Really? You've gotta be kidding me.
A ZIT? Right on the tip of my nose? Not just a polite little white pimple, either. This proud puppy looks like it's ticked off at the world, and to tell ya the truth, if it gets much bigger, it may qualify for its own zip code. It's ... it's ... well, it's just plain UNDIGNIFIED is what it is. Not at ALL grandmotherly looking.
Oh well, if nothing else, this thing should help keep me humble, right? I mean, it's hard to get too full of myself when there's a flipping horn growing out of my nose. Ah, what the heck? I've always liked unicorns.
Psychotherapist and radio talk show host Dr. Laura used to say, Gratitude is an attitude. Whether you like her or not, I think she was right about that. ( I don't have to rejoice over the zit, but I can certainly be grateful for the nose it's growing on, right?)
The most memorable lesson I ever received about gratitude came from the book The Hiding Place.
She gave thanks for the fleas.
Yes, the fleas. Can you imagine? The infestation in her tent was so bad, the guards refused to enter it. And because they stayed away, she was able to hold Bible studies in there, and to pray in peace.
There's something terribly humbling about the image of someone expressing sincere gratitude for something as vile and loathsome as fleas, isn't there? Kinda puts things in perspective. Every time I start to feel a little ungrateful for something petty like this stupid pimple, I think of those fleas. And I make a conscious effort to ratchet up the gratitude. Come to think of it, maybe this gigantic pimple is intended to remind me of my gigantic blessings. And just in time for Thanksgiving, too.
Okay, how about some silly Thanksgiving riddles? Ready? Here goes.
- What sort of glass should you use to serve cream of turkey soup? A goblet.
- What's Alan Alda's favorite Thanksgiving dish? M*A*S*Hed potatoes.
- What do you call sweet potatoes that are very outspoken? Candid yams.
- If I have relatives with Mohawk haircuts, multiple facial piercings, and a bunch of tattoos, what should I serve them for dessert? Punk kin pie.
- Not only was my neighbor's turkey infected with salmonella, but she undercooked it. Guess what all her guests suffered the next day? Yup, 'fraid so. The turkey trots.
- The local restaurant served overcooked turkey, lumpy gravy, and cold mashed potatoes. Know how they advertised it? As the blooperplate special.
- NYC is placing tall bleachers up and down Broadway so spectators can get a better view of what slightly renamed event? The May See Parade.
- What famous play about a Thanksgiving turkey was written by Henrik Ibsen? Hedda Gobbler.
Okay, enough groaners for now. Time to go spackle my nose with Noxzema, and try to get rid of this thing before I have to name it. (Hmmm, think we could claim it as a dependent?) And count my blessings. Care to join me? Check out this video It'll put ya in the right mood.
Until next time, take care of yourselves. And each other.