I'm the product of a mixed marriage. Surprised? You shouldn't be. In today's world, there are a lot of people like me. (Confused.)
Oh, not really. I have my own mind, so I was never really pulled to the left, right, or straight ahead by my parents. They pretty much let me find my own path.
(Shhhhh) The mixed marriage secret of my past is ...
My mother was a longtime Democrat. |
And my father ...
registered as a Republican because he liked cowboys. |
True story. He didn't bother voting until Ronald Reagan (the Cowboy!) ran for president.
So, as the product of a mixed political heritage, I'd like to poke a bit of fun at BOTH sides. Ready? Let's stick our tongues firmly in cheeks and take a light-hearted look at how each side celebrates Christmas, shall we?
- Republicans say, "Merry Christmas!" Democrats say, "Happy Holidays!"
- Republicans help the poor by sending $50 to the Salvation Army. Democrats help by giving $50, one buck at a time, to panhandlers on the street.
- Democrats get back at Republicans on their Christmas lists by giving them funky fruitcakes, which Republicans re-wrap and give to their in-laws.
- Democrats let their kids open all their gifts on Christmas Eve. Republicans make them wait until Christmas morning.
- When toasting the holidays, Republicans ask for eggnog or mulled wine. Democrats ask for a beer.
- In addition to shopping in stores, Republicans shop from a catalog. Democrats watch for "incredible buys" on late night television.
- Democrats do much of their shopping at Target and Walmart. So do Republicans, but they don't admit it.
- Republican parents have no problem buying toy guns for their kids. Democrats refuse to do so. That's why their kids pretend to shoot each other with dolls.
- Democrats spend hundreds of dollars and hours of work decorating the yard with outdoor lights and Christmas displays. Republicans drive around at night to look at other people's displays.
- Democrats' favorite Christmas movie is Miracle on 34th Street. Republicans' favorite is Die Hard.
- Democrats always take the price tag off expensive gifts before wrapping. Republicans also remove price tags from pricey gifts --- and re-position them to make sure they're seen.
- During this festive time of year, Democrats wear wide red ties and green sports jackets. Republicans wear them all year long.
- Most Republicans try enclosing indulgent, maudlin form letters about their perfect, over-achieving families in their Christmas cards. However, public ridicule from Democrats usually discourages them from doing it again.
- Democrats' favorite Christmas carol is Deck the Halls. Republicans' favorite carol is White Christmas.
- Republicans see nothing wrong with letting their kids play cowboys and Indians. The Democrats don't either, as long as the Indians win once in a while.
- Republicans first began thinking like Republicans when they stopped believing in Santa Claus. Democrats became Democrats because they never stopped believing in Santa Claus.
- Democrat men like to watch football while the women fix holiday meals. On this, Republicans are in full agreement.
Whichever side of the political teeter-totter suits you best, always keep your sense of humor, and your wits about you. In today's world, we all need both.
As for those uber-partisan politicians huddling on the extreme edges of that see-saw?
I wish they'd move a little closer, and learn to get along. |
Until next time, take care of yourselves. And each other.
Great stuff!
ReplyDeleteDemocrats ask for a beer.
That would be me.
Pretty funny stuff! Except I would have said Republicans ask for beer, since in my neck of the woods hunters and fishermen all tend to be Republicans.
ReplyDeleteDemocrats make fancy martinis, mojitos, and margaritas with lots of colorful liqueurs. :)
I'm the product of a mixed marriage too; my father was male, and my mother female.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the smiles.
ReplyDeleteBTW, the squirrels should not be kissing each other--it's that kind of thing that's causing trouble in our attic. :)
Figures they'd agree on who does the cooking...devils!!
ReplyDeleteWell... what would you call someone who drinks martinis but supports Greenpeace?
ReplyDeleteCrap, you just reminded me all those political commercials are about to hit the air again. Time to lose the remote behind the couch again.
ReplyDeleteHa! According to these criteria, I'm equal parts Democrat and Republican. Guess that makes me an Independent. :)
ReplyDeleteReally cute post, thanks! Maybe it's the part of the country, tho, because Republicans around me overwhelmingly prefer beer. Actually, I'm an Independent who's grown tired of the circus out there.
ReplyDeleteThat's just about right! However, I don't drink beer.
ReplyDeleteFun and good humor but in truth I guess we all take our politics to the edge when challenged. Thanks for making it light.
ReplyDeleteFunny, we both kind of wrote political posts today. We live parallel lives...
ReplyDeleteHi, y'all. Thank you so much for your comments. It's been a busy day, but it looks like there's just enough time to squeeze in some responses here before getting out in that kitchen to rattle them pots and pans.
ReplyDeleteBeach Bum- Not always a good indicator. My hubby loves beer, and I loathe it, but that's all bass ackwards when it comes to our political views.
Dianne- I'll have a mojita, thanks, but would prefer good ol' bourbon or a glass of wine. Or better yet, a cup of tea. (I'm very boring.)
Cro- Mais out! Et vive la difference!
Connie- No worries. This is a PG rated blog, so those squirrels are only gonna smooch.
Delores- Thought you'd pick up on that!
Mr. C- A free-thinking independent?
L.G.- Yeah, won't be long before network TV will be a verbal battleground again. Thank goodness for the history and discovery channels.
Linda- Independent is good! Too bad more politicians aren't. Independent, that is. (AND good.)
Kittie- Could be a lot of Americans drink beer, period. Not me. Never developed the taste for it, and I've definitely lost my taste for uber-partisan politics.
Arleen- I'm telling ya ... separated at birth.
Manzie- You're right; a lot of people do take it to the edge when challenged, and that's a real shame. Used to be, people could discuss different opinions about politics in a civil manner, without resorting to name-calling and downright meanness.
Y'all take care. Time to go start dinner. (Go figure ... my better half still expects three meals a day... and every day, too!)
My parents were on different sides of the fence too - as were me and my husband when we were married.
ReplyDeleteNow my husband is a Democrat because the Republicans are just too nasty & screwed up at this point for him to even consider voting for one of them.
Hi, Skippy. Alas, my better half is still dug in on the dark side of the fence. Glad to hear yours has jumped sides, though ... maybe there's hope for mine, yet, huh?
ReplyDeleteTake care.