Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber. [Plato]
I dunno. Maybe that's how so many clowns end up in office. Maybe voters just don't care.
What spurred this head-scratching line of thought is the recent re-election of a fella named Joseph D. Morrissey. This guy has such a long history of getting into fistfights, being in contempt of court, and getting thrown in jail, his nickname is Fighting Joe, and because of his habitual unethical and inappropriate behavior, he lost his license to practice law more than a decade ago. In 1992, voters had no problem electing him when he was in jail, so I guess they figured it was no big deal to do it again. Yep, he is currently serving time for contributing to the delinquency of a minor (for having sex with a seventeen-year-old employee), but courtesy of a work-release program, the scoundrel is spending his days serving in Virginia's General Assembly, and his nights cooling his heels in the slammer.
Are our choices that bad that a politician who's repeatedly lied to the public, cheated on his family, and used taxpayer money to fly off to South America to be with his mistress is later forgiven, not by his wife, who divorced him, but by the voters, who accepted his mea culpa and happily put him back in office?
Remember Gary Hart? When he was trying to capture the Democratic nomination for president, he was captured on film with a very curvaceous young lady... to whom he was not married, if ya get my drift. Know what he said? The attractive lady whom I had only recently been introduced to dropped into my lap – I chose not to dump her off. (What a gentleman!)
At least, he had the decency to drop out of the running and into obscurity. Can't say as much for plenty of other politicians, who continue to get away with improprieties out the wazoo. Somehow, I don't think Ted Kennedy was even offended by his nickname: Tyrannosaurus Sex. Massachusetts voters must not have been offended by his drunkenness and womanizing, either. They elected him to term after term, even after a pregnant young lady died in his car when he drove off a bridge in the summer of 1969. He swam to safety.
Oh well, I got that off my chest. Now let's make fun of some of our past politicians, shall we? (They make it soooooo easy.)
In the category of I don't think this is what they meant to say:
- This President is going to lead us out of this recovery. [Dan Quayle]
- A zebra does not change its spots. [Al Gore]
- It's no exaggeration to say that the undecided could go one way or another. [George Bush, Sr.]
- Rarely is the question asked "Is our children learning?" [George W Bush]
- That low down scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass - and I'm just the one to do it! [Texan Congressional candidate]
- Traditionally, most of our imports come from overseas. [Australian minister Keppel Enderby]
- Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we. [George W. Bush]
- Things are more like they are now, than they ever were before. [Dwight D Eisenhower]
- If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign! [George W Bush]
- I stand by all the misstatements that I've made. [Dan Quayle]
Ahhh, V.P. Dan Quayle. He deserves a category all to himself. (Bless his heart.)
- One word sums up probably the responsibility of any vice president, and that one word is 'to be prepared'.
- I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix.
- It's wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.
- I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn't study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people.
- We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a part of Europe.
- The global importance of the Middle East is that it keeps the Far East and the Near East from encroaching on each other.
- We're going to have the best-educated American people in the world.
- I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy - but that could change.
- We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur.
- The future will be better tomorrow.
Our two Presidents Bush said so many cockamamie things, there have been whole books written about Bushisms. This is what a couple other politicians had to say about them: He can't help it. He was born with a silver foot in his mouth. [Ann Richards, former Texas governor, about the senior Bush] If ignorance goes to forty dollars a barrel, I want drilling rights to George Bush's head. [Jim Hightower, former Texas Commissioner of Agriculture, about the younger Bush]
Oh what the heck, thanks to our colorful politicians, political cartoonists are never lacking for a topic. Talk about job security. The only thing wrong with political jokes is... they keep getting elected.
Political language is designed to make lies sound truthful and murder respectable, and to give an appearance of solidity to pure wind. [George Orwell]
A politician thinks of the next election – a statesman, of the next generation. [James Freeman Clarke]
Yep, that's what we need. More statesmen, and less politicians. We need more people on the scene like Winston Churchhill. But just wait a minute... before you Brits get all high-and-mighty because your leaders don't get involved in as many scandals as ours here in the upstart colonies, I heard your Prince Charles was recently caught getting down and dirty. Uh-huh. That's right. Way down and dirty. Heh, heh, heh.
Um, never mind. My bad. Turns out he was 250 feet underground to mark the 150th anniversary of London's sewers.
Big deal! Our leaders generate plenty of stink all by themselves.
|[source: the lovely Pixel Peeper's blog ]|
Until next time, take care of yourselves. And each other.