Cold Enough For Ya?

Thought for the day:  It's been so cold in Texas, my brother's rooster ran into KFC and begged to use the pressure cooker.

[seniorark]

Okay, so I lied. Parts of Texas have been bitterly cold this year, (right, Jon?) but not where my brother lives, so none of his chickens have actually made a suicide run to KFC.

So sue me. I thought it was funny.

I don't know where that incredible ice storm picture I found at seniorark was taken, but I do know it's someplace I don't wanta be. How about you? Has it been a cold winter where you live?  I know some of you guys reading this are in the middle of a miserable summer heat wave right now, but most of us are in the middle of winter. Not that you'd know it around here. It was 76 degrees a couple weekends ago, and our daffodils look like they're gonna bloom any day now.

Nonetheless, I trust that some of you are feeling the cold right now, are seeing snow outside your window, and are already daydreaming about springtime. So these are just for you...

[seniorark]

How cold is it? It's so cold...

• Hitchhikers are holding up pictures of a thumb.
• A recorded message at the  911 center says to call back in the spring.
• I saw a squirrel throwing himself at an electric fence.
• My friend chipped a tooth on her soup.
• The old lady across the street couldn't believe how badly her teeth were chattering last night. They were sitting in a glass at the time. 
• Starbucks started selling coffee on a stick.
• When farmers milk their cows, they get ice cream.
• If you can believe it, politicians have their hands in their OWN pockets.
• I saw a dog over on Main Street. The poor thing was frozen to the fire hydrant.
• We have one of those new rain showerheads. I love it, but the other day, when I turned it on, I got hail.
• My husband and I ate lunch at a greasy spoon yesterday... just for the heartburn.
• EVERYBODY has a stiff upper lip.

[Morguefile]

So, let's chat. Wanta know why  cold weather is on my mind today? 

I'll tell ya. Because of Julie Flanders' hot new book with a super cool title:  Polar Night. 

And that's not ALL!

[Morguefile]

I'm plunging in to help her cover make a big splash!

                                                                   

                                                                   Ready to see it? 

                                                           

                                                            It is absolutely gorgeous.

                                                                     

                                                                     Chillingly so...

                                         

                                      WOW, right? Wanta hear something about the book?

                                                    Take it awaaaaay, Julie:

Book Blurb: When Detective Danny Fitzpatrick leaves his hometown of Chicago and moves to Fairbanks, Alaska he wants nothing more than to escape the violence and heartbreak that left his life in pieces. Numbed by alcohol and the frozen temperatures of an Alaskan winter, Danny is content with a dead-end job investigating Fairbanks' cold cases. That all changes when a pretty blond woman goes missing on the winter solstice, and Danny stumbles upon some surprising connections between her disappearance and that of another Fairbanks woman three years earlier. Forced out of his lethargy, Danny sets out to both find the missing woman and solve his own cold case.

The investigation points Danny towards Aleksei Nechayev, the handsome and charming proprietor of an old asylum turned haunted tourist attraction in the Arctic town of Coldfoot. As he tries to find a link between Nechayev and his case, Danny's instinct tells him that Nechayev is much more than what he seems.

Danny has no idea that Nechayev is hiding a secret that is much more horrifying than anything he could ever have imagined. As his obsession with finding the missing women grows, Danny finds his own life in danger. And when the truth is finally revealed, the world as he knows it will never be the same.

Bio: Julie Flanders is a librarian and a freelance writer who has written for both online and print publications. She is an avid animal lover and shares her home in Cincinnati, Ohio with her dog and cat. Polar Night, a suspense thriller with a supernatural twist, is her first novel. It will be published by Ink Smith Publishing on February 7, 2013. Find Julie online at her blog, on Twitter, and on Facebook.

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There ya go. February 7 is the date to remember. Best wishes to Julie for a red hot launch next month.

******

Okay, I'm on a roll with this whole talking about cold stuff, so I'm gonna share one more thing with you before wrapping it up. You know how the people in some cities pride themselves on being able to handle frigid temperatures better than people in other cities? There have been quite a few funny pieces written along this line about various American cities, and you may have seen some of them. One of the truly cool things about amateur radio is how it opens the door to enjoying friendships with people from all over the world. So, thanks to amateur radio, and specifically to a funny Finnish amateur radio operator, here's a fun piece about cold-weather fortitude... with a bit of an international flair. All temperatures are in degrees Centigrade.

• +15 --- Spanish wear caps, gloves, and winter coats; Finns are sunbathing.
• +10 --- French desperately try to get their central heating on; Finns plant flowers.
• + 5 --- Italian cars won't start; Finns drive convertibles.
•    0 --- Pure water freezes; water in River Vantaa thickens a bit.
• - 5 --- First people are found frozen in California; Finnish midsummer festival ends.
• -10 --- Scots turn the heat on in their houses; Finns start to wear long-sleeved shirts.
• -20 --- Swedes stay indoors; Finns are having last barbecue before winter.
• -30 --- Half of the Greek people have been frozen to death; Finns start to dry laundry indoors.
• -50 --- Polar bears evacuate North Pole; Finnish army starts its winter training.
• -70 --- Siberians are moving to Moscow; Finns are furious, because their Kiskenkorva liquor can't be stored outdoors anymore.
• -273 --- Absolute zero; Finns admit that it is quite cold outside.
• -300 --- Hell freezes over; Finland wins the World Cup.

So, there ya have it. Time for a cuppa hot tea, dontcha think? Or maybe ...  a little nap.

    [Morguefile]

                                    Until next time, take care of yourselves. And each other.