Cultured Pearls of Wisdom

Thought for the day:   Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused. 

When it comes to editing my newest book, I sometimes feel like I'm following the one step forward, two steps back methodology. Cut three paragraphs here... good, good... and now add four more new ones here... rats!

Oh well. (One forward, two back, cha-cha-cha... might as well make a dance of it.)

Continuing with my whirlwind of mildly edited summer re-runs, we have for your reading pleasure today a gently-used oldie but goody that first appeared in August of 2011 as A Little Culture to Enlighten Your Day. I hope you enjoy it.

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Thought for the day:  A cloudy day is no match for a sunny disposition.   William Arthur Ward

Chinese writing is more than writing. It's like artwork, which may explain why so many people sport lovely-looking tattoos of Chinese characters on their bodies. The ones on the left are supposed to mean tranquility, harmony, serenity, and peace. 

Nice, huh? I think we can all agree they're sentiments we can heartily embrace. Nonetheless...

Not that I'm inclined to get a tattoo, mind you, but if I were, it wouldn't include a single one of those lovely Chinese characters. Not that I don't appreciate the sentiments they're supposed to represent, but that's just it . . .  supposed to represent.  Just my luck, I'd get some smart-ass tattooist who'd adorn my body with a very lovely-looking Chinese obscenity just for the helluvit. I mean, how would I know? Yep, to spare myself any potential embarrassment, I think it'd be best to stick with a very safe itty bitty butterfly tattoo. Or maybe a cosmic tattoo of the earth... from reeeeeally reeeeeally far away. (Unimaginative people might call it a blue dot...)

Anyhow, today we're going for something slightly more cultured than tattoos. (WHAT? Hey, I can do culture...) We're going to talk about pearls. No, just kidding. We're actually going to talk about the great Confucius. He lived in China from 551 until 479 BC and was a great thinker, political figure, and educator. And man, was he ever wise. His words continue to resonate today, and not just in fortune cookies, either. Consider the following:

• Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two holes.
• Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it.
• Forget injuries; never forget kindnesses.
• He who will not economize will have to agonize.
• It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.
• Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in getting up every time we do.

Brilliant, right? But suppose there were some other things he meant to say. Y'know, things he would've said if he were sitting around, sipping wine, and chilling with his pals? In the best interest of furthering your education, it's only fitting that I share with you what some of them might have been. If he'd only thought of 'em . . . 

• He who sling mud at neighbor will lose ground.
• He who live in glass house better dress in basement.
• War no determines who is right. Determines who is left.
• Man who sit on tack get point.
• He who laugh last not get joke.
• The early worm catch fish.
• When you angry at neighbor, walk a mile in his shoes. Then you be a mile away from him, and you have new shoes.
• Crowded elevator smell different to midget.
• Passionate kiss like spider's web. Soon lead to undoing of fly.
• Man who run in front of car get tired.
• Man who run in back of car get exhausted.
• Man with hand in pocket feel cocky.
• Man who scratches butt should not bite fingernails.
• Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
• Pregnancy happen when woman take seriously something poked in fun.
• House without toilet uncanny.
• Man who cut self while shaving lose face.
• Man who fart in church sit in own pew.

See? I bet you feel smarter already.

Until next time, take care of yourselves. And each other.