Friday, July 19, 2013

You'd Better Shop Around


Thought for the day:  Seeing's as how most of the merchandise sold in America's WalMarts was produced in China, do you suppose most of the stuff in China's WalMarts was made in the USA?


Nah, I don't think so, either.

Even though WalMart stores have popped up in many parts of the world, including China, the merchandise must vary quite a bit from country to country. I mean, how likely is it that a shopper in China would have any interest in buying corn dogs, a book about Uncle Sam, or a Super Bowl tee shirt?

So what does a WalMart shopper in China want to buy, you ask? Hehe. I'm so glad you asked, because we're about to take a little gander inside a Chinese


                                                                    Ready??? Here goes!


Not sure if the powdered horse milk is for foals or fools people.



I reckon anti-bacterial undies keep a fella's dong phu from getting too phooey, huh?





In case you can't tell, that's assorted reptile parts in them there bags. For most of us, frog legs are about as adventurous as we wanta get.












Underwear may be sanitized, but Chinese people evidently don't have a problem scooping rice out of big open-air bins.



Now, this is a bunch of bull. Or at least, it's a pile of a certain anatomical part of a bunch of bulls, if you get my drift An aphrodisiac, maybe? More like a purgative, if ya ask me.

Not the kind of Crocs we're accustomed to seeing at the store, is it?


So exactly what do you remove from water to make it dietetic? Oh, wait! I've got it. Maybe they add something to it. Like ipecac. That'd knock those pounds right off...




YUM! Savory duck carcasses.


What? Not interested in DIY frog legs?




Again, no concerns about the sanitary conditions of bulk meat, either.



Now these are kinda cool. More men might drink water if it tasted like meat. Hey! Where's the bacon...?
















Um, yep. Those things are exactly what they look like. Pig faces. Smoked, maybe? I'd rather have bacon with my eggs, thank you very much.






How about some assorted animal ribs? No need to be shy, people... just help yourself.


Although this picture was included on numerous websites along with a mess of other shots allegedly taken inside a Chinese WalMart, I suspect it's bogus. But funny. I like funny. (But I don't want to see eyeballs in my pickle jar.)










So there ya have it. What's the strangest thing you ever saw in a Superstore? In America, the strangest thing in the store may not be the merchandise; it may be the shoppers. Let's just say... they have a...  fantastic sense of fashion. Don't believe me? Check out this People of Walmart video. (There's plenty more of 'em on Youtube, too.)



Since the topic today is picking on  about Walmart, I might as well throw this out there, too. Didja hear that WalMart is thinking about selling wine under its own label? Their marketing department thinks a cheap-ass huge potential market for cheap-ass  inexpensive wine exists. Who knows? Could be they're right. After all, who doesn't love Two Buck Chuck? So whattaya think Wally World should call their wines? How about these creative suggestions:

  •  Chateau Traileur Parc
  • White Trashfindel
  • Big Red Gulp
  • World Championship WRiesling
  • NASCARbernet
  • Chef Boyardeaux
  • Peanut Noir
  • I Can't Believe it's not Vinegar 
  • Grape Expectations
  • Nasti Spumante

The beauty of Wal-Mart wine is it will make ya sick go equally well with white meat (possum) or red (squirrel). (No need to tell me this scintillating information I received from a friend is yet another hoax. I know perfectly well squirrel meat isn't red.)

Next Monday, the lovely and talented Dianne Salerni will be interviewing me on her blog. It seems she has a few questions about Hot Flashes and Cold Lemonade. How about that? She's a fantastic writer, and it'll be a genuine honor to visit with her. Tell ya what. Why don't y'all stop in and say howdy, okay? Heck, I'll even bake a chocolate rum cake.

Not enough blatant self-promotion for ya? How's this? Yesterday, my old hometown newspaper in Maryland ran an article about ... moi and my book. Life is good. Oh yeah, life is definitely good.

                                    Until next time, take care of yourselves. And each other.

90 comments:

  1. The Health Department would obviously have a field day in a Chinese Walmart - but I doubt if a Chinese Health Department exists.

    Gimme 60 pounds of crocs, a dozen pickled frogs, and some of those pig faces. And some powdered horse milk to wash it down with. Or diet water, if you're watching your weight.

    The weirdest Walmarts I've ever seen in my life are in San Angelo and Odessa (Texas). Bizarre beyond belief. I used to write hilarious stories about them on my blog (long ago).

    I remember long-ago when Walmart used to brag about all their products being made in the U.S.A.
    Times have sure changed.......

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Yeah, I don't think China "wastes" a lot of money safeguarding the quality of their food.

      Maybe you should resurrect some of your old posts for all your new followers who missed 'em the first time around. Hilarious is good!

      Times sure have changed, and some of those changes were brought about by stores cutting corners by buying cheap goods offshore.

      Delete
  2. WEll, I got lots to say about all of this but it's midnight and I"m reeeal sleepy ... be glad ... very glad... HAhaaa

    I want to read the newspaper article and vist the blog you mentioned... hope I don't forget tomorrow. forget tomorrow? haaa well? skipping a day would be something.

    cool post! eyes in my pickles? oh, lord

    ReplyDelete
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    1. I know whatcha mean. The closer it gets to midnight, the shorter my comments become, too.

      Delete
  3. A wine to lie down and avoid.
    Thank you for the people of Walmart video. It is a very, very long time since I have felt svelte and tastefully dressed.
    And congratulations on the publicity for Hot Flashes.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What? You're not even tempted by the "Grape Expectations" one? It has such a literary ring to it. Then again, drinking it would probably incur the wrath of grapes.

      Those WalMart videos are always something else. Kinda makes ya wonder if those people are for real.

      Thanks! Kinda nice to get a pat on the head from the ol' hometown.

      Delete
  4. I have been WalMart twice, we were told to go there for a specific item for daughter's class and both times it made me sick. Gagging, coughing and I couldn't breath. I think it is the bug spray they spray on the cheap clothes from China. This was over ten years ago and haven't be in one since. Plus I don't like their policies.
    I love pickles but I think I will pass on those.
    My vote is for "I Can't Believe it's not Vinegar"

    Congratulations on article and the interview ! woohoooo !

    cheers, parsnip

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    1. I must confess to occasionally going to WalMart. It will never be my favorite place to shop, but there are a couple things they still stock that I haven't been able to find elsewhere.

      "I Can't Believe It's Not Vinegar" is a great name for cheapo wine, isn't it?

      Thanks. I've been doing quite a bit of woohooing around here... on the inside, that is. All that actual bouncing around takes way too much energy.

      Cheers back atcha!

      Delete
  5. Dang I am glad that post is over. And I don't usually say that about stuff you write, but being as I have a queasy stomach these days I was grossing out over some of the stuff in the Chinese WalMart. ick. Nicely done, but really? Bull penises? Raw meat just stacked in aisle 3? Oh lordy.

    I did get a good laugh at the NASCARbernet tho'. hee

    And squirrel is definitely white meat [well, think the dark meat of a chicken] and thems good eatin'. If you can past the obvious body parts of a squirrel on your plate. ::wink::

    ReplyDelete
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    1. HA! Sorry 'bout that. That wouldn't be my choice of place to shop for dinner fixings, either. Might be an interesting place to wander around with a camera, though.

      I've never eaten squirrel, but my hubby has. But I love rabbit, and suspect they have a similar taste. 12:34

      Delete
  6. Sanitized underpants? Pig faces? Reptile parts? Yum, yum!

    ...and thanks to this post I have angered one of my family members because I was laughing too hard to listen.

    Have a great weekend!

    Diana at About Myself By Myself

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    1. HA! Always happy to make ya laugh, but I guess the timing was a little off this time, huh? Hopefully, angry family member is over it now.

      You have a super weekend, too.

      Delete
  7. I do not like Walmart's business practices, and only have been in their stores a few times. These megastores are too large for me as I want to get in, get my stuff, and get out. I just recently saw an ad promoting their "fresh" healthy produce; I wonder how they advertise their pig faces in China.

    We cannot get Two Buck Chuck in Pa, but we can go to Jersey and get Three Buck Chuck. It sounds so much more sophisticated, doesn't it?

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    1. Lately, there have been a number of ads on TV touting WalMart's fresh produce and yummy steaks. Supposedly, they HAVE been buying produce from local growers, which is a good thing... but so have other grocers in our area.

      Yeah, it would be interesting to see what advertisements in China look like, in general. I may have to see if I can find any...

      Actually "Two Buck Chuck" costs three bucks here, too. (But THAT doesn't rhyme!) I THINK it still costs two dollars in California.

      Delete
  8. All I can say is Yikes! That's definitely one Walmart I don't ever want to shop in.

    Have a great Friday!

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Shop? Um, no! But it WOULD be fun to look around... especially with a camera in hand.

      You have a super Friday, too. Heck, I'm feeling generous today... so let's hope the "super" lasts all weekend!

      Delete
  9. Like I wrote once in my blog, I use to shop Walmart very late at night to avoid the crowds. That is until I encountered a guy talking basketball with the cantaloupes and who got terribly upset with me when I took their side in the conversation.

    Proving real life is stranger that fiction could ever hope to be that, sadly, is a very true story.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. From some of the stories and pictures I've seen, a trip to WalMart at 3 AM is like a trip to a whole 'nother planet. (If ya ever do it again, take a camera!)

      Delete
  10. Peanut Noir made me laugh the hardest. Thanks for that :)

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  11. The anti-bacterial undies are my favorite. I can't even guess where you found these pics but I'm so glad you did. What a trip!

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Aren't those undies a hoot?

      Someone sent me a bunch of these pics in an email, which prompted me to do a Google search on them to ascertain the source. I never found the photographer's name, but did find the pics on a BUNCH of websites, so figured they were fair game.

      Delete
  12. Now, that really highlights some cultural differences, doesn't it? Who know there was a market for pig faces anywhere?

    Looking forward to seeing you over at Dianne's blog! :)

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    1. I didn't know about the (gag!) pig faces, but our local Chinese buffets offer pig ears. My more-adventurous-than-I hubby said they tasted good. I'll take his word for it.

      Thanks! Happy weekend!

      Delete
    2. Our local supermarkets sell pig ears, but they're in the dog food section and my daughter's dog loves them. They're right next to the rawhide bones and other chewy doggy treats.

      Delete
    3. Just between you and me, pig ears sound more fitting as dog food. The way the restaurant serves them, they're a little chewy, but not rawhide-chewy. Thin-sliced in a vinegary juice.

      Delete
  13. Very interesting stuff, nice post!

    I like •I Can't Believe it's not Vinegar the best!

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Thanks. Different, anyway.

      Yeah, that's a pretty cool name.

      Delete
  14. Just one more reason to be glad we live anywhere else.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Hilarious!!! It also makes me realize just how American I am. Even though I grew up raising cows for meat, I'm still a wimp when it comes to seeing actual animal parts for sale - I can buy it packaged and processed, but out there in the open with no hiding where it came from? That's where I become a wimp.

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    1. A lot of people don't want to eat food that "looks like what it is." We have a friend in CT whose idea of "eating good seafood" is having those pre-breaded little generic squares of fish.

      Delete
  16. I think it would be great to go to a Chinese Walmart: bargains!

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    1. Yeah, that might be fun, but alas, I have no "yuan" to go there with.

      Delete
  17. LOL some of that stuff is so nasty to me
    I'd never want it in a walmart at my sea
    Would never go there again
    at my den
    At least ours aren't scary up here
    With people showing tattoos and butt cracks from the rear

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Oh, the things you can see and do
      If at three AM you leave your zoo,
      Then get thee to a WalMart store...
      You'll want to go there nevermore!
      Things may seem normal during the day,
      But things get scarier, I've gotta say,
      And in the middle of the night,
      The things you'll see instill great fright.

      Delete
  18. I only buy from Walmart when they have some kind of CD exclusive that I have to have.

    Because everything is made in China, and since I object to China's exploitation of their work force, I am willing to spend more.

    I'd spend even more to buy "made in America" but that phrase is almost extinct.

    Larry

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    1. Gotcha. I'm willing to spend more elsewhere, too, especially for products made in the U.S. I recently bought a new flag, and was delighted to find them in Lowe's... all made in the good ol' US of A. Yes, they cost more, but the idea of buying an American flag made in China was unpalatable, at any cost.

      Delete
  19. My tummy would be sick after walking through that store!

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  20. That's the interesting part of walking around in stores in other countries: the culture shock! We're just not used to these things. To the Chinese shoppers, these things are normal. I'm sure some of the things we are used to here are weird to them. There's certainly no place like home...

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    1. Absolutely! When our younger son was on TDY in Thailand, he ate what can only be defined as some verrrry strange things by our standards. To the locals, it was everyday food.

      Delete
  21. I felt sorry for the frogs and I was shocked by the Ipecac in the water. Ipecac es used for patients who are intoxicated.
    Congratulations on the article, Susan! I will include your novel in my list of books to be read.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. No, no, no... no ipecac in the water! (At least, none that I know about...) That was just my sorry attempt at humor.

      Thanks! It felt kinda cool to make front page in my old hometown. And thank you again. I hope you enjoy it.

      Delete
  22. I avoid Wal-Mart. It doesn't need to have the same products as a Chinese Wal-Mart for me to be afraid.

    Love,
    Janie

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    1. That's 'cause you're such a smart lady. (With impeccable taste in books, I might add... HA!)

      Delete
  23. I'm a little overwhelmed at the moment. I think you can appreciate why. Wow. Just WOW. I shouldn't have clicked on the video...

    *walksawaystunned*

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  24. Before my dad retired, his job took him all over the world. His one rule about eating was, "Eat what's in front of you and NEVER ask what it is because you're going to have to eat it anyway or risk insulting your host. Besides, it's so much easier to eat sheep eyes when you think they're just really big grapes."

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    1. That's a good policy, because sometimes ignorance IS bliss. When my hubby was in Vietnam, and later, when one of our sons was on TDY in Thailand, each of them was presented with some disgusting (by our standards) food to eat, and in both cases, it was meant to show gratitude, and considered an honor. Our son accepted, and ate it. My hubby, the sly fox, took the special bowl of soup to the village chief, bowed, and insisted that the honor should be HIS. The chief was delighted at the show of respect, not to mention the monkey brains or chicken head, whatever weird thing was in that bowl, (I forget) and my husband, needless to say, was delighted to escape the chore of eating it.

      Delete
  25. The "The People of Walmart" website is hilarious...whenever I want to feel highbrow and classy, all I have to do is look there.

    Some of the pictures have to be photoshopped...they just have to be. Please let them be photoshopped!

    On the Chinese Walmarts...well, I guess it's just what you are used to. McDonald's in Germany serves beer, which is something that always surprises Americans.

    Congratulations on making the front page of your hometown newspaper! That's quite an honor and accomplishment. Re: your comment about "before you got planted in the cemetery"... LOL!

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    1. I'm with you; surely some of those picture are photo-shopped. (But the videos sure LOOK real!) I hope somebody throws a loony toon net over me if I ever leave the house looking like that... or, um, stay in the HOUSE looking like that.

      Thanks! I've been featured on the front page of the B section of other papers before, and even in the "Congressional Quarterly", but NEVER the FRONT front page of any newspaper before! Woo HOO! (Shhh, don't tell anyone the ol' hometown paper only has ONE section... HA!)

      Delete
  26. That peek inside of China's Walmart was truly horrifying. I honestly cannot believe that people choose their meat that way. That has to be one of the most unsanitary things I have ever seen.

    Changing the subject, I am glad that you are getting some attention for your book. Newspaper articles are always great publicity and having fellow bloggers interview you... well done!!!

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Yeah, kinda disgusting, huh? But from what I understand, some Asian countries have outdoor markets where vendors hang meats and various carcasses around their booths for people to purchase. Just a whole 'nother culture.

      Thanks! Feedback has been so fabulous, I'm convinced I made the right choice in moving forward with publication.

      Delete
  27. Excellent post as always - too funny and a bit gross as well! Loved the article in Dundalk Eagle! Congrats :)

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    1. Yep, that's me! Funny, and a teensy bit gross...

      Thanks. I think the reporter did a super job with it.

      Delete
  28. I laughed at the anti-bacterial undies. I can think of several men in the US who need pairs of those. We should import them.

    Have a great weekend, Susan.
    xoRobyn

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    1. Yeah, me too. Then there's the anti-bacterial spray, too. It's called Umpire. Ya know, for foul balls. (Sorry! The devil made me do it.)

      You have a super weekend, too.

      Delete
  29. Congrats on the media attention. Special attention to a special gal. They got good taste.
    I get so sick of fat. That is all I saw at Costco my last trip. I know for sure that a ot of people absolutely can't lose weight at what they are doing, eating or dieting on and it becomes frustrating. I look in their carts and all I see is the processed packages of dead food. The walmart food in China may look weird to Americans but aren't the Chinese thinner, trimmer and more healthy.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Thanks! Sweet of you to say.

      I know what you mean. I used to be super-skinny, so there's more meat on my bones now than what there used to be, but nobody puts on 500 pounds overnight. You'd think that when they reach, oh I dunno... plus 499 maybe, they'd consider doing something about it. You're right; we may make fun of the Asian diet, but they do seem to maintain a healthier weight.

      Delete
  30. Antibacterial undies are immediately suspect. Model on the package(oh, how could you!) is scratching himself front and back. Perhaps a new line treated with insecticide would outsell it. Delightful post, Susan. I needed it!

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    1. HA! Only you would come up with the scratching bit. Way to go, dude.

      Delete
  31. A chocolate rum cake? will it have rum soaked raisins and a ganache frosting? Hmmm?

    Re Walmart - antibacterial undies, packaged, yet foodstuffs are raw and unpackaged in bulk bins to be handled by just anybody who may or may not have washed their hands and for heaven's sake let's hope nobody has sneezed in there....
    Their food hygiene standards are the reason i avoid buying foods from China, even packaged foods. I'll pay the extra to have Australian thanks very much. I'm looking at ways to grow my own veg again next spring and summer. Beans and tomatoes, capsicum and zucchini, lettuce and carrots, all in pots. My rhubarb is already sprouting new baby leaves.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Nope, but it'll have a light fluffy rum chocolate frosting...

      Our gardens didn't do very well the past few years because of high heat and no rain, but this year, we've gotten a LOT of rain and more reasonable temperatures, so we've got a TON of tomatoes coming in. (And our friends and neighbors are very glad...)

      Delete
  32. P.S. meat water is a whole new level of wrong.
    Congratulations on the interview. I'll watch that youtube now....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, some things just don't go together very well, huh?

      Thanks.

      Delete
  33. 'Not the kind of Crocs we're accustomed to seeing at the store, is it?'

    HA!

    Okay, just read the first sentence of the article and felt an instant connection. My mom has always called me a late bloomer.

    'Though the story of Pearl and her life in Dundalk had been living in Swiderski for many years, it took decades to bring to the page.'

    I love this. I so respect this.

    'Now that she has released her first book, Swiderski is already hard at work on her next novel, which is also set in Maryland.'

    It's funny how taking the reins like that can impact your overall productivity, huh? HATS OFF to you, my dear friend.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Suze, all the way around. Nothing wrong with being a late-bloomer. I figure the longer we have to wait for a bloom, the more we appreciate it.

      I dunno if it's impacted productivity as much as it's taken off the pressure. Now that Pearl is out there, I can relax and enjoy the next project. Que sera sera.

      Delete
  34. Their WalMart has quite a few variances from the items we've got in ours. Hopefully they dress better than we do, that'll iron out that differences a little bit, yes? :)

    ReplyDelete
  35. Attention shoppers! This comment will be closing in two minutes..

    After reading your savoury posting, Susan, I have this incredible urge to go shop at a WalMart in China.

    We sort of have WalMart in Britain. They bought out a supermarket named ASDA. And now the employees can be trained in how to get used to crap wages, long hours and non-existent customer service.

    A good remainder of your weekend.

    Gary is going, going gone. This comment has closed!

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    Replies
    1. How about that? I'd heard of ASDA before, and it sounded similar to WalMart, but I didn't realize WalMart owned it. Gee, maybe if you're lucky, the store will stock some of those savory (I mean "savoury") goodies in Britain to save you the trip to China. Like me, you probably have no "yuan" to go with, anyway.

      A wonderful rest of the weekend to you, too.

      Delete
  36. Susan, Susan, Susan. Where do I even begin except to say:
    Hells Bells. I've seen it all now.
    I do believe I've been rendered speechless.

    ~Just

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    1. Jill, Jill, Jill. I don't think we've even come close to seeing it all, but if you're anything at all like me, I have a feeling it's quite an accomplishment to make you speechless. HA!

      Delete
  37. I'm so glad I'd already had dinner and that the meal had time to settle before I read this. "I Can't Believe it's Not Vinegar," made me laugh out loud. It's got my vote!

    VR Barkowski

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    1. Pretty cool, huh? Made ya sick and made ya laugh in one fell swoop. Good to hear from you again.

      Delete
  38. Lol! What else is new now?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No telling! I guess you'll just have to come back and find out...

      Delete
  39. Hi Susan .. gosh 'next Monday' has come around! Help!!

    Great pictures .. and some interesting thoughts spring to mind along the same lines ...

    The world - the human part of it - is one 'funny' part! Poor critters as Lenny would say ..

    Cheers Hilary

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  40. Hi-ya. Boy, you commented on three posts this time around... a genuine triple play!!!

    Cheers, milady!

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    Replies
    1. Did too .. where's the next one??!! Enjoy the weekend wherever your travels take you .. pizzaing, museuming, bonsaiing .. or just sauntering around .. happy days ..
      Hilary

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    2. You're a force to be reckoned with, milady! (Must be that magical hat...)

      Delete
  41. Not many posts can run the gambit from gross to hysterical to terrifying (the video clip). Kudos.

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  42. Ah, wow. The video clip. The photos of the Chinese Wal-Mart. Ugh! I think I'll skip going to China! Those sausages reminded me of the Chicago butcher/funeral director (yes, he was both) whose mistress called off their affair until "he had dealt with his wife."

    The next day, she received a huge crate filled with reams of linked sausages with the note: "I have dealt with my wife."

    She went into hysterics, never quite recovering. The butcher was arrested, and the trial was sensational to say the least!

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    1. YIPES! Reminds me of an awful movie we watched in the '70s or so about a demented couple that planted people in their garden. Just up to their necks, mind you, so they could keep them well fed before turning them into sausage. I don't remember the name of the flick, but trust me, it didn't win any academy awards.

      Delete
  43. The above incident took place in the Chicago of the 1890's by the way. :-)

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    Replies
    1. Knowing that it's true makes the story considerably more macabre.

      Delete