Wednesday, October 3, 2012

What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

Thought for the day:  Charlton Heston admitted he had a drinking problem, and I said to myself, "Thank God this guy doesn't own any guns!"  [David Letterman]  For those who don't know, in addition to being an actor, Heston was also a very outspoken gun enthusiast and president of the National Rifle Association.

In March, I told y'all about a feisty group of Georgia ladies whose weekly evening out means blasting targets at an indoor shooting range, followed by a book club meeting. (If you missed it, you can find it here )

Now I have a NEW endeavor to tell you about. How about a planned gun club in my fair state that just got a license to serve...  alcohol? Woo HOO, huh? I mean, what could go wrong?

                                                After all, what's a more natural go-together than


Right? Besides, I'm sure this new $3.5 million-dollar establishment will hang a sign similar to this one to remind members of the importance of clear thinking, and in engaging one's brain when handling a firearm of any kind.

So, what, I ask you, could go wrong? We all know most adults are mature responsible drinkers, and as such, are quite capable of intelligent and proper (Yee-HA!)  behavior after inhaling certain beverages.

                                                               Both men... and women.

The NRA says, "Guns don't kill people. People do." But I think the gun helps.  [Eddie Izzard]

Okay, you can relax now. The only thing that's actually gonna be loaded on this range are the weapons. There aren't going to be any poop-faced shooters waving a gun in one hand and a glass of bourbon in the other. In spite of some of the inflammatory remarks I've heard about this being a wild west concept,  according to the owners, the Governors Gun Club will be run like a members-only country club, only instead of playing golf or tennis, members of this club will shoot bullets or arrows. And the lounge isn't going to be a common barroom, either. No, sirree. It'll be a lounge. You know, a dignified place where Full Metal Jacket members (those with lounge privileges) can partake of food and adult libations.

In Georgia, where it's already legal to tote a firearm into restaurants and bars, is this concept that much different? In fact, the club is supposed to institute stringent rules. (Which may not be the case at the corner restaurant or watering hole.)  Here's the plan:

  • No boozing on the range. 
  • No going on the range after boozing, either. 
  • And weapons will be secured by a valet before going into the lounge.
Sounds sensible enough, right? Besides, what's wrong with the wild west? Think how boring the old oaters would be without shoot-outs, player pianos, and dance instructors ... you know, the helpful fellas in the saloon who used a six-shooter to teach other fellas how to dance.

                           Around these parts, gun control refers to a person's shooting skills, pardner.

                                       And so I ask you again ... what could possibly go wrong?

Let's see, we've talked about books & guns, and booze & guns... if you were to propose a fun combo of a couple of your hobbies, how would you do it? Let's see... I could combine amateur radio with folk music and guitar-playing, and call it ... (ta-DA!) Hamstrings.  Or how about a merger of gardening and poker? (Ants and antes, of course.) Or, maybe...

                                       Until next time, take care of yourselves. And each other.


  1. Wow - guns, booze, and books! It almost sounds like Texas - except that Texans don't know what books are.

    Restricting the guns and booze to an upscale, country club setting will certainly put CLASS into CRASS.
    (somewhere there's a smigen of sarcasm....)

  2. I think booze and target practice could turn out ok but if you add just one other activity, like ballet-dancing or dentistry, you're almost inviting an accident.

  3. Okay, this sounds like the stupidest idea ever. I lived in Nevada for a few years where guns and bars were truly for real, and when you mix booze and bullets someone does eventually get hurt.

  4. :) Hamstrings. That was cute, Sus. The Letterman quote was hilarious.

    Okay, well this is pretty bad but it's all I could come up with. Two things I love are owls and truth so my hybrid this morning is, 'Give a hoot, get at the root.'

    (I know. Cringe. And the only sauce I'm hitting is pinon coffee.)

  5. I'm not a big fan of guns, but after writing my last WIP, which involved a shoot out in the climax, my brother-in-law/weapons-expert offered to take me out to a shooting range to get a feel for it.

    I might just take him up on it. Just to see.

  6. Five years ago over 97,000 were shot by guns in the US; 30,000 of them died. I would imagine that figure went up. Americans love their guns. I will never understand why.

  7. Wowzer. I don't even know what to say. I enjoy a drink. I used to enjoy shooting at the range. But the idea of mixing these as a form of entertainment....

  8. guns and boggles the mind. I wonder why they couldn't figure out how to include road racing in that combo?

  9. Jon- Class into crass, huh? Clever way to put it. And you're wrong about Texans and books. Whether you want to admit it or not, YOU live there... so at least for now, that makes you a book-toting, poetry-writing, piano-playing Texan.

    Geo- HA! I'm afraid some of the shooters might "mistake" the ballet dancers and/or dentists as targets.

    Anne- Yeah, it'll be interesting to see how this plays out. With GA's pro-gun laws and lax restrictions, I think it's become more "wild west" than Nevada.

    Suze- I love your "Give a hoot; get at the root." Clever. Reminds me of Woodsy Owl. Like Smoky Bear, he was a mascot of the forestry service, and some of the words in their song about him went, "Give a hoot; don't pollute..."

    Dianne- You should take him up on it. I think target-shooting is a lot of fun. (WITHOUT the booze.)

    Arleen- My husband is a lifetime member of the NRA, and used to hunt. My brother used to be a competitive shooter and worked at a shooting range. All three of us enjoy target shooting and own guns, but I wouldn't say that any of us love them. As a sport, I consider shooting to be every bit as enjoyable as archery, horseshoes, bowling, or throwing a football through a swinging tire. Without a doubt, irresponsible gun owners can and do enable accidental shootings. No argument there. On the other hand, I have to agree with the stance that if guns were outlawed, only outlaws would have guns. One of our towns here in Georgia actually passed a law some years ago requiring every homeowner to own a gun. (However, those who requested it, were also given a waiver from following the law.) The end result of that law was a dramatic decrease in crime in that town, to the point of virtual non-existence. Criminals didn't want to risk assaulting someone or breaking into a home when they knew how high the likelihood was of facing an armed homeowner. On the flip side, if criminals knew law-abiding citizens were unarmed and defenseless, don't you think that might have an adverse effect on the crime rate? I understand where you're coming from, though. The horrific mass shootings that have taken place are enough to make anyone question the wisdom of gun ownership. But I think those who are determined to main and kill other human beings will find a way to do so, with or without guns. I don't believe taking away the right to own a gun is the answer; I think the answer is teaching proper responsibility.

    L.G.- Hopefully, the rules will be strictly enforced, and the two endeavors will never actually "mix".

    Delores- Hey! This is Georgia. Somebody may still figure out a way to add some NASCAR racing to the mix. Heck, maybe they'll even team up with the Redneck Olympics.

  10. Wow. I enjoy a cocktail, and I've been known to target shoot at a range. But never would I consider combining the two activities. Sheesh. The mind boggles.

  11. Linda- I wouldn't either, but the intention is to keep the two activities separate. That's the intention, anyway. What actually transpires remains to be seen. (And I'll be observing from a verrrry safe distance.)

  12. Booze, Books, and Bullets now where is the problem and how could anything go wrong :)

    Whats the old redneck entertainment source "A six-pack and a bug zapper" just think if you added a gun.

  13. Aloha Susan,

    Thanks for stopping by and for your kind comments - I appreciate them :)

    I'm thinking that *if* there is ever an accident, at least they'll have enough alcohol pads :)

    PS... to borrow your gardening tip, I would add a group of writers who don't like making outlines and come up with "ants in your pants." :)

  14. This is where I realize that we all may be from the same country, but each of our states maintains their own culture. I had no idea it was legal to carry guns into bars in Georgia...or anywhere. Yikes. As for the new place, we'll yes, they can shoot and they can check their gun and they can go drink. What happens when they leave?

  15. booze and poker, yes. booze and guns, um, that would be a definite no!

    As much as I enjoy target shooting and believe in my right to bear to bear arms, the two should not ever mix. ever, imo.

  16. Hamstrings: I love it. I wish I could think of a term for blogging while I play the piano. I can do actually do this because of the six fingers on my right hand and the seven toes on my left hand. Maybe the term is "crazy."


  17. I do a fair amount of shooting. Over 2000 pictures last year. From my cold, dead hands...!!!

  18. What a total hoot!!! Love this post. I needed a chuckle. Sorry but guns and alcohol DO NOT MIX. Wait a spell and we'll find out.
    I have to say, I love your name HOT ROD. I'd use that now if it were my name. Pretty cool. Thanks for stopping by my blog.
    Enjoyed yours.

  19. lol (and groan) at Hamstrings ;)

    I like the sound of that book club hehe

  20. It might not be a bad idea to wear a bulletproof vest, and helmet just in case! Better yet you should consider dusting off your suit of armor! Stay safe my funny friend! Julie

  21. Jimmy- Uh-oh. I remember sitting on the deck around the pool with friends some years ago, and being quite "entertained" by the bug zapper. (And yes, some adult beverages may have been involved...) Guess that officially makes us rednecks, huh?

    Mark- Aloha to you, too. And thanks for stopping by, and for signing on as a new follower. I do appreciate it, dear sir. "Ant in your pants" is a good one. Welcome aboard.

    Liza- Very good point. Let's hope customers are limited in the amount of alcohol they're allowed to consume. Georgia legislators tried to pass laws enabling people to carry guns into churches and schools, too. Can you imagine?

    Marcy- Oh yeah, booze and poker. You're my kinda gal.

    Janie- Piano-playing plus blogging, huh? How about Nifty Noting?

    Pixel- Funny. (Ya got me!)

    Barb- Yeah, we'll find out in due time, and I hope we're pleasantly surprised. Thanks. I really like the name Hot Rod, too.

    Lynda- If I've made you groan or laugh, my mission here is complete. If that gun shooting ladies' book club met on my side of town, I would soooo want to join!

    Julie- Might be an even better idea to stick with the more plebeian ranges that don't include fancy lounges inside.

  22. Guns and alcohol together! That's got to end in trouble! Love the Hamstrings. Think I'd go for Cards and flowers... bids and buds!

  23. Rosalind- "Bids and buds" is brilliant! Super job.

  24. Kittie- Yeah, that seems to be the consensus of opinion.