My Kinda Sport!

Thought for the day: You are no Vader. You are just a child in a mask. [Snoke- The Last Jedi, 2017]

If you're nerdy enough to think this cartoon is funny, you're gonna love this post. Or maybe not. Maybe all it takes is some degree of love for Star Wars. 

[image courtesy of unsplash]

I mean, how over-the-top exciting was it to see Star Wars for the first time? (Okay, so I'll admit it. It was almost as exciting the second, third, and fourth times, too...) Those high speed chases in space! The cool-looking aliens!

Oooh... the light saber fights! The way they looked, the way they sounded. Fantastic!

[image courtesy of unsplash]

And now... NOW... the French Fencing Federation has recognized light saber dueling as a competitive sport! How cool is that? Now, in addition to foils, epees, and sabers, French competitors can slash, feint and stab with cooler-than-cool LED-lit polycarbonate light saber replicas that look like they came right out of the movie. For a bit more money, would-be Jedis can even purchase light sabers with a built-in chip to emit the movie-like sound effects. Be still, my heart... (May I use a red one, please...?)

Why has this rather unusual weapon been added to the sport of fencing? To fight a real modern-day Dark Side. The lack of exercise. Wielding one of these swords requires a good bit of physical exertion, and you know... it's gotta be fun! What kid (or adult) wouldn't rather wield one of these puppies, in lieu of sitting in front of the boob tube?

I wonder if we'll ever see light saber duels at the Olympics...? (I'd watch!)

[cartoon by Jon Carter]

But let's get real. I realize that, at my age, I'm not about to swish a light saber around, no matter how cool it'd be. I'm afraid I'm more likely to use a light saber like this cartoon's aging Darth Vader... (sigh)






Oh well. Sharing the news about the light saber's new status in France gives me an excuse to share some groan-worthy puns about Star Wars. (HA! As if I needed an excuse...)

• How do Jedi open PDF files? With Adobe Wan Kenobi, of course.
• How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for Christmas? Darth felt his presents.

[cartoon by Derrick Wood]

• How does Wicket get around on Endor? Ewoks.
• What do you call a pirate droid? Arrrrgh-2-D-2
• Which Star Wars character worked in a restaurant? Darth Waiter.
• What do you call an invisible droid? C-through-PO
• Which of the movies is a baseball player's least favorite? The Umpire Strikes Back
• What do you call 5 Siths speared with a light saber? A Sith-kabob
• Why doesn't Yoda ever pick up the tab? He's always a little short.

• What do you call a Sith who won't fight? A Sithy.
• Why, oh, why, did movies 4, 5, and 6 come out before 1,2, and 3? Because in charge of directing Yoda was.

The idea of fake-fighting with a realistic light saber still sounds way too cool for me to forget about it. Let's see... I'd pretend to be Princess Leia, of course. (Fine! So if not the lovely princess, how about a frumpy but little-known dowager Queen Mia. Are you satisfied, you fantasy-killers?!) Then again, my hair isn't quite right for making those bun things, anyway... ah HA! No problem. I'll just attach a couple of bagels to the sides of my head.

 Care to join me? After our fake-fight is over... lunch will be... on me. (You bring the cream cheese.)

                         Until next time, take care of yourselves. And each other.

We're only young once, but with humor, we can be immature forever. [Art Gliner]