Quitting is a No-Win Option

Thought for the day: Age wrinkles the body. Quitting wrinkles the soul. [Douglas MacArthur]

[image from Morguefile]

I did it. I wrote those two magical words at the bottom of my WIP, the words that turn writers into conquering heroes and make them feel like marching through the streets with a brass band while cheering fans shower them with tons of chocolate-flavored confetti: THE END!!!

(ahem) Unfortunately, I haven't actually finished writing the book; I just had an irrepressible urge to type those two too-wonderful words... (sigh)

I fully expected to be finished this first draft by now, but my characters are dragging their feet, and the book is running longer than I expected. The light is definitely shining at the end of the tunnel, though, and as best I can tell, it isn't an oncoming train. It's the actual end of the book. Soon. Surely, the THE END will be for real before next month's IWSG post. If not, maybe I should quit writing and take up sky diving.

Right. As you can tell, it's that time of the month again. On the first Wednesday of every month, members of the Insecure Writer's Support Group, founded by ninja writer Alex Cavanaugh, blog about the ups and downs of writing. Within this worldwide group of writers resides an endless supply of support and understanding. Here, successes are celebrated, set-backs are commiserated, and the encouragement to keep on keeping on is ever-present.

If you'd like to join this fine group, or if you'd like to follow the links to find other posts, please go HERE

Now then, on to this month's question: Did you ever say 'I quit'? If so, what happened to make you come back to writing?

Hmmmmph. I'm not a quitter. I might stop doing something for a while, but I'm not a quitter. I categorically refuse to say those words. It's all about attitude.

For example, when I was pregnant with our oldest child, I took a leave of absence from my job at the hospital. I never officially quit... I simply never went back. Seeing's as how we live in a different state and our son is about to turn forty-six, I don't think there's any need to tender a resignation. Therefore... my no-quitting designation is still good.

[image from Morguefile]

When it comes to writing, or any other pursuit, for that matter, I think of my interests as following a pleasant pattern of ebb and flow.  Just because I'm not doing something at this particular moment in my life doesn't mean I've quit doing it for good, or that I'll never do it again. (Who knows? Maybe I'll even take up macrame again someday...) Taking a break from something is not the same thing as quitting. I'm currently enjoying an 8-year break from smoking, but I dare not say I've quit. (Don't wanta jinx myself.)

So, to answer the question, NO, I have never said I quit, and I've never quit writing. It may have been put on the back burner a time or two, but it has never ever been taken off the stove altogether. I mean, I can hold my breath for a little while, too, but that doesn't mean I plan to quit breathing. Not yet, anyway. I still have a book to finish. The next time I write this glorious word at the bottom of my manuscript, it's gonna be for REAL.

[image from morguefile]

                                    Until next time, take care of yourselves. And each other.  

                            

Lessons from a Butterfly

Thought for the day: What a caterpillar calls the end of the world the master calls a butterfly. [Richard Bach]

[image by Leonard Chapel]

Most of us have seen monarch butterflies, but have you ever seen a monarch caterpillar? Its colors are so pretty, it's easy to imagine what a big beautiful butterfly he'll be one day, isn't it?

If he's lucky.

Not all butterflies are.



Time for a story...

Once upon a time, a very well-meaning lady with a loving heart was taking a hike through the woods, when she came upon a butterfly cocoon that was about to open.

"How lovely!" she exclaimed, clapping her hands in delight. "I'll stay and watch."

Breathlessly, she watched as a tiny hole finally appeared in the cocoon, and then for hours, she continued to watch as the butterfly struggled to force its body through that tiny hole.

Then, as though it were too exhausted to continue any longer, the butterfly stopped struggling and just sat in its cocoon, motionless.

"Oh, no," the well-meaning lady with the kind heart said. "I've got to help him!"

So she pulled out her pocketknife and ever-so-carefully enlarged the opening in the cocoon.

Thanks to her help, the exhausted butterfly easily emerged, but its body was small and withered, and its wings were shriveled.

The well-meaning lady with the kind heart continued to watch the butterfly, anxiously waiting for its big beautiful wings to flutter open and expand.

But they never did.

The butterfly lived out his life with a withered body and shriveled wings. Its wings never grew strong enough to support the weight of his body... and he never flew.

See, the struggle to emerge from a cocoon is necessary for a butterfly's development. Squeezing through a tiny opening forces the fluid out of its body and into its wings, making them strong and ready for flight.

Without completing that struggle, the butterfly can't fly.

You see what I'm getting at? The moral of the story? The lessons to be learned? Two things. First, before we impose our well-meaning help on another creature or person, we should know that our help is genuinely needed and/or wanted. Sometimes, the kindest thing... and the hardest thing...we can do is to stand by and offer support, while our friend overcomes his challenges on his own. And second, like butterflies, there are times we, too, have to struggle through some really tight spots in our lives. But don't give up, and don't lose heart, because determination in the face of obstacles strengthens us, and conquering those obstacles allows us to fly. It's still a good thing to offer a lift or welcome resting place to butterflies and our other friends when they need it... and to enjoy their visits and companionship... even if they do occasionally poop on your head. In the end, we all... both butterflies and people... want to live up to our potential. We want to fulfill our destinies... and we want to soar as high as our wings... and our dreams... can take us.                           Until next time, take care of yourselves. And each other.

Remembering and Remembrance

Thought for the day: Being kind is more important than being right.

I read somewhere that the original reason women carried bouquets of flowers during their wedding ceremonies was to mask unpleasant body odors. Not a terribly romantic notion, but in those days, I reckon bathing was about as rare as a martini bar in the middle of the Sahara.

Still, for whatever reason the tradition started, most brides still carry flowers, no matter how large or small their ceremony may be. Heck, flowers play a part in lots of different occasions.

Like poppies.

Since Lt. Col. John McCrae penned the poem In Flanders Field on May 3, 1915 from a WWI battlefield in Belgium, the poppy has been a symbol of remembrance and is closely associated with Memorial Day and Veterans Day. Today is our country's first National Poppy Day, and going forward, the Friday before Memorial Day will continue to carry this designation. Ever wonder about the significance of the red crepe paper poppies made and distributed to the public by veterans every year? The red represents the blood of those who gave their lives; the black represents mourning; and the green leaf represents regrowth following the devastation of war. Did you know there's even a correct way to wear a remembrance poppy? It should be worn on the left side, closest to the heart, with the leaf positioned at the 11:00 position, in honor of the 11th hour, 11th day, 11th month ending of WWI.

I only intended to write a short intro before sharing the following anniversary re-run, but I guess I got carried away. This past Wednesday was our 48th wedding anniversary, and next Monday is Memorial Day, so this post is in honor of both those occasions. I will always remember our wedding, and we all must honor and have remembrance for those who made the supreme sacrifice. Freedom is not free.

The following was originally posted on May 24, 2013, with the title Still Celebrating. 

It'll probably take me a little longer than usual to respond to your comments, because, ya know, our celebration continues... Forty-eight years. Life is good.

                       Until next time, take care of yourselves. And each other.

*********************************

Thought for the day:  Our wedding was many years ago. The celebration continues to this day. [Gene Perret]

Yeah, our wedding was a few years ago.

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.  [Rita Rudner]

Lucky me, I found that one special person at a very young age, and have been annoying the crap out of him ever since. Met him at the scabby-kneed age of twelve. (And married him anyway!) Okay, so we looked a little different when we got married in '69. Yeah, yeah, yeah...  he had hair... I had a waist. Lots of ups and downs since then, too, but one thing that hasn't changed? Our sense of humor. We're still laughing. Still working hard to pull the proverbial applecart in the same direction.

Still loving.

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.  [Mignon McLaughlin]

Of course, if you ask Smarticus how to make a marriage last, he'd probably say what he always says. He says the secret lies in him saying two simple words, whether he means 'em or not: Yes, dear. (He's kind of a smart ass.)

I say a successful marriage requires hardhats, because it's an ongoing project, and never really done. A successful marriage is an edifice that must be rebuilt every day.  [Andre Maurois]

Doggone it, there's no such thing as resting on your laurels when it comes to marriage, is there? Or as Smarticus says, "It only takes one aw sh*t to wipe out two attaboys." (Told ya he's a smart ass.)  Lily Tomlin expressed it a bit more delicately. She said, The road to success is always under construction.  
So maybe a successful marriage isn't something we ever achieve, but if you think about it, that's a good thing, because if we think we've already arrived, we may no longer strive.  Best to keep wearing those hardhats, to keep building that road to success, and to savor every bit of joy and humor we find along the way. Gotta have fun. Gotta laugh.

Talking about fun and laughter, remember Red Skelton? He was a very sweet, very mild-mannered PG-rated comedian. Anyway, he and his wife were married for many, many years, and here's his Recipe for the Perfect Marriage:

• Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, and I go on Fridays.
• We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California, and mine is in Texas.
• I take my wife everywhere ... but she keeps finding her way back.
• I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.
• We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
• She has an electric blender, electric toaster, and electric bread maker. She said, "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.
• My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was, and she told me, "In the lake."
• She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.
• She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!"
• Remember. Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
• I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
• I haven't spoken to my wife in eighteen months. I don't like to interrupt.
• The last fight was my fault, though. My wife asked, "What's on TV?" and I said, "Dust!"

No telling what we're gonna do over the weekend, but I know it'll be an adventure. When you're married to a smart ass, every day is.

A long marriage is two people trying to dance a duet and two solos at the same time.  [Anne Taylor Fleming]











                                     Until next time, take care of yourselves. And each other.

To those who died, honor and eternal rest; to those still in bondage, remembrance and hope; to those who returned, gratitude and peace.  [words engraved on the Illinois Vietnam veterans memorial]