Some people hate Mondays. Not me. Some people can hardly wait for the weekdays to be over and done with, so they can get down to the serious business of squeezing every ounce of pleasure out of the weekend as they can. Not me.
See, once you smash face-first into the glorious age of retirement, every single day has as much potential to be a Funday as the day before... and the day after.
However, I must confess... I do have a certain affinity for Wednesdays.
That's because Wednesday is senior discount day.
Last week, I decided to cash in on a hard-to-resist double-header. Not only do the grocery store and hair cutting chain store both offer old fogie discounts on Wednesdays, but (ta-DA!) they're right next door to each other. Convenient, right?
So, I go diddy-bopping into the hair butcher first, happy as a piggie in the mud.
Until it was time to pay.
They didn't think I was old enough to merit their stinkin' discount.
I mean, just because my Cinderella hair was tied up in a pony tail, and I was blowing bubbles with my chewing gum didn't mean I wasn't old.
Just because I was wearing hot pants and go-go boots
didn't mean I wasn't OLD, dammit.
Now, if you need it, I'll give you the last dollar in my wallet. Hungry? I'll gladly share my food. Cold? I'll give you the shirt off my ... okay, so maybe not that, but you get the point. But DO NOT MESS WITH MY SENIOR DISCOUNT. (Even if it IS only ten cents...) Nice person that I am, I explained to the young gals in the shop that you don't have to look old or act old to be old. I flashed my ID ... and my pearly whites.
And I got my damned discount. Life is good.
Okay, so I wasn't really wearing hot pants. What can I say? The darned things shrunk like crazy since I last wore them. Wasn't wearing that (shudder) shirt, either. Ditto the boots. (My go-go boots went-went a long time ago.)
But if I can find them, I'm gonna have to get a pair of these hot pink ones for the next time I get my hair cut ... just for a laugh. They should go quite nicely with my gray sweat pants, dontcha think?
Isn't wrinkled or drawn.
My house isn't dirty---
The cobwebs are gone.
My garden is lovely,
And so is my lawn.
I think I will not
Put my glasses back on.
[Cary Fellman]
Oops, gotta run. I hear they're having a wet shawl contest at the senior center tonight, so I gotta get ready. What can I say? This red hot grandma was born to be wild.
Until next time, take care of yourself. And each other.
Hilarious post! Thanks. My sisters wore skirts with poodles on them. Did I dream that?
ReplyDeleteI see your 12:34 missy :D
ReplyDeleteI had a hard time when I was trying to gain weight but not buy too many clothes and I resorted to borrowing some of the girls' stuff.
It didn't make me look young - quite the opposite. I still had 45 year old face, but the clothes screamed "teenager". I looked ridiculous. I saw a woman in the thrift store the other day, older than me with a body that hadn't seen firmness in oh, so many years ::ahem:: decades - with a "Hollister" shirt on. I was praying that I never looked like I was grasping at straws to retain my youth. Wow - it scared me. hee
I keep teasing Pooldad that he now qualifies for us to move into an "over 55" community - but that I would have to be grandfather in by virtue of our marriage. What we would do with Wallene beats me, but....I sort of like the idea. heehee But know I would miss all the kids in our neighborhood.
As I grow older, my sense of humor seems to be diminishing, but you had me laughing like a twelve-year-old.
ReplyDeleteWhat I really hate is when I try to buy booze and the cashier - who is young enough to be my daughter - asks to see my I.D.
Holy crap! I've been drinking since Valentino was a matinee idol.
Though I am not quite a senior yet, I am proud to be an AARP member. Some of my older friends even ask me to get senior movie tickets for them. Thanks for the laughs Susan, and the last saying is priceless! Julie
ReplyDeleteDid you really have gogo boots? :)
ReplyDeleteNow, where did I leave my teeth?
ReplyDeleteI remember the day that I received my AARP card. Oh, what a dark and depressing day that was. It was years ago and I have not fully accepted my fate. I still keep those semi-high heeled boots in the back of my closet waiting for the day when I will get my balance back.
ReplyDeleteSad to say, I had the reverse happen to me once. Went shopping on a senior Wednesday and got offered the discount. I was thirty-eight at the time. Grrr.
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm buying a pair of those boots. Yowzer.
LOL! I don't know what's worse--not getting the senior discount when you ask for it, or being offered it when you're not quite eligible yet. (It was a teenager who offered to me. I suppose from his perspective...*sigh*)
ReplyDeleteLOL! Time flies when you're having fun. :)
ReplyDeleteGeo- Nope, I don't think you dreamed it. I had a poodle skirt, too... and wore it with clunky saddle oxfords and bobby socks. (Remember sock hops?)
ReplyDeleteSkippy- I know what you mean. It's next to impossible to find "grown-up" looking clothes in a size two. After I was sick and lost so much weight, I actually resorted to shopping in the girls' department to find something more conservative. I feel for the gal you saw in the thrift shop. She's probably a little like me. I'm still drawn to the same styles I used to wear, but have to punch myself in the face to keep myself from buying them. (Not really!) All I have to do it think of how mortified my grandchildren would be to see me wearing such "young" styles, and I end up getting something more "suitable". (Every time you see that 12:34, it means I'm sending positive thoughts your way.)
Jon- Oh, don't let your sense of humor diminish. I firmly believe we don't stop laughing because we get old, but we DO get "old" when we stop laughing. I know what you mean about the package goods store. When someone in there cards my hubby, he always says, "I've got socks older than you are!"
Julie- Glad to make ya laugh, but that last saying is only precious until it actually happens to you!
Suze- Abso-doggone-lutely! They were white with sassy laces all the way up the front.
Cro- Did you have steak last night?
Arleen- I can't remember exactly what happened to my white go-go boots. I probably got rid of them after my kids teased me for hanging onto them for so many years. Funny thing is, a year or so ago, my son told his wife about "how cool they were", and she wanted to see them. (i.e. to HAVE them)
L.G.- Oh, that's crappy. But not nearly as bad as having someone ask you when the baby's due ... and you aren't pregnant! (Never happened to me, but I was stupid enough to ask someone else that question once.)
Linda- Um, I kinda think having it offered when you're underage would be worse. Then again, to some teenagers, twenty-one is OLD.
Liz- You betcha.
Could we all vote now to hate Skippy Mom. Trying to GAIN weight? What is with her. Sigh....
ReplyDeleteThis post and all the comments were such fun. And I hate to admit how much I relate to that saying on that little plaque.
On a more positive note, I have had people make nice comments that I do not look or act my age. Of course, my mother has been telling me to act my age most of my life. (smile)
Finally a place where there's not one WOOT, not a single LOL, and the mention of GO GO BOOTS. I fit! Thank God I fit at last.
ReplyDeleteMaryAnn- When you mentioned that thing about your mother telling you to "act your age", it reminded me of how my husband used to say that to our kids at times. The thing was, they were like two years old, and they WERE acting their age. HE wanted them to act like grown-ups!
ReplyDeleteC. Lee- Heck, everybody fits in here. One way or another. Thanks so much for stopping by and for signing on as a follower. Welcome aboard!
Classic, Susan...from the title to the last pic. You rock, Old Lady!
ReplyDeleteHaha! I think go-go boots were my first prized possession! Very much like Nancy Sinatra's, and I went over them with Sani-White every week. I own two pairs of boots now, the old Beans, for in case we ever get a New England winter again; and knee-high black leather with laces up the back, which haven't been out of their bag in...
ReplyDeleteFun post, Sus!
"Wet shawl contest" -- BWA-ha-ha-ha-haaaaa!
ReplyDeleteLoved the post and the comments. You guys made my Senior day!
Marian Allen
Fantasies, mysteries, comedies, recipes
Linda- Thanks, whippersnapper!
ReplyDeleteAustan- I still have a couple pairs of boots, too, but they're decidedly clunky, and not nearly as much "fun" as those go-go boots were.
Marian- Great! We seniors have to stick together!
Not usually a problem people complain about!
ReplyDeleteAl- Not really "complaining"... just having fun with it. (But I DO like those discounts!)
ReplyDeleteomg thank you so much for that laugh. And I absolutely adore those boots! They are so cool! Where can I get them?
ReplyDeleteI don't get senior discounts quite yet but I refuse to wear 'old lady' clothes. Sorry, but I was wearing hip-huggers before they came back in style and they happen to look good on me (the pencil thin jeans not so much...).
Susan, you are a hoot and a half! You put the biggest smile on my face today! You certainly do not look like a senior. Nope, no way! Love your voice and if your novel is as good as this post, you're on your way to success, lady!
ReplyDeleteNow, I can relate to your excitement about getting a senior discount. I'm 56 and qualify for the 55 senior discounts, so thank you, Ross, and restaurants who offer those discounts. (What a shame I can't afford to shop at Ross or anywhere else these days!) I'm a new follower and looking forward to more of your posts!
Marcy- Sorry, I found the picture of those boots on morguefile, and have no idea if or where we can actually find them, darn it. Yeah, I don't want to wear "old lady" clothes, either. Mumu? Oh no, no!
ReplyDeleteLynNerd- Thanks. Yeah, I used to only be a hoot, and then I gained weight. Thanks so much for stopping by and for signing on as a follower. Welcome aboard!
but life don't really even begin till 50... so you your still an adolescent.
ReplyDeletefun post!
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ReplyDeleteThank you so much for the best laugh I've had in days. You know, just for the minute there I thought you really were wearing those boots and I was about to throw a real strop because I tried some similar ones on yesterday and couldn't even stand up in them. I love that poem and as for the little hanging thingy at the end of the post, well, it had me laughing til the tears almost...... but not quite ;-)
ReplyDeleteI've sure missed your sense of humour, Susan. You had me laughing at the title!
ReplyDeleteGo Susan go! You have a great attitude. Now go forth and spend money and be wild.
ReplyDeleteSusan. What are you like! :D You're like... brilliant.
ReplyDeleteAnnmarie- OY! Not sure I'd WANT to be an adolescent again! Once was more than enough.
ReplyDeleteRosalind- I'm so glad you found something here to make you laugh. That really makes me feel good.
Kara- Glad to hear it. And it's really good to hear from you again.
Stephen- Okay, I'm going, I'm going... and I'll tell my husband YOU sent me!
CarrieBoo- Aw, shucks. Must be the new toothpaste.
I want those boots. I don't care how old I am. I like my pink and blue hair.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Janie
Janie- That's the attitude!
ReplyDeleteI laughed all the way through this! (Unfortunately, I can easily get the discount, though everyone says I still don't look my age (72) thank goodness! What are you? At least 20 years younger than I am? You're a mere child LOL.
ReplyDeleteAnn- Oh, I'm so glad this made you laugh. Sometimes, I FEEL like a child, but I'm 64. (Counting the days until Medicare kicks in!)
ReplyDelete