Friday, October 9, 2020

A Salute and a Toot to Sophisticated Humor

After being such a barely there blogger for the past few months, I'm kinda late to the game. You guys got a big ol' fat head start on me, but I'm only just now beginning to "appreciate" the "new and improved" version of Blogger that's been foisted upon us by the mighty blogging powers that be. (Yippee, huh?) Turned out, I freaked out over nothing. Yeah, the draft of this old post looked weird... I mean, the html coding showed in lieu of the pics and videos that were in the earlier post... but that was it. Much to my delight, everything re-appeared like magic once I hit the preview button. So not a big deal. But even if it had been, it would've totally been worth it. See, my wonderful son-in-law is verrrry musically talented (in oh-so many ways) and I simply HAD to rerun this oldie-but-goodie "just for him." And for you guys, too, of course. I mean, we ALL need to lighten up and laugh, right? (Right!)

Thought for the day:  Beans, beans, the musical fruit; the more you eat, the more you toot. The more you toot, the better you'll feel, so beans, beans for every meal!

Nope; it wasn't ME!
Have you ever wondered what makes something funny? What makes one person laugh uproariously at a comedian, while the next holds his nose and says the routine stinks?  I mean, we all laugh at something. Even little babies laugh.

Music and laughter ... universal languages. Is there anything better than the sound of a baby's unbridled belly laugh? That in itself sounds like the sweetest music, doesn't it? So we cross our eyes, stick out our tongues, and make all kinds of faces at babies. We tickle their chubby little bellies, make utter fools out of ourselves, and generate weird noises... all in the hopes of getting to hear their precious laughter.

And what, I ask you, does almost every baby in the world think is funny?







                                    Apparently, they're partial to... farts ... those musical toots.

Please don't think lesser of me, but (shhh!) so am I. There must be something wrong with me. Maybe a twisted kink in my DNA helix has stunted my maturation process. That would explain it. Why else would a woman my age still think flatulence is so darned funny?

I know. Embarrassing, isn't it?

What three qualities matter most to you in the people you hang around with? For me, it'd have to be kindness, intelligence, and a good sense of humor. But lately, I've begun to question the quality of my sense of humor, because I must admit, few things are off-limits when it comes to cracking a joke or twisting words into a groan-worthy pun, and it doesn't take much to make me laugh.

Like last week. While talking to a  gastroenterologist's appointment nurse on the phone, I asked her where I should report. Upstairs, where my regular doc saw patients? No, I was to go downstairs. "Figures," I said. "In the bowels of the building." Nothing. (Tough audience.) So I apologized, and said she must hear that all the time. Nope. I was the first. See? Sick sense of humor.

Then there was the time Smarticus came home from a hunting trip and told me about a harrowing experience he'd had after one of the other fellas fell out of a tree stand. While driving his friend to the hospital, my poor hapless hubby looked out his truck window and saw a wheel roll past... HIS wheel. Needless to say, he got everything fixed, and got the guy to the hospital okay, but what would YOU have said to him under the circumstances? Me? I sang. Uh-huh. I sang, You picked a fine time to leave me, loose wheel ...  See? Sick, sick, sick.  But not as sick as my penchant for potty humor.

Years ago, when our daughter was about eleven, she ... how shall I say this ... cut the cheese in church. Not noisily, mind you, but with an exuberant and lingering bouquet. Most normal mothers would have scolded her for not saving her stink for the bathroom, or at least given her a suitably disapproving look. Not me. I leaned over and whispered, "Gives a whole new meaning to church pew, huh?"

Fortunately, we weren't asked to vacate the premises.

This is an ACTUAL musical!
But I can't help it. I think the sounds of  flatulence are absolutely hysterical.

Call me gauche, but the very idea of a musical about a man's fartistic abilities strikes me as fall-down-on-the-floor funny. (I mean, really! Can you imagine a man on stage tooting his arse  like a trumpet?)
But I'm not kidding! 'Twas an honest-to-goodness off-Broadway play intended to delight all lovers of potty humor and "pull my finger" shenanigans. Entitled The Fartiste, this play, based on fart artist (I kid you not!) Joseph Pujol, a 19th century Moulin Rouge tooting star, blasted its way to some great reviews and thunderous applause. Pujol had the unusual ability to suck air in through his anus, and then blow it out again, which enabled him to use his posterior portal to tootle tunes on a trumpet, emulate the sounds of thunder and ripping fabric, and even to blow out the theater's gas jet lights. What can I say? From what I've read about it, the play didn't stink.




                                         






  Can you watch this video without laughing? I can't.






A few years ago, Smarticus and I saw two boys in a Dollar Store aisle playing with Whoopee cushions they'd pulled off the shelf. The more rude noises they squeezed out, the more they laughed. Um, me too. Matter of fact, I just HAD to get me one of those things. For one of our grandsons, of course. Didn't mean I couldn't entertain myself by squeezing it as we went through the store. (WHAT? I had to make sure it worked, didn't I?) Anyhow, the intended recipient of the grand gift didn't enjoy it nearly as much as his younger siblings. Especially the twenty-month-old, who would squeeze out a good one, wrinkle his nose, and say, "EWWWWW! Schtinky!" Then he'd laugh hysterically. Um, me too.

It was about then I began to wonder if some aspects of my humor weren't a tad juvenile. I mean, laughing at the same thing a twenty-month-old found amusing? The same thing that makes babies all over the world laugh?

But, as it turns out, I'm not alone. That book on the right? Belongs to my husband. One of our grandsons picked it out for him. The shameful truth is ... our whole family cracks up at bathroom humor.

And we aren't the only ones. The reason for this, I don't know, but many people find flatulence hilarious. Not burps, or hiccoughs, or sneezes ... just poots.










Smarticus once emailed me a newspaper article about a little girl who won a speech contest with her speech about ... you guessed it ... farts. I even read an article in a scientific journal about a medical researcher whose major focus is studying ... you guessed it ...  farts. (Guess his lab is in the bowels of the building too, eh?) Sorry. And another about an Australian study to determine whether pooting in the O.R. could contaminate the field of operation. The conclusion? There's a minute possibility, but only if the perpetrator is naked and taking direct aim at the surgical site. But, don't worry about your surgeon eating beans. According to the study, flatus germs are as benign as the bacteria in your yogurt. Both of these article, I must say, although reporting on the results of serious studies, (or as serious as studies in this particular field can be) were full of puns, innuendos, and fart jokes. Y'know, like something I would've written.

                                                               Kinda made me proud.


So, um bottom line, maybe I'm okay after all. Right. I'm a mature sophisticated woman. (Shut up. This is MY fantasy.) And maybe I'm not the only one with an inner child squealing I don't wanta pull your finger.



So, how's the wind blow with you? Fart jokes crack you up, too, or do they just plain stink?  And what's the most inappropriate thing you've ever said or done in the name of humor? Come on. You can tell me ...

                                There was an old fellow named Clyde
                                Who fell into an outhouse and died.
                                One day, his brother
                                Fell into another,
                                And now they're in-turd side by side.


                                 Until next time, take care of yourselves. And each other.




51 comments:

  1. Did you notice that the older women in that video clip smiled? And quite a lot of people started covering their noses and fanning the air - without evidence.
    In my book laughter NEVER goes astray (with the exception of the cruel kind).
    Loving to see you back, and that your sense of humour remains. A sense of humour I think is at least as integral as your skeleton.

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    1. Yeah, I did notice that. The whole reacting to the imagined smell stuff tickled my funny bone the most, though. (Silly people!)

      Agreed. I feel sorry for people who are so uptight, they can't appreciate the funny side of life.

      Take care, and have a super weekend.

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  2. Thanks for the smiles. I taught at various schools for 35 years, and then worked in an old people's home for 9.....You can guess what I always got a lot of! Great to see you posting, have a good day, hugs, Valerie

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    1. Oh, yeah... I can just "imagine." HA

      You have a great day, too. Hugs back atcha.

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  3. I watched that woman farting video and was surprised at how many people automatically blocked their noses or fanned the air in front of them, when there was clearly no 'fragrance'.

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    1. I know! Isn't that a hoot??? Maybe we all react like that to some things... we react to what we "expect" rather than what is real.

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  4. I had a dog once that farted so loud she'd scare herself. She never caught on. She lived for 17 years and every time she farted, she'd spin and look behind her like=- "who the hell did that?"

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    1. HA! We've had dogs like that, too. My grandmother's boxers were the absolute "best" gad-generators. They could clear a room in five seconds flat...

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  5. Windbreakers would've been a better movie.
    It's like seeing someone get hit in the nuts. Both painful and hilarious at the same time.

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    1. You may be right. It could be an elongated version of that oh-so-memorable scene in "Blazing Saddles"...

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  6. I grew up in a household where bodily functions were frowned upon and never, never spoken about. If nature happened, we were chastised. My mother would always remind us that we were “Lace Curtain Irish”. I never remember my dad ever even burping. Needless to say, we all had big stomach problems. I married a Polish man, and found out about bodily functions, relief, and finding laughter in the natural way of things. All my children can burp the alphabet and they all got dogs to blame their flatulence on.

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    1. HA! Are you insinuating that Polish people are more... um... open... with their bodily functions? Must be all that kielbasa, sauerkraut, and beer... (Then again. my Scottish father was no slouch, either...)

      Your kids sound a lot like... my kids. :)

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  7. Juvenile but still really funny. I used to work with someone who thought it was the most disgusting thing in the world. No one was allowed to fart in her house and she swore she never passed gas. Yeah, right!

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    1. Juvenile? Okay, I concede the point. Maybe that's why I've always gotten along so well with kids. I never quite grew up.

      Your former co-worker sounds like a piece of work. (And seriously anal-retentive, in more ways than one.)

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  8. Joseph Pujol was professionally known as 'Le Pétomane'. I've seen that play and it is good.
    Your tale about the wheel coming off the car reminded me of a story from some years ago. Apparently a man was itting on the toilet having a smoke and he threw the dog-end into the bowl which had recently been cleaned with some proprietary product. It ignited and the guy got burned in a rather delicate place. It seems that while he was being carried downstairs, he related the story to the medics, who laughed so much they dropped the stretcher and he broke his leg....
    CLICK HERE for Bazza’s justly jocular Blog ‘To Discover Ice’

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    1. You SAW the play??? Ooooh, I am so jealous! :)

      I remember reading of a similar story, and I thought it was hilarious. The poor guy. Talk about bad luck.

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  9. 'itting' should be sitting (what were you thinking...?)

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  10. How my father and his brother would have delighted in this! Despite being 'Preacher's Kids' they delighted until old age in the study of farts. In fact, my son's now the proud(?) owner of my father's book about that Moulin Rouge performer Le Petomane.
    Do you have an Alexa, by chance? Ask her to fart. It's a panic!

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    1. How neat that your son has that book! Nope, no Alexa here. I'll have to tell my kids to give her the command, though. They'd love it, and no doubt, the grands will, too. Maybe too much... they'd be telling her to fart all the time... heh heh. :)

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  11. Hi Susan, thanks for the ape image I've been searching unsuccessfully for that for a while for memes.

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  12. Oh I agree laughter is the best medicine and we have two find the humor in life where we find it. My grandchildren used to entertain us by holding their hands under their armpits and by moving there elbows up and down made the sound of farts. They'd laugh and so would we. Laugh when you can and keep the humor in your life. It heals a lot of ails.

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    1. Yes, laughter's a necessity for me. I don't know how people can survive without embracing the funny side of life, especially now, when there are so many scary things going on in the world.

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  13. So I'm guessing that campfire scene in "Blazing Saddles" was a big hit, then? :)

    BTW - in Blogger always had the option to switch between HTML and normal view. But with the "new improved" interface they replaced nice big obvious buttons with an almost invisible drop down button on the far left where you can still switch to "compose" view. I have to hunt around for it every time.

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    1. But of course! We all LOVE that scene in "Blazing Saddles." :)

      Thanks for the tip for that compose button. That'll make it a lot simpler to finish writing a post I started a couple weeks ago,

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  14. Blazing Saddles is the leader of all fart humor - classic. I grew up on a household that was not big on fart humor. But I married a Farticus - between him and the boys...oh my goodness. So, it's a mix - I can tolerate it, but generally choose to not go that direction. Glad you did conquer new blogger. I didn't think it was too bad and I'm a computer mess. Take care! And stock up on air freshener!

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    1. "Blazing Saddles" validated those of us who have always appreciated fart humor. :)

      It's practically a given that if you spend any time around boys, (and most adult boys, as well) you WILL be exposed to fart sounds, smells, and snickering. I think it's in their DNA...

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  15. Farts are funny and deserve our celebrations :-) You are going to appreciate this year's Halloween story [no further spoilers - and don't worry the novel writing is still ongoing :-)] I think your grandchildren will like it too. I know mine will! Sending you love and laughter from Cornwall xx

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    1. HA! Well, I dunno about the "celebrating" part, but yeah, there's no reason not to laugh at things like rude noises. I mean, they're funny!!!!

      I have no doubts about appreciating your Halloween story. I always do. :)

      Sending lots of love and laughter right back atcha.

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  16. I'm not above any humor when it comes to farts, or much anything else haha I tend to be a bad influence on the kiddos, but meh. Bowels of the building was a good one. Yeah, the new blogger is a pain in the butt, and they probably track everything but what's up there.

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    1. Yeah, that's me, too. I'm not "above" any kind of humor, either. Wait. No, that's not entirely correct... I loathe cruel-spirited "humor" that targets individuals or groups of people.

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  17. I could not watch the video without laughing, lol. It was even funnier because she was dressed like a business woman. Gonna show my son that one. He'll get a kick out of it too. :)

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    1. HA! Yeah, she "looks" so business-like...

      I hope the video makes your son giggle. :)

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    2. Well, darn. For some reason, I can't access your blog. :(

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  18. Potty humor can definitely gets the belly laugh, every time. We've gotten to the age where it's not as easy to hide. Two old folks after a big meal, it's almost a contest, or as my husband now calls it, which never fails to raise the laughter - a mating call.
    Thrilled to see you back! Thanks for the laughter!

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    1. Not as easy to hide? You mean some young men actually TRY to hide their gas issues? Nah! Most of the young (and old, come to think of it) men I know follow Ben Franklin's advise and "Fart proudly." Maybe genteel older ladies are just catching up... ?

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  19. Thank you for two wonderful chuckles. No, sorry, out and out laughs! The baby video and the whoopee cushion video had me howling.

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  20. I'll admit that the sound of farts is funny, it's the smell I object to, especially when in an enclosed space like the car for example. Love the whoopee cushion trick; that was hilarious!

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    1. Yeah, I don't think anyone's a fan of the smell, but when it's bad enough, that in itself is due cause for more laughter.

      I'm glad you liked the video. :)

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  21. Hi Susan, I’m still laughing at, “You picked a fine time to leave me loose wheel!” One of the reasons I’ve always liked you, is because we share the same silly sense of humor. How dare that nurse not appreciate your “bowels of the building” joke. Some of my favorite movies like Blazing Saddles have classic potty humor scenes that get me every time. This was fun! Hope you’re holding up okay, my friend!

    Julie

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    1. SillY? Silly you say??? No, no, no, my dear, our humor is sublimely sophisticated. (That's my story, and I'm sticking to it!)

      Doing okayest here. I hope you're doing the same.

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  22. Hi Susan - those are great youtube funs! Fart humour, toilet humour ... all engender hilarity (good word for me!) ... my Ma when she was in hospital or the nursing centre often had hysterics as we goaded each other on ... the nurses came flying to check what was happening - we provided entertainment for all and sundry!

    I do remember getting my brothers into total giggles in the middle of a very post dining room in Switzerland and causing strife ... sad but true.

    Love the post - and great to see you around ... bowels and all - take care and loved the fart kid!! Stay safe - Hilary

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    1. Hi-ya, Hilary. Providing entertainment for all and sundry is a great way to be. "Make 'em laugh, make 'em laugh, make 'em laugh!"

      You take care and stay safe, too.

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  23. Dear Susan, I loved the video too. It is certainly a work of fart.

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    1. Dear Geo. I'm glad to hear that. Yes, yes it is. Ya made me laugh, dude. :) (Thanks.)

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  24. OMG! So hilarious! I chuckled right through this post!

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