Thought for the day: Who indeed will set bounds to human ingenuity? Who will assert that everything in the universe capable of being perceived is already discovered and known? [Galileo]
One could argue that there is a best way to do something, but that doesn't mean it's the only way. Give ten different people the same challenge, and they're likely to come up with ten different potential solutions. (Which is why some business meetings are less than productive...)
Let's just say... some people are more creative than others. They've got more ingenuity and imagination.
Creativity is intelligence having fun. [Albert Einstein]
I reckon one way... and the safest way... to skin a cat is to buy one that doesn't have any fur to begin with. Having a naked cat would be easier on the ol' vacuum cleaner, but... um... yuk. Sorry. Not too many things creep me out, but they do.
But I digress. This post isn't about cats, hairless or not. It's about human ingenuity. I believe the following pictures will demonstrate that trait quite well, but I'll leave it to you to decide whether or not the people who obviously had a ton of fun coming up with these solutions demonstrated intelligence or not... (I'll let the pictures speak for themselves.)
At the heart of science is an essential balance between two seemingly contradictory attitudes— an openness to new ideas, no matter how bizarre or counter-intuitive they may be, and the most ruthless skeptical scrutiny of all ideas, old and new. This is how deep truths are winnowed from deep nonsense. [Carl Sagan]
Okay, so some of those pics demonstrate some very clever solutions, and others? Okay, nonsense. But funny.
Never ever underestimate the importance of having fun. [Randy Pausch]
Until next time, take care of yourselves. And each other.
Thought for the day: Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. [Lily Tomlin]
[image courtesy of unsplash]
Most of you already know it, but I'm a total word freak who revels in the nuances and quirky idiosyncrasies of the English language. As far as I'm concerned, it's a never-ending source of delight and amusement.
I mean, some words are just fun to say, dontcha think? Words like diddly squat, discombobulate, nincompoop, floozy, canoodle, patootie, and keister tickle my funny bone.
Any fun words you'd like to add?
[image courtesy of unsplash]
Some words also have the ability to make me cringe, but they aren't necessarily the so-called naughty words that once-upon-a-time merited a mouth-washing in our society. No, the words that bug me the most are the ones that drip with cruelty and unkindness. It's unconscionable that language, which can be used to edify and uplift, is too often wielded like a weapon to inflict pain.
And then there are the words we're gonna look at today. They're words that some people say should be... banished. Thrown into a dark dungeon and destined to languish in some dark corner with nothing but bread and water forever.
Kinda.
Every January first, Lake Superior State University publishes a tongue-in-cheek list of words deemed worthy of banishment from our lexicon. The first list came about as the result of a New Year's Eve party conversation, in which school P.R. director W.T. Rabe and some of his colleagues entertained themselves by talking about their word pet peeves. (I can totally imagine doing the same thing... how about you?) Just for kicks, Rabe published them the next day, and they received so much feedback and received so many suggestions of other words that should be decommissioned, the next year's list practically wrote itself. Ever since then, the annual list has been compiled from suggestions received from around the world. Nope, there's no teeth in this list. Just a little bit of fun.
[image courtesy of morguefile]
Here, marking year 45, are the words that have been kicked to the proverbial curb this year. (If you feel sorry for them, feel free to open the gate and let 'em back in... ) Quid pro quo: This phrase received the most nominations this year, with a noticeable spike in November (gee, we wonder why…). The popularity of this phrase has the committee wondering what it should offer in exchange for next year’s nominations.
Artisanal: One nominator described this word as an “obfuscation,” describing an “actual person doing something personal for another unknown person.” The committee agrees this word should be banned for well water… but not for sandwiches.
Curated: Like “artisanal,” this seems to be another attempt at making something more than it is, especially when used in reference to social media (or Banished Words Lists). As Barb from Ann Arbor says, “Save it for the museum.”
Influencer: According to Urban Dictionary, “A word Instagram users use to describe themselves to make them feel famous and more important when no one really know who they are or care.”
Literally: Surprisingly, this word hasn’t already been banished, but here it is, one of the few words in English that has begun to serve as its own antonym. Many of the nominators cite this word’s use for figurative expressions or emphasis, which is literally annoying.
I mean: It’s easy to see why this phrase was nominated, right? I mean…
Living my best life: The committee very much enjoys exercising its authority in banishing words annually–literally the capstone of our year–but as Eric says, apart from reincarnation, are there “options for multiple lives”?
Mouthfeel: A word used by foodies to describe the texture of food or drink in the mouth, which the committee feels should be banished entirely from food reality TV shows. As our nominator asks, “Where else, exactly, would you like to touch your food or beverage?” This one just doesn’t feel right in the mouth.
Chirp: This one is a new insult for the non-millennials on the committee. Before we get chirped for being out of touch, as our nominator suggests, why don’t we leave it to the birds?
Jelly: An abbreviation of “jealous,” the committee agrees with the nominator of this word who suggested that it’s better left for toast.
Totes: Another abbreviation, this time of “totally.” Totes overused.
Vibe / vibe check: A new use of the 60s term, “good vibes.” This one just doesn’t vibe with us anymore, unless the speaker is actually vibrating.
OK, Boomer: This phrase caught on late this year on the Internet as a response from millennials to the older generation. Boomers may remember, however, that generational tension is always present. In fact, it was the Boomers who gave us the declaration: “Don’t trust anyone over 30!”
Are there any words or phrases you'd like to add to the list? (If you wanta do it for real, see the school's nominating form HERE)
You know, I was thinking...
If there's a list for words that should be erased from usage, (or at least put in time out) maybe there should also be a list of words we'd like to ADD to common usage...
Like some of these:
Carcolepsy: an affliction that makes some people fall asleep as soon as the car starts moving. Cellfish: people who are more interested in their phones than they are with the people who are right there with them. Askhole: Someone who asks an endless string of stupid, pointless, and obnoxious questions just to hear the sounds of their own voices. Exhaustipated: too tired to give a crapola Carcheologist: The person who has to dig out all the crap that's hidden in and under the car seats. Nostrildamas: Someone with a real... nose for the news.
Until next time, take care of yourselves. And each other.
Thought for the day: If it weren't for electricity, we'd all be watching television by candlelight. [George Gobel]
[image courtesy of morguefile]
And if it weren't for telephones, I reckon we'd all be sending smoke signals.
To tell the truth, I had no idea what I was gonna write about for today's post. Oh, I had a few nebulous ideas, but nothing that stirred much enthusiasm in me.
Then Monday happened, and serendipity struck.
When I went to my ophthamologist last week, she prescribed another eyedrop to add to my daily regimen, and told me to come back in a month to have the pressure remeasured.The staff kindly made a return appointment for me, and I went on my merry way.
That afternoon, Smarticus' next surgery was scheduled, and you guessed it... it fell on the same day as that aforementioned appointment.
No problem, right? I simply went online and canceled the appointment, and figured I'd make a call to the (ugh!) appointment center on Monday to reschedule.
OY! Big problem! First, after dutifully entering all the required information into the automated system, the robo-voice told me all lines were busy, and there'd be a wait of anywhere between 56 minutes and an hour and 23 minutes... (Where do they come up with arbitrary numbers???) so did I want someone to call me back. To sweeten the offer, I was assured that I "wouldn't lose my place in line." A no-brainer, right? So I left the required information, and about two hours later, give or take, I got that promised call-back. Cool, huh?
Nope. Not cool. An automated voice once again informed me that all lines were busy, but the next available assistant would take my call. (Why, why, WHY did they call me back, if they were only going to put me on HOLD again?) Silly naive me thought it'd only be a short wait. After all, I was next in line, right?
I gave up after waiting for more than an hour, and I've gotta tell ya, it gave me enormous pleasure to slam my phone receiver back into its cradle. (One of the pleasures of owning a landline. Also... I have NEVER accidentally dropped my phone into the toilet or run it through the washing machine. Just saying...)
Then I took the phone off the hook. Phooey on 'em! I had stuff to do, dammit!
And I was MAD! SOOOOO mad, I wanted to punch the wall and scream. So natch, I did what any other perfectly normal weird irate writer would do... I wrote a silly poem that evening:
'Tis a sad and tragic story, But one that must be told, About a most unlucky fella Whose call was put on hold. A recorded voice informed him There'd be a slight delay, 'But your call is quite important, So please don't go away.' Then began an endless loop Of an irritating tune, Plus timely saccharine assurances That someone would answer soon. 'I'm sure this won't take long,' The foolish man did say. 'I'll simply sit and wait my turn... Why not? I've got all day.' Minutes passed, and then passed hours, As life went on around him. Yet still he sat, phone pressed to ear, For his determination bound him. The longer he waited, The more he had to stay. His call'd be answered any sec, So he mustn't go away. With zero sleep and little food, He clutched his phone for days. He began to hum that damnable tune, And his puffy eyes looked crazed. Then finally, on day twenty-two or three, The music stopped; he held his breath, And he heard a woman say: 'Thank you for your patience. I'm so glad that you could stay. Now won't you kindly tell me What I can do for you today?' 'Your mattress stinks; I'll not return To your crummy store Sweet Slumber. I demand my money back!' 'So sorry, sir. Wrong number!"
***********
On Tuesday, I played it smart. I called the dreaded appointment center first thing in the morning. So first thing, in fact, after dutifully entering all the required information into the automated system, I was informed that the place didn't open until 8 AM. (The slackers!) There was a happy ending, though. I called on the stroke of eight, and by golly, I was first in line, and the task was accomplished in a matter of minutes. From now on, I will ALWAYS make that call at 8 AM. Burn me once, shame on you. Burn me twice, shame on me.
So are automated telephone systems and being put on hold the banes of your existence, too? Oh, and let's not forget those delightful robo-calls. (I guess there weren't enough people being duped via email, eh?) If none of those things make it to the top of your pet peeve list, what does? (Why not write a poem about it? HA) And, ya know, if we can't beat the system, we might as well laugh at it...
Kinda makes ya nostalgic for the good old days of telephone, doesn't it? Well, except maybe for those pesky party lines. You know... when you knew your nosy neighbor was listening to your call, because you could hear her open-mouthed breathing. Oh, but remember those really sweet helpful operators? Remember... Earnestine?
Until next time, take care of yourselves. And each other.
