Duck Races, Doggie Trysts, and Aliens

Thought for the day: Contrary to popular opinion, Americans do NOT need a passport to visit New Mexico.

Here we go, back to our Yammy Fridays, as Laura likes to call 'em. Gonna shoot for every other week, I think, and we'll kick off with the next state on our alphabetical list... New Mexico, a place where  (shhhh) you can ... really get high. Matter of fact, at 7000 feet above sea level, the state capital, Sante Fe, is the highest in the country. Yup, this state is truly high and dry. Lakes and rivers only make up .002% of the state's total surface area. You ask, how dry is it? It's sooooo dry, 75% of the roads are unpaved. (No danger of roads washing away.)

As anyone who's followed the news about recent wild fires already knows, this state has a LOT of trees. A quarter of the state is covered with them, including seven national forests, the largest of which covers 3.3 million acres. Unfortunately, all those trees, coupled with dry conditions, equates to a long history of forest fires. In 1950, a bear cub found trapped in a tree after one of those fires became the iconic symbol for fire safety. Perhaps you've seen him before... he's known as Smokey the Bear.

If ya think about it, New Mexico has a split personality. Arrowheads ten thousand years old can be found on the same desert grounds where today's space age missiles are tested. The same state which hosts the International Space Hall of Fame also contains more than twenty-five thousand archeological sites and fourteen million acres of Navajo Indian reservations. State-of-the-art space age research is conducted by some of the most brilliant minds in the world, but the state residents aren't too stuffy to enjoy a festival celebrating the building (and eating!) of the world's largest enchilada, or to hosting duck races and World Shovel Racing Championships. See? Split personality. Which, in my opinion, makes the state all that much more interesting. 


Okay, enough babbling. How about some pictures?

This is the Palace of Governors, built in 1610, and located in Sante Fe. Not sure why it's referred to as a palace, but it IS one of the oldest public buildings in the country. Interesting facts: by its constitution, New Mexico has two official languages. Also, to go along with that,  two separate state songs, one in English, and the other in Spanish. (See? Split personality!)

The word Pueblo is used to describe a group of people, a town, and an architectural style. There are nineteen different groups, or tribes, of Pueblo Indians living in New Mexico, who speak four distinct languages. These mostly agrarian people have lived in their current locations longer than any other cultures in the nation. At left is a typical pueblo structure.

Thousands of bats call Carlsbad Caverns home. Don't let that keep you away, though. There's plenty of room left for visitors. The largest chamber in the caverns is more than ten football fields long, and twenty-two stories high. (Um, but better wear a hat.  And boots. All that guano has to go somewhere ...)








                                         INTERMISSION! Wanta see some ducks race?

                                        Deming, New Mexico hosts these duck races every year.

On July 16, 1945, the world's first atomic bomb, designed and manufactured in Los Alamos, was detonated at the nearby White Sands Testing Range.

The sands of White Sands National Monument really ARE white. But they aren't actually SAND. Would you believe the massive desert is comprised of gleaming white gypsum crystals?

Not much rain splashes DOWN here, but every year, some gorgeous splashes of color go UP. Each October, Albuquerque hosts the world's largest hot air balloon fiesta, and hundreds of balloonists from all over the world participate.

We can't discuss New Mexico without mentioning the mysterious 1947 UFO incident in Roswell. First report at the time mentioned a strange "saucer" that had crashed. The next day, the crash was purported to be an errant weather balloon. Even so, rumors and questions about the incident, and the alleged secret dissection of aliens have persisted over the years. The people of Roswell know how to capitalize on the lingering interest, as evidenced by the UFO Museum right in the middle of town.



Okay, time to move on and see if the fine state of New Mexico is harboring any weird laws on their books. (In English AND Spanish!)

• It's against the law for idiots to vote. (Who gets to judge?)
• It's illegal to dance around a sombrero. (Guess they have to do the Mexican hat dance around a beanie, huh?)
• State officials ordered four hundred words of sexually explicit material to be cut from Romeo and Juliet. (Yipes! No shades of gray there, huh?)
• In Carrizozo, it's illegal for a female to go out in public unshaven. (Don't worry, ladies; those lovely locks on your head are safe. But the hairy legs and mustaches have got to GO!)
• In Deming, home of the fun duck races, it's against the law to spit on the steps of the opera house. (If ya don't like their presentation of The Ugly Duckling, you'll simply have to find some other way to express your displeasure.)
• It's also illegal in Deming to hunt in the Mountain View Cemetery. (Probably don't stand a ghost of a chance of bagging anything lively there, anyhow.)
• In Los Cruces, you're either gonna have to hide your favorite Lone Ranger lunch box, or stick to the back roads. It's against the law there to carry a lunch box down Main Street.
• And last, in Raton, it's illegal for a woman to ride a horse down a public street while wearing a kimono. (No problem. By golly, go Godiva!)

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And now, the moment you've all been waiting for. Time for (ta-DA!)

The Weirdest News Stories of the Week

***  We all love our pets, but what do you do for your dog when he needs a little extra pampering, or when's he's feeling a little (ahem) amorous? Do you make your mutt muddle through on his own, hopping fences and running the neighborhood in search of l'amour, rutting around in the back yard like an ... animal... desperately humping your next door neighbor's leg? There IS another way. If you happen to live in Brazil. Fabiano Lourdes and his sister Daniela are opening Animalle Mundo Pet in Belo Horizonte this week, an eight-story, one-million dollar enterprise with, among other things, an entire floor dedicated to ... doggie trysts. Soon, for the mere sum of fifty dollars, you can provide your four-legged Romeo with a dimly-lit room with red cushions on the floor and a heart-shaped mirror on the ceiling. But, wait! There's MORE! This pet love hotel also offers a canine fitness center, and special party rooms, where your favorite pooch can celebrate his birthday in style. Oh yeah, and a gift shop, too, offering such memorable trinkets as a thousand-dollar Swarovski crystal dog collar. Wow. Sure gives a whole new meaning to going to the dogs, doesn't it?

***  It's possible that Triberg, Germany Mayor Gallus Strobel was only trying to drum up a little publicity for his town, but whatever his motives, he's getting it. It seems the spaces in a new car park there are designated as being either male or female. The spots are spacious and well-lit for the women, and a bit more challenging for the men: smaller, not nearly as well-lit, and located near concrete pillars. Plus, the only way to get into those male slots is by backing into them. The mayor doesn't understand all the hoopla. He says it was a natural decision, because, "men are better at parking than women". I'm sure the women in his little town don't mind. Nope, they don't mind a bit ...

***  I dunno. Maybe she asked for a divorce seventy-five years ago, and he just wasn't listening? Maybe he chewed with his mouth open, or kept pooping all over the floor. Heck, maybe he was just too damned slow for her. Whatever the reason, after 115 years together, giant tortoise Bibi was evidently DONE with her longtime mate Poldi. She ran (?) after him, and bit off a chunk of his shell. Zookeepers at the Austrian zoo, shocked by the unprecedented behavior, said, "We get the feeling they can't stand the sight of each other any more." So after just a mere115 years of turtle love, the mister has moved out to his own bachelor cage. Such is life in a fishbowl... or turtle cage. Hmmm, I wonder if they had a prenup-shell agreement?

                                      Until next time, take care of yourselves. And each other.