Friday, December 13, 2019

Showing Love to a Stranger

Thought for the day:  I think it's incumbent on anybody born on the thirteenth to consider that number... lucky. 


Friggatriskaidikaphobia is a freaky cool word that means fear of Friday the 13th. Since Friday is considered by some to be an unlucky day, and thirteen is feared by some as an unlucky number, it should come as no surprise that when the two converge, superstitious fears multiply accordingly. We could say that

Unlucky Friday + Unlucky Thirteen = Unluckier Friday

Me? I'm not superstitious. Matter of fact, I think of thirteen as a lucky number. It's the day I was born, and I always think it's extra cool when my birthday falls on a Friday... like today. Yep, today is my birthday. (whoopee)  I'd like to send all kinds of good wishes to someone else who's celebrating a birthday today. Please join me in wishing  Jon a very happy birthday... and many more. [Happy birthday, cowboy!] If you've never visited his blog before, go check it out. And if you enjoy poetry, check out his books, too. Well... no, don't just check 'em out... buy 'em! His Love Letters to Ghosts is an unforgettable collection of haunting poems that resonate like an anguished cry in a darkened room. Trust me, you'll treasure them and  read them more than once. I sure have. And his collection of poems for children is absolutely delightful. I gave a copy to one of my granddaughters last year, and she loves it. Birthday wishes also go out to Geo, another one of my favorite blogger dudes, and to cat, sweet lady and poetess extraordinaire. Not sure exactly which day their birthdays fall on, but it's right about now, give or take... Guess that makes us all Sags. Some of us more than others... :) (I prefer to think of it as a loose fit...)

[Morguefile]
 So anyhow, if you folks in the southeastern part of the United States happen to see a massive glow in the sky today, fear not. It's not Armageddon, or anything. It'll just be the blaze atop my birthday cake. (You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake!) I have a feeling our local firemen are sick and tired of coming to our house every year to extinguish the bonfire... which wouldn't be necessary if Smarticus didn't light the darned candles with a blowtorch... so maybe it's time for us to think about skipping the candles from now on. The truth is, I'm creeping ever closer to that age where there'll once again be a single candle on my cake, and everybody will tell me what a good girl I am if  I can summon enough hot air to blow it out in a single try.

Know what? Maybe it'd be better to skip the cake too, and just have a glass of wine.

Hey! I'm OLD. I can do that if I wanta.

Youth is the gift of nature, but age is a work of art.  [Stanislaw Jerry Lec]
                      (Too bad my work of art is being painted by Picasso...)

You don't stop laughing because you grow older. You grow older because you stop laughing.  [Maurice Chevalier]      

I'm happy to report that my inner child is still ageless.  [Jane Broughton]
                                     
You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.  [George Burns]

I am old enough to see how little I have done in so much time, and how much I have to do in so little. [Sheila Kaye Smith]

[image courtesy of unsplash]

Attitude, a sense of hope and humor, along with the feeling that one is not alone, is vital to a person's well-being, especially when fighting a deadly disease like cancer. Over the past few months, I couldn't help but notice some patients were at the cancer centers... alone... with no family member or friend along to share the burden.

Sure, we spoke to each another. Matter of fact, it's astounding how much and how quickly camaraderie develops within the confines of a cancer center. It's as though everyone's a member of the same club that no one wanted to join.

Still, it troubled me to see people there alone.

I told Smarticus that once we get him healthy, I'd like to volunteer at one of the centers. Maybe some of those loners would enjoy having someone with them during their lengthy chemo infusion...? Someone to chat with or play games with...? (Smarticus and I played a LOT of Yahtzee.)

He said maybe those people WANTED to be there alone. That thought had never crossed my mind, but it gave me something to chew on.

Still, it bothered me to see people there alone with no visible sign of support. Surely I could do... something.

Then serendipity struck. An article in the newspaper alerted me to a non-profit group that sends handwritten letters to breast cancer patients. The opening paragraph of this article, written by Erika Mailman, stated: A single card, written by a stranger, became a touchstone for a woman who had been diagnosed with breast cancer. She read it every night before bed. She brought it to every appointment. 

Ah HA! thought I. Such a simple... yet profound... way to offer encouragement and show support.

Girls Love Mail was started by writer and breast cancer survivor Gina Mulligan, and to date, this group has collected and forwarded 145,000 handwritten letters and cards to cancer centers all over the U.S. The article went on to express how much these letters mean to the women who've received them. In a world of sometimes social disconnection, these letters buck the trend... and they make a difference in these women's lives.

Making one person smile can change the world. Maybe not the whole world, but their world. 

Although these letters and cards currently go to breast cancer patients, maybe if the organization receives a large enough volume of them, they could be sent to other patients, as well. I dunno... but maybe. And although this organization serves patients in the U.S., maybe there are similar non-profit groups in other countries, as well...

Try to be a rainbow in someone's cloud. [Maya Anglou]

Not all of us can do great things, but we can do small things with great love. [Mother Teresa]


                                               
                               Until next time, take care of yourselves. And each other.

46 comments:

  1. Kisses from minion bob! Thank you. And Happy Birthday. I remember my mum went to all her cancer appointments alone and even went through two surgeries alone, because she didn't tell us she was sick! She lived in the mid north and would travel all the way to Adelaide for treatments and then go home without even letting us know she was in town. We eventually found out, she told me in a roundabout vague sort of way and I pieced together the clues. She said she didn't want to see us suffer by having to watch her go through all that.

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    1. I'm glad you like the minions, too. :) (King Bob!!!)

      I can totally understand your mother's reasoning, and to be perfectly honest, I might even do the same thing if I were in her situation. A Mom thing, maybe? None of us want to worry or "be a burden" to our children, but I have a feeling my kids would get pretty upset at being excluded and denied the opportunity to take care of me. For some of us, it's much easier to offer kindness to others than it is to accept it. Your mom, maybe...?

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  2. Happy Birthday! I know that feeling when the cake isn't big enough for the number of candles! Have a great day, all the best to you! December babies are the best! (Could be I'm one, too!) Great idea to support people who are ill, wonderful thought. Hugs, Valerie

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    1. Thank you! Ah HA... so birthday greetings are in order for you, too, eh? Well, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! I hope you have a glorious day... with perfect weather suitable for a special walkabout. :)

      Hugs back atcha.

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  3. Well, it's certainly my lucky day to come here and discover the kind and generous words with which you described me, Susan. I'm blushing and flattered....and truly humbled.
    Like you, I've never been superstitious about the number 13, and think it's kinda neat that our birthday falls on Friday the 13th today.
    (my black cat Bosco agrees)

    You have a special place in my heart. Your wit, wisdom, honesty, warmth, and love always shine through in your writing - and I have no doubt that all those who read your blog feel the same way.

    Have a fantastic birthday, my friend, filled with all good wishes.

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    1. Mary Todd Lincoln and actor Christopher Plummer share our birthday. Can you think of any others?

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    2. Happy birthday! Turnabout's fair play, I suppose... your words touched my heart, too. Even made my eyes leak a little. Thank you.

      Not sure, but I think it'd Tyler Perry's birthday, too. At least, that's what someone told me yesterday...

      I hope your birthday is fantabulous!

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  4. A very, very happy birthday to you and Jon.
    LOVE that card writing initiative.
    So very much. A simple gesture, packed to the gunwhales with meaning.

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    1. Thank you, sweet lady.

      YES! That's how that card-writing idea struck me, too. It's something any of us can do.

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  5. Have a lovely lazy day being spoiled by your family! So far growing old is great; I am at my oldest ever age right now! In fact I'm so old that my blood-type is obsolete...
    CLICK HERE for Bazza’s righteously rebarbative Blog ‘To Discover Ice’

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    1. Yep, I'm the oldest I've ever been before, too, but here's the sobering thought: I'm also the youngest I'll ever be!

      I'm so old, when I was born, the Dead Sea was only a little sick... :)

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  6. Happy, happy birthday, dear Susan. Having a lovely person like you born on the 13th shows how wrong superstitions are. I hope you are celebrating yourself because you are a very special person with a heart so big and kind that you deserve your bonfire.

    We also saw many people alone at the hospital getting their treatment. For some, it was because their partner and loved ones had to work so that they had insurance to cover the costs. My Retired Man wanted to go alone but there was no way that was going to happen. However, alone or not, we all bonded and were there for each other, a group that never wanted to meet, but a group that gained something from those they met. I will never forget some of their faces.

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    1. Thank you so much, sweet lady. Your words are too kind.

      You're right about that bonding. It was intense and immediate, and unlike anything I've ever experienced. No way my guy was going solo, either.

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  7. Happy birthday! We don't even bother with candles anymore.
    Never thought of Friday the thirteenth as unlucky. It's just like all the other days.
    I think that's a wonderful idea to volunteer at the center. Shame someone should go through such an ordeal alone.

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    1. Thanks! To tell the truth, we don't bother with candle, either, and we haven't for years. (But the thought of all those candles strikes me as funny...)

      Agreed. It makes me sad to think of anyone facing that alone.

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  8. Happy Birthday! Enjoy the day. We are lucky because you were born! I do like the card idea - everyone does like to get mail (that's not a bill), and it is something to keep and look at as necessary. Keep bringing joy and I'll look for the huge blaze. Many more!

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    1. Thanks! Well, I dunno if anyone else is lucky that I was born, but I sure was! (Even with a flashlight, it's waaaay too dark in that womb to read properly...)

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  9. Happy, happy birthday to you, Susan, and to all those celebrating birthdays!

    You can totally have cake AND wine.

    The line about the Picasso made me spit out my cereal - too funny!

    And how much do I love those Minions?!! :)

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    1. Thanks! Well, I actually bought a bottle of wine and put it in the fridge... and it's still there, unopened. I decided milk goes much better with chocolate cake. :)

      We love the minions, too. Our grandchildren have "outgrown" them... but we haven't!

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  10. HAPPY Birthday, Susan! (Jus' for the record, 13 is my favorite number.) I wholeheartedly agree about your review on Jon's poems. Love the thought of making time to send a hand-written note! Not until I began blogging did I feel the power of strangers' sincere words. Another of my blogger friends (Betty at A Bench with a View) participates in something similar, the Chemo Angels program. Here's a link to their site:
    https://www.chemoangels.com/

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    1. Thanks! I'm not surprised you agree about Jon's poems. I think they're extremely powerful, as though they were ripped from his soul.

      Thank you for the link to chemo angels. I LOVE what they're doing... just what I had in mind.

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  11. Happy Happy Birthday! How nice it would be to make the world a better place one card at a time. Even sharing a smile with a stranger can make or break their day!
    I started putting only 3 candles for anyone over 21 in our family. One for the the past, present and future. Sure saves the frosting from melting ....

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    1. Thanks, Ma! I knew you'd appreciate the card-writing initiative. :)

      Great idea about using three candles! Such a smart lady...

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  12. Happy birthday, Susan, and thanks so much for sharing the Girls Love Mail info. My mom is currently fighting breast cancer, and I'm glad for the chance to participate in this program.

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    1. Thanks, sweet lady. You're welcome. Give your mom a hug for me.

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  13. Happy Birthday! Bah, you don't need to be old to do what you want. Old people just seem to get away with it more lol Go for the wine.

    A great way to put a smile on a face indeed. Yeah, some people do want to be there by themselves, met a few.

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    1. HA! Well, I dunno if old people "get away" with more. It could be more a case of us simply not caring what other think anymore. If somebody doesn't like what we say or do, that's their problem. :)

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  14. Happy birthday, Susan! And IMHO it's perfectly OK to swap cake for a glass (or two) of wine!

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    1. Thanks, Ian! I think, so, too, only I'm actually a much better "talker" when it comes to drinking than I am a "doer." The bottle I put in the fridge remains unopened. (Milk goes much better with chocolate cake!)

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  15. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
    My sister's birthday is April 13th. We both consider it a lucky number. I think it's wonderful that you found the letter writing group. Is there someway to organize it via a blog hop? And why not for other patients...
    Hope you're enjoying or have enjoyed your night out!

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    1. THANKS! (Why are we yelling...?)

      I dunno about the blog hop idea, but maybe it would work. Go for it!

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  16. Hi Susan - here's another 13th - next month ... I've always considered 13 to be lucky ... congratulations to both you and Jon - a day late ... but happy weekend.

    Being alone when ill is always so difficult - yet some people are just so stalwart with life ... sometimes it's just knowing that there's someone there - I think that was important to my mother and my uncle ... and in fact to the lady I visited, who died recently, apparently she always asked the carers to read the postcards I'd sent across ... so she could 'keep in touch' ... I didn't know that til the staff told me. She had no-one in her life ... apart from a social worker, until I came along ... just so glad I could give her 'comfort and support' by being there.

    It'd be an excellent idea to volunteer, but the letter writing also helps enormously ... cheers Hilary

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    1. Hi-ya, Hilary. Happy weekend to you, too.

      I'm not at all surprised your kindness was such a comfort to that lady, but it isn't true that she had no one in her life... she had YOU. Bless you for that.

      Cheers back atcha!

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  17. I am old enough to see how little I have done in so much time, and how much I have to do in so little. [Sheila Kaye Smith]

    That would be me.

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  18. Happy Birthday!!! I saw your birthday notice on Facebook and planned to send you a special happy birthday, but then got distracted as I always do.

    Love those quotes. I need to borrow them.

    And Samrticus is right, on some counts. I went with my dad in the beginning. It was a special time- he'd pick me up. I'd bring the hot tea for us (coffee was upsetting his stomach by then) and we'd go together to the chemo treatment. After about a month, he told me to stay home. By then, I guess treatment was no biggie. It just became part of his medical routine. He did it for years because his kind of cancer wasn't curable- they just kept it at bay with experimental drugs and treatments.

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    1. Thanks! It was a lovely birthday, and a lovely weekend. :)

      You're right. I'm sure there are plenty of other cases where, like your dad, treatment transitions into a "maintenance" mode and becomes routine. Then it makes sense to go solo, but I hate the thought of anyone going through it alone for lack of another choice.

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  19. Dec.13 ... Me too, friend Sue:) In 64 years have never experienced an unlucky Fri 13th yet:) Love, cat.

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    1. Your birthday's the 13th, too? How cool! I hope you had a fantastic day.

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  20. I didn't see a comment box on your Christmas Traditions post. Replying here ... that it was very nice. We all celebrate a bit differently. But new traditions can always be made. The new year is a good time to add. The bucket list was especially meaningful.

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    1. Thanks. Our traditions have definitely changed over the years. The first time one of our kids hosted Thanksgiving and/or Christmas dinner, I was a little taken aback. But ya know? It feels really GOOD to pass the ol' baton onto the next generation. They all decorate their homes like crazy. Us? Not so much. I figure it's their turn now. :)

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  21. I hope you had a wonderful birthday! My first son turned 30 on December 14. This is a busy month for birthdays!

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    1. Thanks! I did. :)

      I hope your son had a super birthday, too.

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  22. Cancer is such a scary word, and even more alarming when the doctor is directing it towards you. I can't imagine someone wanting to go through the treatments alone, but your husband is right, of course...some people might... A letter is a less intrusive way to show you care, that maybe even the 'aloners by choice' would appreciate. Kudos to you for the heart to sit around and try to think of ways to help. I hope your husband is well and stays well. I remember how hard chemo sessions were (for someone I love, and those of us who love her).

    On another note, I laughed at your Christmas re-run. It wouldn't be Christmas in blog land without it. :)

    I hope you and your family had a great holiday, and that you have a wonderful New Year!

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