|[image courtesy of Morguefile]|
We've come a long way since I took this picture of Smarticus and the kids back in about 1980 or so. Now the boys have kids of their own, who undoubtedly do their fair share of bouncing off the walls. Especially the boys.
Because, as anyone can tell you who has raised both boys and girls, boys and girls behave very differently. (As if they really are from two different planets at times.) All blessings in their own right, but let's just say that boys can also be rip-roaring odoriferous rambunctious challenges. (And I wouldn't have it any other way!)
|[image courtesy of Morguefile]|
At some point, one of our sons went from enjoying bath time to expending entirely too much energy trying to weasel out of it. Once, he even went to the trouble of filling the tub without actually bothering to put so much as a toe into the water. He just hung out in the bathroom for a while... reading a book. Then after what he deemed to be an appropriate amount of time, he let the water out and emerged in his clean pajamas. If he hadn't been so darned dirty, he might've gotten away with it.
Why is it with boys, when you tell them to wash their hands, you have to specify that they should use soap? Never mind. Silly question. Our son didn't even think he needed water...
Anyhow, raising children can teach parents all kinds of lessons. Not always things we want to know, mind you, but lessons nonetheless. I'm pleased to say we didn't personally experience all of the things on the following list of things parents learn by raising boys:
- A king-sized waterbed holds enough water to create a 4-inch deep flood in a 2000 square foot home.
- If you spray hairspray on dust bunnies and then run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
- A 3-year-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
- If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor isn't strong enough to rotate a 42-pound boy wearing batman underoos and a superman cape.
- However, it is strong enough, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 x 20 room.
- You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.
- When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit.
- A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
- The glass in windows (even double-paned) doesn't stop a baseball that's been hit by a ceiling fan.
- When you hear a toilet flush and "uh-oh", it's already too late.
- Brake fluid mixed with Chlorox makes smoke. A LOT of smoke.
- A 6-year-old boy can start a fire with a flint rock, even though a 36-year-old man says it can only be done in the movies.
- Certain Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year-old boy.
- Play dough and microwave should never be used in the same sentence.
- Super glue is forever.
- No matter how much Jello you put into a swimming pool, you still can't walk on water.
- Pool filters do not like Jello.
- VCRs do not eject PB&J sandwiches, even though TV commercials show that they do.
- Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
- Marbles in gas tanks make a lot of noise when driving.
- You probably don't want to know what that smell is.
- Always check the oven before turning it on; ovens do NOT like plastic toys.
- The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
- It will, however, make cats dizzy.
- Cats throw up twice their weight when dizzy.
|[image courtesy of Morgefile]|