|[courtesy of Seniorark]|
Man, I feel like such a fraud. Our temperatures are in the eighties here this week, so it isn't exactly cold, but it IS still winter... technically... and it's still very cold in some places, right? Right! When I ran the first staying warm post the last Friday in January, it didn't get much love. In fact, it was virtually ignored, possibly because that post didn't show up on anyone's blog roll, as some have told me. Dunno why, but if at first you don't succeed...
Let's see if this second part of the post fares any better. With the official start of spring right around the corner, let's give a nod to winter's last gasps. Before we know it, we'll be bellyaching about the pollen, and how hot it is. In the meantime, here are some more pictures of critters trying to stay warm. Enjoy!
|How about a nice cat-serole for dinner?|
|This bed could use a softer mattress.|
|How many angels can fit on the head of a pin... how many cats in a sunbeam?|
|Mom's new heater was the best birthday present ever!|
|Alternating positions is obviously the most efficient use of the sunshine.|
|I think I'll sleep right... HERE!|
|I betcha this one warms your heart.|
* Teenagers have pulled up their pants. And put on a jacket!
* When farmers milked their cows, they got ice cream.
* If you can believe it, politicians had their hands in their OWN pockets.
* I saw a dog over on Main Street. The poor thing was frozen to the fire hydrant.
* We have one of those new rain showerheads. I love it, but the other day, when I turned it on, I got hail.
* Smarticus and I ate lunch at a greasy spoon on Wednesday... just for the heartburn.
* EVERYBODY had a stiff upper lip.
With all of the snow... and shoveling... some folks have had to deal with this winter, I present this fictional diary. You may have seen it before, because it's one of those things that's been floating around the Internet for a decade or more:
Diary of a snow shoveler, probable location - North East
December 8 - 6:00 PM
It started to snow.
The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven.
It looked like a Grandma Moses Print.
So romantic we felt like newlyweds again.
I love snow!
We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape.
What a fantastic sight!
Can there be a lovelier place in the whole world?
Moving here was the best idea I've ever had!
Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again.
I did both our driveway and the sidewalks.
This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again.
What a perfect life!
The sun has melted all our lovely snow.
Such a disappointment!
My neighbor tells me not to worry- we'll definitely have a white Christmas.
No snow on Christmas would be awful!
Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again
I don't think that's possible.
Bob is such a nice man, I'm glad he's our neighbor.
Snow, lovely snow! 8 inches last night.
The temperature dropped to -20.
The cold makes everything sparkle so.
The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks.
This is the life!
The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again.
I didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get back in shape this way.
I wish l wouldn't huff and puff so.
20 inches forecast.
Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer.
Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels.
Stocked the freezer.
The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out.
I think that's silly.
We aren't in Alaska, after all.
Ice storm this morning.
Fell on my ass on the ice in the driveway putting down salt.
Hurt like hell.
The wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very cruel.
Still way below freezing.
Roads are too icy to go anywhere.
Electricity was off for 5 hours.
I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm.
Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her.
Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her.
God I hate it when she's right.
I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room.
Electricity's back on, but had another 14 inches of the damn stuff last night.
Took all day.
The damn snowplow came by twice.
Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy playing hockey.
I think they're lying.
Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out.
Might have another shipment in March.
I think they're lying.
Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me.
I think he's lying.
Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white shit fell today, and it's so cold, it probably won't melt till August.
Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to piss.
By the time I got undressed, pissed and dressed again. I was too tired to shovel.
Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the winter, but he says he's too busy. I think the asshole is lying.
Only 2 inches of snow today
And it warmed up to 0.
The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning.
What is she, nuts?!!
Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago?
She says she did but I think she's lying.
6 inches - Snow packed so hard by snowplow, l broke the shovel.
Thought I was having a heart attack.
If I ever catch the son of a bitch who drives that snow plow, I'll drag him through the snow by his balls and beat him to death with my broken shovel.
I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been!
Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was too busy watching for the damn snowplow.
Merry freaking Christmas!
20 more inches of the damn slop tonight -Snowed in.
The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil.
God, I hate the snow!
Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel.
The wife says I have a bad attitude.
I think she's an idiot.
If I have to watch "It's A Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to stuff her into the microwave.
Still snowed in.
Why the hell did I ever move here?
It was all HER idea.
She's really getting on my nerves.
Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze; plumber came after 14 hours of waiting for him, he only charged me $1,400 to replace all my pipes.
Warmed up to above -20.
Still snowed in.
The BITCH is driving me crazy!!!
10 more inches.
Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in.
That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?
Roof caved in.
I beat up the snow plow driver, and now he is suing me for a million dollars, not only the beating I gave him, but also for trying to shove the broken snow shovel up his ass.
The wife went home to her mother.
Nine more inches predicted.
I set fire to what's left of the house.
No more shoveling.
Feel so good.
I just love those little white pills they keep giving me.
Why am I tied to the bed?
Chin up! Spring is right around the corner...
Until next time, take care of yourselves. And each other.