Friday, October 26, 2018

Just a Perfect Blendship

Thought for the day:  Friendship is not one big thing... it's a million little things. 


Okay, so maybe friendship doesn't need words. I guess it's possible to maintain a comfortable silence when hanging out with good friends, and I'm sure it wouldn't kill us to keep our mouths shut once in a while. Not that Smarticus and I are ever likely to know that for a fact, mind you, because for the most part, when we're hanging out with any of our friends, we're with talkers, story-swappers, and laugh-until-our-sides-hurt kinda people.

Laughter is the shortest distance between friends. 

We'll be visiting with two very special friends for the next four or five days, which means I won't be online for a while. In fact, I'm not here now. (Dontcha love being able to pre-schedule posts???) Since I'm AWOL and may not get around to responding to your comments or paying return visits to your blogs, I considered disabling the comments for this post, but I decided to let 'em be. If you choose to leave a comment, I promise I will  read it, but no promises about responding or paying a return visit to your blog this time around, okay?

Anyhow, in anticipation of all the fun we're gonna have with our buddies, I got to thinking about friendship. What does it mean to be a friend? What does friendship mean to you? And do our expectations and criteria change over the years?

Never mind. What a stupid question. Of course our criteria changes! When I was a kid, everybody was my best friend. I had absolutely no filters in place, so I was just as friendly with the wonderful people who had my back as I was with those who treated me like crapola. I guess I was kinda like a puppy dog. At some point, though, I reckon we all have to learn that it's okay to choose who we want to be friends with based on more than them simply being alive or giving us an occasional pat on the head.

Friends are the bacon bits in the salad bowl of life. 


That's a good way to put it, isn't it? Delightfully savory bacon bits. Friends are also the decadent frosting on our cake, the people we can depend on, and who can depend on us. Together, we double our joys and halve our sorrows. We get each other.

Good friends don't let you do stupid things... alone.

 Remember the pinkie swears of youth, the shared secrets, and the oh-so-serious ritual of becoming blood sisters and brothers?  I must confess, my girlfriend Caryl and I wanted to be blood sisters, but we weren't all that keen about cutting ourselves. I mean, we were practically joined at the hip since we met in first grade, and we loved to sing together and got into all kinds of fun mischief together for many years, so we simply had to be blood sisters! But... cut ourselves? Uh... no thanks. The guys could play mumblety-peg (Anybody remember that?) and slice themselves in the name of friendship with their ever-present pocket knives all they wanted, but us? Nuh-uh. Ain't no way. We simply picked at our scabs until we got enough of a trickle to mix. (Hush! Same principle, right?)

No more pinkie swears as adults, but we do still share confidences and keep secrets. No more blood brothers and sisters, either. (I still have an aversion to cutting myself, and it's been decades years months days since I've had a ready supply of scabs on my knees.) But after all these years, my childhood blood sister and I still keep in touch, especially since she had some experimental (and successful!) chemotherapy about six years ago. As a side effect, she lost many of her childhood memories, so she asked me to help her fill in the blanks, an undertaking that's brought both of us an incredible amount of pleasure. She even flew down from Maryland to visit earlier this year, and even though it'd been decades since we last saw each other face-to-face, it was as though we'd never been apart.

Friends are people who know the song in your heart, and can sing it back to you when you forget the words.





[morguefile]
When I was eleven years old or so, I learned a little something about friendship. It happened on a beautiful warm evening in late spring, when the scent of lilacs filled the air. My neighbor friend Diane and I were chatting, giggling, and strolling to the elementary school so we could attend a pre-teen dance there, and as was fairly common in our neighborhood, seagulls were providing background music by soaring majestically above us, squawking their familiar cries.

BOMBS AWAY! [morguefile]
And then one of the seagulls zeroed in on us. Or to be more precise, it zeroed in on Diane. Like a miniature dive bomber, that squawking bird swooped down, and FWOP! splatted a big ol' load of multi-colored poop all over her. Unless you've experienced it, you have no idea how much poop a seagull can fwop. Or how colorful it can be. Trust me, it was a lot. And colorful. On her. On the shoulder of her shirt, and all down the front of her. I'm telling you, the expression on her face was priceless, and I, her dear sweet loving friend, wiped most of that nasty stuff off with my bare hands, and then oh-so-gently wrapped my lightweight jacket around her shoulders. "There, there," I crooned in my most empathetic voice. "It'll be all right."

[morguefile]
Yeah, right. You guys don't know me at all, do ya?

So sue me. I laughed. I laughed my silly arse off. And then I laughed some more. Diane, alas, failed to see the humor in the situation, and insisted on going back home. So, no dance. We went back to her house and watched TV. I learned right there and then how important it is for friends to laugh... together.

Now, before you judge me too harshly for laughing, this is the same Diane who helped break my parents' bed, and then took off like a scared rabbit and left me to deal with the mess by myself. Besides, if the seagull had pooped on me? I would've laughed just as hard. (Come on... it was funny!)

We are best friends. Always remember that if you fall, I will pick you up... after I finish laughing.


Whether you have one or two good friends, or so many you can't keep count, nothing's more wonderful than spending time with people who get you, no matter how weird you can be. If you're very very lucky, you might even be married to one of them. (Yes, I am very very lucky.)

Best friends know how weird you are, but still choose to be seen with you in public.



[morguefile]











No matter how old we are, whether we're very young and fervently declaring our status as best friends forever five minutes after we meet...



[morguefile]











or teenagers filled with insecurities, and learning more about ourselves and the world, bonding over common interests and shared secrets...


[morguefile]















or old codgers who've shared a lifetime of memories, and a lifetime of priceless friendship...





friendship is a vital part of our lives. As tasty as they may be, we don't need bacon bits on our salads, but we do need friends.

The friends we're gonna be with for the next four or five days? The bestest. We all get each other. We'll play a lot of games, swap a lot of lies, and boyohboy, will we ever laugh. Forget sleep, though. We aren't likely to get a lot of that, because we always squeeze as much as we can out of our time together.


Oh, and in case you're wondering, if a bird happens to poop on any of us, you can count on me. I'm gonna laugh. And even better? So will the other three...

How about you? When you hear the word friend, is there anyone in particular who immediately comes to mind? A childhood friend... a current friend...  a blogging pal... a writing partner... or best of all... someone who's been your friend forever? Wanta tell us a little bit about that person?

               Good friends are hard to find, harder to keep, and impossible to forget.

                   I may respond to your comments next week. (If I can stay awake...)



                                        Until next time, take care of yourselves. And each other.

P.S. In case parts of this post seem familiar to you, what can I say? You've got a great memory! Yes, it's an updated version of a post I did a few years ago.

46 comments:

  1. Oh yes. I would laugh too. Openly with a friend. I would probably try (unsuccessfully) to stifle the laughter if the person I was with wasn't a friend.
    Essentially it comes down to 'when you come across someone who greets your idiosyncracies with cries of 'me too' be grateful. Those weirdos are your tribe' Which is a paraphrase but close to the mark.
    Have a heap of fun while you are away.

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    1. I'm not surprised. I KNEW you'd laugh. :)

      Yes! No matter how "strange" we may be, there are others very much like us in the world, and it's awesome to belong to the same "strange tribe."

      We DID have a heap of fun. Thanks.

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  2. A family is a group of friends who love you!!

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  3. I've never had a friend as close as the ones you have, I seem to have an aversion to letting people "in", can't let them get too close. I think my online friends are closer than my real life friends, but I'm okay with that situation.

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    1. If that's the case, I'm really glad you have such a bunch of terrific bloggers pals. I have the opposite problem. I tend to let people in too easily. It usually works out okay, but it isn't always the most prudent approach.

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  4. Friendship is important, my friends are my family, and we respect and help each other, as well as doing things together. Hugs, Valerie

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    1. You and your friends sure do visit and walk around some terrific places, too! Hugs back atcha.

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  5. This is a guilt-free comment - - you are under no obligation to respond.
    Just wanted to say that I thoroughly enjoyed this post.

    I laughed when I read about the seagull leaving a deposit on your friend Diane, because it reminded me of the incident that happened when I was sixteen (I've written about this before). I was walking to church, wearing a brand new suit, and vainly thinking that I looked fantastic. Suddenly a pigeon came out of a palm tree and crapped all over me. I had to go home and change.
    God works in strange ways....

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    1. And this is a guilt-free response. :)

      I'm glad you enjoyed the post, and I remember your post about the pigeon incident. Maybe a lot of us have similar stories. Smartacus told me he went out in the yard in his new Easter suit while waiting for the rest of the family to get ready for church, and a bird christened his new suit. His parents got mad at HIM. You could say he got in deep doo-doo over a bird's doo-doo. :)

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  6. Friendship sure is an important part of life. I never did do the whole blood thing, blah. Too germy haha I'd have laughed at the poop too, may have took a little longer if it crapped on me though. Nasty.

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    1. If you think the whole blood thing is too germy, you don't wanta know some of the other things we did as kids... :)

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  7. Friends are one of the greatest things we can have. Enjoy time with yours.
    Seagull poop story was funny. I would've laughed as well.

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  8. What would be be,or where, without good friends. I have a few and the best thing we share when we get together is laughter ! Enjoy your visit with your friends. I'm sure you'll be a better person for it.

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    1. Friends are the best, and laughing with them is even better. It's like exercise on the inside, and it feels so good! (No sore muscles afterwards, either!)

      Thank you. We had a fantabulous time. :)

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  9. THIS. I have to share with two special ladies who've walked the walk alongside me … laughing and crying, too. Neither is geographically near, but that's OK.

    That seagull incident is hysterical! A few years ago an Arizona pigeon made a similar deposit on my head … my coworker tried convincing me that was a sign of good luck.

    Hope y'all are having a stinkin' blast!

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    1. It's a shame some of our best gal pals don't live as close as we'd like, isn't it? But we manage to maintain fairly close relationships in spite of the geographical distance. So yeah... it's OK.

      It IS a sign of good luck... but only if you don't wash it off. Ever hear the story of the foo bird...? :)

      We DID have a stinkin' blast! Thanks.

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  10. rap is usually an occasion for laughter. The real and the metaphorical kind.
    I have friends going back to pre-school days.I have friends I met in middle age.Rather like the shoes that fit comfortably, even when they are wearing thin of sole and looking tatty, they are the sort of friends that still "fit."

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    1. That's a great way to put it. They DO still "fit." I don't know why, but this reminds me of a song our daughter used to sing with the Brownies: "Make new friends but keep the old; one is silver and the other gold."

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  11. Hey - blog friend (and that's a real category of friend). I do think if we ever meet in real life, we'll be laughing and talking up a storm.
    My true true friends are from junior high - that's the pit time of life - so when you've survived that together, you can survive anything. And even though they are in PA, I'm in TX the conversation begins exactly where it ended no matter how much time rolls by.
    Hope you had a blast with your friends - I can hear the laughs!

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    1. Hey, bloggie pal! I have NO doubt that we'd have a blast together.

      We had a terrific time in Tennessee, and I wouldn't be surprised if you did hear us laugh! (I apologize if we kept you awake...)

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  12. Read if you have the time but enjoy your time with your friends and talk and giggle all night.
    Love the friend post, surprise we have a friend post over at my blog today also.

    cheers, parsnip and badger

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    1. We did enjoy our time, and we did lots of yakking, but we didn't do much giggling. It was more all-out laughing until we could hardly breathe. :)

      Cool! I'm on my way to see your post now.

      Cheers back atcha.

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  13. Recently I re-connected with a high school friend. We talked on the phone for an hour or more. It was as if we had talked the day before instead of having a 25 year or more gap.

    Love,
    Janie

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    1. Isn't that one of the best feelings ever??? The years just kinda fade away and it's a delight to discover that the connection is as strong as ever.

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  14. I suspect I'd have laughed at the seagull too. Not quite in the same league, but my wife & I toured Cornwall years ago, and were sat out on a harbor wall eating Cornish pasties. A cheeky gull swooped her from behind and carried off her pasty. I still laugh at the memory ... and fortunately so does she :)

    Hope you have a fabulous visit!

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    1. I kinda think most gulls are pretty cheeky. In some areas, they have quite the reputation for stealing food. I guess they get tired of eating fish. (And catching that pasty was a lot easier than snagging a fish from the water.)

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  15. We had moved our office at work from downtown to near the airport and were getting used to all the airplanes flying overhead. And then, one day, we heard a new kind of noise: a helicopter. My co-worker and friend looked at each other and both quoted at the same time, "I love the smell of napalm in the morning." That's when she was promoted from "friend/coworker" to "best friend." It was so weird - it's not like the movie is my favorite movie (or hers) - but we just thought of that same line at the same time.

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    1. That's a GREAT story! It's awesome to have those "on the same wavelength" kinda friendships.

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  16. I hope you are having or had a wonderful time visiting with your friends. There is nothing better than being able to share your life with those you can call friends.

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    1. Thank you. We absolutely positively had a grrrrreat time!

      That's the truth. Being married to one of 'em is even better.

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  17. Hi Susan - I'm afraid we tend to laugh at other's misfortunes ... I was partially dumped on - and managed to take it off with a handkerchief - that then got thrown out! However I missed some and hadn't realised it was all over my hair - ah well ... I didn't know and by the time I did I was safely home! But yes time with best buddies is the best - and that rolling around laughter with quips coming left right and centre - have the most wonderful time and see you when you're around again ... if your stomach muscles have recovered ... great fun to read - cheers Hilary

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    1. Hi-ya, Hilary. Oh dear. It would've been nice if someone had let you know about the "decoration" in your hair. I can just imagine how you felt when you caught sight of it when you got home!

      We had a wonderful time. :) Cheers back atcha.

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  18. I am so very fortunate to still have many of my dearest friends. I have lost a few along the way to cancer, but they remain in my heart forever. Last week I traveled to NY to spend time with my oldest friend. We were three and four when we started playing together and now a lifetime later, we are still playing together. I have been blessed.

    I hope you had a great time and shared many laughs with your dear friends.

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    1. We've lost some of our friends to cancer and heart attacks, too, which makes the ones who are still here even more precious. It's awesome that you're still playing with that lifelong friend.

      We did! Thanks. :)

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  19. I have been seriously blessed with a lifetime of wonderful friends, in real life, book life, and online. I wouldn't trade all the riches in the world for the lot of them (yourself included!).

    (And I have to add, I am also a laugh-lover. Whenever my friends and I get together and have a drink or two or three, I'm always voted the most toasted because I am a giggler by nature and after a few sips, I find almost everything funny. So not fair, right? It's like getting punished for enjoying the hell out of life. LOL)

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    1. You and I would be a hoot together with a glass of wine. I've never had a very high tolerance for alcohol, so it doesn't take much for me to get tipsy and find absolutely everything hilarious. When our kids were growing up, they were always trying to get me to order a glass of wine with dinner when we went to a restaurant, because they thought I was so "entertaining" when I did. The little brats... :)

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  20. Beautiful and comforting, dear Susan. I still have one or two childhood friends in contact and feel very special about them.

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    1. Thank you, dear dude. And I'm sure those childhood friends still feel very special about you, too.

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  21. Happy topic - bringing smiles when you aren't even here - that's a kind of friendship :-) xx

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  22. Lots of memory time and sweet friendship. You made me smile.

    Sweet little girl! She must have been really really tired.

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    1. Good! Smiling is good exercise for the face. :)

      Isn't that a cute picture? I can relate. We're getting too darned old to be sitting up until three o'clock in the morning...

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