Is it my imagination, or is that clock getting louder by the moment? And that second hand... it's moving faster, isn't it? Yes, yes, look at it! See? It's whirling like a fan! Feel the breeze?
I swear, I just sat down at my computer a few minutes ago, and now that big fat lying clock dares to insinuate that three hours have flown past. I ask you, What nefarious plot is afoot?
Alas, and alack, it is I. I've done it to myself. (again)
I read an anonymous quote somewhere that said Writing is 2% talent, and 98% being able to resist the distraction of the Internet. Well, ain't that the truth?! At least, it is for me. (sigh) I sure didn't offer up a lick of resistance today. There are just too darned many rabbit holes calling my name.
But the thing is, I fully intended to whip out a quick blog post, (Well, as quick as I can, which ain't very...) so I could work on my book, and now, in the snap of a finger, POOF! three hours... gone forever.
My mother used to warn me about "good intentions." She said they're the paving stones on
(Not that agreed with her, but I sure would love to hear her say it again, just one more time.)
In the seventies and eighties, this sign used to be posted on the street right in front of our house. We all KNEW what it was supposed to mean, but our three kids still took a lot of ribbing over it.
Here are some other signs that cracked me up. Hope you get a kick out of them, too.
- On a septic tank: We're #1 in the #2 business.
- Over a gynecologist's office: Dr. Jones, at your cervix.
- At a proctologist's door: To expedite your visit, please back in.
- On a plumber's truck: We repair what your husband fixed.
- On another plumber's truck: Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.
- On an electrician's truck: Let us remove your shorts.
- On a dry cleaner's window: Grime doesn't pay.
- On a maternity room door: Push. Push. Push.
- On a taxidermist's window: We know our stuff.
- On a music shop window: Gone Chopin. Be Bach in a minuet.
- Outside a muffler shop: No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.
- In front of a funeral parlor: Drive carefully. We'll wait.
- At a propane filling station: Tank heaven for little grills.
- In a Norwegian cocktail lounge: Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.
- Hotel air condition instructions, Japan: If you want condition of warm air in your room, please control yourself.
- At a Hungarian zoo: Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.
- Men's restroom, Japan: To stop leak, turn cock to the right.
- Car rental brochure, Tokyo: When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage, then tootle him with vigour.
- At a restaurant, Nairobi: Customers who find our waitresses rude ought to see the manager.
- At a hotel, Acapulco: The manager has personally passed all the water served here.
- Hotel room, Japan: Guests are requested not to smoke or do other disgusting behaviors in bed.
- Surgical facility, Rome: Specialist in women and other diseases.
So, how about you? Do you sometimes let that crafty Internet (or something else) get between you and your writing? Or you and your housework, or yardwork, whatever? (MUCH more forgivable!) Is procrastination your middle name? Oh, do tell, and if you've learned how to discipline your time spent online, how'd you do it? What's your big secret?
Until next time, take care of yourselves. And each other.