There Ya Gogh!

Thought for the day:   It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs, because they always take things literally. 

gullible me, second grade

I've always been gullible, but I'm in recovery stage. Used to be, I believed anything anyone cared to tell me. I mean, why would anyone lie to me, right? One fella we know turned out to be a pathological liar, and he used to tell me some reeeeeal whoppers about his so-called adventures. Smarticus knew he was full of it, and so did most of our friends, but this guy loved to corner me at parties so he could bend my ear with his outrageous tales, because I always swallowed his stories hook, line, and sinker. Periodically, he'd turn to his wife and say, "Ain't that right, babe?" to which she dutifully provided his desired, "Yes, dear" response. (If I'd paid closer attention, I might have noticed her eyes rolling...)

I eventually caught on to the improbability of the things this guy was telling me and learned to steer clear of him, but as a child, I was definitely fair game for the things various family members told me in jest, especially my mother and Aunt Myrtle.

Two jokes they got me with involved names on  mailboxes. The last name? Bean. As we drove past said Bean mailbox, which sat beside the road next to a farmer's field, my mother said, "I wonder how our old friend Lima is doing?" My aunt said, " I heard he and Pinto had a baby. Named her Navy." Me, wide-eyed in the back seat, said something like, " I didn't know you knew them..." Which, of course, spurred them to come up with more names.

The second name that inspired them to yank my chain was Road. Same thing, only this time we were walking in the Pocono Mountains area while on vacation. As I recall, they mentioned names like Tobacco and Dusty. To my credit, I caught on a little faster this time, and even added a couple names of my own.

Which may explain why they didn't pull that joke on me a third time.

Anyhow, I was reminded of those two memories by an email Smarticus sent me recently. It's a rather clever family tree list of names that I'm sure my mother and Aunt Myrt would have appreciated. I hope you do, too.

The fun family?

'Tis the hypothetical family tree of the great Vincent Van Gogh, pictured at right in his 1887 self-portrait.

By the way, you know why he was an artist?

(shhhh) I hear he needed the monet...

Talking about artists, (Weren't we?) what do you think Salvadore Dali's favorite breakfast was? A nice bowl of surreal, of course.

And what's a modern artist's favorite footwear? Sketchers!

Okay, I'll stop. Let's take a look at that whimsical family tree, shall we?

• First, there's his annoying brother... Please Gogh.
• His dizzy aunt... Verti Gogh.
• His prune-eating brother... Gotta Gogh
• His cousin who worked in a convenience store... Stop'n Gogh
• His Yugloslavian grandfather... U Gogh
• The distant cousin who bleached all of his clothes white... Hue Gogh
• The other cousin from Illinois... Chica Gogh
• His uncle, the magician... Wherediddy Gogh
• His Mexican cousin... Amee Gogh
• His Mexican cousin's American half-brother... Grin Gogh
• His nephew who drove a stagecoach... Wessfar Gogh
• His poor ol' constipated uncle... Cant Gogh (He should work something out with Gotta...)
• His ballroom-dancing aunt... Tan Gogh
• His bird-loving uncle... Flamin Gogh
• His psychoanalyst uncle... E Gogh
• The fruit-loving cousin... Man Gogh
• His postive-thinking aunt... Wayto Gogh
• His bouncy nephew... Po Gogh
• His disco-dancing sister... Go Gogh
• His niece who travels in an RV... Winnie Bay Gogh

                                       Can you think of any others to add?

Until next time, take care of yourselves. And each other.