Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Who Moved That Wall?

Thought for the day:  I'm not clumsy. Things just keep getting in my way.

So, how do you rate on the clumsy-meter? Does the furniture jump out in front of you? The dog and cat get under your feet? Do ladders have a way of wobbling as soon as you climb on them? And dishes jump right out of your hand and commit suicide? Does Lady Luck sometimes have a good laugh at your expense?

(ahem) Me neither.

Well, okay, so I do occasionally experience a slight mishap. Or two. But I'm not nearly as bad as I used to be. To give you an idea of how bad I used to be, when I was walking up to accept my diploma, my best gal pals said in unison, "Don't trip!"

They knew me well.

But last weekend, when I was painting our living room and hallway, I ALMOST fell off the ladder. But I DIDN'T. Big improvement.

Still, have you ever had one of those days? You know, you start the day by stepping on a slimy hairball in your bare feet. Spill your cup of tea all over your favorite pair of slippers. Stub your toe on the kitchen table ... and spill your second cup of tea. Write out your extensive grocery list, gather your coupons, and then leave both the list and the envelope of coupons sitting on the kitchen table when you head to the store. The darned store has been rearranged, so it takes you twice as long to find everything, or at least everything you can remember from that darned list that's still sitting on your kitchen table. Cash register runs out of paper. Wait for the cashier to fix it. Scanner goes on the fritz. Load everything back into the cart and go to sabotage another line. Succeed. An elephant is standing in the middle of the road, and it takes forever for the police to get traffic moving again. While waiting, you eat all the damned ice cream. (No sense letting it all melt, right?) Traffic finally moves, and you get stuck at the train tracks by the longest train you've ever seen. Six flipping engines.

Okay, I may or may not have made up some of that stuff. Or all of it. Point is, most of us do experience those  kinds of days. I mean, some days you're the bug, and some days you're the windshield. But I dare say none of us have experienced some of the stuff in the pictures I'm gonna show you. Talk about bad days! 

But first, are you an Elvis fan? Ever see G.I. Blues? There's a song in there called Didja Ever, and it's all about having one of those kinds of days. Here ya go. Before going on to look at the pictures, how about watching this clip of the King singing that song. I can wait.

Done? Nice, huh? Okay, check out these pictures, and let's all thank our lucky stars we aren't as unlucky as THESE poor schnooks.

and then it hit him ...

This isn't gonna be pretty.

His day is about to  get a lot worse.

Gertrude removes the hat, and then Heathcliff swoops in to drop the "bomb."

Don't look up! Don't look up!

The beans are killing me, man.

The only way to "snort coke".

Clumsiest toast EVER!

There. Feeling graceful and lucky now? Good. My work here is done. All of those cool pictures are courtesy of The next pic, however, is from Both are extremely cool sites.

                                         Until next time, take care of yourselves. And each other.



  1. I have fallen asleep on the couch and woken up with a black eye. No kidding. So yeah, I'm a klutz. Ask my dogs. heehee

  2. I suppose I fall under the "less graceful" category. Why can't these things happen in private places with no audience?
    Love the cat. Now I have to clean the snort coffee off my monitor.

  3. Why, just this morning I slammed my thumb in the roll-top breadbox, tripped over both cats and smacked my head with a door. I understand entirely.

  4. Skippy- You poor thing. When I was a kid, I sometimes woke up with whopping nose bleeds, but never a black eye. (usually got them when I was wide awake)

    Delores- If all the world's a stage, it's only fitting that we should have an audience to appreciate our pratfalls. (But MUST they laugh so hard???)

    Austan- I think our heads are so filled with, ya know, "headier stuff", we simply can't be bothered with such inanities as paying attention to what we're doing. (ahem) Too smart for our own good? Works for me.

  5. I think a bad day can make a great story. I look for them, embrace them, and love to share them. They are my goldmine. I love the klutz I am, and after a trip to the ER, I can have a month's worth of anecdotes to entertain my family and friends. One of my best stories is when I had a heart blockage and had to have a stent put in an artery. Now you might not think that would be amusing, but you never met my physician, Doctor Frankenstein. I will have to share that story some day on my blog.

    Anyway, because life for many of us is about mess-ups, it is good to have a sense of humor and make the most of the moments. My grandfather died while laughing and that is the way I want to go also.

  6. Wonderful timing with this post -- I'm having one of those days today. Stubbed toes, dropped cups, tripped on stairs...heck, I'm afraid to get off the couch now. I believe I'll take a pass on slicing any bagels until things settle back down. *wry grin*

  7. Hi, Arleen. I agree. When I was in the hospital after my appendix exploded, I had a "special" nurse we nicknamed Beetle Bailey. Worst, clumsiest, most inept nurse EVER, but she sure gave us a lot of fodder for later schticks. She may have hurt me a time or two, but she was the one crying about it. Made me laugh. (The drugs probably helped ...)

    Linda- Sounds like you need to take a nap. Or have toast instead of the bagel. Take care.

  8. The cat picture and commentary are totally cat-ish. I honestly think that cats never got over being worshiped in ancient Egypt.

  9. LOL I'm going to remember these "bad day" photos the next time I start to whine about how my day has been. I'll always know it could be worse!

    I love the cat pic, so funny and so typical of cats. That site is always so funny!

    As far as the clumsy meter, I am so clumsy I think I am probably off the charts! :D

  10. Hi-ya, Connie. Ya mean cats aren't still objects of worship? Ours think they are. And they consider us their staff. (Gotta love 'em!)

    Julie- You can't be TOO clumsy. You finished your 400 miles, and you're still here to blog about it!

  11. As long as we're passing out clumsy awards, my claim to fame was when my ski instructor gave up on me during my very first lesson. He told me that I was too dangerous to ski with as he left me up on the mountain. I'm impressed that you did all that painting! I'm sure it looks lovely! Just be careful on the ladder. Julie

  12. Ha, ha! Funny photos! I am a tremendous clutz. I frequently fall over my own feet, bang my elbows, bump my head, etc. I think I suffer from a learning disability where I'm not fully aware of the location of all my body parts at any given time.

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  14. (Let's see if I can do this without any stupid typos this time.)

    Hi-ya, Julie. Oh now, that ski instructor was just plain old mean. The painting turned out really well, and I finished the job faster than I ever had before. (Getting determined in my old age.) The color's called pineapple upside down cake, and my choosing it had absolutely nothing to do with how much I like that cake.

    Dianne- Okay, now I'm convinced. Clumsiness and imagination & creativity must be inversely proportional. We're too busy imagining and creating to be concerned with something so mundane as the location of our body parts.

  15. lol great selection... i think ive been in a few of those situations!

  16. No, not me. Now where did I put the bandages?

  17. Hi-ya, Jeremy. Oh dear, sounds like you must be a daredevil. AKA male. Thanks for stopping by, dear sir.

    Hey, Cro. Me neither.

  18. yeah, I admit to being a bit clumsy at times myself, which was why I liked Bella :)

    btw, I have an award for you over at my blog if you're interested.

  19. OMG. Those pics are hilarious but I think my fave is that yellow floor sign all the way at the top! :)

  20. Hi, Marcy. Thank you, ma'am. I'll stop by your blog asap.

    Hi, Liz. Glad you liked the pics. Thanks for stopping by.

  21. One of my best belief is if I had a affection blockage and had to accept a stent put in an artery. Now you ability not anticipate that would be amusing.
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