line up alphabetically by height. Peterson also gets credit for this one: Men, I want you just thinking of one word all season. One word and one word only: Super Bowl. (Math wasn't his strong suit, either.)
• Dick Butkus- I wouldn't ever set out to hurt anyone deliberately unless it was important — like a league game. (Aren't all NFL games league games?)
• William Perry- I've been big ever since I was little. (And he was, too! AKA Refrigerator, Perry was 200 pounds at the age of eleven!)
• Jerry Rice- I feel like I'm the best, but you're not going to get me to say that. (No, of course not.)
• Thomas Henderson- (referring to Terry Bradshaw) He couldn't spell cat if you spotted him the C and the T. (Now that's just mean.)
• Joe Namath- I don't know if I prefer Astroturf to grass. I never smoked Astroturf. (He probably couldn't get it to light.)
• John Elway- I normally run the 40-yard dash in 4.9, but when a 280-pound guy is chasing me, I run it in 4.6. (Darned good incentive to step it up a bit, I'd say.)

*****

                                               Half-pint footballers pull off quite a trick:

                                    Here's a little something for you fans of that other football.

                                                                       ( Happy?)

                                    Until next time, take care of yourselves. And each other.

Football is like life— it requires perseverance, self-denial, hard work, sacrifice, dedication, and respect for authority.  [Vince Lombardi]

Football is the ballet of the masses.  [Dmitri Shostakovich]

I like football. I find it's an exciting strategic game. It's a great way to avoid conversation with your family on Thanksgiving.  [Craig Ferguson]

A Perfect Blendship

Thought for the day:  Friends are the bacon bits in the salad bowl of life.

Last weekend was all about hanging out with family and playing with the grandchildren, and believe me, it was great. This weekend is gonna be about hanging out with a terrific couple we haven't seen for a while, and it's gonna be great, too. Bottom line? I'm gonna do another fly-by post and then disappear from the Internet until next Friday.

Friends are people who know the song in your heart, and can sing it back to you when you forget the words.

Well, to tell the truth, we probably won't be doing a lot of singing. But we will be making a good bit of noise. We always do.We, um,  laugh. A lot. The kind of laughing that makes your sides hurt. We may also drink a tad too much. (But just a tad.) Laugh some more. Swap lies, and trade tales. Play Scrabble and other games until we can't see straight. Make new memories. And laugh some more.

Kati and I might even do a little...  shopping.

Heck, who knows? Maybe the four of us will chill in the hot tub for a while.

Everyone hears what you say.
Friends listen to what you say.
Best friends listen to what you don't say.

Not only does smarty pants Cliff know all about us, he remembers every story and experience we've ever shared with him, and knows precisely when to bring them up again for maximum effect. Which naturally begets more laughter.

And more laughter. (Okay, I admit it. The booze may up the hilarity a bit, too.)

Yep, for the next few days, all we have to do is enjoy ourselves, and try to keep the animals out of the Scrabble box.









I hope y'all enjoy your Labor Day weekend. I know we will.

                                        Until next time, take care of yourselves. And each other.