Spacious Sardine Cans

Thought for the day:  Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.  

Do these glasses look OK on me?

I'm not really here right now. That is, I'm writing this post on Saturday, but when it appears like magic on my blog on Monday, I won't actually be here. (Dontcha love that Blogger lets us do that?)

I'll be at the opth   ophth   eye doctor's on Monday. So might as well get the post done early, right? In fact, I'm gonna try to set up multiple posts today, because I won't "be around" for a while. You've heard of the British invasion of the '60s? Well, we're expecting a Polish invasion at our house. Our grandchildren. Seven of them will be visiting. All our kids and their spouses, too. So, as you can imagine, I'm gonna be kinda busy ... cooking, cooking, cooking, running the washing machine, and most important of all, enjoying the kids and grandkids. Not sure if I'll have any time at all to get on the computer, but if I do, I'll try to check for your comments. Probably won't be checking your blogs, though. Sorry. Not that I don't love you guys, but I love those younguns more.

2012 Mini coupe

There was a write-up in last night's newspaper about the 2012 two-seat Mini coupe. The Mini Coopers are kinda cute, but this new top-of-the-line sporty coupe will be able to achieve speeds of 149 mph. Not that I have any interest in traveling that fast, but it's a bit of a disconnect to think of a Mini and that kind of speed. You can even order luxurious leather seats and special spiffy alloy wheels for it. Considering all the options on this cute little car that's being marketed as a vehicle to "maximize driving fun",  you could almost call this a luxury car. If you don't mind riding around in a sardine can, that is. 

Made me think about what sort of luxury features I'd put into a car. Leather interiors are nice, and even here in Atlanta, heated seats feel mighty good on a chilly winter morning, but there are a couple more practical luxuries I believe most parents would pay extra money to call their own. Like those windows limos have separating the front seat from the back. Can you imagine? How many times have you had to endure the raucous sounds of children bruising the crap out of each other in a ridiculous game of punch buggy in the back seat? Or heard the question, "Are we there yet?" Oh, and my favorite: the endless litany of "He's touching me!" and "She touched me first!" emanating from the back seat. How many times have you heard THAT? Enough times that you're tempted to pull the car over and do a little "touching" yourself? Well, then, just think of it. If you had one of those super duper cool windows, you could hit the button, and voila! Peace and quiet. 

One other feature that might come in handy, although I don't believe I'd ever have the chutzpah to use it, would be an ejection seat. Got any back seat drivers who drive you nuts? Give 'em a warning, and then pfffft! Out they go. Just having that puppy in the car as an option would likely put an end to most of that annoying know-it-all babbling. You'd never even have to use it. Not more than once, anyway ...

OK, back to the "fast" or "luxury" Mini. Either one is a bit of an oxymoron, isn't it? So, just for fun, let's look at some other oxymorons. The most commonly referenced oxymoron is probably "jumbo shrimp", but here are some others you may not have heard before. Let's call them 

 The Top 35 Oxymorons of All Time   

• State worker
• Legally drunk
• Exact estimate
• Act naturally
• Found missing
• Resident alien
• Genuine imitation
• Airline food
• Good grief
• Government organization
• Sanitary landfill
• Alone together
• Small crowd
• Business ethics
• Soft rock
• Amtrak schedule
• Military intelligence
• Sweet sorrow
• Compassionate conservative
• "Now, then ... "
• Passive aggression
• Clearly misunderstood
• Peace force
• Extinct life
• Plastic glasses
• Terribly pleased
• Computer security
• Political science
• Tight slacks
• Definite maybe
• Pretty ugly
• Rap music
• Working vacation
• Religious tolerance
• Microsoft Works

Pretty good, huh? That list was sent to me almost a decade ago by one of Georgia's Emergency Managers. I thought it was funny then, and I still think it's funny, now.

How about you? Have any oxymorons you'd care to share? Or a luxury feature you'd like to see in your next vehicle? Do tell.

Until next time, take care of yourselves. And each other.

Have a fuzzy-licious happy day