Monday, December 2, 2013

Hunting for Something to Write About

Thought for the day:  The word 'vegetarian' comes from the ancient Indian word for 'lousy hunter'.


Surprise! I don't usually post on Mondays, but what the heck. The Dream Destination blog hop will be kicking off on Thursday, so just for this week, we'll go with Monday and Thursday instead of Tuesday and Friday. (I'm such a rebel.)

But what to write, what to write...

Since deer hunting season is well under way, how about a little something about hunting? Anybody in your family into that? Smarticus used to go every year, but it's been a long time since he's had the urge to crawl out of a nice warm bed to traipse around in the woods or to sit up in a tree stand freezing his arse off at the butt crack of dawn. And that's just fine and dandy with me.

Not everyone is a natural hunter...
Granted, hunting isn't for everyone. Our younger son used to go, too, but for him, it was more about the camping, male bounding, and communing with nature. It all but required dynamite to blast him out of the bed at home, but he could hardly wait to hit the woods at dark-thirty in the morning... but I don't think he ever pointed his gun at a single animal.




Critters are pretty darned smart. As best as I can remember, Smarticus only went dove hunting once. He and a neighbor went on opening day of dove season. They spent allllll day long walking and looking, but didn't see hide nor feather of a single dove until they pulled into our driveway. Then they saw about fifty smirking doves safely sitting on the telephone lines between our houses ... thumbing their beaks at them.





Yes sirree, animals are plenty smart, but not quite as smart as some people think. Like the gal who thought somebody should move the deer crossing sign at the side of the road to a different location. She figured there was so much traffic on that part of the highway, the deer would be much safer if they were directed to cross at another spot.
You can hardly blame this ol' geezer for doing his hunting in the grocery store. (That's where I catch my fish these days, too.) After all, roughing it in the woods isn't nearly as much fun once the aches and pains take up residence, and I suspect the thrill of taking a whizz in the woods is inversely proportional to the number of times per cold night it's necessary to get out of a nice warm sleeping bag to do so.





But now this... THIS... just might work.







I enjoy target-shooting, but when it comes to shooting at an animal, I suspect I'd be about as useless as Bill Engvall's wife. She wanted to share more activities with her husband... but I don't think hunting was what she had in mind. Kinda reminds me of the joke: I just got a new rifle for my wife. It was the best trade I ever made...



So how about you? Been hunting for Christmas gifts at the mall? (I tell ya, some of those shoppers are real animals, aren't  they...?)

                                     Until next time, take care of yourselves. And each other.


98 comments:

  1. No one has ever invited me to go hunting. I talk too much. I should be paid to stalk the perimeter, yapping.

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    1. HA! Nobody's ever invited me, either, and probably for the same reason. Besides, I would've gotten in the way of all that male bonding, spitting, and peeing in the woods stuff.

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  2. I'm definitely NOT a hunter....I'm a lover, not a killer! :)
    P.S. I think Bill Engvall is hilarious!

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    1. Yeah, me too. (But I'm also a lover of venison...)

      I think all those Blue Collar dudes are hilarious.

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  3. Nope, not a hunter here either. And I don't like loud noises and would shriek (or squeak) every time a gun went off.
    Love that newspaper clipping. Romance is not dead... Or do I mean fantasy?

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    1. PS: LOVE that header photo with an avenue of glory. Thank you.

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    2. That newspaper clipping cracked me up, too. I like to thing that romance and fantasy are both still alive and kicking.

      Thanks... but I'm fixing to change the header to something a little more Decem-brrr-y..

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  4. Hi Susan .. I've been on a pheasant shoot - can't say I enjoy pottering in the fields just observing and being told what to do at times ... now the hot tub would be a great idea! Love the cartoons - especially the old guy (he is older than me isn't he?!) shooting the frozen turkeys - hope he got a good one, and then the newspaper paragraph .. 'no animals harmed here' - I'm sure many fall into that category..

    Cheers - gave me a cheerful start to the day/week .. Hilary

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    1. How interesting that you've been on a pheasant shoot, but I don't think it'd blend well with hunting from the comfort of a hot tub. Ah, well. Could just sit back and enjoy, and let someone else do the actual "hunting" part.

      And of COURSE that guy is older. Much older...

      Cheers!

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  5. Down here in South Carolina from my experience, hunting is getting expensive. There are fees, supplies, but the killer is membership in some hunt club, which can be huge. Because of that I guess I'll stick to the frozen food section of Publix for my family's meat supply.

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    1. Gee, I figured South Carolina would be like Georgia, where hunting is so prevalent, proud papas give their sons hunting rifles for their second birthdays. (Okay, so that's a slight exaggeration.) My hubby belonged to a very small club, in that he and his pals pooled money to rent a large tract of land every year. Wasn't expensive at all. But that WAS quite a few years ago...

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  6. Haha, no hunting for me. I will just stay with the store. I don't like camping, so I am sure hunting would be low on the list for me too.. :)

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    1. Gotcha! You sound like a friend of mine, whose idea of "roughing it" is staying at the Holiday Inn, or having to watch a black and white TV.

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  7. I'd never be able to shoot an animal, although I know I'm a hypocrite because I'm not a vegetarian, but I love target shooting! I just learned a few years ago and didn't really expect to like it, but I got totally into it. :D
    Love the fox in the middle of the hounds LOL.
    Thanks for mentioning our Blog Hop!!

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    1. Nah, you're not a hypocrite. There's a lot of difference between shooting at a target and shooting at a living animal.

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  8. No hunting for me
    Freezing my ass off in a tree
    No way hosa
    I'll stay warm in bed at my bay

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    1. So sitting up in a tree
      Isn't where you'd choose to be?
      No problem, go to the store instead
      When you roll out of your cozy bed.

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    2. Works for me
      And you posted by mistake, oopsy lol

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    3. HA! You musta just so happened to be here when I did a quick on-off publish of my next post just to check an HTML code I was trying to embed. (Didn't work.)

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  9. Nope, I am not a hunter. I don't even like shopping very much, but I am going to have to think about doing some soon.
    I love the picture of the fox in the pack of hounds.

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    1. To tell the truth, I'd rather hang out in the woods than trudge around in a shopping mall.

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  10. The time to begin Christmas shopping is indeed early. I start thinking about it on the 23rd of December.

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    1. The 23rd of December isn't so bad. Before we were married, my hubby and I stopped at a store so he could do his Christmas shopping... on our way to Christmas Eve midnight mass. (Marriage cured him of that habit.)

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    2. 24th, if the shops are still open!

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  11. >>... Like the gal who thought somebody should move the deer crossing sign at the side of the road to a different location. She figured there was so much traffic on that part of the highway, the deer would be much safer if they were directed to cross at another spot.

    Got Hair Color?

    ~ D-FensDogg
    'Loyal American Underground'

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    1. Yeah, she was brunette. Okay, okay, okay, so it was dyed. (Think that was an attempt at "artificial intelligence"?)

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  12. Never been hunting. Too much of a weenie. LOL

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    1. Nah, you're not a weenie. It takes a lot of guts to write books.

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  13. I think you found something to write about.
    Love the fox with the dogs going hunting.

    The Square Ones send woofs !
    cheers, parsnip

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    1. HA! We can ALWAYS find "something" to write about, can't we?

      Chicken treats and a scratch behind the ears for those lovable Square Ones. Cheers!

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  14. I love to target shoot, but I have never been hunting. I hope the day never arrives that I have to do it. I am afraid that I would be too much like Bill's wife at the end of that video. "Run, deer, run!"

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    1. Yeah, you and me both. Shooting at targets is much more fun.

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  15. Am not a hunter - and don't understand the drive to kill something for sport. So count me out, all those gathering with dogs or guns.

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    1. I loathe the idea of killing anything for "sport", but do understand and support hunting as a means of putting meat in the freezer and on the table.

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  16. I LOVE Bill Engvall, especially his "Here's Your Sign routines!!

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  17. Awww. That is the cutest bulldog puppy ever. So sweet!

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  18. not into guns or hunting stuff, but Ray is big time. Anybody want a freezer full of venison sausage. I don't care for it, but we have a lifetime supply. Shame the food bank can't accept it. I do think at times the term "hunting" is used loosely. Going hunting seems to mean sitting around a campfire and drinking. No guns involved. I'm fine when he doesn't have success.

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    1. A freezer full of venison sausage? YUM! This is gonna sound weird, but venison sausage on a biscuit... with a dollop of grape jelly on it (told ya it'd sound weird) is reeeeeeally good.

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  19. I've never hunted but I have a nephew who does and I have a niece who hunts along with her husband and two teenage daughters!!!!
    They use what they kill ... they have meat for the winter well into spring!
    Happy week!
    diane @ aug's blog

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    1. Wow, even the teenage daughters! Sounds like they're gonna keep on having a freezer full of fresh meat for a long while to come.

      Happy week to you, too!

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  20. Not a hunter … I prefer hunting with a camera … don't know how anyone could kill unless you're real hungry. I have that fox in the middle of the dogs picture… the caption read… when in deep shit… keep looking forward…

    Did you see Bill Engvall on Dancing With the Stars? he did great!

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    1. I'm glad you hunt with a camera, because you share some of your "dear" pictures on your blog.

      No, I missed that! We're two of the few people in the country who don't watch that show. (Wow, funny, AND he can dance?)

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    2. Welluh ... he has a strong fan base... he is very loveable. I never really watched him much so didn't know who he was at first ... but he came in fourth! great fun.... he couldn't dance a lick when he began and that's what this show fun...

      http://youtu.be/APgLn3EO6s8

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  21. The guy in the hot tub with the beer and the rifle must be from Texas.....
    I'm a pacifist and a wimp. I'm not into any form of hunting.......but I'll eat a BBQed side of beef without flinching.

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    1. That guy in the hot tub with the beer and rifle could have been from a lot of states...yep, including Texas. No need for you to hunt; you've got a whole herd of four-legged hunters in your yard.

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  22. I'm definitely not a hunter, but I do live in an area where there is hunting. My dad has let a couple of people shoot on our land, and they managed to get a couple deer.

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    1. Well, that's nice of your dad. I hope some of the hunters share a bit of meat with him.

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  23. I don't hunt or fish and don't get hunting for sport, although I certainly understand the food chain and am an irredeemable meat eater. I'm sure this is why I can't stand to have my food looking back at me whether fish, fowl, or four-legged beastie.

    I don't do malls, especially during the holidays. I worked retail far too long. I know all about the Black Friday bait and switches. I will not play into their money grubbing hands. That's what online retail is for. ;)

    VR Barkowski

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    1. Yeah, I know whatcha mean. We've got some friends who won't eat anything that looks like it did when it was alive. One fella will only eat fish if it's a breaded square.

      I'm not much of a shopper, but I'm starting to see the upside of online shopping.

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  24. UR BLOG IS SOO CUTE! would you like to follow each other?
    following you now xxo

    http://iamaleena.blogspot.com.au/

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    1. THANKS! Welcome aboard, kiddo. Get ready... here I come to visit your blog. (Hurry up! Put the kettle on!)

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  25. I would have to be pretty darn hungry and out of options before I could shoot an animal.

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    1. Yeah, It's a lot easier to pick meat up at the grocery store, sitting on a slab of styrofoam and covered in plastic wrap.

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  26. Great post, Susan! Just about every hunter I've ever known has experienced an "oh my" moment, noticing the beauty of the animal in their scopes, then lowering their pieces and going back to camp --never to hunt again. Usually happens in late middle-age. I think there's always some progress that begins and ends in a place that is not conscious. As usual, I became a gardener.

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    1. Hmmm, you could be onto something, dude. You smartie.

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  27. When the deer eat their way through the vegetable garden I get a bit of a 'we/they' thing going on. Last week there was a protest parade down the main street of Oak Bay - people upset that there is a plan to cull the deer population that is coming into town. So far this year, 34 deer have been killed by cars in this very small town. Somehow a rifle seems just a little bit more humane.

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    1. People who live in locations teeming with far too many deer for the area to support have a different impression of the humane side of "culling the herd" than those who merely pass by and marvel at the beauty of one or two grazing in a field. Not only do more deer get killed by automobiles in overpopulated areas, but many of the deer die of starvation, simply because there isn't enough food to feed them all.

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  28. I love your explanation of the word 'Vegetarian'. Now I know!

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    1. See? No telling WHAT you might learn chez moi!

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  29. I have personally never been able to hunt...it's just impossible for me to kill an animal. I'm not criticizing hunters but it's just something that I can't do :)

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    1. I'm not at all surprised. That's part of your charm.

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  30. love those fox pictures! That would never happen if cats were taken to hunt instead of dogs. That being said I despise hunters and hunts and any kind of torture of animals

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    1. I'm glad you liked the fox pictures, and you're right about cats. Our two are very tenacious hunters... of course, since they're strictly indoor cats, the only opportunity they get to show off their hunting skills is with an occasional bug.

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  31. I am a semi-vegetarian, meaning I don't eat any food that is cute and has big eyes. That excludes everything except fish and featherless chickens. There are some cabbages that I won't tear apart also.

    I can't imagine wanting to kill anything but it is part of nature to survive and is ingrained in all species.

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    1. I guess you could say I'm a semi-vegetarian, too. I love most fruits and veggies... but the other half of my diet is seafood and meat. Preferably without eyes. Can't say that I've ever had a problem ripping cabbages apart, though.

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  32. Happy Monday! Hope your Thanksgiving was fabulous!!!

    I don't hunt. Nothing against it -- my Dad died when I was young and so I just grew up in a house where no-one hunted. I love venison so no issues eating what others hunt. It just seems like an awful lot of work -- getting up so damn early, sitting in the cold, shooting a deer that you then gotta track into some swamp, dragging it out, field-dressing it, dragging it again to the car, strapping it to the hood and having its hooves scratch the paint, and then paying someone to butcher it for me. It's like having to plant and tend a whole damn garden just to get a carrot.

    I'd much rather sleep in, take a nice afternoon hike, and then just stop at the butcher on the way home and buy some venison.

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    1. HA! Good point! It IS a lot of work, and if you factor in all the costs involved, the per pound price of venison is verrrrry high, too. If our local butcher sold venison, I'd buy some. No such luck on that here.

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  33. My dad is a big hunter. He could spend all day in the woods, watching for deer, squirrels and other varmints. That's a funny newspaper article about frozen turkeys. Where the heck do they think the frozen ones came from? ;0)

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    1. The frozen ones are tossed out of a helicopter by Les Nessman, WKRP in Cincinnatti. (Or are you too young to remember that?)

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  34. can't really understand why people like to go hunting ... killing out of joy

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    1. Well, they don't actually kill "out of joy". Most hunt to put meat in their freezers. Some hunt to help thin the herds in overpopulated areas.

      Thanks for stopping by, Tamina. Nice to meet you.

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  35. Hey Susan,

    Have you missed me? Yes? No? Who is this commenter? Anyway, I don't hunt. Okay, I hunt for compliments. Or is that fish for compliments. You never know, there might be a compliment lurking in the bushes, or hiding behind that coral reef.

    Yes, I obviously need some sleep. I can tell you that my lovely son once decided it would be a really good idea to bring home a ferret. Not such a good idea when a certain Jack Russell dog suddenly remembered the hunting history of Jack Russell dogs and chasing ferrets....

    That's it. I'm done here....

    Gary :)

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    1. Well, of COURSE I've missed you! (I've been hunting everywhere...)

      HA! I hope Penny gave them a good chase. Friends of ours had a couple ferrets. Those miserable little buggers were sharp-toothed ankle-biters. (The ferrets, not our friends.)

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  36. Hubby used to go hunting with his dad, brother, and friends of his dad every year. The older he gets, the less he goes. His dad got real sick (heart) about a year ago, he's ok now but he didn't go hunting this year. First time he's missed in 50 years, or so they say. :) I'm not a good companion for hunting, I can't stand to see anything hurt or killed and would probably tell Bambi to run.

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    1. I think with a lot of guys, the older they get, the less they go hunting. Like my hubby said, once all the kids were out of the house, he didn't have any reason to escape to the woods to find peace and quiet. Other men keep at it, year after year, until they can't hack it any more. If your father-in-law has enjoyed it for so many years, I hope he feels up to hitting the woods again next year.

      (Me, too!)

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  37. For not knowing what to write, you sure did a bang-up job. (pun intended)
    Your jokes were hilarious. I'm still laughing. Hunting is a way of life in Montana. Everyone wants their elk. So be it!!!

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    1. Very punny, Manzie. Oh yeah, that's right... you live in a paradise state for hunters. And a paradise state for non-hunters, too. (At least, that's how I imagine it.)

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  38. I always look forward to your anecdotes about "Smarticus!" Did you see your friend Bill on Dancing With The Stars? That man sure is popular.

    Julie

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    1. I'm glad to hear it; maybe I'll have to talk about Smarticus more often.

      No, we don't watch that show. (I know! Shocking, isn't it?) But I hear he did very well.

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  39. I love Bill Engvall. I'm going to have to find more of his stuff.
    I haven't done much Christmas shopping yet, it's all going to be gift cards this year, so there's no rush. I'll bake the mince pies the week before Christmas, then I'll be ready.

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    1. Are you familiar with the Blue Collar Comedy concerts? It's Bill Engvall, Rom White, Jeff Foxworthy, and Larry the Cable Guy. When the four of them get together and do their routines, it is hilarious.

      I've almost finished shopping, but haven't wrapped anything yet. Haven't done any baking yet, either. Gotta make cookies, if nothing else.

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  40. Cute! Nope, nary a hunter at this house, though we do love to fish. You rounded us up some cute pictures and videos, thank you for the smiles.

    Hugs,

    Kathy M.

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    1. Fishing's good. Heck, I can be happy as a pig in the mud with a fishing pole in my hands. Just lay back and be lulled by the gentle rocking of the boat... (I don't even care if there's no bait on the hook!)

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  41. Love this post

    Will you like to follow each other on GFC, FB or Twitter?
    Love
    New Post: Fashion Talks
    New Giveaway: Fashion Talks

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    1. Hi-ya, Sandy. I've seen you over on Leanna's blog before! Thanks for stopping by.

      Tell ya what, I'm so far out of it, I don't even know what GFC is. But I'd be happy to stop by your blog, and sign on there as a follower. We can do FB and Twitter, too, if you like. (I know what THEY are, but I'm not terribly active with either.)

      Delete
    2. Oops. Never mind. I'm not on Google Plus, so your blog wouldn't let me leave a comment, and I didn't see anywhere to sign on there as a follower. (But I did follow you on Twitter!)

      Delete
  42. I knew I wasn't cut out for hunting or killing for food when I was still a kid. My mother used to start Sunday dinner by hacking off the head of one of our chickens on Saturday. It was my job to hold the chicken's legs while my mother held the chicken by the beak as she chopped through the neck. Well, the poor chicken was so scared it pooped. And I was so scared of getting chicken poop on my fingers that I let go. And so this six-year old had to watch in horror as a chicken without a head ran around the yard... True story.

    Now I only hunt in grocery stores, 'cuz that's where the sandwiches roam. :-)

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    1. Oh, I know it's a true story. About the chickens running around without a head. My grandfather had a small poultry farm, and I will NEVER forget the sight of the headless chickens. He strung them up by the neck on what looked like a clothesline, and went down the line whacking off heads. I only saw him do it once, but once was more than enough.

      Later on, my father would make me hold the bucket while he drained the blood from a duck. (YUK!) He'd wring their necks and slit them, and then give the fresh blood to a Polish friend, who used it to make soup. (No kidding!)

      Yeah, I prefer the grocery store aisles, too. "Where the sandwiches roam"... good one!

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  43. I think I would be like your son, go hunting and just wander in the woods and appreciate the landscape and nature and not shoot. The woman who wanted to move the deer crossing sign sounds like a sweet person. Not sure about her reasoning, but she sounds sweet.

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    1. Yeah, me, too. He saw an owl sweep down and grab a squirrel from up close and personal, and saw other animals scampering all around him. I guess they sensed he would do them no harm.

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  44. This was a way fun post; I liked the old guy shooting his first turkey and scaring the other customers in the frozen foods section. Oh, and the photo of the fox right behind the beagle. Good ones.

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