How to Bridge the Gap

Thought for the day:  Generation gap: A chasm, amorphously situated in time and space, that separates those who have grown up absurd from those that will, with luck, grow up absurd.  [Bernard Rosenberg]

I never saw anything about it in the Bible, but I wouldn't be at all surprised if someone told me the Old Testament Patriarchs had a major problem with how their teenage sons and daughters wore their hair... or talked... or walked. Heck, I wouldn't even be surprised if cavemen and women harassed their teens over the length of their loincloths.

 Because I suspect there has always been such a thing as ...

                                         The           Generation               Gap.

The problem is, young people insist on growing up, (the little ingrates) and they instinctively rebel against the restraints of childhood. Unfortunately, their chosen forms of self-expression and independence are rarely appreciated by the older generations. (Whose own means of self-expression weren't appreciated by their elders, either.) Don't believe me? Let's take a peek at some teenage fads over the years, shall we?

The older generation thought nothing of getting up at five every morning — and the younger generation doesn't think much of it, either.  [John J. Welsh]

Okay, so the fella in this picture doesn't look all that young, but young people are the ones who started the whole flagpole-sitting frenzy in the 1920s. I'm talking loooong periods of time sitting on a teensy platform mounted on a pole. Making and breaking longevity records. Why? Beats me. I wasn't around back then, but I'm pretty sure I would've been one of the bystanders popping salted peanuts and gawking up at the idiot perched atop a pole rather than being one of the idiots sitting up there myself. (Heck, I never even liked sitting on a banana seat...)

Of course, the twenties was the roaring era of flappers, jazz, raccoon coats, bright red lipstick, and the Charleston dance craze, too. Can you imagine how parents reacted to some of those trends? (gasp!) The girls even let their knees show!

It's hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.  [George Burns]

The thirties saw the onset of stoop ball and stick ball... which those lame-brained rebellious kids had the audacity to play right in the middle of the street. Okay, 'fess up. Any of you play those games? I did, only we called it curb ball, and I'd hazard a guess that parents were no happier about ball games played in the street in the '30s than they were in the '50s.

Swallowing live goldfish was one of the most popular fads of the '40s. Believe it or not, some kids claimed the goldfish were still alive when they came back out. I dunno about that, but I think we can all agree to a certain ick factor in the notion of anyone turning a pet goldfish into a twitching mid-afternoon snack.

There is nothing wrong with today's teenager that twenty years won't cure. [unknown]

The fifties boasted much more (ahem) sensible teenage fads such as poodle skirts, saddle shoes, and bobby socks. (Anybody remember sock hops?) Lots of guys wore shiny black Cuban-heeled shoes... or had taps on their shoes, so they made a distinctively cool sound when they walked through the school halls. And don't forget turned-up collars, black chino pants, and form-fitting white tee shirts with a pack of Camels tucked into a rolled-up sleeve.

Panty raids got their start in the fifties, too. The first one took place on March 21, 1952, at the University of Michigan, when about six hundred male students stormed a girls' dormitory, and exited with a bountiful booty of swiped underwear. This invasive fad continued across the country for the rest of the decade, and then fizzled out in the '60s. Makes sense. I reckon when the era of  free love blossomed, stealing undies seemed kinda lame... and tame...  by comparison.

Any of you guys recognize this haircut? Typically called the D.A., (short for duck's ass) the boys who wore it were often called greasers, because it took a healthy dab of grease to keep the hair in place. Thanks to stars like James Dean and Elvis Presley, long sideburns were popular, too. It's a pretty safe bet that there were a lot of inter-generational arguments over these hairdos. Especially since they came on the heels of crew cuts and flat tops.

Another fad of the fifties was telephone booth stuffing, where just like it sounds... the object was to squeeze ever-increasing numbers of kids into telephone booths. Or into little cars. Whatever. Not the most pleasant experience for the kids at the bottom of the heap, I'm sure. And not too terribly popular with their parents, either.

The sixties spawned tie-dye shirts, mini-skirts, go-go boots, granny glasses, hair ironing, bouffant hairdos, (Beehive, anyone?) Afros, mood rings, love beads, platform shoes, and bell-bottoms britches.



There was no respect for youth when I was young, and now that I am old, there is no respect for age — I missed it coming and going.  [J.B. Priestly]

Platform shoes hobbled onto the scene in the seventies. (I must confess: I still have a bright red patent leather pair.) I dunno if this was exactly a younger generation fad, since I was well past my teens then, but other fads included streaking, Earth shoes, string art, pet rocks, and ... ready? Eating glass. Yeah, glass. (Gives a whole new meaning to belly crunches, doesn't it?) That nutso fad started with a professional football player, who, I suppose, wanted to prove how tough (but not bright) he was by munching on beer mugs and light bulbs. Unfortunately, young people... especially college students... started to follow suit. Thank goodness, they wised up. I guess they saw the light.

Thanks largely to Madonna, fingerless lace gloves were all the rage in the '80s. Kinda cute, right? And harmless. I'm not sure if they started out as part of the Goth movement or not, but they certainly complemented the Goth look: all black clothes, dyed jet black hair, and even black nail polish and lipstick. Not my cuppa tea, but I guess that fad was harmless enough, too. They just looked like the leading edge of  the walking dead. Come to think of it, I guess they more resembled vampires. Without the fangs.

Body piercing and prolific tattoos became ultra-popular in the nineties, and are both still common today.

Most of the fads since then have been pretty tame. Low-rise jeans. (No worse than the hot pants we used to wear... just longer.) Thongs. (AKA tush floss.)

But there is one fad that absolutely positively drives me up the wall. Finally, and to the point of this post, I present to you one fad, and I can't help but wonder if it's a worldwide phenomenon, or if American youth are the only ones infected with this bizarre manner of so-called self expression...

                                                             

                                                           
                                                                I present to you

                                                       
                                                          the incomprehensible fad,


                                                          the fad driving adults nuts

                                                             
                                                          from one end of this country


                                                                   to the other.


                                                                I present the fad
                                                                 

                                                                     known as...


                                                                      sagging:

                                               

I mean, really? Do you think that's... comfortable? Suppose those kids had to run? Lotsa luck with that, huh? Every time I see kids with their pants drooping below their drawers, my fingers start to twitch, and I'm seized with an almost uncontrollable urge to yank up their britches so hard, it gives 'em all atomic wedgies. And it seems I'm not alone. Check this out:

How about you? Do you get this fad? Contrary to some of the emails you may have seen about it originating in prison as a way for an inmate to let other inmates know he's available for certain activities, that's just a bum steer. Droopy britches may very well have originated in prisons because of ill-fitting pants and no belts to hold them up, but according to multiple sources, it didn't have anything to do with sexual availability. Still... why would young people want to emulate something that may have originated in prison anyway, whatever the meaning?

(Then again, maybe we should just be grateful these kids aren't wearing thongs...?)

This whole post was predicated by a cartoon created by an award-winning Australian cartoonist named Tim Whyatt. Not only is he funny, but he nailed the solution to this angst-inspiring fad of low-hanging pants and exposed skivvies in one of his cartoons. What's more, he agreed to let me share his cartoons with you from time to time, as long as I link back to his webpage and facebook page. Done... and done. Now, want to see his brilliant solution? I guarantee you it'd work if we of the older generations merely attempt to bridge that gap by joining into a united front... (heh, heh... and back...)


                                                                        Ta DA!

Tell me about your favorite... or least favorite... teenage fad. What did you do to drive your parents nuts? What did your kids... or grandkids... do to drive you nuts? Ready to bare your undies in a concerted effort to end the sagging trend once and for all?

                                     Until next time, take care of yourselves. And each other.

P.S. As a bonus, a fella from Atlanta sang this song on American Idol last year...

[Many thanks to wikipedia and morguefile for the images used in this post.]