Friday, July 21, 2017

Cultured Pearls of Wisdom

Thought for the day:   Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused. 


When it comes to editing my newest book, I sometimes feel like I'm following the one step forward, two steps back methodology. Cut three paragraphs here... good, good... and now add four more new ones here... rats!

Oh well. (One forward, two back, cha-cha-cha... might as well make a dance of it.)

Continuing with my whirlwind of mildly edited summer re-runs, we have for your reading pleasure today a gently-used oldie but goody that first appeared in August of 2011 as A Little Culture to Enlighten Your Day. I hope you enjoy it.

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Thought for the day:  A cloudy day is no match for a sunny disposition.   William Arthur Ward

Chinese writing is more than writing. It's like artwork, which may explain why so many people sport lovely-looking tattoos of Chinese characters on their bodies. The ones on the left are supposed to mean tranquility, harmony, serenity, and peace. 

Nice, huh? I think we can all agree they're sentiments we can heartily embrace. Nonetheless...

Not that I'm inclined to get a tattoo, mind you, but if I were, it wouldn't include a single one of those lovely Chinese characters. Not that I don't appreciate the sentiments they're supposed to represent, but that's just it . . .  supposed to represent.  Just my luck, I'd get some smart-ass tattooist who'd adorn my body with a very lovely-looking Chinese obscenity just for the helluvit. I mean, how would I know? Yep, to spare myself any potential embarrassment, I think it'd be best to stick with a very safe itty bitty butterfly tattoo. Or maybe a cosmic tattoo of the earth... from reeeeeally reeeeeally far away. (Unimaginative people might call it a blue dot...)

Anyhow, today we're going for something slightly more cultured than tattoos. (WHAT? Hey, I can do culture...) We're going to talk about pearls. No, just kidding. We're actually going to talk about the great Confucius. He lived in China from 551 until 479 BC and was a great thinker, political figure, and educator. And man, was he ever wise. His words continue to resonate today, and not just in fortune cookies, either. Consider the following:
  • Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two holes.
  • Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it.
  • Forget injuries; never forget kindnesses.
  • He who will not economize will have to agonize.
  • It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.
  • Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in getting up every time we do.
Brilliant, right? But suppose there were some other things he meant to say. Y'know, things he would've said if he were sitting around, sipping wine, and chilling with his pals? In the best interest of furthering your education, it's only fitting that I share with you what some of them might have been. If he'd only thought of 'em . . . 




  • He who sling mud at neighbor will lose ground.
  • He who live in glass house better dress in basement.
  • War no determines who is right. Determines who is left.
  • Man who sit on tack get point.
  • He who laugh last not get joke.
  • The early worm catch fish.
  • When you angry at neighbor, walk a mile in his shoes. Then you be a mile away from him, and you have new shoes.
  • Crowded elevator smell different to midget.
  • Passionate kiss like spider's web. Soon lead to undoing of fly.
  • Man who run in front of car get tired.
  • Man who run in back of car get exhausted.
  • Man with hand in pocket feel cocky.
  • Man who scratches butt should not bite fingernails.
  • Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
  • Pregnancy happen when woman take seriously something poked in fun.
  • House without toilet uncanny.
  • Man who cut self while shaving lose face.
  • Man who fart in church sit in own pew.



See? I bet you feel smarter already.

Until next time, take care of yourselves. And each other.






















46 comments:

  1. I suspect Confucious would also have enjoyed the re-runs. And even if he wouldn't I did. Thank you.
    Laughter never goes amiss. And I look (and feel) better laughing, sniggering, or smiling than sobbing.
    Happy editing -and weekend.

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    1. I'm glad you enjoyed it, sweet Sue.

      Yes, a thousand times yes. Laughing is like exercise for our insides, and unlike sobbing, it doesn't leave us with a clogged nose and puffy eyes. :)

      You have a super weekend, too.

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  2. lol undoing the fly and poked in fun can bring a two for one. Could go for the three-fer and feel cocky first too. Midgets may want to avoid crowded elevators.

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    1. Always happy to make you LOL, funny man. :)

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  3. Reading your post was a great way to start my day. He who gets up smiling will often have a great day. Thanks, Susan.

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    1. I'm glad to hear it. I hope you start EVERY day with a smile. You know the hymn that starts out "This is the day, this is the day, this is the day that the Lord has made..."? I sing that in my head every morning when I wake up, and it usually starts me off with a good feeling and a smile. (Seeing's as how I wake up way earlier than my hubby, if I sang it out loud, I would NOT be starting the day with a good feeling or a smile... HA!)

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  4. Ha ha ha! :)

    There's an old episode of The Big Bang Theory where Penny has a tattoo she thinks says "courage" but turns out it's really the symbol for soup. :)

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    1. Woo HOO! Made ya laugh!

      I LOVE Big Bang, and I thought I'd seen every episode, but I must have missed that one. Sounds like a good one. (They ALL are!)

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    2. It's the one where Penny falls in the shower and Sheldon has to take her to the ER. :)

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    3. Oh, okay. I remember that episode... I just don't remember the part about the tattoo. I'll have to pay closer attention next time. (And you know there WILL be a next time...)

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  5. I wonder how many of the tattoos of the Chinese symbols the person wearing them can actually read?

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  6. culture? here? What, the heck, you still turned the corner to funny. Also, I like your new updated pic and profile. It caught my eye today for some reason. Good stuff. Have a swell...sweltering weekend. Misery loves company. Stay cool, my friend and keep ch-cha-cha-ing.

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    1. Thanks. I figure it's a good idea to update the profile pic once a year, so it grows old with me. :)

      Boy, sweltering is right. My outdoor time will be verrrrry limited this weekend. It's definitely too hot to cha-cha-cha out there.

      Have a super weekend. (Your nice cool pool must feel kinda like bath water by now...)

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  7. If Confucius HAD thought of those golden nuggets of wisdom he could have been a stand up comic....way ahead of his time.

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    1. Good thought. It'd be a hoot if someone did do a stand-up routine along those lines. Hmmm, if I were a guy... and Chinese... :)

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  8. Oh My Goodness ! So funny.
    Here is a Pearl Of Wisdom from me to you...
    Never get an all black puppy (I really didn't want a PUPPY) when you are 72, needs a walker and can't really see that well !

    cheers, parsnip


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    1. Uh-oh. That doesn't sound good... I hope you weren't hurt. You're gonna have to put a miner's hat on that pup.

      Cheers back atcha.

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  9. Ha! Funny stuff today. Hope you have a nice weekend!

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    1. Thanks. I'm glad you liked it. You have a super weekend, too!

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  10. A very bright spot on a busy day. Thanks, Susan.

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    1. Thanks, dude. Being a bright spot is always a satisfying thing to be.

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  11. Susan, thanks for another amusing and enlightening post. Your "reruns" always endure the test of time.
    Wow - I haven't heard the Hokey Pokey in a looong time. I like that clinic sign!

    And, of course, good luck with the editing!

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    1. Thanks, cowboy. Good luck to you, too. (I'm hoping you're still hard at work on that memoir...)

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  12. Tiny blue dot ... bahahaha. I never considered that about mischievous tattoo artists, but it's not implausible, is it? Good thing I loathe ink!

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    1. I don't exactly loathe ink, but I'm not interested in drawing any more attention to my saggy old skin than necessary. :) (Have you ever considered how terribly rude it is for a company to label some of its "mature woman" clothing with the name Sag Harbor...?)

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  13. I'd like to know how many of those cool-looking Chinese tattoos say "beef with broccoli."

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    1. HA! Quite a few. (They could at least have the decency to give gals the tattoo for CHICK and broccoli...)

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  14. Where IS that Hokey Pokey clinic? Sometimes I could use some turning around! Keep on editing...I am :)

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    1. HA! I think we all could.

      Good luck with the editing.

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  15. So funny! 💜 Thanks for stopping by and leaving me a comment. I do have tons of followers, but that happened many years ago when I first started blogging... I don't get a lot of comments and I'm sure many of those folk have quit blogging. Hope you have a great weekend... Good luck on your latest book.

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    1. 'Twas my pleasure, dear lady. Thank you for returning the favor.

      A lot of my followers have faded into the sunset, too, but I can't help but hope they'll come back to blogging again someday. You have a super weekend, too. Keep cool!

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  16. I can relate so well to the one step forward, two steps backward thing. Except for my projects, I seem to trip on a rock and fall off a cliff after doing the two-steps-backwarding, LOL. Best of luck with your edits!

    And this new-to-me rerun was a lot of fun! :)

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    1. But I'm sure your fall from that cliff is oh-so-graceful. :)

      Thanks. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

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  17. One that I like the most: "It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop>

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    1. That is a good one. Thanks so much for stopping by. :)

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  18. I'm a sucker for those stupid Confuciunisms. My favorite was always the baseball one. Confucius say man with four balls CANNOT walk.

    Also, it finally happened: a Chinese person with a random English word tattooed on her.
    http://i.imgur.com/LA7OXTD.jpg

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    1. HA! I never heard the baseball one before. True enough!

      HA! That tattoo is... invaluable. :)

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  19. Hi Susan - I don't think I can beat those, or even join in with them ... yes some people have got a seriously wrong tattoo - can't do them ... four balls - well I've given up tennis ones for this year ... and mine had rosewater on them! Cheers Hilary

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    1. Hi-ya, Hilary.

      HA! I'm glad to hear about the rosewater. Our baseball players should consider smearing on a bit of rosewater, too ... it'd eliminate a lot of foul balls!

      Cheers back atcha.

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