Friday, November 29, 2019

Getting Old Ain't All Bad

Thought for the day: Gratitude is an attitude.


Yesterday was Thanksgiving here in the U.S., and for those of you who celebrated it, I hope you had a wonderful day. For those of you in other countries who didn't celebrate by overeating until you were miserable, I hope you had a... lovely Thursday.

Smarticus and I have lots to be grateful for. He finished radiation this week... and he doesn't glow in the dark!... and today's his last chemo infusion for a while. And only one more round of chemo to go (Woo HOO!) before a PET scan will determine how effective it's all been. We're optimistic, and we're grateful that it's gone as well as it has. (And we're still smiling.)

Okay, so here's the third and final guest post I did a few years ago for The Really Real Housewives of America. Again, I'll run it just as it appeared originally. I hope you enjoy it.

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Hi-ya. Me again. Back for my final fling as this week's guest blogger. And today... anything goes! Woo-HOO! So what are we gonna talk about? Something you've all heard about before, I'm sure... those dreaded midlife crises. You know, that time of life when we allegedly go temporarily nuts, and do all sorts of wild and crazy things because we suddenly notice we're (gasp!) getting old.  Driven by desperation, we supposedly do anything and everything we can to prove we're still young... even if it's nothing but a silly delusion.


HOGWASH!!!

I don't think that midlife crisis nonsense amounts to a hill of beans. Granted, my hubby and I sped past the mid-points of our lives a long time ago, but we still haven't experienced any great angst about getting old, or behaved any nuttier than we ever have. Know why? Because, believe it or not, this is actually a great time of life. Exhilarating, even. We truly ARE the captains of our own ships now. If we want to do something, we do it. Well into the post-retirement years, our time is our own, and what we do with it is up to us.

If an old guy wants to buy a convertible sports car, why shouldn't he? That doesn't have a thing to do with being in crisis. Doggone it, he worked hard all of his life, raised his family, and now, he can finally afford to treat himself to some of the things he's always wanted. We seniors can indulge ourselves by fulfilling some of our delayed wants, the things we put off all of those years when raising our families, and our careers often took top priority. If an old gal wants to dye her hair purple, why the heck not? Maybe it's her favorite color. If an old guy leaves his longtime wife to run off with a twenty-something bimbo, that doesn't mean he's having a mid-life crisis, either. All that means is he's an ass, and probably always has been.

There's actually a lot of good things to say about getting older. Like we generally have the confidence to stand for more convictions, and the moxie to fall for less malarkey. We may still be competitive, but we also realize being kind is much more important than being right. We've learned it isn't very smart to test the depth of the water with both feet, and we understand that the true art of conversation isn't just about saying the right thing. Sometimes, it means keeping our mouths shut when it's oh-so-tempting to deliver a verbal shot.

You may have heard this quote before. It's been sent to me many times, but without attribution, so I don't know who initiated it, but it's worth sharing: Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving in a pretty and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming, "WOW! What a ride!"

That's our plan. To enjoy the ride as long as it lasts, and to carpe the hell out of each diem. Don't make a big deal out of getting old; just enjoy it. My body parts may be getting old, I may take more pills every day than I ever imagined possible, and the pain under my boob may turn out to be a bum knee, but I'm determined to stay young at heart and in attitude. Is that being sassy? Could be, but I refuse to let aging get me down. (For one thing, it's too damned hard to get back up again!) Be assured, ladies, that no matter how old you are, you can still have the body of a 21-year old, if that's what you want. But (Bada-boom!) you may have to buy him a few drinks first...

In closing, I'm gonna make a blatant plug for a book called Old Broads Waxing Poetic, a compilation of poetry from some very talented ladies. (And me.) Best thing about it? All proceeds go to CARE International, a fantastic organization, so none of us will ever see a penny of it. If you're interested, you can find it on Amazon.


Isn't that cover awesome? The image Forever Young is courtesy of a very generous Italian artist named Francesco Romoli, who immediately agreed to let me use it... for free... when I contacted him.

In closing, I'd like to share one of my poems from that book with you. It's called Ode to Old Age.

I found a hair there under my chin,
And I yanked that sucker out,
But wouldn't you know, the very  next day,
Two more began to sprout.
I don't know what's happening;
It's a perplexing change of pace,
My arms and legs are going bald,
But I've gotta shave my face.

It's such a rotten travesty;
My tummy once was flat.
But now my hourglass is mostly ass,
And my waist has turned to fat.
My body's slowly sagging,
And I don't look so hot;
If a man wants to ogle my bosom now,
I'm afraid he'll have to squat.

But that's okay, 'cause I'm still here,
Of life I'm still a part.
So what if when I bend or stretch,
I leak a little fart?
I've lots of life and love in store,
Though I'm not young and shiny;
If ya wanta know the truth,
Old age can kiss my heinie.

Well, that's it, folks. It's been a pleasure. Thanks to the lovely Tammy for inviting me over to do a few guest posts. Remember: A good attitude is contagious, but for Heaven's sake, don't wait to catch it from someone. Be a carrier.

Best wishes from Susan, longtime housewife, and visiting SOB (Sassy Old Broad)

Susan with her hubby's 1930 Model A rat rod. (Lucky for her, he apparently likes old things.)

If you're a glutton for punishment, and want more of Susan's SOB sense of humor, you're cordially invited to visit her blog I Think; Therefore, I Yam where she blogs most Fridays.








UPDATE: Not much... only that I'm even OLDER now. But we're happy to still be here. Any day we both wake up in the morning is a good one.

                              Until next time, take care of yourselves. And each other.


40 comments:

  1. I am thrilled that you and Smarticus have mostly finished this round of ugliness. And come out smiling.
    Love your guest post - and Old Broads Waxing Poetic has a treasured place on my shelves.

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  2. Another wonderful, fun post. Glad your hubby is nearly through with the treatment, and hope sincerely that the scans will show good results. Loved the article you wrote. As an old lady myself I enjoy my freedom to do what I want, dress as I want, and have fun as much as I can. Have a great weekend, hugs, Valerie

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    Replies
    1. Thank you. Absolutely. This is a terrific time of time.

      You have a super weekend, too. Hugs back atcha.

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  3. I'm another one who hasn't felt the need to prove that I'm still young. I'm not young and I'm happy to be growing old. I could wish it would take a bit longer, but it is what it is and at least I'm still here.
    So glad to hear hubby may soon have the all-clear smile.

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    Replies
    1. It's ridiculous to what lengths some people will go to "stay young." Face, butt, and bosom lifts and botox and that jazz. Who do they think they're kidding? :) Far better to grow old with as much grace and humor as possible.

      Thank you. :)

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    2. I often wonder if they realise how silly they will look in their 80s when everything is wrinkled and sagged but the boobs are perky and the eyes are wide open, with eyebrows somewhere in the hairline.

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    3. Evidently, those who go in for that sort of thing think they look great, no matter what the rest of us think. Consider Phyllis Diller...

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  4. Hi Susan - such good news about Smarticus ... so pleased for you both and those positive thoughts definitely do good. Wonderful poem - such fun ... and excellent reminding us about Old Broads Waxing Poetic with all proceeds going to Care International.

    I've always loved the cover ... so reading that the Italian artist, Francesco Romelli, let you use it for free is just brilliant generosity.

    Cheers to you both - Hilary

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    1. Hi-ya, Hilary.

      Thanks. I'm still humbled by Francesco's generosity. When I contacted him, he immediately sent me a high-resolution copy of his work, along with his blessings. It was simply PERFECT for our book :)

      Cheers back atcha!

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  5. I think I got the road map down, my body will surely be used up lol but then I don't need to look pretty when they burn me and use me as kitty litter, right? And yeah, a lot of that midlife crisis crap is crap.

    Great that he is almost through, hopefully the crummy cancer is given the boot.

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    1. Nope, we don't need to look pretty before they cremate us, but I consider it my last opportunity to have a smoking hot body. :)

      Yep, um crap... is crap. Blaming weird behavior on a "midlife crisis" is just another way to pass the blame and make excuses.

      Thank you.

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  6. Great news for you and Smarticus! Definitely something to be grateful for. :)

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    1. For sure! We've been going to one or the other cancer center every day for so long, it's going to feel strange not going to either next week. (Strange, but WONDERFUL!)

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  7. I love your Ode to Old Age. It was uplifting! Copied it and stored it in some folder I will probably never find again.
    It's always nice to read others' good news.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks! I'm glad you liked it. Oh, you've got those kinds of folders, too, eh...?

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  8. Oh Susan, you look nice! I love the poem, it's a great laugh and very true.
    LOL!

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    1. Thank you, Ana. I'm glad you liked the poem. I think it's true for most of us, no matter where we live in the world. :)

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  9. Nothing wrong with sassy! And the standout line for me from the collection of admirable sentiments was "being kind is much more important than being right." If only more people took that to heart!

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    1. The world could definitely use more kindness. We can agree to disagree without being disagreeable boors.

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  10. Woo-hoo for Smarticus! (And of course his long-time cheerleader!)
    Given the holiday angst I woke with this morning your message is really appreciated. Thank you, too, for sharing that pretty take on 'Morning Has Broken.'

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    Replies
    1. We're definitely woo-hooing! Well, actually, he's doing more sleeping than vocalizing, but the sentiment is definitely there.

      Isn't that a beautiful rendition? I love that song, and it seemed fitting...

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  11. Ode to Old Age. Dang, those were my thoughts exactly.

    Thanks for wording it so well!

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  12. First of all I'm glad to hear positive news about your husband's current ordeal. Sending warm hugs and loving thoughts your way.

    As for age - I stopped counting after I turned 50. I swear to Gawd there are times when I don't remember how old I am.
    I used to lie outrageously about my age, but there comes a point when that ploy is futile....

    The best medicine is to savor every day and remain a child at heart.
    I Love your poem!!

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    1. Since we share the same birthday, I wonder if you did the same thing I did as a kid. Since I started school at five, most of my classmates were older, so in the summer before my birthday, I always thought of myself as already being the age I was about to turn. Weird, huh? I still have to stop and think about my age, but I do the same for our kids, too. When someone asks me how old one of them is, I'm like a deer in the headlights. I actually have to subtract their birth year from the current year... and then say, "Holy crap! How'd (s)he get so OLD???" (Our oldest is 48... OY!)

      I hope we always remain childlike in our hearts.

      Thanks. :)

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  13. I'm glad Smarticus is doing well, but it would come in kind of handy if he did glow in the dark. He could be a nightlight and it would be easy to find him. Growing older definitely has many advantages. Happy Thanksgiving!

    Love,
    Janie

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    Replies
    1. Thanks. Good point! :)

      I hope you had a super Thanksgiving, sweet lady.

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  14. I love your poem--made me laugh all over again. I can relate to much of it. No matter what number your age reaches, you are definitely young at heart.

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    1. Being young at heart is better than being an old grouch, eh? :)

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  15. somehow Thanksgiving probably means a tad more this year. Good luck on final doses and tests for this round. Fingers crossed my friend.
    And your post is funny as hell, the poem is way too applicable. We'll keep getting older together. That park bench is too cold these days. Come sit by the fire and I'll pour us some wine. Cheers.

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    1. Yeah, Thanksgiving is definitely an every day kinda sentiment these days.

      Sounds good! It isn't chilly enough here to warrant a fire yet, but the wine sounds good... Cheers back atcha.

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  16. Glad to hear Smarticus is doing well :)

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  17. Your post is full of funny. All the best to you.

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    1. Thanks. ("Full of funny" is good, right? HA)

      All the best back atcha.

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  18. I'm happy to hear it all went well. Prayers the news is good.

    I still love that poem. I'm looking and acting more and more like it every day!

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    1. Thanks.

      Now, that's hard to believe. You strike me as the perennially young kinda lady... must be from raising all those boys. They have a way of keeping you young. (So do grandchildren...)

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