Rock 'n' Rolling Happy Pants

Thought for the day:  I hear Akron is bouncing back from financial difficulties. Makes sense to me. After all, it is the rubber capital of the world.

[morguefile]

Now, I can't vouch for the authenticity of those elephant ears and toes offered for your dining pleasure at that Ohio concession stand in the picture, but I know they DO drink a lot of pop up that way. (As opposed to my neck of the woods, where all sodas are called cokes.)

I've only been to Ohio once, but it was a blast. We celebrated our thirty-somethingth anniversary there at the Dayton Hamfest. (WHAT? You celebrate your way, and we'll celebrate ours...) In addition to hobnobbing with thousands of amateur radio operators from all over the world, we also took a side trip to nearby Wright-Patterson Museum, an enormous USAF museum of aviation history. As I recall, it was a monsoon kinda day, but pbbbbt! we didn't let torrential rain dampen our spirits.





                                                Okay, ready for a little picture tour?

Rock and Roll Hall of Fame [Wikipedia]

Let's start with the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, located in Cleveland. An interesting tidbit: Ohio actually has an official state rock song. Neat concept, huh? However, I find Hang on Sloopy to be a rather odd choice, don't you? 

The Great Serpent Mound [Pollinator -en.wikipedia]

Prehistoric inhabitants of North America built earthen mounds for religious and ceremonial burial purposes, and one of the more unusual mounds winds a 411-mile wiggly serpentine path near Peebles, Ohio. The mound varies in height from less than a foot to more than three feet, and winds back and forth for more than 800 feet, ending in a triple-coiled tail. The mouth opens around a 120-foot long oval, which is believed to represent an egg. Similar serpent mounds can be found in Ontario and Scotland.

Map of Serpent mound, circa 1848 [Wikipedia]

Longaberger Basket Company [morguefile]

I'm not saying that working at this company is always a picnic, but come on! Located at Basket Village, USA, in Dresden, this world's largest basket is the seven-story corporate HQ of the Longaberger Basket Company. I wonder if they have a mascot. Yogi Bear, maybe? Yeah, definitely a smile-worthy building. Except for the darned ants...

Pro Football Hall of Fame [Wikipedia]

I'll bet the Pro Football Hall of Fame, located in Canton, would be another fun place to visit. Interesting tidbit: Ohio had the first professional BASEBALL team in the country. The Cincinnati Reds, who started out as the Red Stockings, got their start back in 1869. Kinda makes me wonder why the baseball hall of fame isn't in Ohio. And if a team is the FIRST professional team, who do they play...?

[morguefile]

Talking about baseball, didja ever hear of the Great Nickel Beer Night Riot? On June 4, 1974, in an ill-conceived promotion intended to attract fans to the stadium to watch the Cleveland Indians play the Texas Rangers, somebody came up with the bright idea of offering five-cent beers. Yeah. Right. Well, the promotion certainly filled the seats. It was the largest crowd Municipal Stadium had seen in years. But a simple Beer 101 equation should've warned them: big crowd plus dirt-cheap beer equals a big inebriated crowd. The crowd grew so rowdy, the baseball players had to leave the field to escape all the beer bottles raining down from the stands, the Indians had to forfeit, and THAT, my friends, was THE END of cheap booze at any U.S. stadium.

Time for a brief intermission. The phenomenal Dayton Hamvention, the largest hamfest in the country, if not the world, is an incredible multi-day experience for any amateur radio operator. There, it's actually cool, and the norm... to be a nerd. Since it'd be next to impossible to capture the essence of this fest in a single snapshot, how about a short video?

                        Okay, back to our tour.

Sopwith Camel [Chris Light- en.wikipedia]

The Sopwith Camel in the picture (an English plane) is one of a bazillion planes on display at the Wright-Patterson USAF Museum near Dayton. Just about everybody knows about the Wright Brothers' test flights at Kitty Hawk, NC, but didja know Dayton was actually their hometown?

Wright Cycle Company [Wikipedia]

The Wright Brothers' bicycle shop was housed in five different locations in the Dayton area. At right is the Wright Cycle Company location now deemed a national historic site.

Neil Armstrong Museum [Wikipedia]

The Neil Armstrong Air and Space Museum is located in Wapakoneta, Ohio. The first man to walk on the moon is a native Ohioan. I've never been there, but I hear the museum is (ahem) outta this world.







Okay, time to relax and check out some of the laws still on the books in Ohio, and see if any of THEM are outta this world. By the way, how about this flag? It's the only state flag shaped like a pennant.

• If you ignore an orator in Ohio on Decoration Day to such an extent as to publicly play croquet or pitch horseshoes within one mile of the speaker, you can be fined twenty-five dollars. (Sheesh, talk about ego!)
• It's illegal for women to wear patent leather shoes in public. 
• Oh, no ya don't! Sorry, but no fishing for whales on Sundays.
• It's also against the law to get a fish drunk. (But some days, that's the only way I can convince one to come home with me...)
• You must honk your horn before passing another car.
• Participating or conducting a duel is prohibited. (But it's okay to watch.)
• It's illegal for more than five women to live in the same house. (What? No sororities?)
• It's against the law to mistreat anything of great importance. (And who, exactly gets to decide?)
• No one may be arrested on a Sunday, or on the fourth of July. (Better plan that heist for Independence Day, gang!)
• In Akron, it's illegal to display colored chicks for sale. (Hide 'em!)
• In Bay Village, it's against the law to walk a cow down Lake Road. (So, do the cha-cha.)
• Now, this one is just plain foul. In Bexley, it's illegal to install and use slot machines in outhouses.
• In Canton, if you lose your pet tiger, you must notify the authorities within an hour.
• In Cleveland, women are forbidden from wearing patent leather shoes, but they at least know the reason here. It's so men can't see a reflection of the women's underwear.
• Also in Cleveland, it's illegal to catch mice without a hunting license. (Wow! Can ya step on a roach?)
• Lima laws say you can't sell any maps there that don't show a clear depiction of Lima on it.
• In Lowell, it's illegal to run a horse over 5 MPH. (Last time I rode a horse, the speedometer was missing.) 
• In McDonald, it's against the law to parade your duck down Ohio Avenue. (I'm telling ya, people... CHA-CHA!)
• In North Canton, it's illegal to roller skate without notifying the police.
• Oxford laws say it's illegal to honk your horn, because it might scare the horses, and it's against the law for a woman to strip off her clothes while standing in front of a man's picture. 
• Better keep a close eye on your pooch in Paulding. It's legal there for a policeman to bite a dog to quiet him.
• In Toledo, it's illegal to throw a snake at anyone.
• And finally, in Youngstown, it's against the law to run out of gas. 

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Okay, it's that time again. Time for (ta-DA!)

The Weirdest News Stories of the Week

[Wikipedia]

*** Some people just don't know when to leave. Twelve years after a South Carolina woman broke up with her boyfriend, he was discovered living in her attic, using old coats and insulation to line his "bed"... a heating duct. No telling exactly how long he'd been living up there, but he'd fashioned a peep hole above her bed so he could keep an eye on her. Recently, he made more noise than usual, and after investigating, the surprised homeowner learned the rat living in her attic only had two legs. Which he used to flee when the police were summoned. The cheeky rodent is still at large.

[Wikipedia]

*** Eleven-month old Elvis O'Connor is already a seasoned actor. In fact, the little fella was signed by a talent agency before he was even born... based on his image in a pre-natal scan! Agents said they could tell from that scan that he was going to look like his five-year old big sister Alana, who was already a client. She's a regular on Brit TV show CBeebies, while the talented baby is a regular on Mrs. Biggs. Go figure. I dunno. My grandchildren are all beautiful, but in their ultrasound images, they looked a lot like creepy little aliens to me.

[Wikipedia]

*** Is that a gun in your pocket, honey, or are you happy to see me?  [Mae West]

When a flight from Bangkok landed in India for a layover before continuing on to Dubai this week, security personnel opted to frisk several of the male passengers, whose, um, britches looked a little too...  happy. Turns out, they were smuggling lori monkeys in their underwear. (Bangkok, indeed!) The big-eyed exotic monkeys, who measure about 17 cm, (6.7 inches) are much-sought after as pets, but they're also an endangered species. (Especially if those men had beans for lunch.) Another monkey was found discarded in an airport trashcan, so evidently, one of the men decided carrying two of the furry critters in his undies wasn't particularly comfortable. Oh, and if toting a monkey in a pair of tighty whities isn't bizarre enough for you, Indian officials also recently nabbed a man with ten turtles nestled in his Fruit o' the Looms. Jeez. I've heard of guys stuffing a sock down there before, but this is downright ridiculous.
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                        Until next time, take care of yourselves. And each other.