Down the Rabbit Hole

Thought for the day: Time's fun when you're having flies.  Kermit the Frog

TICK. TICK. TICK. TICK.           

Is it my imagination, or is that clock getting louder by the moment? And that second hand... it's moving faster, isn't it? Yes, yes, look at it! See? It's whirling like a fan! Feel the breeze?

I swear, I just sat down at my computer  a few minutes ago, and now that big fat lying clock dares to insinuate that three hours have flown past. I ask you, What nefarious plot is afoot?

Alas, and alack, it is I. I've done it to myself. (again)

I read an anonymous quote somewhere that said Writing is 2% talent, and 98% being able to resist the distraction of the Internet. Well, ain't that the truth?! At least, it is for me. (sigh) I sure didn't offer up a lick of resistance today. There are just too darned many rabbit holes calling my name.

But the thing is, I fully intended to whip out a quick blog post, (Well, as quick as I can, which ain't very...)  so I could work on my book, and now, in the snap of a finger, POOF! three hours... gone forever.

My mother used to warn me about "good intentions." She said they're the paving stones on

(Not that agreed with her, but I sure would love to hear her say it again, just one more time.)

Oh well. Since my brain is currently comprised of mush, rather than regale you with some deep philosophical post,  (HA! As if.) how about if I share some of the funny signs I've come across?

In the seventies and eighties, this sign used to be posted on the street right in front of our house. We all KNEW what it was supposed to mean, but our three kids still took a lot of ribbing over it.











Here are some other signs that cracked me up. Hope you get a kick out of them, too.

• On a septic tank:   We're #1 in the #2 business.  
• Over a gynecologist's office:   Dr. Jones, at your cervix.     
• At a proctologist's door:   To expedite your visit, please back in.
• On a plumber's truck:   We repair what your husband fixed.
• On another plumber's truck:   Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.
• On an electrician's truck:  Let us remove your shorts.
• On a dry cleaner's window:   Grime doesn't pay.
• On a maternity room door:   Push. Push. Push.
• On a taxidermist's window:  We know our stuff.    
• On a music shop window:   Gone Chopin. Be Bach in a minuet.
• Outside a muffler shop:   No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.
• In front of a funeral parlor:   Drive carefully. We'll wait.
• At a propane filling station:   Tank heaven for little grills.  
• In a Norwegian cocktail lounge:  Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.
• Hotel air condition instructions, Japan:  If you want condition of warm air in your room, please control yourself.  
• At a Hungarian zoo:  Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.
• Men's restroom, Japan:  To stop leak, turn cock to the right.
• Car rental brochure, Tokyo:  When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage, then tootle him with vigour.
• At a restaurant, Nairobi: Customers who find our waitresses rude ought to see the manager.
• At a hotel, Acapulco:  The manager has personally passed all the water served here.
• Hotel room, Japan: Guests are requested not to smoke or do other disgusting behaviors in bed.
• Surgical facility, Rome: Specialist in women and other diseases.                                                                                                                                   

                                                          OK, enough for now. I'll

So, how about you? Do you sometimes let that crafty Internet (or something else) get between you and your writing? Or you and your housework, or yardwork, whatever? (MUCH more forgivable!) Is procrastination your middle name? Oh, do tell, and if you've learned how to discipline your time spent online, how'd you do it? What's your big secret?

Until next time, take care of yourselves. And each other.

What Are You Waiting For?

Thought for the day: Two blondes were waiting for a bus, and when it finally came, the first one asked the driver if the bus would take her to Peachtree Street. When the driver said no, the second one stuck out her bottom lip and told her, 'Oh, that's too bad!' Then she asked the driver, 'How about me...?'

[image courtesy of unsplash]

Public transportation is readily available in Baltimore, so years  ago, my friends and I usually depended on buses to get us where we wanted to go. Like the blondes in the thought for the day, a bus always stopped to pick us up sooner or later, but unlike them, we were familiar with the bus routes.

But... what if a bus never came? What if the so-called bus stop were nothing more than a replica of a bus stop... a perfectly designed prop?

[image courtesy of unsplash]

I read an article recently about just such a thing. Fake bus stops. They look like regular bus stops... and some of them even look like bus stops from many decades ago... but they're not located near a street, and no bus is ever going to pick up any passengers from them.

They're located next to some nursing homes in Germany. The first was built outside a Dusseldorf nursing home in 2008, and since then, many more have been built at other nursing homes around the country.

Why, you might ask? Alzheimer's patients, as well as those with other forms of dementia, sometimes have a propensity for wandering off, and in many cases, it's because they want to go home... usually to a home from the distant past that no longer exists. Like people who spent the last of their money, only to get on the wrong bus, they're trapped on a ride none of them wanted to take, and they can't get off. Addled, confused, and often lonely, memories of the past are much more real to them than what they had for breakfast on any given day. Since the advent of these bus stops, these patients, filled with a temporary sense of freedom, happily chat with each other while they wait for their bus. Then after a while, they can safely be brought back inside. These nursing home bus stops fill a need and serve a purpose.

COME ON, LADY... IN OR OUT!

I visited nursing homes as a volunteer, and again when my father was a patient in one, and now that I'm getting to be an old bag, the thought of being dumped in a nursing home gives me the shivers. But if I ever DO have to go into one of those places, I think I want it to be in Germany.

No, not because of the fake bus stops. Because of a 2014 calendar. A very cool 2014 calendar created by some very cool residents of the Contilia Nursing Home in Essen, Germany. I read about it some years ago, and the bus stop story reminded me of it. So I looked it up... and found the pics that were made into the limited edition calendar. Wanta see?

JANUARY: Wilhelm Buiting, 89

FEBRUARY: Marianne Brunsbach, 86

MARCH: Erna Rutt, 86 & Alfred Kelbch, 81

APRIL: Erwin J. von der Heiden, 80

MAY: Erna Schenk, 78

JUNE: Ingeborg Giobass, 84 & Erich Endlein, 88

JULY: Lothar Wischnewski, 76 & Margarete Schmidt, 77

AUGUST: Martha Bajohr, 77

SEPTEMBER: Joanna Trachenberg, 81 & Horst Krischat, 78

OCTOBER: Irmgard Alt, 79 & Siegfried Gallasch, 87

NOVEMBER: Johann Liedtke, 92 & Marianne Pape, 79

DECEMBER: Walter Loeser, 98 & Kurt Neuhaus, 90

Dontcha LOVE 'em? Did you recognize all of the characters and/or movie scenes they recreated for their calendar? All of these folks... all the way up to age 98!... had a grand time getting into costume and making the scenes come alive for their calendar, and I love that the home they were in made it possible for them to do it. They showed great compassion and allowed the patients to express themselves in a most unusual way, and they even provided the props, staging and photographers. That's certainly above and beyond anything I've ever heard of any other nursing home doing.

If YOU could recreate any scene from any movie, what would it be? I'm thinking the iconic beach scene in From Here to Eternity... or, ooooh, wouldn't it be cool to be done up like Scarlett O'Hara in that gorgeous gown she made from her green velvet drapes? (Natch, the scene would have to include a very dapper-looking Rhett.)

You know, sometimes without meaning to, we act like we're waiting at a fake bus stop for a bus that will never come. Content to wait for someone or something to come along and take us to the destination of our dreams, we sit passively and waste precious time procrastinating, when we have the capability to get up and climb into the driver's seat ourselves.

Now, I'm not telling you to steal a bus. If you're already on the right bus, and it's heading down the road in exactly the direction you want to go, that's great. Hold on tightly... with whatever you've got... and enjoy the ride.

If you want to go to Peachtree Street, and the bus you're on doesn't go there... how long will you sit there passively and continue to ride in the wrong direction?

And if the bus still hasn't shown up to spirit you away, how long are you willing to wait for something to happen? You are capable. Don't just think about calling that old friend... do it. Don't just wish you could write a book or learn to play the piano... do it. The recipe you've been wanting to try, or the book you wanted to read? Why not do it this week? The good china you've been saving for a special occasion? Why not make that special occasion today?

The bad news is time really does fly. But the good news is... we're the pilots. Stop waiting for something to happen, because that bus you're waiting for may never come. The keys are already right there in your hand. Why not use them?

[image courtesy of unsplash]

                                   Until next time, take care of yourselves. And each other.

All Romp, No Pomp

Thought for the day:  Do electrons have a negative influence on society?

Everybody likes to receive awards. Remember how nice it was to see gold stars on your first grade school papers? Then there's sports trophies and letters, academic awards, medals and ribbons. The plaques and gold watches from work. (Then again, it's highly possible some employers have regressed to giving gold stars.) Even the ubiquitous participation certificates are a nice acknowledgement of endeavor.


The most prestigious awards in the world are probably the Nobel prizes. They not only come with a huge amount of prestige, but a hefty amount of cash, as well. The first Nobel awards were presented in 1901, and as you probably know, they've been funded since year one by the estate of Alfred Nobel, inventor of nitroglycerin and dynamite, who obviously wanted to leave a lasting legacy that didn't go boom.

Ninety years after the first Nobel prize was awarded, a spoof of the Nobel prize was presented for the first time.

The Stinker, Ig Nobel symbol

The Ig Nobel (pronounced ig-no-BELL) prize, a play on the word ignoble, and an American parody of the Nobel prizes, is awarded for the ten most unusual or trivial achievements in scientific research. Organized by The Annals of Improbable Research, a scientific humor magazine, the awards are presented at Harvard University each year, and the presenters are actual Nobel laureate winners. The aim of these awards? First make people laugh, and then make them think. The whimsical-looking awards, suitable for hanging on a bathroom wall, go to serious scientists whose studies may be a bit, shall we say, offbeat. (For example, last year's engineering prize was awarded for a method of collecting whale snot with a remote-controlled helicopter.)

Recently, in a celebration completely devoid of decorum or pomp, this year's winners were feted by the scientific community. Winners included: for chemistry, the inventors of a wasabi-based fire alarm; for medicine, a study that shows decisions can be influenced when we reeeeally have to pee; and for biology, the discovery of a beetle that likes to mate with a beer bottle. American John Perry took the prize in literature for his Theory of Structured Procrastination, which states, "To be a high achiever, always work on something important, using it as a way to avoid doing something even more important." And my personal favorite award went to the mayor of Vilnius, Lithuania, who scored the Ig Nobel Peace prize for demonstrating the problems of illegally parked luxury cars can be solved by running over them with an armored tank.

Peaceful parking through tanks.

Just goes to show ya. Science isn't all serious all the time. The entire ceremony of this year's Ig awards can be found on Youtube, if you care to take a gander, but here's a really cool (and short) promo  you may enjoy.

What's kinda cool is scientists from all over the world dip into their own funds to attend these ceremonies. Allegedly, very few of the recipients turn down the prizes or fail to show up to accept them. Makes me wonder how some other scientists might have responded to an invitation. Here's what I think :

• Audubon would probably wing it.
• Ampere's passport wouldn't be current.
• Darwin would wait to see what evolved.
• Boyle would be under too much pressure to attend.
• Edison would consider it an illuminating experience.
• Einstein would find it relatively easy to attend.
• Ohm might resist the idea.
• Pavlov would drool at the thought.
• Pierre and Marie Curie would radiate enthusiasm.
• Watt would consider it a great way to let off steam.
• Volta would be electrified at the invitation, and Archimedes, absolutely buoyant.

Enough. Just remember: scientists aren't mad, by golly. Their senses of humor can be just as wacky as ours. And science really can be fun.

Until next time, take care of yourselves. And each other.

Procrastinate? Who, ME? (Maybe Later...)

Thought for the day: Time's fun when you're having flies.  Kermit the Frog

TICK. TICK. TICK. TICK.                                                                   TICK. TICK. TICK. TICK.

Is it my imagination, or is that clock getting louder by the moment? And the second hand, it's moving faster, isn't it? Yes, yes, look at it! See? It's whirling like a fan! Feel the breeze?

I sat down at the computer a scant few mintues ago, and yet that big fat lying clock says three hours have passed. What nefarious plot is afoot?

Alas, and alack, it is I. I've done it to myself. (again)

The other day, I read something attributed to that prolific writer Anonymous: "Writing is 2% talent, and 98% being able to resist the distraction of the Internet." Well, ain't that the truth?! At least, it is for me. I sure didn't resist today. Been checking out some other blogs. Good ones, too.

But the thing is, I fully intended to whip out a quick posting for this blog so I could get back to editing my book, and now, in the snap of a finger, POOF! three hours, gone forever.

My mother used to warn me about "good intentions." She said they're the paving stones on

(I don't agree with that, but I wish I could hear her say it again, just one more time.)

OK, I had an idea about what I was going to blog about today, but now I'm running out of t-i-m-e to do it justice. So, we'll save that for another time. For now, I'll just hit y'all with some of the funny signs I've come across. 

In the seventies and eighties, this sign used to be posted on the street right in front of our house. We all KNEW what it was supposed to mean, but our three kids still took a lot of ribbing over it. 




Here's some signs that cracked me up. Hope you get a kick out of them, too.

• On a septic tank:   We're #1 in the #2 business.  
• Over a gynecologist's office:   Dr. Jones, at your cervix.     
• At a proctologist's door:   To expedite your vist, please back in.
• On a plumber's truck:   We repair what your husband fixed.
• On another plumber's truck:   Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.
• On an electrician's truck:  Let us remove your shorts.
• On a dry cleaner's window:   Grime doesn't pay.
• On a maternity room door:   Push. Push. Push.
• On a taxidermist's window:  We know our stuff.    
• On a music shop window:   Gone Chopin. Be Bach in a minuet.
• Outside a muffler shop:   No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.
• In front of a funeral parlor:   Drive carefully. We'll wait.
• At a propane filling station:   Tank heaven for little grills.                                                                                                                                              

OK, enough for now. I'll  

So, how about you? Do you sometimes let that crafy internet (or something else) get between you and your writing? Or you and your housework, or yardwork, whatever? (MUCH more forgiveable!) Is procrastination your middle name? Oh, do tell, and if you've learned how to discipline your time spent online, how'd you do it? What's your big secret?

Until next time, take care of yourselves. And each other. Might be back tomorrow. Might not. Have to hit the grocery store tomorrow. Should've gone yesterday (senior discount day at Publix) but I (ahem) put it off. (At least, I'm consistent!)

Saturday Chillin'

Thought for the day: Are the people who jump off Parisian bridges in Seine?

It's a rainy day here today, and not a moment too soon, I might add, because the pollen was getting to be as high as an elephant's eye. It'll be nice to go outside later and breathe without having to chew first.






Know what yesterday was? Procrastination Day. No kidding. It was started by a Frenchman named David d'Equainville, who says that sometimes the best button to press on our high tech gizmos (and our lives) is the pause button. Think about it. For just one day, no frantic fast forwarding, no rewinding, no sweating all the nitty gritty details, no insane clock-watching or rushing to meet a deadline. I would've told you about it yesterday, but you know how it is. In honor of the day, I decided to put it off. (I'm sure Mr. d'Equainville would approve.)

A great big shout out to Linda: thanks to you, I'm no longer just tooting; I've jumped into the tweeting arena. Thanks for the friendly push. Now, it's sink or swim time.

In New Zealand this past week, a bird had the audacity to poop right on top of some poor fellow's head. In Baltimore, where I grew up, sea gulls and pigeons are almost as numerous as people, so being blessed by a bird is a fairly common occurence. (and pee-in-your-pants funny as long as it's happening to somebody else)Anyway, this gentleman's friends told him it was a good luck sign, (probably AFTER they dried their pants...) so with the (ahem) blessing still adorning his head, he bought a lottery ticket. And won. In fact, that lucky man won a hundred thousand dollars! Pretty cool, huh? Remember that old saying, "If the shoe fits, wear it"? Consider this: ya think that luck-bestowing bird might've been a rare never-before-seen foo bird? Think about it ...

           OK, time to do something industrious. Like take a nap. (Never got around to it yesterday ...)

                             Until next time, take care of yourselves. And each other.


+++++++++
Wackiest news story of the week:  Ft. Wayne, Indiana authorities  ran an online poll to let the people pick the name for the new government building that was about to open, but then the dastards completely ignored the results of that poll. Rather than name the building after a former mayor, as suggested by the wide majority, the authorities chose to name the building Citizen's Square. Rather generic, yes, but not as likely to incur ridicule. You see, the former mayor's name was Harry Baals.