Friday, July 26, 2013

Super-Size It, Cowboy

Thought for the day:  In the covered wagon days, if a baby was born in Texarkana while the family was crossing into the Lone Star state, by the time they reached El Paso, the baby would be in third grade.  [Wallace O. Chariton]

[source]

Can ya dig it?

You'd better believe it, pilgrim; they do things up BIG in Texas. Shoot, there's a ranch near Corpus Christi... King Ranch... that's bigger than the entire state of Rhode Island! Then again, I reckon Texas needs big ranches. After all, the state has upwards of  sixteen million cattle. (You gotta beef with that?)

Most of us associate the Lone Star State with oil wells, cattle ranches, pick-up trucks, and twenty-gallon Stetsons, (Hey! Ten gallons ain't big enough for Texans!) but it also has more sheep (and wool) than any other state, as well as the largest herd of whitetail deer in the country. Add to that the largest rose garden in the world at the 22-acre Tyler Municipal Rose Garden, and the not-so-hot reputation for releasing more greenhouse gases than most countries on the planet. Oh, and let us not forget the world's largest Calf Fry Cook-Off, held in Amarillo every year. What's that, you say? Shhhhh... bull testicles. Um, yeah.

The deadliest natural disaster took place in Texas, too— the Galveston hurricane of 1900, which killed from 8000-12000 people. (And no, I don't know why there's such a wide range in the mortality estimate.) As hard as it may be for Texans currently suffering through a miserable drought to believe, the state holds the national record for the most rainfall within a 24-hour period. During Tropical Storm Claudette in 1979, a total of forty-five inches drenched the state, forty-three of which fell within that 24-hour time frame. Lots of other superlatives to describe Texas, but suffice it to say it boasts the world's largest parking lot, (at Dallas/Ft.Worth Airport) the world's largest rattlesnake round-up, the largest Ferris wheel in the Western hemisphere, and a place called Big Texan Steak Ranch Restaurant, where what must be the world's largest steak is served. Anyone who can eat its signature 4 1/2 pound steak within an hour gets it for free. What a deal, huh? Unfortunately, there's no indication as to whether the restaurant provides a free ambulance ride to the cardiac care unit afterwards.

WAIT! Hold the presses! In the midst of all these biggest claims to fame, and there's plenty more of them, Texas also holds one lonely little record for the smallest. Warrenton, Texas has the smallest Catholic church in the world. It measure twelve feet by fifteen feet, and can seat fifteen parishioners, but its doors only open once a year. (Easter, maybe?)

Okay, before I end up turning this into the biggest post, how's about if we move along and check out some pictures, shall we?

 Some people who consider these critters to be little more than an armored nuisance may refer to them as a rat on the half-shell, but to me, they're right up there with the duck-billed platypus. The armadillo is the official state animal of Texas, and while some of you may have already known this little tid-bit, I find it to be fascinating: they always have four babies. The female lays a single egg, and then it splits into four, so all four babies are always of the same sex, too.

The Alamo, in San Antonio, is the memorable site where 187 determined Texans fought and died in 1836, while attempting to defend the fortress against 4-5000 Mexican soldiers.





In Ft. Worth, you can find Billy Bob's Texas, the world's largest (of course!) Country and Western honky-tonk. Would you believe this place is sooooo big, it actually houses a 4800 square foot rodeo arena?! Yowza. Pictured here is the rather sizable dance floor. Can't you just imagine the blaring music, and a huge crowd of people shuffling around the floor, doing the Texas two-step in blue jeans and pointy-toed cowboy boots?

The Texas capitol building, which opened in 1888,  was built with fifteen thousand carloads of pink marble. Yep, you guessed it; it's the largest state capital building in the country. Matter of fact, its dome is seven feet higher than the National Capitol in Washington, D.C.

Texas is the only state that's been governed under six different national flags: Spain, France, Mexico, Republic of Texas, the Confederacy, and the U.S. It's also the only state that joined the union by way of a treaty, (in 1845) and by virtue of it being a sovereign nation before joining, it retained some rights denied to other states:  For example, Texas owns all of its land, so the Federal government must ask permission if it wants to create a park or cut timber there. The state also retains the right to fly its state flag at the same height as the national flag.


Katy, Texas was once the home of America's only replica of China's Forbidden City. Known as the Forbidden Gardens, this amazing place had these full-scale statues, as well as a complete recreation of the Emperor's throne, and a 1/3 scale terra cotta army. Unfortunately, this unique site closed in 2011 to make way for the Grand Parkway. When it closed, the terra cotta soldiers were offered on Craig's List for one hundred dollars apiece, but excessive demand quickly shut down the offer. Whatever happened to them and the rest of the items that were in Katy? I don't know.

Other really-musta-been-cool stuff that used to be in Texas, but are no more: the Flagship Hotel on Seawall Boulevard in Galveston. It used to be the only hotel in North America that was built completely over the water. Alas, it was demolished in 2011. Okay, so maybe cool isn't the most appropriate word to describe this place, but it is... gone. Plano used to be the site of the Cockroach Hall of Fame Museum. Uh-huh. Big ol' dead roaches were dressed up and displayed in dioramas... one was sitting at a tiny piano, dressed up like Liberace. See? Unique, right? Anyhow, the owner closed up shop and moved to Phoenix last year. So who knows? You guys in Arizona might pick up another new museum in the near future.

Curious about that biggest rattlesnake round-up in the world I mentioned earlier?



Who needs a museum devoted to roaches? The Perot Museum of Nature and Science in Dallas sounds a heckuva lot better. It includes a children's museum, segments on sports, dinosaurs and evolution, energy, and earth sciences. Even has an earthquake simulator. I don't know if it's the biggest museum, but it does have a 1.5 ton geode— that's gotta be pretty high up there on the top of the scale. But what sounds most intriguing to me about this museum is a build your own bird exhibit. Visitors can select wings, birdsong, ( Born to Be Wild would be kinda fun...) diets, tails, feet, and feathers to construct it, and then they can put on 3-D glasses and make it fly! That's outside of anything I've ever seen in a museum, so it sounds totally cool to me.





The San Jacinto Monument, near Houston, is among the tallest in the world. At 570 feet, it's twenty feet taller than the Washington Monument in D.C.

The first suspension bridge in the United States is the Waco Bridge, which was built in 1870, and is still used today as a pedestrian crossing of the Brazos River.


Here we have another museum. Located in San Antonio, the Witte, among other things, houses the Hertzberg Circus Collection, more than 4200 artifacts from the heyday of circus popularity, dating as far back as 1893.




The sheriff and a deputy from Trinity, Texas were on TV a couple weeks ago, and they mentioned a popular pastime in their small town. Something called chicken poop bingo. Natch, that piqued my sophisticated curiosity, so I had to check into that. Guess what? I even found a video! (Lucky you!)



Okay, we've gotta get your minds off chicken poop, so how's about stuffing them with sausages? Because of its large (Of course!) German-heritage population, New Braunfels holds a ten-day festival every year in celebration of wursts. Naturally, it also includes appropriate music and attire... and oh yeah, beer. Matter of fact, guess what else you can see at this festival? The world's largest beer bottle collection.



Okeydoke, let's move on to see what kinds of cockamamie laws are still languishing on the books in the fine state of Texas, shall we?


  • One must acknowledge a supreme being before being able to hold public office.
  • It's illegal to sell one's eye. (Maybe you can lend it?)
  • It's against the law to swear in front of a corpse, or to indecently expose one. 
  • When two trains meet each other at a railroad crossing, each shall come to a full stop, and neither shall proceed until the other has gone. (Say, huh?)
  • It's illegal to take more than three sips of beer at a time while standing. (So sit down, bozo!)
  • It's against the law to shoot a buffalo from the second story of a hotel. (Go up a flight or two.)
  • It's illegal to milk another person's cow. (That kinda sounds like a euphemism, doesn't it?)
  • A recently passed anti-crime law require criminals to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, to explain the nature of the crime to be committed. (How, um, considerate of them...)
  • The entire Encyclopedia Britannica is banned in Texas, because it contains a recipe for making beer at home. (How dastardly! I guess the recipes for homemade explosives aren't a problem.)
  • In Abilene, it's illegal to idle or loiter with the purpose of flirting or mashing. (But officer, those sweet little taters were asking for it!)
  • In Austin, it's against the law to carry wire cutters in your pocket. (How about a Leatherman?)
  • In the town of Borger, you can't throw confetti, rubber balls, whips, firecrackers, or... feather dusters. 
  • Texas must have a problem with feather dusters. In Clarendon, it's illegal to use one to dust any public building. (Keep those foxy feathers at home, ladies.)
  • Sorry, you can't raise an alligator in your home if you live in Corpus Christi. 
  • It's illegal to own a realistic dildo in Dallas. (Paint it, maybe? With stripes and polka dots?)
  • In El Paso, it's against the law to wear a lewd dress in public. (Honest, officer, my dress isn't like that at all— it's just friendly...
  • Better sit on those hands! In Galveston, it's illegal to make offensive gestures at a special event.
  • You also have to get permission from the director of parks and recreation before getting drunk in any city parks. Oh, and you can't let your camel run loose on the beach, either. (Better put a leash on him.)
  • Finally, in Galveston, it's also illegal to throw trash from an airplane. (But it is still permissible to flush.)
  • Fire and brimstone is okay to preach from the pulpit, but thou shalt not disrupt any church service in Harker Heights by swearing.
  • In Houston, it's illegal to sell limburger cheese on Sundays. (Now, that just stinks!)
  • Also in Houston, beer may not be sold after midnight on Sunday, but it may be sold on Monday. (?)
  • In Lubbock county, it's illegal to drive within arm's length of alcohol... even if that alcohol is in another person's bloodstream. (Put the lush in the trunk!)
  • I guess parents in Mesquite can't save money by cutting their kids' hair. It's against the law for children their to have unusual haircuts.
  • The dress code in  Odessa makes it taboo to wear a star of David or a peace symbol, because they're both considered satanic symbols.
  • In Port Arthur, it's illegal to emit obnoxious odors in an elevator. (I'll bet midgets really appreciate this law.)
  • In San Antonio, it's against the law to flirt or respond to flirting with the eyes or hand. (Using other body parts is evidently acceptable.)
  • In Temple, cattle thieves may be hung on the spot, and it's AOK to ride your horse into the saloon. (A whiskey for me, and a double oatmeal cookie in a bowl for my friend here, barkeep.)
  • And finally, last but not least, in Texarkana, owners of horses may not ride them at night without tail lights. (Where do ya put the battery?)
This is ordinarily the point at which I'd say it's time for (ta-DA!) the weirdest news stories of the week, but I don't have time to hunt for them right now. (Sorry.) One of the strangest— although we really shouldn't be surprised— stories in the news recently involves good ol' never-give-up politician Weiner from New York. His twitter tallywhacker-waving made the news a couple years ago, which of course I  had great fun with in an unlikely hero post but he's baaaaack! Not only does he have the temerity to run for mayor of New York, it seems (surprise!) his much-publicized regrets about his past behavior, which caused him to step down from his Congressional seat last time... may have been nothing more than regret about being caught with his pants down, because it didn't stop him from tweeting more pics of himself. The funny thing? Based on other political scandals, there's a good chance he'll be elected. Go figure. I guess it's a case of better the hooligan ya know than the one you don't. 

Oh well. No weird news, but here's some cowboy philosophy and humor, courtesy of Will Rogers. (1879-1935)


  • There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.
  • Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.
  • A fool and his money are soon elected.
  • Good judgement comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgement.
  • Don't let yesterday use up too much of today.
  • Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
  • What the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds.
  • All I know is just what I read in the paper, and that's an alibi for my ignorance.
  • Letting the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in.
  • Buy land; they ain't making any more of the stuff.
  • Things ain't what they used to be, and never were.
  • Get someone else to blow your horn, and the sound will carry twice as far.
  • Never miss a good chance to shut up.
  • Always drink upstream from the herd.
  • We are all here for a spell; get all the good laughs you can.

.As a heads up, the lovely Janie Junebug is gonna be interviewing me on her blog on Monday. We'd love it if you'd be neighborly and stop on by for a visit. We'll throw a nice little side of beef on the grill . (Don't worry... plenty of veggies, too.)

That's it for now, pardners. Until next time, take care of yourselves. And each other.

[Images courtesy of Wikipedia, morguefile, and seniorark]

90 comments:

  1. Well being born and raised in Texarkana ~ I left at 18 ... west to Dallas. I've traveled the ol State from top to bottom and east to west. I've traveled and explored 44 states of our gorgeous country.

    I can tell you that it indeed takes 8 years to git from one end to the other.

    Horses aren't allowed downtown any longer except for carriage rides in various little towns such as Jefferson ... the lights are on the back of the carriage. ;)

    I worked with a Rattlesnake Roundup Queen! .. circa 1970 ~ this is held in Sweetwater ~ I said you are what? HAHaaa… oh, me… she said HEY this is serios stuff and explained the Roundup… you have GOT to be kidding me. nope

    AND the biggest steak is in Amarillo ... Aransas Pass and South Padre are great dolphin places and fabulous bird watching.

    Very hot.

    Our politicians are an embarrassment. period. they make me sneeze

    What fun, Susan ... you and the states' posts ~ those who are church goers don't know that their candidates don't have to prove their beliefs. they will say anything to get the church goer's votes ~ sheeple are funny if they weren't so frustratingly dangerous...

    BUT hey hey hey ... Wendy Davis! is gonna help get Texas back to the Ann Richards days ... women are people! yay

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    1. YOU should be the one doing these posts about the states. On at least forty-four of them, you could write from first-hand knowledge, instead of doing all the research I've had to do. (But for an information junkie like me, it's been fun!)

      After looking at several videos of those rattlesnake round-ups, that's kinda what I said, too, "You have GOT to be kidding me!" But I reckon for the folks who've grown up with it as a "sport" and have been participating for a lot of years, it's um, good clean fun. The snakes, however, probably wouldn't agree.

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    2. I did write about my journeys this past year ... wish I had been blogging all the other years. Each state is magnificent... I truly mean that. I'm more of a river, mountain ~ green than a desert kinda kid ... but how unique it all is.

      And Luckenbach is just a hoot. Had to wait for at least an hour while mama turkey and baby turkeys crossed the road... and the circle of fire? or something like that ... it's just a great experience if anyone ever gets close to there... don't miss it ... it's in the Hill Country and not too far from Austin.

      great senses of humor in Texas... and the originator of buhlshit. no one can say bullshit like a Texan much less bullshit like a Texan... it's an art form

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    3. Well then, it sounds like I need to make time to do a little more browsing on your blog. (In my spare time, of course...)

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  2. Hmmm... Kinda hard to follow someone flyin' on a case of Lone Star Beer, but I'll give it a whirl...

    Susan, I was surprised that there was no mention of Cadillac Ranch, and no photo to (cowboy) boot!

    In 1983, I drove across Texas. Sadly, it was night and blacker'n the bottom of a Texan's boot when we drove past Cadillac Ranch. Didn't see a single tail fin stickin' outta da dirt, dern-it!

    And no mention of the BIG Waylon Jennings (a Texas native) hit song 'LUCKENBACH, TEXAS', and the fact that he told every audience that he personally hated the song but was playing it only because... "Y'all wanna hear it."?

    If you’ve never heard it, TODD SNIDER does a funny monologue and song based on Waylon’s (and Willie’s) hit ‘Luckenbach, Texas’. There are a couple of “bad” words, but it’s still funnier’n shi-- ...er, funnier’n heck!

    If interested, Susan, you’ll find Snider’s song HERE. I think it’s a Krazy Country Classic!

    ~ D-FensDogg
    ‘Loyal American Underground’

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    1. The reason I didn't mention Cadillac Ranch is I never heard of it before. Kinda like you telling me about the Oregon vortex. (Thank ye kindly!) Now that you've kicked me in the curiosity, I'll definitely have to look it up.

      There are a bazillion other things about Texas that coulda been mentioned, (It is a BIG place with LOTS of stuff happening!) so I had to pick and choose.

      I never heard of Todd Snider before either, but I loved that clip. Both the humor and the song. I'll have to see if I can find the music and lyrics for it, because it'd fit right into my "repertoire"... and hey! Only three chords? I should be able to do that in my sleep, right? Thanks a lot.

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    2. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hc-xXOE1Jws

      Susan, I've tried and tried to find your blog bit about California. I done gave up. How 'bout a little help? A link? A URL? A clue?

      ~ D-FensDogg
      'Loyal American Underground'

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    3. You can find the post in the archives: August 19, 2011. Be forewarned, when I started doing the state posts, I was more focused on the nutty laws than the sight-seeing, so there are even more gaps in the virtual tour.

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  3. Dear Susan,
    thank you for turning me into the person who knows absolutely most about Texas among my wide range of my German friends! I loved your post immensely, will - with your name under it - send the valuable laws to my son and daughter-in-law to Munich (they are both in their final training phase of getting barristers, and son wrote his doctorate about US/German Laws - and they made their 6 week honey-moon holidays through the USA). Thank you for warning me to let my feather-duster at home if I ever come to Texas (though I can tell the officials it is professional equippment, as I wrote a successful book for young men about how to do household scores, no joke). Ah, and I liked Will Rogers quotes - last week I could follow his advice about shutting up - reason: my laryngitis. Now I can chirp again).
    Thank you for all the so-well presented information - I really loved it and will share it on Google + Britta

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    1. Hi, Britta. I'm glad you enjoyed it. I've had fun poking fun at the old archaic laws that are still on the books in various states around the country. Unenforced, thank goodness, but still there. I wonder if other countries leave stupid laws on their books, too. For what? History's sake? Maybe it's just so people like me can make fun of them. I dunno, but there are really some wacky ones.

      I'm so glad your laryngitis is gone. Nothing worse than having something to say and no voice left to say it. (You'll have to make up for lost time this week!)

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  4. Hi Susan .. I won't carry wire-cutters when I visit friends in Austin .. what a lot of facts about Texas though .. then you get wonderfully informative long comments to match your post!

    Cheers Hilary

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    1. Yes, it is SO much fun when people leave such terrific comments... and better yet, when they get into commenting on each other's comments. Makes it more like a conversation. (And I'm always happy to have you take part.)

      Cheers to you, too!

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  5. I spent a week in in San Antonio during the Hemisfair in '68. Nice place. Fireflies. I remember places like Commerce and Sabinal that were in a mellow medium between Mayberry and the Twilight Zone. I liked Texas except for Hondo where I waited all day for a bus. Unbelievable open space. Good memories that went a long ways, but I elected to settle where I could use a feather duster any time I wished.

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    1. HA! I love that line : "between Mayberry and the Twilight Zone." Yes, you're much better of in California, dude. Not just for that feather duster, either; a man should have the right to take as many swallows of beer as he likes, and eat his Limburger cheese in an elevator. (That IS the obnoxious odor they were talking about, isn't it?)

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  6. Well, I have been educated... lol

    I think it is so funny when we actually read some of the laws that are still on the books... they make no sense now and actually they made no sense then... however; they do give us a laugh...

    You always find the most interesting facts... :)

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    1. There ya go. That's my "job"... to educate and amuse. (The pay really sucks, though.)

      Yeah, these old wacko laws either make us scratch our heads or laugh. Either way, they fit right into my blog.

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  7. Was that one constipated chicken bingo player?! I hope that game didn't go on for days! Lots of fun facts about Texas.

    Julie

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    1. HA! Well, I DID find other clips where the chicken was much more, um, generous with picking numbers for the Bingo players, but I figured my blog has too much "class" to show a chicken pooping all over the place. (HA! Riiiiight!)

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  8. I loved the post , it is so interesting :)
    Just joined your blog :)

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    1. Thanks, Aunt Mary! I'm glad you enjoyed it, and welcome aboard! Put the tea kettle on, because I'm on my way to your place now. (I'll bring some cookies.)

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  9. I learned a few things about Texas. They do like to do things big. We have armadillos that live in the woods behind our house. I didn't know that about always having four babies. I just wish they would stop tearing up our lawn.

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    1. Seeing's as you sound rather disenchanted with what armadillos are doing to your yard, I don't guess I should tell you I'm jealous, huh? I haven't seen any armadillos at all in our area. We do have a resident raccoon who comes into our yard on a regular basis, though... even in the middle of the day. I'd like to think it's because he's irresistibly attracted by our charms, but It COULD have something to do with the food and water we leave out for stray cats...

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  10. True story (read on):

    Texan driving through Arlington, Vermont. Stops by the roadside and sees a farmer in his fields. Farmer comes over, and they chat.
    "So," says Texan, "how big's your spread?"
    "Wa-a-al," says farmer, "go along yon fence line, over that hill, round, then come back down to the road."
    "That's your spread?"
    "Ayuh."
    "Well, my spread is so large, I can get in my pickup and drive all day, camp over night, drive the next day and not reach the other side till evening!"
    Farmer nods and spits. "Ayuh. I had a pickup like that, once..."
    (HAS to be true. It was told to me by a Vermonter - a relative of my mother!)

    I'll be looking for the interview.

    Diana at About Myself By Myself


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    1. First off, I read somewhere that it's not nice to ask a Texan how big his, um, "spread" is. Just sayin'...

      Great story! And of course, if it came from a Vermonter, it's gotta be true. They're even more reliable than the Internet.

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  11. Ummm, I've pre-scheduled a post for tomorrow (Saturday 27th) showing how big Texas is compared to one of our states....I'll scroll back up and read this now.

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    1. Oh, cool! I'll swing by to read it this weekend.

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  12. Texas is depleting the ozone layer all by itself with sixteen million farting cattle roaming around. With that many cattle on the loose it must be difficult for Texans to "always drink upstream from the herd".

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    1. HA! This has got to be one of your wittiest comments ever. Love it.

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  13. Your photo of The Alamo looks nothing like what I've seen on old western movies, mostly starring John Wayne, where the building and grounds were often littered with shot, dead or dying soldiers.
    Yours is prettier.
    I haven't heard the word "tallywhacker" in years!

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    1. Oh absolutely, dead bodies have a way of detracting from the beauty of a place, don't they?

      Too bad. Tallywhacker is a terrific word, isn't it? Perhaps we should make a concerted effort to whip it out more often. So to speak.

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  14. Hey, you forgot "Linda Grimes was born in Wichita Falls, TX, and raised in San Antonio." *grin*

    I'm pretty sure I broke a few of those laws while living in the Lone Star state. Notably, the three-sip beer law and the flirting law. ;)

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    1. Oh no! And that's THE most memorable claim to fame of the whole darn state. Heck, someday, your childhood home will be a tourist attraction. You just mark my words...

      I'm sure exceeding the three sips led to the flirting, but as long as there was no mashing involved, I'm sure the media won't give you a hard time about it. After all, great writers are EXPECTED to drink, ya know...

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  15. When I was a child and being enamored with the stories of the old west, I wanted to live in Texas. I have been there, but only in the airports of Houston and Dallas while changing planes in the summer for cooler places. At this point of life, it is just too hot there for me. Besides, the Lone Ranger is no longer there.

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    1. Yes, you're right. Without the Lone Ranger, the gild has faded from the lily. Matter of fact, in that heat, the lily has probably wilted, too.

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  16. Great tribute to the state of Texas! I have always wanted to see The Alamo. Maybe I will get there some day. I have been to Texas, but it was a quick trip. So enjoyed your post.

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    1. Hi-ya, Betty. It's nice to meet ya. Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment. I'm glad you enjoyed the post. Now get ready! Here I come to visit your blog.

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  17. I've been to many of the places you mention since my hubs is from Texas. A family member of his survived the Galveston hurricane. The only city I find habitable is Austin, Texas. Otherwise, there isn't much I like there. But I'm a Yankee, what can I say?

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    1. Oh wow, it must be something to hear about that hurricane first-hand from someone who actually went through it. I've never been to Texas, but there are a lot of things I wouldn't mind seeing there. (Carol Kilgore would put us up on her spread while we're there, right? HA!)

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  18. Honestly it should be illegal to sell limburger cheese everywhere. That's a law I'd support LOL. I love cheese of all kinds except that one.

    I've never been to Texas but would love to visit sometime. Interesting that the armadillos always have four babies! I love weird little facts like that.

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    1. So poor ol' Limburger cheese doesn't pass your whiff test, huh? It doesn't taste that bad, really. I used to eat it with my grandfather. Outside. (My grandmother wouldn't let him open it in the house!) Can't say that I've ever bought it, though. Or ever will buy it.

      Yeah, me too. Weirdfacts should be my middle name.

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  19. There's a lot to cover on that state. Glad I don't live there, I'd be too busy sight-seeing to get anything else done. Great job and that state deserves a big cheer. Too bad I'm one of the people who have to learn by peeing on the electric fence. ha

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    1. HA! But people who test the fence by peeing on it are independent and know how to think for themselves. Yep, that sounds like you! Ya know, your state isn't exactly slack on sightseeing opportunities.

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  20. After all that I'm going to have to lie down for a while; on my small bed, in my small cottage, for a small snooze.

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    1. Hmmm, sounds like a little slice of heaven to me... and a mighty fine idea.

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  21. When my mom and I knew we were leaving Georgia last summer, I thought long and hard about Texas. Even though I have never been there, something about Texas appeals to me. My mom nixed it because she didn't want to live in the desert. Too hot and then too cold. Reading your post, I love the fact that Texas is still essentially independent. You never know when that might become necessary. A friend and I have talked several times about Texas being the state who legally has every right to secede from the Union any time it desires. Even better, Texas has the resources to actually do it.

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    1. Yes, Texas definitely is in a league of its own, and I have a feeling you'd fit right in, cowgirl. Your mom might not mind the Galveston area. No desert there, and it looks quite beautiful.

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  22. Oh, yeah. Definitely been there more than once. The last time was when my oldest nephew got married in Galveston. He and his wife have three sons now (what were they thinking?). Two of my sisters live near Dallas, where they work. Check out Bluebonnet Waste Control. My sisters are in the garbage business.

    Love,
    Janie

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    1. Well, cool. Not just that you've been there, but that you and your sisters are in the same line of work. Think about it: don't ya clear the garbage out of those manuscripts you edit?

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    2. I don't think authors would appreciate that analogy.

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    3. They will if they have a sense of humor.

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  23. I've only ever changed planes in Texas... Dallas. I think it's too hot down there for me. Although it's still dry up here in the PNW, it's not as hot.

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    1. From what I've seen in the news, you've had a pretty good dose of hot as Hades weather in the PNW this year, too. (Probably not as bad as Texas, though.)

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  24. I married a Texan. I have good friends here and life is fine. I have actually lived more than half my life here, but in no way do I ever consider myself a Texan. And I don't plan to die here. It's too hot. I think hell could be cooler!!! Excellent post and you covered a lot. I will say Dallas is a wanna be NYC, though they won't admit it. Fort Worth is truly a great little city that embraces its heritage and also moves on with dignity and class.

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    1. If memory serves, didn't you go to the Perot Museum a couple weeks ago? If so, did you guys build your own bird? (That exhibit sounds soooo cool.)

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  25. Austin is really quite a nice place.

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    Replies
    1. It sounds like Texas has quite a few nice places. (They've got the room for it!)

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  26. One big shovel indeed
    Neat facts to read
    If ever near
    I won't flirt off my rear
    Wouldn't want jail
    That would be a fail

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    Replies
    1. Yep, in Texas,
      Everything's big,
      So ya need a big shovel
      If you wanta dig.

      It's okay to dig in the dirt,
      But, better be careful how you flirt.
      And watch where you eat that Limburger cheese,
      And remember... no flatulence in elevators, please.

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  27. I'm from Texas and have been to nearly every place you describe. I went to school in Fort Worth--it's where I met my husband-- and never went to Billy Bob's but remember it well. It was mentioned all the time.

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    1. Oh, very cool! I can't imagine you playing chicken poop bingo, but I betcha you do a mean two-step.

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  28. Very interesting post, Susan.
    I don't think I will ever visit Texas so thank you for enlightening me!
    Have a lovely weekend!

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    Replies
    1. Glad ya liked it. We're getting enlightened together. I haven't been to all the states, but I've had a lot of fun learning about them.

      You have a lovely weekend, too.

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  29. Interesting stuff about the armadillo eggs...

    My husband had a job interview in Texas once, but he turned down the job. It was in the middle of nowhere and we were much better off ending up in Florida.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Yeah, I thought that tidbit about the armadillos was interesting, too.

      As warm (i.e. hot) as it can be in Florida, I think it's downright balmy compared to what you would've seen in Texas.

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  30. Susan, how on earth did I ever miss your post on Texas????
    It musta have been so BIG that I couldn't see it!!!!!

    Well, you covered just about everything of interest in the Lone Star State. The only thing I'll add is that Texas is a helluva lot more romantic and appealing if you've never been here. It looks much better in the movies or on the pages of books. Reality sucks.

    I laughed at the liquor law in Lubbock. Heck everyone who drives there is either soused or on drugs.

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    1. Howdy, cowboy. I figured you'd show up sooner or later.

      Okay, so Texas reality may not be as good as the fantasy, but isn't that true of most places? (You'll notice I didn't show any pictures of a sandstorm... I'll leave that to you.)

      Spend a lot of time in Lubbock, do ya...?

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  31. Fun post, as always! I had no idea about the terra cotta replicas--wish I'd been able to see it, and especially pick up a few of those guys! I'd love to freak out my neighbors with them a little :) Would make for lots of fun to have them in my front yard!

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    1. I would've liked to see that Forbidden Garden, too. Closest thing we've seen to it was at Epcot Center in Orlando last year. Like I said, I don't know what happened to those terra cotta warriors after the Craigs list sale shut down, so they may still be available, if you can find 'em.

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  32. I know I am late to the party, but I think Pee Wee said in "Pee Wee's Big Adventure."

    Everything's big in Texas!

    Years ago I went to Gilley's, near Houston, and it sounded like Billy Bob's (had an indoor arena where they held monster truck pulls). Not sure if that's still around.

    Here's a link to the Todd Snider lyrics/chords for the song McCarthy mentions. I recommend seeing him if you ever get the chance.

    Larry

    http://tabs.ultimate-guitar.com/t/todd_snider/ballad_of_devils_backbone_tavern_crd.htm

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    Replies
    1. Nah, not late. The party's never-ending.

      I didn't see any recent info about Gilley's when I was researching, but I hope it's still there. It's one of those iconic places one associates with Texas. (Didja ride the bull?)

      Thanks for the link for that song! Terrific. Time to blow the dust off the ol' guitar.

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  33. you should work for the texas tourism industry! :) whew! jam-packed with stuff to see and do!

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    1. HA! I'm just yammering about stuff; you're in a position to actually see and do all those things.

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  34. I didn't know the armadillo tidbit, that's a fun fact!

    The laws made me laugh, it's so ludicrous that some of them were even considered legit enough to put on paper. :)

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    1. I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought that armadillo tidbit was interesting.

      Yeah, some of the laws still on the books really crack me up.

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  35. Surprisingly (and I looked it up to help my post which will...uh...post on Tuesday), Texas does NOT have the most Republicans. I had a joke all set up but had to leave it on the editing room floor. You know which state has the biggest percentage of Republicans? Utah. They also have the biggest percentage of Mormons. I'm thinking the two are related somehow.

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    Replies
    1. That IS a bit of a surprise. Maybe Texan Republicans just make the news more often, and speak a little louder to make us THINK there's more of them than there are.

      Utah, huh? I'll have to make sure to catch your post on Tuesday to see where you go with it.

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  36. Incidentally, if I had my preference, I'd move to Texas in a heartbeat.

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  37. No mashing in Abilene—got it. Tons of fun facts about Texas, Susan! I've never really been to Texas, although I've spent plenty of time waiting for delayed flights at the DFW airport, and we did drive across Texas when we moved to Georgia from California. Does that count?

    Would have loved to have seen the Forbidden Gardens, but I'd settle for the largest rose garden in the world. Time to visit Texas!

    VR Barkowski

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    1. OY! A drive from California to Georgia. Makes my butt hurt just to think about spending that much time in a car. And yes, driving across Texas definitely counts... that's more than I've done!

      You mentioned the Forbidden Gardens and the rose garden, but I didn't notice a mention for the now-shuttered Cockroach Hall of Fame. That kinda bugs me...

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  38. Never knew so many facts about the Lone Star State. Had good fun reading about some of the laws still prevalent in the state.

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  39. You really could go work for Texas tourism. That was an amazing amount of Texas information. I will definitely check out the interview tomorrow.

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    1. Nah, I'd rather stick with my current job... servant to two spoiled cats. Seeya on Janie's blog!

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  40. Lol! Paint the dildo with tiger stripes?

    Great and interesting post. Very informative!

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    1. Oh, yes! Tier stripes would be lovely...

      Thanks. Glad you enjoyed it.

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  41. Hey Susan,

    Yeah I know. Sorry for such a delay in one of my comments that wont be the size of Texas. Will keep it very brief, y'all.

    Susan, you certainly know how to shovel out an extremely long posting. An informative posting that does the State of Texas proud. And my state of confusion, even more so. Isn't there a city named Armadillo, Texas? As in, "show me the way to Armadillo..." Oops, "Amarillo". Doh! and Yeehaa!

    Gary :)

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    1. Yeah, I have a real knack for shoveling, um... stuff.

      (There SHOULD be town named Armadillo!)

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  42. Greetings from San Antonio!
    However did I miss this post? Great job.

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    1. Hi-ya. I dunno. You musta been doing something BIG...

      I'm glad you liked it.

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