Friday, February 15, 2019

Down the Rabbit Hole

Thought for the dayTime's fun when you're having flies.  Kermit the Frog

TICK. TICK. TICK. TICK.           

Is it my imagination, or is that clock getting louder by the moment? And that second hand... it's moving faster, isn't it? Yes, yes, look at it! See? It's whirling like a fan! Feel the breeze?

I swear, I just sat down at my computer  a few minutes ago, and now that big fat lying clock dares to insinuate that three hours have flown past. I ask you, What nefarious plot is afoot?

Alas, and alack, it is I. I've done it to myself. (again)

I read an anonymous quote somewhere that said Writing is 2% talent, and 98% being able to resist the distraction of the Internet. Well, ain't that the truth?! At least, it is for me. (sigh) I sure didn't offer up a lick of resistance today. There are just too darned many rabbit holes calling my name.

But the thing is, I fully intended to whip out a quick blog post, (Well, as quick as I can, which ain't very...)  so I could work on my book, and now, in the snap of a finger, POOF! three hours... gone forever.

My mother used to warn me about "good intentions." She said they're the paving stones on



(Not that agreed with her, but I sure would love to hear her say it again, just one more time.)


Oh well. Since my brain is currently comprised of mush, rather than regale you with some deep philosophical post,  (HA! As if.) how about if I share some of the funny signs I've come across?





In the seventies and eighties, this sign used to be posted on the street right in front of our house. We all KNEW what it was supposed to mean, but our three kids still took a lot of ribbing over it.











Here are some other signs that cracked me up. Hope you get a kick out of them, too.

  • On a septic tank:   We're #1 in the #2 business.  
  • Over a gynecologist's office:   Dr. Jones, at your cervix.     
  • At a proctologist's door:   To expedite your visit, please back in.
  • On a plumber's truck:   We repair what your husband fixed.
  • On another plumber's truck:   Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.
  • On an electrician's truck:  Let us remove your shorts.
  • On a dry cleaner's window:   Grime doesn't pay.
  • On a maternity room door:   Push. Push. Push.
  • On a taxidermist's window:  We know our stuff.    
  • On a music shop window:   Gone Chopin. Be Bach in a minuet.
  • Outside a muffler shop:   No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.
  • In front of a funeral parlor:   Drive carefully. We'll wait.
  • At a propane filling station:   Tank heaven for little grills.  
  • In a Norwegian cocktail lounge:  Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.
  • Hotel air condition instructions, Japan:  If you want condition of warm air in your room, please control yourself.  
  • At a Hungarian zoo:  Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.
  • Men's restroom, Japan:  To stop leak, turn cock to the right.
  • Car rental brochure, Tokyo:  When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage, then tootle him with vigour.
  • At a restaurant, Nairobi: Customers who find our waitresses rude ought to see the manager.
  • At a hotel, Acapulco:  The manager has personally passed all the water served here.
  • Hotel room, Japan: Guests are requested not to smoke or do other disgusting behaviors in bed.
  • Surgical facility, Rome: Specialist in women and other diseases.                                                                                                                                   
                                                          OK, enough for now. I'll


So, how about you? Do you sometimes let that crafty Internet (or something else) get between you and your writing? Or you and your housework, or yardwork, whatever? (MUCH more forgivable!) Is procrastination your middle name? Oh, do tell, and if you've learned how to discipline your time spent online, how'd you do it? What's your big secret?

Until next time, take care of yourselves. And each other.


52 comments:

  1. Yes, temptations are everywhere, but as I don't usually have many things that need to be done at specific times, I just do what I want. Housew**k sometimes often mostly gets left and I do things that I enjoy, like reading, walking, looking out of the window, talking to friends. We only live once. Hugs, Valerie

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    1. You've got a terrific attitude, and you're absolutely right. Life's too short to worry about self-imposed deadlines and "have-to-dos." Hugs back atcha.

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  2. Re."Men's Restroom in Japan": As I age, I've learned that for those of my gender --a majority-- who naturally tend to the left, cannot stop leaks by diverting to the right. You just have to wait. Otherwise, all the signs are accurate. For me, writing as a political centrist is lately more frequently interrupted by this experiment.

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    1. HA! Yeah, I know whatcha mean. Some leaks are destined to continue until its source has emptied. :)

      Those interruptions may be necessary to keep you on an even keel. It ain't easy being a centrist in today's world.

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  3. Everything I write takes me forever. I had to write a blurb for the back of my book- eight hours. It infuriates me. I'd like to say I spend all that time sweating and toiling over every word, but I'm usually staring at walls.


    We have a picture of a nothing happened here placard outside the Stonewall Jackson house in Virginia.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Well, that makes me feel a little better. At least I know I'm in good company. :)

      Cool. The placard I showed is hanging in Frostburg, MD. (I reckon nothing happened in a lot of places...)

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  4. I am embarrassingly easily distracted. By books, birds, random thoughts and of course the internet.
    Loved the signs - thank you. And have a wonderful weekend.

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    1. Being easily distracted isn't a bad thing. It means your mind is open to possibilities, and those possibilities keep things interesting.

      You have a wonderful weekend, too.

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  5. haha those are fun ones indeed. Yeah, one can easily go down the rabbit hole with the internet. That is why sometimes it is best to unplug the modem if one wants to right, then they can't do nadda.

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    1. Being curious makes the rabbit hole oh-so hard to resist at times, but when I truly get into the writing zone, I have no problem. (Getting into the zone is sometimes another matter...)

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  6. Now I want to go back to Japan and find more of those sign.
    It doesn't help that time speeds up as you age, either.

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    1. Some of those signs are a real hoot. Their meanings don't always translate well into English.

      You'd better believe it! (A nefarious conspiracy against old farts...?)

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  7. very funny signs and heck yea, I can be easily distracted. It's amazing how much one can dawdle the day away despite good intentions. But as long as we drive slow enough, there's more time, and the funeral parlor can wait.
    Have a good weekend!

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    1. Yeah, there's something to be said for dawdling. (Must be this southern heat, eh?)

      You have a great weekend, too!

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  8. I spend lots of time on the internet. It's the way I do my reading most days. I no longer have subscriptions that come in the mail, but read bits and pieces of my favorite magazines, newspapers and even morning devotions on line. Yes time does fly. But I consider it a blessing to be able to do so. Reading is one of my favorite things to do and I do read a lot! And I intend to read more too !

    Love and Hugs,
    mostly known as 'ma'

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    1. I spend a good bit of time online, but I refuse to read my newspaper there. I get news updates from the paper electronically, and that's fine, but I've always enjoyed the tactile experience of sitting down with the newspaper and a cuppa tea.

      Love and hugs back atcha.

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  9. A local HVAC company puts up that sign ‘We repair what your husband fixed’ often. It must get him some business.

    I tend to get distracted especially when my heart and brain are not really into what the task is at hand. Hey, when the brain ain’t ready, the brain ain’t ready. I let it rest while I piddle away the time.

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    1. That sign must drum up some business for that HVAC guy, or he wouldn't use it. If he can make potential clients chuckle, they might be more inclined to bring their business there.

      Good thinking. Piddling away time is sometimes the most relaxing thing we can do. :)

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  10. OMG, the gynecologist one was hilarious!

    I've started not checking email, blogs etc first thing in the morning. It's too easy for me to get caught up in stuff. I make sure I do other things first before getting online. So far, so good. :)

    ReplyDelete
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    1. :) I'm glad it struck your funny bone.

      Before I got into the rewriting, I used to write in a notebook in the early morning before doing anything else. That worked out extremely well for me, but I won't be going back to that until I finish with the basic changes I have to make to the earlier parts of the book. But... I'll get there...

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  11. Anything willing to come betwen me and housework and cooking is welcome n this house.

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  12. Remember when time used to flow like a river? Now it seems each moment is just another drop in the bucket. When that moment occurred is completely unknown.

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    1. Such a lovely poetic way to express it. :)

      For me, time flows kinda like Niagara Falls...

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  13. Hi Susan ... if only I could think of some riposte or many of them - but no ... I have to say I'd never heard of a proctologist - now I know but will try not to need one! They are brilliant ... and yes I do see them sometimes around - but never remember where ...

    re fiddling around - easy to do ... I do spend too long trying to do things i.e. write blog posts - but have to knuckle under and get on... though I go to too many talks, shows and films etc - love these though - cheers Hilary

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    1. Hi-ya, Hilary. Wow! You never heard of a proctologist? Makes me wonder what they're called in the U.K. Bum doctors...? HA

      If you're enjoying the talks, shows, films, etc. there's no such thing as going to "too many" of them. They're keeping your brain young!

      Cheers back atcha!

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    2. Yup the brain is young ... I wonder if that what keeps the proctologist away?! Lots of talks - got to give one on Monday ... have a good weekend - cheers Hilary

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    3. Well... I've known a few people who go through life with their heads up their bums, so your proctologist-free theory might hold for THEM... but not for YOU. :) Maybe you're just healthy.

      You have a great weekend, too.

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  14. Oh my, yes! I get soooo lost on social media & YouTube. Let me add one: A urologist's vanity plate: MDUC2P.

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  15. I remember a time (long, long ago) when I vowed that I'd never become "computerized". Nowadays I can't exist without one (or two).

    A lot of valuable time can be wasted online, but our adventures online can also be inspiring and informative. I tend to avoid the social media completely - which is an INCREDIBLE waste of time - all except for blogging, which I love.

    I (unfortunately) don't have any valuable advice about using the Internet wisely - it's all a matter of preference.
    I will say that I always write longhand, never on a computer (until I'm making my final copy). I also always read REAL books, never anything online.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. I never expected to become so computerized, either, but like you, the computer has become a priceless tool. The Internet sure makes it easier to do research!

      That's how I write, too. I can think better with a pen and notebook, for some reason, but editing on a computer is great.

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  16. I'm in stitches over here, Susan! (Indeed, truth is often stranger than fiction.) On another note, I totally 'get' what you mean, wishing you might hear your mother's admonition one more time.

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    1. Good! Laughter is like exercise for the inside. (And is close to being the only exercise I get on a regular basis...)

      Yeah, there's lots of things I wish I could hear her say again.

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  17. I know what you mean about the Internet distractions. I sat down to write ... and here I am :)

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  18. My internet gets between me and EVERYTHING. Sometimes I even forget it's dinner time until my stomach growls at me.

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  19. Thanks for the laughs Susan! There was, for many years, a laundry near where I live. They had a large sign that said "Don't kill your wife. Let Mayfields do it!"
    CLICK HERE for Bazza’s never knowingly novaturient Blog ‘To Discover Ice’

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    1. HA! That's a good one. There was a dry cleaner near our college that had a sign in the window that said, "Grime doesn't pay." I LOVED that sign, but I don't know how they managed to stay in business. None of the students I knew could afford to take their clothes to a dry cleaner... :)

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  20. Am having a rough time, friend Sue … But still here … do not know why, but still here … Dunno why this year weighs so heavy on me … Anyway, love cat.

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    1. I'm sorry, cat. I wish there were something I could do to help. Hang in there... and keep writing your poetry. Hug your cat and let those heavy feelings out in words, okay?

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  21. Those are some really funny signs, thanks for sharing!

    www.ficklemillennial.blogspot.com

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  22. hahahahahahaha...
    Years ago I remember the toilets in Hawaii had signs of the items you could not flush a pineapple was one... go figure

    cheers, parsnip

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    1. Oh, that's funny. My hubby and I met in Hawaii for R&R, and I didn't see any signs about pineapples. Then again, after nine months of being separated while he was in Nam, it's a wonder I noticed the palm trees. :)

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  23. I am far too often sucked down a rabbit hole of one kind or another.

    Tank heaven for little grills...hahaha

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    1. Rabbit holes aren't all that bad. (Especially for rabbits!)

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  24. I agree with you about the Internet being a huge time burglar! But it's so much fun...and so necessary, nowadays.

    I love all the signs, but the Japanese signs with their unlucky translations always have a special place in my heart...uhm, funny bone.

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    1. Yeah, to tell the truth, my displeasure about "wasting time" on the Internet is pretty much fabricated. I happen to LOVE wasting time. HA!

      Those translations slay me, too. :)

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  25. Funny signs! Some people are so clever. As for rabbit holes, I've fallen down many of them. The internet is chock full of them!

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    1. Oh well. At least the rabbit holes we encounter on the internet aren't overgrown with gnarled briers, like the rabbit holes I used to find as a kid. :)

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