No Fixing Needed Here, Ma'am

Thought for the day:  Asking a writer what he thinks about criticism is like asking a lamppost what it feels about dogs.  [John Osborne]

Shoo, dog, SHOO!

Can't do anything to relieve that lamppost's anxiety, but I can assure a certain writer that I've got absolutely no criticism for her debut novel. Nope. Not a bit. Doesn't need a bit of fixing. Matter of fact, if I were a dog, I'd be climbing that lamppost to howl her praises.

So, who am I talking about, you might ask?

None other than Linda Grimes.

Yep, that same Linda Grimes who's been keeping her followers in stitches on her Visiting Reality blog is launching what's sure to be an outstanding career with the upcoming release of her debut novel In a Fix. (And if you don't already read her blog, I highly recommend that you fix THAT!) It was a great honor to be one of the lucky In a Fix preview readers as the ARC (advance reader copy) has been making a whirlwind tour around the country before the book's (No... make that THE BOOK'S) official release on September fourth. (Oh, and here's a singing-her-praises shout-out to Karla, too, who's done such an outstanding job directing and obsessing (HA!) over the smooth execution of that tour.)

                                       Okay, how's about an official blurb to whet your appetite?

IN A FIX:
Snagging a marriage proposal for her client while on an all-expenses-paid vacation should be a simple job for Ciel Halligan, aura adaptor extraordinaire. A kind of human chameleon, she's able to take on her clients' appearances and slip seamlessly into their lives, solving any sticky problems they don't want to deal with themselves. No fuss, no muss. Big paycheck. This particular assignment is pretty enjoyable...that is, until Ciel's island resort bungalow is blown to smithereens and her client's about-to-be-fiance is snatched by modern-day Vikings. For some reason, Ciel begins to suspect that getting the ring is going to be a tad more difficult than originally anticipated. Going from romance to rescue requires some serious gear-shifting, as well as a little backup. Her best friend, Billy, and Mark, the CIA agent she's been crushing on for years - both skilled adaptors - step in to help, but their priority is, annoyingly, keeping her safe. Before long, Ciel is dedicating more energy to escaping their watchful eyes than she is to saving her client's intended. Suddenly, facing down a horde of Vikings feels like the least of her problems. 

Sound good??? Trust me, it IS. Best book I've read in a long time, and I read a LOT of books. Entertaining, funny, adventurous, and a teeny bit naughty, this is one of those easy reading books that's a sheer pleasure to read. I'm telling ya, Linda out-Evanoviches Evanovich. No kidding.

Now, how about a little Q&A session with our soon-to-be star?

1.  In a Fix defies traditional single-genre classification, and would feel equally at home shelved alongside fantasies, adventures, romances, or humor. (And maybe a few others.) Did agents and/or publishers balk at your pigeonhole-defiance and try to steer your focus toward a particular genre? Do you think the genre-crossing nature of your book will open it to a broader fanbase?

I wouldn't say agents and editors steered me to narrow the genre focus, precisely, though a number of agents didn't think they could sell it, and so declined to rep me. Even my agent, Michelle Wolfson (Wolfson Literary Agency), warned me that it might be tough to find a home for it, but she loved it and wanted to try. Who was I to deny her the opportunity? *grin*

She was right—plenty of editors liked it, but didn't think it fit in with what their houses were selling—but Michelle's persistence paid off when she sent it to Tor. They were willing to take a chance on light urban fantasy with hefty doses of romance and humor. Thank goodness, because I adore my editor (the amazing Melissa Frain) and love working with her.

I'm certainly hoping the book will appeal to readers of both urban fantasy and romance, because those genres have huge and loyal followings. Combining the readerships would be awesome. And if I catch some readers who just plain like to laugh, too…well, that would be a bonus.

2. How in the world did you come up with the concept of aura adapting? It's entirely new to me, but somehow, you made it not only plausible, but believable. (And fun!)

Thanks!

Honestly? I couldn't tell you exactly how it first came to me. When I saw the name "Ciel" on a license plate, the character popped into my head, and I just somehow knew she had the ability to look like anyone she wanted. I also knew she wasn't a shape-shifter in the traditional sense—that she didn't have to go through that arduous physical transformation. I thought to myself, she's dealing with projecting her energy—her aura. That's what she's changing.

I think it's plausible because on the subatomic level, all matter is basically energy. (Don't try to think about it too hard. Just get into the Zen of it. *grin*)

3. Let's talk research. Were any of the locations in your book based on places you've actually visited? And how about those neo-Vikings? 'Fess up. Relatives, right? (Or maybe a Neanderthal high school beau?)

I've visited Visby (Sweden) on several occasions, and I've always loved the medieval charm of the walled city. And, of course, I live right outside D.C., so that locale is familiar, too.

Re the Vikings: Ha! No comment.

Actually, all the Swedes I know personally are very civilized. Even the ones I'm related to. (I know! Hard to believe.) I did date one very tall, blond guy back in high school, but he was a pussy cat, so I don't think he counts as Neanderthal.

4. Whether intended or not, main characters very often reflect the personalities of their creators. So, creator, how is Ciel like you? And other than the whole kick-butt aura adapting stuff, how is she different?

I can't believe you're just assuming I can't adapt my aura.

(Oh, all right. I can't. But, dang, wouldn't that be cool?) 

Anyway, Ciel is kind of a smartass. I suppose there are those who might *cough* say the same about me. We're both quite independent by nature. We both LOVE Swedish pastries. Also, she has three brothers, and so do I.  

As for how Ciel and I are different … well, I'm tall, she's short. She tends to be more impulsive than I am. She's kind of torn between two lust interests, and I am strictly a one-man woman. (Of course, he's a Gemini, so maybe he counts as two guys…) Also, I have this thing for camels; she's not as fascinated with them.

5. What? With all the different (and I DO mean different) modes of transportation Ciel uses, both willingly and not-so-willingly, both classy and (ahem) crappy, there wasn't a single camel to be seen. Or ridden. What's up with that? Gonna rectify that grave oversight in future books?

See above. *grin* As for future books … well, seeing Ciel on a camel certainly isn't out of the realm of possibility. In fact, given the way she seems to be a magnet for odd situations, I'd say it's quite likely.

6. What's next? When can we expect the release of Ciel's next adventure?

Quick Fix is due out next July, so get ready for more wackiness!

7. Anything else you'd like to add? (i.e. Here's where you get to answer the question you wish I would've asked.)

Hmm. I'd like to add a bit about the stress of dealing with the sudden wealth that comes with being a published author—you know, the second and third homes, the cabana boys and live-in maids, the research assistants … but, alas, it would be a bigger fantasy than my books. ;)

***

I'm telling ya, this book is as good as a great big bowl of ooey gooey chocolate dessert. Not convinced yet? How's about a big dollop of fresh whipped cream on top? Check out this kick-butt trailer:

I

This book, the first in what I predict will be a long and successful series, officially debuts on September fourth, but why wait? The time to pre-order is NOW. You know, get in on the ground floor. (You can thank me later.)


Easy reading is damned hard writing. [Nathaniel Hawthorne]

Clearly, Linda's put a LOTTA work into this book. Lucky us.










                                          Until next time, take care of yourselves. And each other.

Missing Colonists and Hungover Bears

Thought for the day:  You mean tobacco isn't a vegetable?

The Cupola House, Edenton, NC  [wikipedia]

We're gonna take a look at the fine state of North Carolina today ... the state of Southern hospitality, genteel manners, and a bunch of interesting firsts, like first in freedom, and first in flight. Oh, and there's fields and fields of tobacco growing there, too ... and tobacco processing plants, cigarette manufacturers, and outlets selling relatively cheap smokes. Because tobacco is BIG business in North Carolina. But it's also a state where you can relish the ageless beauty of the Outer Banks in the morning, travel to the cool mountains in the evening, and stop in a big city for dinner along the way. You probably already know this state's claim to fame as the birthplace of both NASCAR and Pepsi Cola, but betcha didn't know this: on March 7, 1914, Babe Ruth smashed his first professional homer in little ol' Fayetteville, North Carolina. (Bet he didn't celebrate afterwards by drinking a Pepsi!)

Okay, let's take a quick look around, shall we?

[source: morguefile]

Ever wonder how North Carolina got the first in freedom moniker? That's because, according to some historians, the state declared independence from England more than a year before the rest of the country made a stand.

[source: wikipedia]

The first in flight nickname stems from the accomplishments of the Wright brothers, Orville and Wilbur. In 1903, they made the first successful powered flight by man at Kill Devil Hill, near Kitty Hawk. Their plane weighed 650 pounds, and after launching into 20 MPH winds, the flight lasted twelve seconds, and covered 120 feet.

[source: wikipedia]

Whitewater Falls, located in the mountains of Transylvania county, is the highest waterfall east of the Mississippi River.

[source: morguefile]

Talk about high, so is this bridge. The Mile-High Swinging Bridge, near Linville, is 5305 feet above sea level, and hangs eighty feet above the ground. Ever been on a swinging bridge before? I have, but never one this high.

[source: wikipedia]

 There's something about lighthouses that captures the imagination, isn't there? As things of beauty, and as reminders of the countless ships they steered safely to shore. This is Cape Hatteras, an especially moving lighthouse.

[credit: National Parks Service]

That's because, at 208 feet tall, this is the tallest lighthouse that was actually moved. Because of erosion problems, this lighthouse was moved 2870 feet inland from its original spot at the edge of the ocean. The move occurred from 1999- 2000. In its current location, as seen above, the lighthouse is open for public tours.







The tidbit of North Carolina history that most intrigues me is the story about the Lost Colony of Roanoke, the first English colony in America. That's where the first English child, Virginia Dare, was born. But, somehow, an abiding mystery was born there, too. The governor went to England in 1587 to get supplies, and when he returned with them in 1590, the settlement was empty. The entire colony disappeared without a trace, except for the word CROATOAN, which was scrawled on a tree. 

[source: morguefile]

The Biltmore Estate in Ashville is America's largest privately owned home. It includes a 255-room chateau, an award-winning winery, and extensive gardens. 

A living history museum in Old Salem, the historical district of Winston-Salem, showcases the culture of eighteenth and nineteenth century Moravian settlers.

[source: wikipedia]

Morehead Planetarium, located on the University of North Carolina campus, Chapel Hill, is one of the oldest and largest in the country. Built in 1949, this is where Gemini and Apollo program astronauts were trained in celestial navigation.

[source: morguefile]

Every December, Harkers Island hosts the annual Core Sound Decoy Festival, where talented carvers from around the world compete.

[source: wikipedia]

Thomas Wolfe said you can't go home again, but you CAN go to North Carolina to see HIS home. Pretty impressive, isn't it?








Ready to take a little look-see at some of the laws still lingering on the books in North Carolina? 

• It's against the law to sing off-key. (No American Idol try-outs there!)
• It's illegal to use an elephant to plow cotton fields. (Tsk, tsk, tsk. They're missing out on an awful lot of free fertilizer. Oh wait. Never mind. They probably use all their elephants in the tobacco fields.)
• Sex is only legal in the missionary position ... with the shades pulled down. (But if the shades are pulled down, how do dey know???)
• If a man and woman who aren't married go to a hotel and register as a married  couple, according to state law, they are legally married. (Cheaper than a wedding, too.)
• All couples staying overnight in a hotel must have a room with double beds that are at least two feet apart. (So don't forget your measuring tape.)
• It's against the law to have sex in a churchyard.
• Anyone in possession of illegal substances must pay taxes on them. (Wonder how much revenue THIS one raised.)
• There's a three-dollar tax on all white goods sold. (So stick with colored sheets.)
• Organizations may not hold meetings while members present are in costume. (People can act like clowns and monkeys, but they can't dress like 'em.)
• Bingo games may not last over five hours, unless held at a fair.
• It's against the law to sell alcohol at bingo games. (Probably smart. Everybody knows what a rowdy lot those bingo-playing grannies are.)
• In Barber, fighting between dogs and cats is against the law. 
• In Charlotte, women must have their bodies covered by at least sixteen yards of cloth at all times. 
• In Dunn, it's illegal to drive cars through city cemeteries for pleasure. (Darn. I mean, that's so much fun.)
• It's also against the law there to throw rocks or spit at a city street. (Durn it, people, show that street some r-e-s-p-e-c-t!)
• In Forest City, you have to stop and call City Hall before entering town in an automobile. (The purpose of this law was so townspeople would have time to go out and hold their horses until the accursed automobile made it through town.)
• Lawmakers in Kill Devil Hills are real killjoys. It's against the law there to ride a bicycle without having both hands on the handlebars.
• In Zebulon, it's illegal to stand outside the police station for any purpose after dark.
• And it's also against the law there to walk on top of the city's water tank.

Okay, it's that time again, guys and gals. Time for (ta-DA!)

The Weirdest News Stories of the Week

[source: morguefile]

***  Some people say air travel is for the birds these days. Maybe they're right. An injured cuckoo, too sick and weak to join the annual migration with all her friends ... took a plane. Workers at Wildlife Aid, in London, nursed the bird back to health, and then British Airways whooshed her off on a two-hour flight to Turin, Italy, where they hope she'll rejoin her pals for the rest of the 2500-mile trip across the Mediterranean and Sahara, and on to the Congo. (If she wants a lift next year, by golly, her little feathered butt's gonna have to buy a ticket!)

Hangover, maybe? [source: morguefile]

***  Evidently, some bears know how to par-ty. A mother grizzly and her three cubs broke down a wall to get into a Norwegian hunting lodge, where they helped themselves to more than a hundred cans of beer, and all the marshmallows, chocolate spread, and honey they could find. In the process, they trashed the place...  smashed the stove, oven, cupboards, and shelves to smithereens, and left ample amounts of excrement everywhere. Wild bears gone even wilder? I dunno. Kinda sounds like a frat party without the togas to me. On the other hand, a Colorado black bear was considerably more courteous when he broke into the Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory last week. Caught on surveillance cameras, he simply let himself in... through the door... helped himself to some candy, (appropriately enough, called cookie bears) and then let himself out again. Through the door. Several times. Didn't break anything. Didn't poop on the floor. Didn't even leave a trail of wrappers. (Guess he ATE 'em.) You have to feel a little bit of empathy for the guy. I mean, after all, he was only going after chocolate, and as everybody knows, chocolate certainly rates as a bear necessity.

Oh, I couldn't read THAT! [source: morguefile]

***  Have you read E.L. James' Fifty Shades of Gray? All three books in the series are so popular, record numbers of vision-impaired senior citizens have been demanding them in audio format so they can be, um, stimulated, too. (Intellectually, of course.) The books have been holding down the top three spots on the bestseller list for weeks and weeks, but now... guess what?  There's a new Fifty Shades of Gray, by S.H. Simove, and it's a little different. And not at all embarrassing. It's filled with two hundred blank pages. But they are gray... matter of fact, four pages each of fifty different shades of gray. So, if you're too embarrassed to read the original books, maybe this novelty pad is just the thing. The clever Simove already had an earlier hit with another 200-page wordless book. Its title? What Every Man Thinks About Apart From Sex.

***
                               Until next time, take care of yourselves. And each other.

Wooden Wheels and Whizzers

Thought for the day:  No other man-made device since the shields and lances of ancient knights fulfills a man's ego like an automobile.  [Lord Rootes}

There weren't any shields and lances to be seen, but there were plenty of vintage cars. This past Saturday, my hubby and I went to a Model A swap meet.

I mean, how cool is THIS ... to see nothing but Model As parked on both sides of the road? The fourth one up on the right is my hubby's rat rod. The body is a 1930 Model A, but it's an everything-but-the-kitchen-sink hybrid from there. Ergo the rat rod designation. (Hmmm, come to think of it, there ARE a couple former plumbing parts under the hood... if there WERE a hood.)  Has a new powerful vroom vroom Chevy engine, is built on a 1987 S-10 chassis, has a 1959 Mercedes grille, and the cedar bed is made out of our old hot tub. Can you see it? No?

THERE. Is that better?

It is soooo much fun to bounce down the road in the ol' girl. Even with multiple mufflers, she's still pretty loud, so people tend to turn their heads to look when they hear us coming. And they smile. Point. Laugh. Wave. Give us a thumb up. She's low on weight and heavy on power and performance, so given the opportunity, I have a feeling she'd fly down the track. So far, my hubby's shown great restraint on the road, and except for the occasional exuberant burst of speed on an occasional irresistible straightaway, we cruise down the road and simply enjoy the experience.

I won't bore you by showing you a picture of each of the Model As at the meet, but this is one of my favorites. It's unusual (at least, in my experience) to see one in this particular color combo. Very classy-looking. (NOT a rat rod.)

Last year, a couple of the cars were done up with a theme in mind. My favorite was done up like a moonshiner's truck, complete with a still in the bed. Lots of neat little whimsical details, too. Natch, I didn't have my camera last year, and also natch, it didn't show up this year when I DID have my camera in hand. Oh, well. Maybe next year.

One of the things my husband likes best about this annual meeting is the opportunity to purchase Model A parts and accessories for a decent price. One of the things I like best about this annual meeting is where it's held... outside a building filled with a fabulous private car collection ... and on this day, the owner opens the doors for us. WOW!

This collection has been a work in progress since the early '50s, and not only is every vehicle a thing of beauty, but each one is completely road-worthy. When we went last year, the Tucker was out getting transmission work, so I was looking forward to seeing it this year. No such luck. It sold recently ... for more than a million bucks. (YOWZA!) But there are plenty of other award-winning cars there to oooh and ahhhh over. I'll just give you a little peek.

A long, sleek, shiny Dusenberg with a bunch of blue ribbons. She was actually in the owner's garage area, which was open to us for the first time this year.

How'd ya like to take a trip in this baby? (Back when "Woodies" were actually made of WOOD.)

Okay, which of you smarties know what this is? This is a close-up under the hood of an old Cadillac. (Vintage '20s maybe?) Would you believe it's a cooling system? Water inside of those copper valve covers keeps the temperature down. Cool, huh?

I never saw one of these before. It's called a Mitchell.

How about THIS? An honest-to-goodness wooden wheel! Sorry, I was so fascinated by the wheel, I don't remember a darned thing about the vehicle itself.

An unusual hood ornament, huh? It's an archer, and fittingly enough, it's on the front of... (ta-DA!) a Pierce Arrow.

I thought this was pretty neat, too. It's the front grille of a Packard. (1939, I think) Anyhow, what's neat is the fact that the grille contains louvres that automatically open ... or close ... depending on how much air cooling the engine needs at any given time. Innovative engineering, eh?

Anybody remember the Whizzer? It's something a lot of kids used to aspire to, but few (nobody I knew, anyhow) could afford. The company started making and selling bicycle engines in 1939, and later, also sold the bike with engine as an already assembled unit.  Alas, they stopped making them in '55, and by '65, parts were no longer being manufactured for them, either. But guess what? The good ol' Whizzer made a comeback in '98, and can once again be purchased in the U.S.

This is one of my hubby's dream cars. A Shelby Cobra. Right color, too. (Guess I'd better start playing the lottery ...)

If someone were to ask me for a shortcut to sensuality, I would suggest he go shopping for a used 427 Shelby Cobra. But it is only fair to warn you that of the 300 men who switched to them in 1966, only two went back to women. [Mort Sahl]

This Indian with sidecar is almost a hundred years old. But, ooooh, is she ever pretty!












Okay, I won't bore you with any more pictures, but if you'd like to see more of this collection, take a gander right HERE (Click on any picture to find more info about the vehicle in it.)

We also went to a different car show on Sunday, but lucky for you ... I forgot my camera, darn it. And there was a reeeeeally cool Model T race car there, too... and a nifty-looking camouflage military-looking VW with oversized tires and the engine up front ... and an old Pinzgauer troop carrier... and several rat rods. Oh, well. Maybe next time.

So, what's your favorite car? Something you've owned ... or wished you owned? If money were no limit, what vehicle would be sitting in front of your house? I know. Tough decision. I've got a thing for the '65 Mustang, the '54 MGTD, and the Morgan. (ANY year will do!) The new retro Camaros are pretty darned cool, too. But ya know what? When it comes right down to it, my little ol' 1999 fire engine red Pontiac suits me just fine.

                               Until next time, take care of yourselves. And each other.

The car has become ... an article of dress without which we feel uncertain, unclad, and incomplete. [Marshall McLuhan]