I Can Hear Music

Thought for the day: Hope is hearing the music in the future. Faith is dancing to the music now. [Caroline Pitre-Oaks]

It's been a while since Smarticus and I have danced, unless you count my uncoordinated bopping around to the music while we shoot pool, but hey! Maybe it isn't too late to learn how to torture my favorite Pole with a pole dance, eh?

A couple weeks ago, I said I'd written two rather lengthy posts and then I didn't know where we'd go from there. Well, I know where we're going this week, anyway. A friend sent me some pictures that tickled my funny bone, so I figured I'd have a go at tickling yours, too. Along with the pictures, he posed the question: Are humans regressing?

What do you think? Take a gander...

Well, golly, thank you so much for letting me know. Sometimes, seeing a mountain of peanuts isn't nearly enough for me to correctly ascertain that there's a bona fide mountain of actual peanuts right there in front of me.

Well, darn. I was thinking maybe that was the family reunion-sized version.

Really? I wonder how many people burned themselves by testing the temperature of that fire to prompt the addition of this helpful warning.

Well, that's rather vague, dontcha think?

Awwwww. But it looks so doggone tasty... and I'm too cheap to pay someone for a piercing...

So ixnay on the playing fetch with Fido, okay?

Not the comfiest place to park one's posterior, but it'd probably go a long way toward popping some of those pesky hemorrhoids.

Um... okay. If you insist.

But that would be such a cool way to leave the building...

Whew! Thanks for telling me. Snorkeling on the beach isn't nearly as much fun.














Now THIS one probably has a perfectly logical reason behind it. It's a men's room, obviously, where little boys would also do their thing. All I wonder is how many boys peed into the wall before the sign was installed. (And how many it stopped from peeing into that tempting hole after it was installed...)

Not even through the window? Or the chimney? Oooh, how about the vent in the kitchen above the grease pit... that always works out so well...

Well, the gaping elevator shaft might get me to the ground floor faster, but I believe I'll just take the stairs this time.

Hmmm. Maybe the sign right before this one says Slippery when wet, and this one is simply for clarification?

Yep. And something tells me you don't wanta know what they are.

It does???

(sigh)

All good things must come to an end. Including this post. I hope you got a chuckle or two from it.





But back to the question my friend posed. Is humanity regressing?








                     Me? I say no. As long as we keep our sense of humor, we're doing just fine.

                                 Until next time, take care of yourselves. And each other.

UPDATE: Three weeks into treatment, and we're still smiling... and can still hear the music.

Traffic SNAFU

Thought for the day: Some rights are worth dying for, but the right of way isn't one of them.

Unfortunately, road rage is a real thing, and some people aren't satisfied with merely offering a rather familiar and not-so-friendly hand gesture... which I prefer to interpret as You're number one. It takes a lot to get me riled, but I must admit, the lack of courtesy on our roads does kinda get my goat. Not that I resort to using the aforementioned gesture, but I do occasionally mutter some rather unladylike words. Under my breath, of course. (After all, the guy who forces me to hit the brakes because he just cut in front of me... even though there are abso-freaking-lutely no cars whatsoever BEHIND me... might not take too kindly to hearing some old lady's opinion about his driving skills or the legitimacy of his birth.)

I'm gonna ask you guys for your opinions about a particular driving situation, but before we get to that, let's just have a little fun with some road signs, shall we?

Now, I can't say that I've ever seen this sign myself, but if I did, you can be sure I'd have to stop the car and take a picture of it. It reminds me of a joke... Did you hear about the woman who tried to pull a Lorena Bobbitt on her philandering husband? In a blind rage, she ended up stabbing him multiple times in the leg. She was charged with a... ready for it?... a mis-da-weiner. 

I wonder if this sign is posted in a school district...?

I'd actually loooooooove to see signs like the one on the right. The one on the left? To tell the truth, around these parts, that isn't much of an exaggeration.

Now here's a sign some of those angry bird-flipping drivers might understand. It speaks their language.

HUH! Well, that's downright discriminatory! We old broads and geezers have just as much right to be on that road as the younguns.

You've all seen those signs warning drivers about various animal crossings. I say BRAVO to all of those smart animals who know where it's safe for them to cross.

(If the crossing's location is inconvenient for drivers, then the DOT could do what the dumb blonde suggested in a joke: For goodness sake, just move the sign!)

Now, I dunno what the heck this sign is trying to tell us. Has there been a spate of alien abductions in the area? (HMMMPH! I'd say that's a bunch of bull!)

A hand-made PSA posted by a concerned citizen.

This sign just makes me smile.

Okay, so it's time for me to STOP and get off of Procrastination Parkway and get to the gist of this post... getting your opinions about a particular traffic situation.

We've all seen those dreaded signs warning us of construction ahead. Grrrrreat, huh? Usually means delays, snarled traffic, and frayed nerves, not to mention an annoying kick in the seat to one's average rate of speed. (Particularly annoying on a long trip.)

But HERE'S the kind of sign I want to discuss with you. With the amount of roadwork and utility work going on around here, we see similar signs on every road from interstates to small roads within subdivisions. Often, they come with more specific information. Like, RIGHT LANE CLOSES IN ONE HALF MILE, usually followed by multiple distance count-down signs before the lane finally comes to an end.

Now here's the question: When you see a sign telling you that the lane you are in is going to close, when do you move over into the other lane? Smarticus and I have always moved over as soon as possible, and he certainly doesn't take too kindly to the folks who wait until the VERY LAST MOMENT to try to cut over in front of him. (i.e. We did the right thing, and they're inconsiderate a**holes.)

Kinda like the sentiments expressed on this sarcastic gem.

Or this one.


The thing is, I've seen some angry drivers at that actual point of lane-ending. Lots of honking horns and not-so-friendly hand signals.







Reminds me of a weird news story I wrote about in one of my posts in February of 2012:

***  An impatient Porsche driver in San Francisco wasn't happy about being stuck in traffic, so he set out to do something about it. You've seen this sort of driver before; we all have. They're usually behind the wheel of a high-dollar car, and I suppose they figure they're above the mundane laws of the road governing the rest of us peons. Anyway, they generally have no problem making their own lanes. Like the privileged characters they are, they'll whip down the shoulder or emergency lane to get past the traffic jam, and then count on the kindness of strangers to let them back on the road. That's exactly what the Porsche driver tried to do, only the empty lane he claimed was empty for a very good reason. A nice, wet, freshly-poured concrete reason. The guy went from being merely stuck in traffic to really stuck. Workers had to dig the car out, and though the incident may have ruined that Porsche dude's day, I have a feeling the other snickering drivers and pointing passersby considered it a delightful case of poetic justice.

I think the same kind of resentment over entitled drivers may be what's behind the less-than-friendly behavior when a lane closes. Ergo, we move over as soon as possible.

                                                                And that's certainly

                                  to respond to the situation. But as it turns out,  it may be the

According to Marilyn vos Savant, the super duper high IQ gal who writes a column for the Sunday newspaper, the right way to handle those approaching lane closures is to utilize both lanes for as long as possible. She says it's more efficient that way, and keeps traffic moving. Then at the closure point, cars are to take turns: proceed first from one lane, and then the other. I checked it out, and the DOT agrees with her. They even have a name for it; they call it the zipper method. After I read her article, I thought it did, indeed, make sense to do it that way, but Smarticus still says he's gonna move over well before the lane closes. A couple of other friends agreed with him, and they say that in a Utopian world, it'd be a great way to handle the situation, but it ain't a Utopian world, and people are gonna act like jerks at the convergence point. It might be a logical approach... but it isn't practical.
             
                                                         What do YOU think?

                                             I think... I'm gonna have a cuppa tea.

                            Until next time, take care of yourselves. And each other.

Mixed Messages

Thought for the day:  Time is but a stream I go a-fishing in. I drink at it, but while I drink, I see the sandy bottom and detect how shallow it is. Its thin current slips away, but eternity remains. [Henry David Thoreau]

How is it possible that I can look at this old photo of my mother and me from so many years ago and still remember so vividly exactly how icky it felt when the lining of that bathing suit got filled with sand?

So long ago, yet so vivid. Such is time. As Thoreau said, eternity remains.

Okay, so I'm not here. (Again!) You could say I've... gone fishing. (Hey! Stop looking at my bass!)

Ahem.

Anyhow, I won't be around to respond to your comments or visit your blogs and all that good stuff... but I WILL be back next Friday with a brand new post. In the meantime, I'm leaving you with an updated version of an oldie but goodie, which first appeared in 2011.. before any of you were following me... as Sum Tink Wong. So in a way... it's new!

                            *******************************************

Thought for the day:  Man who stand on toilet high on pot.

Have you ever noticed how twisted up translations can become from one language to another? Sometimes, they're pretty frustrating, but they can also be inadvertently funny. Manuals for electronic gadgets can make you want to pull your hair out when the manufacturer's primary language is Japanese. And my hubby bought a box of drill bits, (made in China) only to come home and notice the box declared them to be "dill bits." We thought that was so funny, we kept the box around for a while just to show our friends.


BUT ... wouldn't you think if someone wanted to open a restaurant, a place for American people to come and EAT,  they'd check, check and DOUBLE-check how the name they've selected for that restaurant might translate before hanging their sign out front? I sincerely doubt if any of the following owners gave it a second thought:

What? You say, for some strange reason, you've decided to eat at HOME tonight?

And you have the oddest craving for Chinese food? How about this simple recipe for fried rice:

Surely you have some leftover cold rice in your fridge, right? No? Well, then you'll have to cook some, and stick it in the fridge to let it chill for a while. While it's cooling, you can chop some green onions, and gather whatever veggies and/or meat you want to add to your creation. For four cups of rice, you'll want about a cup of veggie/meat combo. Or more, if you'd like. (It's YOUR dinner.) Shrimp is good, leftover pork, beef, peas, carrots, whatever you happen to have on hand. OK, now beat two eggs and stir fry in 2 T oil (peanut, lard, sesame, or whatever your little heart desires) until the eggs are dry and separated into small pieces. Remove the eggs, put 3 more T oil into the pan, and toss in your veggies, meat and rice. Stir fry for ~5 minutes or so. Add 2 T chicken broth, 3 T soy sauce. Mix well, and then stir in your eggs, 1/2 t pepper and 2 t sesame oil. Voila! Your masterpiece!

Don't feel like rice? How about this? If you're feeling a little, um,  creative, these chicken wings are guaranteed to put a smile on your face:

I think some cross-language double entendres may be intentional. Like a while back, my hubby and I attended a function to honor Vietnam war vets. When Smarticus left the table to get some more food from the buffet, a young Vietnamese man came over to me to introduce himself. For all I know, he was born here in America, because he definitely spoke and acted like any other homegrown American fella his age. At any rate, he was very Americanized, if you know what I mean. Anyway, he looked me right in the eyes, grinned, and said... "I'm hung." Now I'm sure his name's probably spelled Huang or some such, but that's how it sounded. And he didn't say his NAME was hung; he said HE was. I kinda wondered if he wanted me to... congratulate him...? Personally, I think I deserve an Academy award for not laughing hysterically or making some inappropriate, but totally knee-slapping, response to his rather provocative declaration, but I didn't know the guy and didn't want to offend him. In retrospect, considering the way his buddies were laughing and raiding their beer bottles on high, I'm pretty sure either reaction would've been perfectly acceptable. In any language.

Until next time, take care of yourselves. And each other.