Gambling for Tatas

Thought for the day: Did you hear about the mother potato who got steamed because her daughter wanted to marry a famous newscaster and have a houseful of tater tots? Yeah, it seems the daughter was pure Yukon Gold, and he was nothing but a commentator.

Everyone who associates Idaho with potatoes, say eye.


Okay, so potatoes aren't Idaho's only claim to fame, but it's the most commonly known. And for good reason. They grow a LOT of potatoes.

In a state where cows allegedly outnumber people, there's a lot more to love besides our favorite mashed, scalloped, and au gratin potatoes. It's been said the people are so friendly, if your car breaks down on a state highway, the first person who comes along not only stops to pick you up, but takes you home for dinner with the family, and puts you up in the guest room overnight. And if a small town restaurant doesn't have what you want, the waitress will run three blocks to the nearest store to get it for you. True, most Idaho towns have more tackle shops, outfitters' businesses, and whitewater businesses than houses, but it sounds like a relaxed once upon a time way of living, where neighbors not only know neighbors, but are willing to lend a hand when it's time to dig up those taters.

So, let's take a quick look at some of the things you can find in Idaho, before we shred and fry some of their laws to a golden turn.

What's not to love about the world's largest beagle?

                                                                             

Big Springs

Cataldo Mission

The Jesuits' Cataldo Mission is the oldest building in the state. The first Service was held there in 1852.         

   

The Birds of Prey Wildlife area has the densest population of eagles, hawks, and falcons in the world.                                                                                                                                       

Crystal Ice Cave

Yeah, as you can imagine, a state with something called the Crystal Ice Cave has a lot of winter activities, like the McCall Winter Festival, where you can see awesome ice sculptures, like the bear on the left, play snowshoe golf, do a little snowbike racing, tubing, skiing, horse skijoring, (a sport where a person on skis is pulled by a horse, dogs, or a motor vehicle ... yee-HA!) or some good ol' wine tasting. Sounds like a more sophisticated Redneck Games, only with snow and ice instead of mud and beer.     

Hell's Canyon

Carved by the Snake River, Hell's Canyon is ten miles wide, and at 7993 feet deep, the deepest gorge in the country. It's located along the Idaho-Oregon border.

Sawtooth Mountains

Shoshone Falls, a 212-foot drop

Soda Springs geyser

The Soda Springs geyser is the largest man-made CO2 geyser in the world. It first squirted sky-high in 1937, when a local man was drilling in search of a warm water source for his swimming pool. He got a little more than he'd bargained for when he accidentally tapped into an underground CO2 chamber. Unlike Old Faithful, a natural geyser, this one would've squirted continually until it was spent, so the town placed a cap on it, and now allows it to erupt on a schedule of their choosing. On calm days, it can erupt 100 to 150 feet into the air. On windy days, the cap stays in place.

Okay, so do we have any interesting laws this week? Y'all were a little disappointed at how rational Hawaii's laws are, so let's see if we can do a little better this time:

• It's illegal for a man to give his sweetheart a box of candy weighing less than fifty pounds. (All RIGHT!)
• You may not fish on a camel's back. (Probably not many fish there, anyway.)
• It's against the law to ride a merry-go-round on a Sunday.
• In Boise, you may not fish from a giraffe's back. (Probably not many fish there, either.)
• In Couer d'Alene, if a police officer suspects occupants of a vehicle are engaging in sex, he must honk his horn or flash his lights, and then wait three minutes before approaching the vehicle. (Wow! Talk about polite!)
• In Eagle, it's illegal to sweep dirt from one's house into the street.
• And no bicycles on the tennis courts.
• And no camping on the sidewalks, either.
• In Pocatello, a person may not be seen in public without a smile on their face. (Told ya! Friendly, friendly, friendly!)

Okay, boys and girls, the moment you've all been waiting for. It's time for (ta-DA!)

The Weirdest News Stories of the Week

*** Saturday morning TV commercials have long been directed at youngsters, but have you ever heard of an ad designed to get your dog's attention? Austrian TV will be airing ads for Nestle's Beneful dog food that more or less contain a subliminal message aimed at canines. During the commercial, high frequency tones, undetectable by human ears, will issue a siren call to Fido, much like a dog whistle. No telling if the stimulus will initiate Pavlov's drooling dog response, but it should make pooches sit up and pay attention to the TV. And THAT, the company hopes, will make owners pay attention, too. And buy Beneful.

*** Most of us would rather shuffle off this earth with a bang, instead of a whimper. Now there's a company in Alabama that gives everyone the opportunity to do just that. Thad Holmes and Clem Parnell, owners of Holy Smokes LLC, turn cremains into ammunition ... for shotgun, pistol, or rifle. One pound of ashes mixed with shot produces 250 shotgun shells, or it can be sealed into the hollow tips of bullets to produce 250 pistol rounds, or 100 rifle. Aimed at gun enthusiasts and hunters, this allows the deceased to keep on hunting with his pals. Or to be the centerpiece of one bang-up shooting party.

*** Trump's Taj Mahal in Atlantic City is holding a Nip, Tuck, and Lift Sweepstakes, and you could say they're aiming to "change the face" of the usual casino promotion. Just think of it. Win big at Blackjack, and you could earn a boob job. Have a winning streak at the roulette wheel, and get yourself some botox treatments, or liposuction. During this month's unusual promotion, Trump One cardholders have the opportunity to earn points, and those with enough points will be entered into the grand drawing, to be held on the 29th. The winner gets $25,000 worth of plastic surgery. I've heard of people losing their shirts by gambling, but now somebody has the opportunity to lose a bunch of blubber. What a concept.

*** One last story. You'd think if a person lost a bunch of blubber ... that is, had liposuction, he'd be happy to tell that load of fat adios. Forever. But, maybe not. Orlando, Florida, cosmetic surgeon Jeffrey Hartog offers liposuction patients another alternative. With his company Liquid Gold, that suctioned fat can now be stored in a warehouse. He suggests it could come in handy for later procedures, like filling in wrinkles. Other doctors question the viability of the stored fat, but it's a good guess that, if nothing else, that doc's wallet will be getting fatter.


                                             Until next time, take care of yourselves. And each other.