Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Snakes, and Snails, and Puppy Dog Tails

Thought for the day:  The sole purpose for a child's middle name is to let him know when he is in serious trouble.

Have you ever noticed the similarities between pets and children?

Well, it IS a fact that our sons loved to horse around like a couple of oversized puppies when they were growing up. Even well into their twenties, if the two of them were visiting at the same time, it was a pretty sure bet that they'd eventually end up rough-housing, which usually involved some loud bumping into and bouncing off the walls.

But times have changed. Now, they live in diferent states and have their own children, and their kids are the ones bouncing off the walls these days. (Don't ya LOVE it?)  My husband and I will be leaving on Friday to spend Easter weekend with our older son and his family. Two boys and a girl, just like we raised. For today's post, I'm going to list some of the interesting things you can learn by raising sons. (Kinda like "things my pets taught me" ... but different) Anyone who's ever raised both boys and girls can tell you how different they are. All blessings in their own right, but let's just say that boys can also be a rip-roaring odiferous rambunctious challenge. (and I wouldn't have it any other way!) Here's just SOME of the things they can teach you:

  • A king-sized waterbed holds enough water to create a 4-inch deep flood in a 2000 square foot home.
  • If you spray hairspray on dust bunnies and then run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
  • A 3-year-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
  • If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor isn't strong enough to rotate a 42-pound boy wearing batman underoos and a superman cape.
  • However, it  is strong enough, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 x 20 room.
  • You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.
  • When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit.
  • A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
  • The glass in windows (even double-paned) doesn't stop a baseball that's been hit by a ceiling fan.
  • When you hear a toilet flush and "uh-oh", it's already too late.
  • Brake fluid mixed with Chlorox makes smoke. A LOT of smoke.
  • A 6-year-old boy can start a fire with a flint rock, even though a 36-year-old man says it can only be done in the movies.
  • Certain Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year-old boy.
  • Play dough and microwave should never be used in the same sentence.
  • Super glue is forever.
  • No matter how much Jello you put into a swimming pool, you still can't walk on water.
  • Pool filters do not like Jello.
  • VCRs do not eject PB&J sandwiches, even though TV commercials show that they do.
  • Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
  • Marbles in gas tanks make a lot of noise when driving.
  • You probably don't want to know what that smell is.
  • Always check the oven before turning it on; ovens do NOT like plastic toys.
  • The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
  • It will, however, make cats dizzy.
  • Cats throw up twice their weight when dizzy.

Sayonara until Monday. I hope you all have a blessed weekend. Take care of yourselves, and each other.

ARRRRRRRRRGH!!! I do NOT know why, but the pictures I've tried to put into this post (a bazillion times) absolutely re-FUSE to show up. Dadgum it. Sorry. (they were good pictures, too!)


  1. ROF,L! Your list is too true. Having raised a girl and a boy, I can vouch for it. ;)

  2. I'm so glad Monster Child is a girl. These were priceless. And I guess I won't be getting a water bed. And yes, we've already had the balls up on the ceiling fan.

    Have a great safe relaxing trip.

  3. Hi, Just too funny! My two were girls and a completely different story...theirs was more like sniping at one another when they were irritated. I enjoyed the facts that you wrote. Thanks for visiting my blog! Ruby

  4. Hi, Ladies.

    Thank y'all for stopping by. I really appreciate your comments. Still haven't figured out why I was unable to post pictures on this page, but a google search tells me that it isn't an unusual problem.

    Take care.

  5. This is hilarious :-) Loved it - thanks for the cheer up!