There's No Accounting for Taste

Thought for the day:  How is it that a toddler can be so picky and slow when it comes to eating a nutritious dinner, and yet so fast when it comes to shoving every disgusting thing he finds on the ground into his mouth?

[morguefile]

Have you ever noticed how terrapin, turtle, and tortoise seem to be used interchangeably? No? Well, I did, and it made me wonder what, if any, difference there was between the terms. Now that I've done some reading, I can safely report that there is no longer a need to include the word terrapin in my vocabulary. No sirree, and here's why. Turtle is a generic term, so you can properly use it to refer to any of those adorable shelled reptiles, whether they live on the land or in the water.  A tortoise is a turtle, and though the term can be used to denote any turtle, it refers more precisely to a land turtle. But terrapin is defined as any of North America's edible water turtles. Oh, no, no, no, no, no.  I don't know about you, but as far as I'm concerned, there is no such thing as an edible turtle. So, I will not be using that word again anytime soon.

And yeah, I know some of you may disagree. Some of you may consider turtles a wonderful delicacy. After all, even though I think calves are absolutely adorable and have the most beautiful eyes, when driving past a field of them, I may or may not have said a time or two, "Oh, look at all the veals!"

I know. Crass.

But if you think about it, we human eat a lot of strange foods. I mean, I was raised on the shores of the Chesapeake Bay, so I love good salty raw oysters, but I still wonder about the first human who picked one up and thought, I'm going to open that thing and eat whatever I find inside. (Even if it looks like the Jolly Green Giant's booger on a half-shell? I don't think I would've been that brave.)

I've gotta admit... it doesn't look terribly appetizing.

OK, let's take a look at some of the weird things some of us eat, shall we?

• In Sardinia, people eat something called casu marzu, which is cheese riddled with insect larvae. Appropriately enough, it is also called maggot cheese. Yum, huh?
• In Indonesia, fried monkey toes are considered a delicacy.
• In Hungary, a favorite dish is comprised of fresh pig blood and scrambled eggs.
• Talking about blood, in Sweden, blood dumplings are made with flour and reindeer blood, and the Polish have czarnina, a soup whose not-so-secret ingredient is duck blood.
• Ever hear of head cheese? It looks like a nondescript mish-mash jellied lunch meat, and can be found in many delis. Did you know that isn't just a cutesy name? That it's actually made from the head of a pig? A whole head, which has to be shaved, and has to have the wax removed from its ears, prior to cooking? If you have the stomach for it, you can see how it's done here

head cheese

• Americans traditionally eat some pretty weird stuff, too. How about scrapple, which is allegedly made from every part of the pig but its oink? I also read that some people in the South eat squirrel brains, although I can't say I've ever seen any of my neighbors so indulge, and I don't plan to serve them at our next dinner party, either.
• In Eastern Europe, there's a dish called p'tcha which is a translucent "jello" made from calves' feet. 
• Oh, and while we're talking about feet, let's not forget pickled pig and cow feet. (There's a jar of pickled pig feet lurking in my pantry now... for Smarticus, not me!)
• In France, they eat calf's head; in Slovenia, they eat stewed dormice; in Italy, they eat cibreo, which is cock's combs; and in Thailand, they eat rats.
• You've heard of Chinese birds nest soup? It is literally made from swifts' nests, and lest you think those nests are made of twigs and grass, they aren't. They're mostly made of saliva.
• In the Philippines, balut answers the age-old chicken-or-the-egg question. This dish is made of fertilized eggs, which are cooked just before they hatch, so when you eat it, you get both the chicken (or duck) AND the egg.  
• One of  Korea's favorite dishes is sannakji. Octopus. No big deal, you say? You've eaten octopus many times, you say?  How many times have you eaten it while it was still squirming on your plate? That's right. This dish is reeeeeeally fresh. While it's still alive, the octopus is cut into pieces and sprinkled with sesame oil, and the tentacles are STILL MOVING when diners pop it into their mouths. It poses quite a challenge, too, because those little suction cups on the tentacles stick to whatever surface they touch. So the diner has to pry his dinner from his chopsticks, and once it's in his mouth,  the tentacles latch onto his teeth, his tongue, and the roof of his mouth. And that's not all... sometimes, they don't even cut the octopus into manageable pieces. Sometimes they leave it whole, wrap the tentacles around a pair of chopsticks and stuff it into their mouths, head first. There are quite a few videos on Youtube of people eating live octopi, but they were a little too gross for me to share. If you want to see any of those videos, they're easy to find. (As well as people eating other live animals.)
• And then, there's the national dish of Scotland. Haggis. This is a sausage-like dish which contains what they call the pluck of a sheep: its heart, liver, and lungs. (Takes a bit of pluck to eat it, too!) When all the ingredients are combined, they're traditionally sewn into the sheep's stomach for cooking, with the windpipe hanging over the side of the pot. Modern recipes, however, may call for tongue instead of lung, and sausage casing instead of sheep's stomach. 
• This love-it or hate-it food comes to us from the UK:  

Marmite is a dark brown spread made from brewery yeast by-products. After seeing it mentioned on several blogs, I bought some at a local British specialty store. The shop's owner fairly waxed poetic about this stuff, but she warned me not to spread it on my toast like butter. "A very thin coat will do you," she said. Indeed. Although British children pretty much eat Marmite from the time they're weaned, I must say, even a very thin coating of it delivered a powerhouse punch of taste for my palate. Not exactly yeasty. It's a little salty and has a strong strong taste unlike anything I've ever eaten before. It's chock full of B vitamins, and very nutritious, so I might try it again, but no rush. I have plenty of time. Even after opening, the stuff will last for years at room temperature.

In closing on this whole weird foods of the world idea, I'll let these following pictures speak for themselves:

 bugs on a stick

fried spiders, anyone?

So, what's all this mean? It means there's simply no accounting for taste. People like what they like, and hate what they hate. Just because I tried chocolate-covered ants when I was a kid (they're crunchy) doesn't mean I'd ever choose them over a Hershey bar. Just because I ate snake once (it really DOES taste like chicken) doesn't mean I ever want to eat it again. And just because most of the world loves chocolate doesn't make you wrong if you hate it.

And here we go: Rejection from any given agent, publisher or reader doesn't mean your writing stinks. All it means is you haven't submitted it to the person with the perfect palate for it yet. The work of any creative person  is every bit as susceptible to personal taste as a still-moving chunk of octopus or jar of pickled pigs feet. I'll betcha even Michelangelo had his detractors. (the artist, not the ninja turtle)

                             So what's the weirdest thing you've ever eaten?

                        Until next time, take care of yourselves. And each other.

Wait! Don't leave yet! I don't want to gross you guys out; I'd rather make you feel good. This video ought to do it. Not only will it bring a tear or two to your eyes, but it might make you feel a little more grateful for your next meal... no matter what you eat.

You'd Better Shop Around

Thought for the day:  Seeing's as how most of the merchandise sold in America's WalMarts was produced in China, do you suppose most of the stuff in China's WalMarts was made in the USA?

Nah, I don't think so, either.

Even though WalMart stores have popped up in many parts of the world, including China, the merchandise must vary quite a bit from country to country. I mean, how likely is it that a shopper in China would have any interest in buying corn dogs, a book about Uncle Sam, or a Super Bowl tee shirt?

So what does a WalMart shopper in China want to buy, you ask? Hehe. I'm so glad you asked, because we're about to take a little gander inside a Chinese

                                                                    Ready??? Here goes!

Not sure if the powdered horse milk is for foals or fools people.

I reckon anti-bacterial undies keep a fella's dong phu from getting too phooey, huh?

In case you can't tell, that's assorted reptile parts in them there bags. For most of us, frog legs are about as adventurous as we wanta get.

Underwear may be sanitized, but Chinese people evidently don't have a problem scooping rice out of big open-air bins.

Now, this is a bunch of bull. Or at least, it's a pile of a certain anatomical part of a bunch of bulls, if you get my drift An aphrodisiac, maybe? More like a purgative, if ya ask me.

Not the kind of Crocs we're accustomed to seeing at the store, is it?

So exactly what do you remove from water to make it dietetic? Oh, wait! I've got it. Maybe they add something to it. Like ipecac. That'd knock those pounds right off...

YUM! Savory duck carcasses.

What? Not interested in DIY frog legs?

Again, no concerns about the sanitary conditions of bulk meat, either.

Now these are kinda cool. More men might drink water if it tasted like meat. Hey! Where's the bacon...?

Um, yep. Those things are exactly what they look like. Pig faces. Smoked, maybe? I'd rather have bacon with my eggs, thank you very much.

How about some assorted animal ribs? No need to be shy, people... just help yourself.

Although this picture was included on numerous websites along with a mess of other shots allegedly taken inside a Chinese WalMart, I suspect it's bogus. But funny. I like funny. (But I don't want to see eyeballs in my pickle jar.)










So there ya have it. What's the strangest thing you ever saw in a Superstore? In America, the strangest thing in the store may not be the merchandise; it may be the shoppers. Let's just say... they have a...  fantastic sense of fashion. Don't believe me? Check out this People of Walmart video. (There's plenty more of 'em on Youtube, too.)

Since the topic today is picking on  about Walmart, I might as well throw this out there, too. Didja hear that WalMart is thinking about selling wine under its own label? Their marketing department thinks a cheap-ass huge potential market for cheap-ass  inexpensive wine exists. Who knows? Could be they're right. After all, who doesn't love Two Buck Chuck? So whattaya think Wally World should call their wines? How about these creative suggestions:

•  Chateau Traileur Parc
• White Trashfindel
• Big Red Gulp
• World Championship WRiesling
• NASCARbernet
• Chef Boyardeaux
• Peanut Noir
• I Can't Believe it's not Vinegar 
• Grape Expectations
• Nasti Spumante

The beauty of Wal-Mart wine is it will make ya sick go equally well with white meat (possum) or red (squirrel). (No need to tell me this scintillating information I received from a friend is yet another hoax. I know perfectly well squirrel meat isn't red.)

Next Monday, the lovely and talented Dianne Salerni will be interviewing me on her blog. It seems she has a few questions about Hot Flashes and Cold Lemonade. How about that? She's a fantastic writer, and it'll be a genuine honor to visit with her. Tell ya what. Why don't y'all stop in and say howdy, okay? Heck, I'll even bake a chocolate rum cake.

Not enough blatant self-promotion for ya? How's this? Yesterday, my old hometown newspaper in Maryland ran an article about ... moi and my book. Life is good. Oh yeah, life is definitely good.

                                    Until next time, take care of yourselves. And each other.

I Yam Not THAT Hungry

Thought for the day:  How is it that a toddler can be so picky and slow when it comes to eating a nutritious dinner, and yet so fast at shoving every disgusting thing he finds on the ground into his mouth?

I'm feeling a little lazy today. Why should today be any different? So instead of starting an entirely new post from scratch, I'm gonna give an old one an update, and rerun it. It first ran in July of 2011 as I Am What I Eat? How Disgustng!

Even though I'm making some changes here, I'll do my very best to keep it as disgusting as it was before...

***

Have you ever noticed that the words turtle, terrapin, and tortoise seem to be used almost interchangeably? So I couldn't help but wonder ... what's the difference between them? Well, I can tell you right now, according to the definition of terrapin I found, there's absolutely no need for that particular word in my vocabulary. No sirree, and here's why. Turtle is a generic term, so you can properly use it to refer to any of those adorable shelled reptiles, whether they live on the land or in the water.  A tortoise is a turtle, and though the term can be used to denote any turtle, it refers especially to a land turtle. But terrapin is defined as any of North America's edible water turtles. Oh, no, no, no, no, no.  I don't know about you, but as far as I'm concerned, there is no such thing as an edible turtle. So, I will not be using that word again anytime soon.

And yeah, I know some of you may disagree. Some of you may consider turtles a wonderful delicacy. After all, even though I think calves are absolutely adorable and have the most beautiful eyes, when driving past a field of them, I may or may not have said a time or two, "Oh, look at all the veals!"

I know. Crass.

But if you think about it, we humans eat some pretty strange things. Like raw oysters. I mean, yeah, I happen to love them, but just think about the first guy... and you know it was a guy...  who opened one of them and decided it looked good enough to eat?

You must admit. It doesn't look very appetizing.

OK, let's take a look at some of the weird foods people eat around the world, shall we?

• In Sardinia, people eat something called casu marzu, which is cheese riddled with insect larvae. Appropriately enough, it is also called maggot cheese. Yum, huh?
• In Indonesia, fried monkey toes are considered a delicacy.
• In Hungary, a favorite dish is comprised of fresh pig blood and scrambled eggs.
• Talking about blood, in Sweden, blood dumplings are made with flour and reindeer blood, and the Polish have czarnina, a soup whose not-so-secret ingredient is duck blood.
• Ever hear of head cheese? It looks like an innocuous mish-mash of jellied lunch meat, and can be found in many delis.  This is what it looks like when you buy it.

And if you've got the stomach to watch, THIS is what it takes to make it:

• Americans traditionally eat some pretty weird stuff, too. How about scrapple, which is allegedly made from every part of the pig but its oink? I also read that some people in the South eat squirrel brains, although I can't say I've ever seen any of my neighbors so indulge, and I don't plan to serve them at our next dinner party, either.
• In Eastern Europe, there's a dish called p'tcha which is a translucent jello made from calves' feet. 
• Oh, and while we're talking about feet, let's not forget pickled pig and cow feet. (There are two jars of pig feet lurking in my pantry right now. For Smarticus, that is. You don't think I'd eat them, do ya?)
• In France, they eat calf's head; in Slovenia, they eat stewed dormice; in Italy, they eat cibreo, which is cock's combs; and in Thailand, they eat rats.
• You've heard of Chinese birds nest soup? It is literally made from swifts' nests, and lest you think those nests are made of twigs and grass, they aren't. They're mostly made of saliva.
• In the Philippines, balut answers the age-old chicken-or-the-egg question. This dish is made of fertilized eggs, which are cooked just before they hatch, so when you eat it, you get both the chicken (or duck) AND the egg.  
• One of  Korea's favorite dishes is sannakji. Octopus. No big deal, you say? You've eaten octopus many times, you say?  How many times have you eaten it while it was still squirming on your plate? That's right. This dish is reeeeeeally fresh. While it's still alive, the octopus is cut into pieces and sprinkled with sesame oil, and the tentacles are STILL MOVING when diners pop it into their mouths. It poses quite a challenge, too, because those little suction cups on the tentacles stick to whatever surface they touch. So the diner has to pry his dinner from his chopsticks, and once it's in his mouth,  the tentacles latch onto his teeth, his tongue, and the roof of his mouth. Oh, and for the really brave of heart, the whole darned thing can be popped into one's mouth, while still alive: 

• And then, there's the national dish of Scotland. Haggis. This is a sausage-like dish which contains what they call the pluck of a sheep: its heart, liver, and lungs. (Takes a bit of pluck to eat it, too!) When all the ingredients are combined, they're traditionally sewn into the sheep's stomach for cooking, with the windpipe hanging over the side of the pot. Modern recipes, however, may call for tongue instead of lung, and sausage casing instead of sheep's stomach. 
• This love-it or hate-it food comes to us from the UK:  

Marmite is a dark brown spread made from brewery yeast by-products. I first heard about it through the blogosphere,  and even bought some from a local British specialty store to try. The shop's owner waxed poetic about this stuff, but she did warn me that a very thin coat of it would do me. Indeed. Although British children pretty much eat Marmite from the time they're weaned, I must say, even a very thin coating of it delivered a powerhouse punch of taste to my poor unindoctrinated palate. Not exactly yeasty. A little salty. Just a strong strong taste unlike anything I've ever had before. It's chock full of B vitamins, and very nutritious, so I'll probably try it again, but no rush. I have plenty of time. Even after opening, it'll last for years at room temperature. (Hmm, it's been almost two years since I tried it... I might be ready to have another go at it.)

In closing on this whole weird foods of the world idea, I'll let these following pictures speak for themselves:

 bugs on a stick

fried spiders, anyone?

So, what's all this mean? It means there's simply no accounting for taste. People like what they like, and hate what they hate. Just because I tried chocolate-covered ants when I was a kid (they're crunchy) doesn't mean I'd ever choose them over a Hershey bar. Just because I ate snake once (it really DOES taste like chicken) doesn't mean I ever want to eat it again. And just because most of the world loves chocolate doesn't make you wrong if you hate it.

And here we go: Rejection from any given agent or publisher doesn't mean your writing stinks. All it means is you haven't submitted it to the person with the perfect palate for it yet. The work of any creative person  is every bit as susceptible to personal taste as a still-moving chunk of octopus or jar of pickled pigs feet. I'll betcha even Michelangelo had his detractors. (the artist, not the ninja turtle)

                                So, what's the strangest thing you've ever eaten?

                            Until next time, take care of yourselves. And each other.

Bend Over, Laddie

Thought for the day:  The best laid schemes o' mice an' men gang aft a-gley.  [Robert Burns]

Last Friday, the 25th, was Robert Burns Day, a worldwide drunken celebration of Scotland's favorite son and poet. So, yeah, that would have been a logical time to write a post about him and the annual poetry-reading, whiskey-swilling celebration of his birthday, but as he wrote, sometimes our plans gang a-gley.

Since I opted to participate in False Start Friday last week, why not talk about Burns today, eh?

A lot of people only associate the prolific Burns with Auld Lang Syne, but the truth is, he wrote a LOT of poems. I know, because I have a book filled with every single one he ever wrote. My grandfather's book. A true Scotsman he was, too. He could recite Burns' poetry like a Shakespearean actor, and the more libations he had, the more dramatic his recitation.

Even Pop's before-meal grace came from Burns:

Some hae meat, and canna eat,
And some wad eat that want it,
But we hae meat and we can eat,
And sae the Lord be thankit.

You know what the traditional meat is at the Burns Day celebrations? Something called haggis, a sausage-like dish containing what Scots call the pluck of a sheep: its heart, liver and lungs. (Takes a bit of pluck to eat it, too!) When all the ingredients are combined, they're traditionally sewn into the sheep's stomach for cooking, with the windpipe hanging over the side of the pot. Yum, huh? Modern recipes, however, may call for tongue instead of lung, and sausage casing instead of sheep's stomach. But I've even heard of instances where the sausage ingredients are shaped and cooked in a likeness of Burns' head and served on a huge platter. Talk about a following, huh?

Burns wrote poetry about all kinds of things. This, he allegedly wrote after observing a woman in church looking up the text during the sermon:

Fair maid, you need not take the hint,

Nor idle texts pursue;

'Twas guilty sinners that he meant---

Not angels such as you.

Rather than inundate you with more of Bobby Burns' poetry, let me address the question that niggles at many a fair maiden's mind... exactly what do those Scotsmen wear under their kilts???

Well, here ya go. The little ditty in this video will answer that question quite nicely. Cute pics, too. FYI, the illustrator is a very talented young autistic man, who has been drawing since he was a young child.

Now that you're smiling, how about one more short video? (Where do I get these things, you ask? Why, I pull 'em out of my... um, ear... of course.)

                                         Okay, lads and lassies, that'll be aboot it for noo.

                                               May He who gives the rain to pour,

                                               And wings the blast to blaw,

                                               Protect thee frae the driving show'r,

                                              The bitter frost and snaw.

                               Until next time, take care of yourselves. And each other.

[A photo of my grandmother's cousin Ian. Had I been born with the proper accoutrements, that would have been my name, too.]

I Am What I Eat? How Utterly Disgusting!

Thought for the day:  How is it that a toddler can be so picky and slow when it comes to eating a nutritious dinner, and yet so fast at shoving every disgusting thing he finds on the ground into his mouth?

Before writing Wednesday's post about the turtles at JFK Airport, I discovered the words turtle, terrapin, and tortoise seemed to be used interchangeably in the articles and reports I was reading. So I wondered ... what's the difference between the three words? Well, I can tell you right now, according to the definition of terrapin I found, there's absolutely no need for that particular word in my vocabulary. No sirree, and here's why. Turtle is a generic term, so you can properly use it to refer to any of those adorable shelled reptiles, whether they live on the land or in the water.  A tortoise is a turtle, and though the term can be used to denote any turtle, it refers especially to a land turtle. But terrapin is defined as any of North America's edible water turtles. Oh, no, no, no, no, no.  I don't know about you, but as far as I'm concerned, there is no such thing as an edible turtle. So, I will not be using that word again anytime soon.

And yeah, I know some of you may disagree. Some of you may consider turtles a wonderful delicacy. After all, even though I think calves are absolutely adorable and have the most beautiful eyes, when driving past a field of them, I may or may not have said a time or two, "Oh, look at all the veals!"

I know. Crass.

But if you think about it, we humans eat a lot of strange foods. I mean, I love raw oysters, but you've got to wonder about the first human who thought to himself, I'm going to crack that thing open and eat whatever I find in there, no matter how slimy and disgusting it looks.

You must admit. It doesn't look very appetizing.

OK, let's take a look at some of the weird foods people eat around the world, shall we?

• In Sardinia, people eat something called casu marzu, which is cheese riddled with insect larvae. Appropriately enough, it is also called maggot cheese. Yum, huh?
• In Indonesia, fried monkey toes are considered a delicacy.
• In Hungary, a favorite dish is comprised of fresh pig blood and scrambled eggs.
• Talking about blood, in Sweden, blood dumplings are made with flour and reindeer blood, and the Polish have czarnina, a soup whose not-so-secret ingredient is duck blood.
• Ever hear of head cheese? It looks like a nondescript mish-mash jellied lunch meat, and can be found in many delis. Did you know that isn't just a cutesy name? That it's actually made from the head of a pig? A whole head, which has to be shaved, and has to have the wax removed from its ears, prior to cooking? If you have the stomach for it, you can see how it's done here

head cheese

• Americans traditionally eat some pretty weird stuff, too. How about scrapple, which is allegedly made from every part of the pig but its oink? I also read that some people in the South eat squirrel brains, although I can't say I've ever seen any of my neighbors so indulge, and I don't plan to serve them at our next dinner party, either.
• In Eastern Europe, there's a dish called p'tcha which is a translucent "jello" made from calves' feet. 
• Oh, and while we're talking about feet, let's not forget pickled pig and cow feet. (There are two jars of pig feet lurking in my pantry now.)
• In France, they eat calf's head; in Slovenia, they eat stewed dormice; in Italy, they eat cibreo, which is cock's combs; and in Thailand, they eat rats.
• You've heard of Chinese birds nest soup? It is literally made from swifts' nests, and lest you think those nests are made of twigs and grass, they aren't. They're mostly made of saliva.
• In the Philippines, balut answers the age-old chicken-or-the-egg question. This dish is made of fertilized eggs, which are cooked just before they hatch, so when you eat it, you get both the chicken (or duck) AND the egg.  
• One of  Korea's favorite dishes is sannakji. Octopus. No big deal, you say? You've eaten octopus many times, you say?  How many times have you eaten it while it was still squirming on your plate? That's right. This dish is reeeeeeally fresh. While it's still alive, the octopus is cut into pieces and sprinkled with sesame oil, and the tentacles are STILL MOVING when diners pop it into their mouths. It poses quite a challenge, too, because those little suction cups on the tentacles stick to whatever surface they touch. So the diner has to pry his dinner from his chopsticks, and once it's in his mouth,  the tentacles latch onto his teeth, his tongue, and the roof of his mouth.
• And then, there's the national dish of Scotland. Haggis. This is a sausage-like dish which contains what they call the pluck of a sheep: its heart, liver, and lungs. (Takes a bit of pluck to eat it, too!) When all the ingredients are combined, they're traditionally sewn into the sheep's stomach for cooking, with the windpipe hanging over the side of the pot. Modern recipes, however, may call for tongue instead of lung, and sausage casing instead of sheep's stomach. 
• This love-it or hate-it food comes to us from the UK:  

Marmite is a dark brown spread made from brewery yeast by-products. It was mentioned on several blogs recently, so the last time I visited a local British specialty store, I decided to buy some ... and try some. The shop's owner fairly waxed poetic about this stuff, but she did warn me not to spread it on my toast like butter. A very thin coat will do you, she said. Indeed. Although British children pretty much eat Marmite from the time they're weaned, I must say, even a very thin coating of it delivered a powerhouse punch of taste. Not exactly yeasty. A little salty. Just a strong strong taste unlike anything I've ever had before. It's chock full of B vitamins, and very nutritious, so I'll probably try it again, but no rush. I have plenty of time. Even after opening, it'll last for years at room temperature.

In closing on this whole weird foods of the world idea, I'll let these following pictures speak for themselves:

 bugs on a stick

fried spiders, anyone?

So, what's all this mean? It means there's simply no accounting for taste. People like what they like, and hate what they hate. Just because I tried chocolate-covered ants when I was a kid (they're crunchy) doesn't mean I'd ever choose them over a Hershey bar. Just because I ate snake once (it really DOES taste like chicken) doesn't mean I ever want to eat it again. And just because most of the world loves chocolate doesn't make you wrong if you hate it.

And here we go: Rejection from any given agent or publisher doesn't mean your writing stinks. All it means is you haven't submitted it to the person with the perfect palate for it yet. The work of any creative person  is every bit as susceptible to personal taste as a still-moving chunk of octopus or jar of pickled pigs feet. I'll betcha even Michelangelo had his detractors. (the artist, not the ninja turtle)

OK, time to take a look at (ta-DA!) the

Weirdest News Stories of the Week


**   After a scant week on the job, Japan's new reconstruction minister had to resign because of offensive remarks he made about the country's earthquake and tsunami victims. His explanation? No, he didn't say the devil made him do it. He blamed his insensitive behavior on his blood type, alluding to a widespread Japanese belief that associates blood type with certain character traits. He says his behavior stemmed from his type B blood, although there was no mention of Rh factor. Judging by his unkind remarks, I think he may ... B negative.

** To curb complaints about drivers taking needlessly long roundabout routes, old New Delhi rickshaws are now fitted with new SatNav systems ... AKA GPS ... which local authorities will monitor. This unlikely pairing of old and new should result in more direct routes, yes, but it may not alleviate customer concerns about overcharging. It seems that many of the rickshaw drivers refuse to use meters.



**  In a follow-up to last week's story about Nathan's Hot Dog Eating competition, for the fifth year in a row, Joey Chestnut won the Mustard Belt ( I kid you not) and ten thousand dollars (that'll buy a LOT of hot dogs!) by scarfing down 62 dogs and rolls in the span of ten minutes. The winner among lady competitors? Although I can't imagine where she put 'em, Sonya Thomas, who is 5'5" tall, and a mere 105 pounds, managed to pack in forty dogs and buns. In an interesting side story, Takeru Kobayashi, a one-time Mustard Belt holder who was banned from the competition because of his refusal to sign a contract, held his own event. From atop a Manhattan rooftop, and in front of witnesses, he ate sixty-nine dogs and buns within the allotted ten minutes. Alas, although it would've broken the official record, there'll be no mustard belt for him. But I'll bet he ate with a lot of relish.

If you have time, check out the blogs of  Dianne Salerni and Marcy Hatch today. They've thrown me into the back of their trucks and will be toting me across the tarmac. That is, they'll be critiquing the first page of my novel. Go ahead. Let me know what you think about my haggis. So to speak.

Until next time, take care of yourselves. And each other.